Into Your Arms
by WakeUpSunshine
Summary: AU AH Bella is busy trying to support her and her sixteen year old son. She was never expecting her son's father to return to Forks after leaving before their child was born. Now she has to face him; tell him the lie she's held for so long.ExB
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of these characters. Never have; Never will.

"Masen Anthony Swan, get your butt down here now!" I yelled through my two story townhouse. "You're going to be late!"

"God, Mom take a chill pill." He rolled his green eyes at me reaching the bottom of the stairs. He looked more and more like his father every day.

"You're going to be late." I repeated handing a pop tart over to my bronze haired boy. He just gave me his ever crooked smile and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"Don't get too lonely with out me, Ma!" He yelled rushing out the front door. I took a deep breath sinking down in the nearest chair. Truthfully, I was kind of happy to have him out of the house. The entire summer had been full of nothing but teenage boys running in and out of my house. Plus, I knew it was less time I would have to deal with my son's obnoxious girlfriend.

I'm a single mother and have been since my boy was born those short sixteen years ago. At first it was hard but through the years it just seemed to get easier for me. Masen was my life and I couldn't see living without the kid.

I was sixteen when I had him. His father was the love of my life at the time. Until he went away to college. Two weeks after he left I was sitting in my bathroom staring at a positive pregnancy test. I knew I could have called him and he would have been on the next plane back to Forks. I had run straight for the phone dialing his cell number but quickly pressing the end button. There was no way I could tell him something like this over the phone. That's when I decided I wanted to do this alone.

My father became my rock through those nine months I spent carrying Masen. He was born seven days after he was supposed to be. Once I had him in my arms I cried. I cried for three days after that until my dad told me that my son needed me.

I realized I needed him just as much.

I finished high school early before going to the local community college. My mom who had been living in Phoenix with her new husband quickly moved to Forks to help take care of my boy. I knew it was difficult since her husband was a baseball player which meant he would be traveling a lot but she risked that to help me out, for that I am in great debt to the eccentric woman.

"Bella!" My best friend, Alice Hale, brought me out of my thoughts. "Oh, Bella you look a mess." The pixie like woman frowned at me. I had learned over the years to not take offence to whatever words Alice threw at me.

"Masen's first day of school." I sigh.

"Which has you thinking of Edward." She rolls her eyes.

"Of course." I nod.

"Jesus, Bella when are you ever going to get over Edward Cullen?" She sits down in the chair that is right next to me.

"How about never?" I groan.

"What about Jake? You two seemed to be getting cozy the other night." She grinned at me.

Jacob Black. The only guy I've been with since I had Masen. Mine and Jacob's relationship has been only physical for some time now. He's been trying to push something more on me but I'm really not interested at the moment. Or it's possible I will never be interested in something more with him.

He's become a great stand in father for Masen, but I have to constantly remind the both of them that Jacob is not Masen's father.

"You know that he and I are only friends." I roll my eyes standing up and walking over to the coffee pot. I need caffeine if I am going to be dealing with Alice this early in the morning.

"Friends with benefits." She mumbles. I laugh at this.

"That's all we'll ever be, so please don't press this anymore." I say. She holds her hands up in defeat. "Thank you, now what exactly are you doing here?"

"Is it a crime to come see my best friend?" She grins.

"No, but you're usually not up this early."

"Fine, I can't hold it in any longer!" She gushed standing up and walking towards me. "I'm pregnant!"

"Oh, Alice. That's wonderful!" I launch myself at her. Alice and her husband Jasper have been trying for years to have a child. The two of them have tried everything to conceive.

"I know." She grinned pulling away from my hug. "Jasper's beside himself. The poor guy is terrified."

"You'd think he would have been prepared for this. After all he helped out with Masen." I say pouring the finished coffee into a mug.

Alice and Jasper have been together since freshman year of high school. She said that the second she met him she knew he was her soul mate. Seeing the two of them together I know she wasn't wrong about that at all. If anyone deserved a child it was them.

They had stuck with me through my entire pregnancy and after. Alice said that she would stop at nothing to help me out. Jasper hadn't been so sure at first but he quickly changed his mind when he met my baby boy.

"Oh Lord, I should get going!" She glanced at her phone. "I'll call you later. Don't get too depressed today, alright?" She said hugging me.

"I'll try." I smiled.

"That's all I ask, bye Bells!" With that she was out the door.

"Bella?" Alice had barely made it out the door when I heard Jacob's voice echo through the house. I just rolled my eyes knowing that Alice probably said something to him on her way out.

"In the kitchen!" I yelled.

"Good Morning." He smiled walking close to me. His hands instantly found my hips. I wasn't in the mood this morning but I knew pushing him away would do no good. "Alice said you're feeling down." He buried his face into my hair.

"I'm not." I shake my head. Jacob doesn't make me feel alive when he touches me. My body doesn't heat up nor does my heart beat quickly at his closeness, ever.

"Sure about that?" He looked up at me.

"Very, now I need to get ready for work." I say with barely any emotion.

"I just wanted to stop by to see if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight." He finally pulled away from me and let his hands leave my hips making me feel less like I was going to puke any second.

"I don't get off until seven, Jacob. I'll be far too tired to go out." I say.

"Come on, Bells. It's just dinner." He tried.

"Not tonight, Jacob." I shake my head.

"Fine, how about I meet you at the hospital for lunch then?" He raised an eyebrow at me. I knew what he was thinking. I knew he was wanting some sort of silly quickie in the back of his jeep but I'm just not up for it.

"Not today. I'm having lunch with Rosalie." I say happy that I have a reason to not see Jacob at all today.

"Fine. I have to get going anyway. I doubt Seth can hold up the garage too much longer this morning."

I was happy once he left. I was alone at last.

I needed to get ready for work.

I've worked for Forks County Hospital since my son was six years old. I'm a pediatric nurse, at first the job took a lot out of me. Considering I did not do that well with blood in the beginning. It's gotten easy over the years and I've come to completely love my job.

As I slipped my shirt over my head I heard my cell phone ring. I just rolled my eyes not wanting another distraction that morning but also knowing that if I didn't answer it whoever was on the other line would keep calling over and over again until I did answer.

_Charlie._

"Hey, Dad."

"_Bells, you're late." _I just rolled my eyes. Of course he'd already be up at the hospital waiting on me.

"No I still have half an hour to get there." I say running a brush through my dark hair.

"_I was just hoping to see you before I had to be at the station_." Something seemed strange.

"I'm sorry, how about you stop by around lunchtime. I've got plans with Rosalie but she won't mind if you join." I say to him.

"_I actually have plans at lunch." _He coughed. My eyes widened. Charlie having plans?

"Oh, well then I get off of work at seven?" I don't mean for it to sound like a question, I'm just a little curious as to what he's going to be doing at lunch.

"_I'll just stop by the house tonight then. I want to see my grandson anyway." _He sounded proud. Dad adores Masen, and my son pretty much worships my father. They spend most of their Sunday's at the lake fishing and being guys. Masen doesn't get that much besides when Jake or Jasper is around and I try to not keep Jake around him too much. I just don't want Masen to get even more attached to him. I don't plan on taking my relationship further with this guy, but I know that Masen won't see it that way further down the road.

"Sounds good, how about you pick up a pizza and bring it over." I tell him.

"_Alright, I'll see you later Bella." _I sigh inwardly and click the end button on my phone.

Time for my day to start.

* * *

My feet are more then tired by the time lunch comes around. I feel as if I hadn't set down the entire day. I know that it's just going to get worse as the day goes on. I walk through the cafeteria to find Rosalie already sitting at a table eating.

"Couldn't wait for me?" I lift an eyebrow approaching her.

"Sorry, Bella but Isabelle here doesn't like to wait long to eat." The blonde grinned patting her stomach. Rosalie is almost seven months along with her second daughter. Soon enough she should be going on maternity leave. Hopefully pediatrics won't be too hectic without our main doctor. I met Rosalie McCarty two years after starting at the hospital. She's become one of my best friends besides Alice. She met her husband Emmett five years ago and they've been married for four. Their oldest daughter, Katherine Mary McCarty will be three next month. Now they are just waiting for Isabelle Louise McCarty to be born. Rosalie said that she just adored my name and that her mind was made up and it would not only be my name but her newborn daughter's name as well, but replacing the a at the end with an e. I must say I'm flattered.

"I completely understand. Being pregnant with Masen in high school was pure hell having to wait so long to eat." I sat down across from her and pulled an apple out of my bag.

"I reached into my coat pocket this morning and found it full of cookies. I didn't even know that I had put them there." She gave me a smile.

"I ate so many Oreo's when I was pregnant with Masen. My parents would buy three or four packs at a time because I went through them so quickly." I laughed remembering those nine months I held my little boy in my stomach.

"Oreo's sound really good right now. I'll have to pick some up before I head home today." She laughed stuffing a piece of bread into her mouth. "Oh yeah, I saw your dad this morning. He seemed really antsy."

"Oh, he called me and asked why I was late for work. Said he had something to talk to me about. I'm a little worried."

"I'm sure it's nothing. Your dad doesn't like change much so I doubt it'll be too bad." She shrugs and I really hope she's right.

* * *

"How was school?" I ask my son who is sitting on the couch watching TV when I enter the house. My feet are hurting ten times as bad as they had been at lunch. All I wanted to do was take off my smelly clothes, take a shower and go to bed. One of the newborns in the NICU today had an accident all over me. I'm really not sure how I managed to get into such a mess, but I did and now I was paying for it by the smell that was coming from me.

"Good." He didn't even look up at me. I glanced at the TV and realized he was watching Cops. I just rolled my eyes.

"Charlie should be here soon." I say walking over and sitting down on the couch so I could take off my shoes.

"Yeah, he called." Was all he said.

"Oh, what'd he say?" I questioned.

"That he was bringing dinner over. You know Mom you really smell." He wrinkled up his nose finally looking over at me. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"I know. I'm going to take a shower."

"Good because I don't think Jacob will want to smell you like that." He said and them I saw a smirk on his face.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah, he called and I invited him over for dinner."

"Oh, that's just lovely." I say sarcastically.

"I think so." He laughed. Masen knows exactly how I feel about Jacob, yet he still pushes.

* * *

"What's he doing here?" Charlie whispered in my ear as I pulled out plates from the upper cabinet in my kitchen. I had just gotten out of the shower to find Masen and Jacob playing a video game and Charlie just walking through the front door.

"Your grandson invited him." I sighed.

"I was just hoping to talk to you and Masen alone…"

"What's going on, Dad? You're acting strange." I face him with a hand on my hip.

"I've just got some news is all." He gave me a smile. Wait, did Charlie actually just smile? I haven't seen the old man smile like that in years.

"Then just go ahead and tell me now. I'll tell Masen later." I say not wanting to delay him telling me what is going on any longer.

"I've been seeing Sue Clearwater." My eyes widened. I hadn't been expecting that one. "And we've decided to get married." Whoa. Wasn't expecting that either.

"Married? How long have you been seeing her?" I could barely breathe.

"About six months. I've really fallen for her, Bells. I'm also tired of being alone." Sue is a great lady but I've never been able to picture her and my father together. She's a widow with two kids. Leah is just a few years younger then I am and Seth is about the same age as Masen. They are coincidentally best friends. The past summer Seth practically lived with us.

"Dad, I hope you're making a wise decision." I say not wanting to say something that I'll regret later.

"I've really thought about it Bells, the wedding is in four months. We figure that's enough time for everyone to adjust to our relationship. Sue's telling her two tonight." He looks nervous. I just take a deep breath and then offer him a smile. I want Charlie to be happy and if this makes him happy then I'm all for it.

"Congratulations Dad." I smile and them hug his neck.

"Thanks, Bella."

* * *

"Did you just say Grandpa's marrying Seth's mom?" Masen's eyes widened. After my dad left Jacob wasn't far behind him. I had basically ignored him the entire night to only have him try to kiss me before he left. I turned my head and he got my cheek instead of my lips.

"Basically." I nod. "Now, we'll talk about this more later. Go to bed."

"I can't believe this." He shakes his head laughing a little. I'm about to follow and go to bed myself when my phone rings.

_Alice _flashes across the screen of my phone.

"_Bella, I need you to sit down." _I don't even get to say hello.

"For what?" I ask curiously.

"_I have something to tell you, now are you sitting down?"_

"Yeah." I lied. "Now tell me why you sound freaked out."

"_Because you aren't going to believe who I just saw."_

"Who?" I was clueless.

"_He only came by because he and Jasper are cousins, you know that and I really just wanted to slice his head off the second I saw him." _I was confused. All I knew was that Jasper only had one cousin and that was Edward, well he was sort of a step cousin. The Cullen's had adopted Edward when he was just a child.

"Alice, I'm confused." I said finally having to sit down.

"_Edward's back in Forks, Bella, He was here at my house. You should have seen how fast Jasper ran to take down the pictures of Masen. If he saw a glimpse of that boy he would know." _I couldn't breathe.

Too much for one day.

Way, way too much.

He couldn't be back in Fork's. He was supposed to be far away from here and moved on with his life.

"_There's more. He's got a little girl. She is absolutely the most adorable little thing I've ever seen, but I promise I wasn't nice to Edward for one second."_

"I have to go, Alice. This is too much." I shook my head like she could see me.

"_Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry I just figured I should tell you before you randomly saw him out and about." She sounded worried. _

"_It's fine, really. I just need to go to bed." _

But I didn't fall asleep as quickly as I thought I would.

No my night was full of me tossing and turning; running over and over in my mind on how my first encounter with Edward might be. Although I was hoping to God I wouldn't have to have that encounter. Not with my secret of Masen.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter of this. Thank you to those who added me to their story alerts and favorites. I wasn't expecting so many, but I appreciate every single one of them!

* * *

Chapter 2

"You're not allowed over at Jasper and Alice's without me." I say to Masen the next morning as he's eating his cereal. He gives me this strange look. "Just listen to me, alright?" I eye him.

"Sure, whatever. I was going over to Jacob's tonight anyway." He shrugs.

"Why?"

"Because you won't be home until eleven and I need to eat." He looked up at me. I had totally forgotten. Usually on those nights Masen went over to Alice and Jasper's for dinner. Alice had said that she didn't want my son to only consume junk food so she cooked for him on those nights.

"Oh, right." I nod glancing over at my schedule. I didn't have to be at work until three. I wasn't sure if I really wanted that alone time.

"Is there a reason I can't go over there?" He questions.

"Jasper's cousins with Edward." Is all I say. I have never hidden from Masen who his father is. He's known his whole life, he's even known that I never told Edward about him. At first Masen thought it was because I was ashamed of him but that was far from the truth.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" His eyes lit up at the mention of Edward. Masen has always wanted to know his father. Only in the past five years has he stopped begging me to meet him. I just knew that I made a mistake in not telling Edward about him. I wasn't sure if I could handle the confrontation that would come with Edward finding out.

"He's in town. He's actually living in town." I look down at the newspaper I just picked up.

"He's in town?" I didn't look up at him as I nodded. "So, I get to meet him. Right?"

"Wrong. He doesn't know about you, kid." I say feeling terrible for what I'm saying to him.

"Then tell him about me!" His voice raises a little.

"It's not that easy." I finally look over at him.

"Yes it is, Mom!" He's too loud for my liking.

"Don't raise your voice at me, Masen. Calm down and finish your breakfast. I'm sorry but things are the way they are for a reason and just because he's back in town doesn't change a thing."

"It changes everything." He says and stands up slamming his chair into the table. I watch as he walks away and out the front door.

I know I've failed as a mother but it's just to protect him.

* * *

"Let me guess, you told Masen." Alice had come over for lunch after I told her there was cold pizza leftover from the night before. Her pregnancy cravings got the best of her and she flew right over to my house. I needed someone to talk to anyway.

"I did."

"And how'd he take it?" She munched on the pizza backwards, starting with the crust. I had never seen the point in that but Alice wouldn't eat it any other way.

"Terribly. God, Alice. Did I do the right thing in keeping them away from each other?" I put my head in my hands.

"No, but that's the way things are." She shrugged.

"Thanks for the sympathy."

"No problem." Alice grinned.

"So, how is he?" I wrung my hands together waiting impatiently for her answer.

"Who?" She grinned.

"You know who." I groaned leaning my elbows on the table.

"He's great, I guess. He looks almost exactly the same as he had in High school except now he totes around a thirteen month old daughter."

"Oh, wow." I had always pictured Edward as a wonderful father, just not at the young age we were when I was pregnant with Masen. Those days I just didn't want to ruin his life. I didn't want Edward to regret us in the end, when he realized that all of his dreams really didn't come true.

"Her mother and Edward had been dating for a couple of years. But in the end it just didn't work and the mother didn't think she could handle the baby so she left her with Edward." Alice went on to explain to me.

"Wow, I wonder how she could do such a thing." I shook my head never being able to imagine just giving up my kid, even if it was to his father.

"No idea, so now apparently he wants a fresh start back here in Forks. Not sure what's here for him." She rolled her eyes. "And no, he didn't ask about you. Although I could tell he wanted to." Alice didn't take her eyes off of her pizza as she spoke to me.

"Nothing?" I say.

"I'm sure he was just afraid to say something. I probably didn't have the nicest look on my face." She giggled.

"I don't know what to do. I know I'm not going to seek him out but what happens if he sees Masen. Alice the second he sees his son he's going to know."

"Of course he is, Masen is like his spitting image. It's rather unnerving." She wrinkled up her small nose then took the last bite of her pizza with a wide grin.

"So, what do I do?" I pressed hoping Alice would give me something.

"Oh, silly Bella." She shook her head and reached out for my hand. "You're going to be okay, you're strong enough to get through this."

"You didn't answer my question." I groaned snatching away my hand. She just laughed and stood up.

"Well, I hate to eat and run but I really must get going. Jasper's mother wants to discuss me not screaming in the delivery room. Woman must be insane." She placed her hand on her stomach. She didn't even look a bit pregnant.

"Good luck with that one." I snorted remembering that terrible twenty-four hours of being in labor with my son. There was no way I wasn't going to scream having to pop that child out of a small hole.

* * *

"I'll kill him." My father's face tensed up as I walked into the station. He was sitting at his desk.

"Kill who?" I asked confused. "Or maybe we should start with hello." I walked over and placed a kiss on my father's forehead.

"Hello, Bells." He nodded.

"Now who are we going to kill?" I chuckled taking a seat in front of his desk.

"You've heard haven't you?" He questioned. I suddenly knew what he was talking about.

"Yeah." I nod hoping he didn't go further with the conversation.

"Are you okay with this?" He sat up.

"No, but it's going to be okay. I made my decision in keeping Masen a secret from him and I'm going to stick by it." I tried to sound confident but really I wasn't.

"Maybe it's time…" He started but I quickly cut him off.

"It's never going to be time to tell him, Dad. Never, so let's just drop this." I sigh running my fingers through my hair rather nervously.

"Alright." He nods sitting back.

I sat back in my own chair and tried to think back to a time where I hadn't been afraid of Edward coming back, really there never was a time. There was always that possibility and I knew that.

It's just I hadn't been expecting that time to be now.

"I just stopped by to ask if you and Sue wanted to come to dinner Friday night. I get off at three." I stand up knowing I had to get to work soon. It was almost 2:30.

"Sure, we'll be there." He nods then reaches for the now ringing phone. I take that as my cue to leave. I smile and mouth my goodbyes before heading out of the police station.

It's rainy today, just like every other day in this town.

I'm really beginning to hate the rain, or I've hated it my whole life. I'm never sure.

I open the door to my truck to only slip and fall right down on my butt when I try to get inside the cabin. I swear out loud and check my body to make sure I didn't hurt myself. I had a tendency to do things like this.

Edward used to smile and say 'Clumsy Bella' which usually made me smack him.

I quickly stood up and tried to get inside my truck before anyone noticed that I had fallen. I hated people fussing over me, plus this fall was nothing compared to the many others I have endured over the years. Nothing to worry about.

"Still falling down I see." I stopped dead as I heard that velvety voice. I shut my eyes wishing away who was behind me. Hoping to God it wasn't who I really thought it was.

I felt the shivers run though my body at the sound of his voice, so I knew it had to be him. No other man could evoke such feelings within me.

Not other man but Edward Cullen.

"Bella?" I heard his voice again. I didn't want to look at him. I just wanted to get into my truck. I needed to get out of there but I suddenly realized that wasn't going to happen. He had already noticed me, I would seem completely insane if I just fled like I desperately wanted to.

When I didn't answer he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder trying to get my attention. My breath caught in my throat.

He shouldn't touch me.

No, that was bad. Very bad.

I kept my eyes shut as I turned slowly to face him. I opened each eye carefully not sure how I was going to handle this situation.

Alice was right he hadn't changed a bit. Still as tall as ever with those amazing green eyes, the same green eyes our son had. His bronze hair seemed a little lighter then before but that was about all the change I could see.

I quickly noticed the squirming figure in his arms. I realized that the thing in his arms was his daughter. The little girl I was almost afraid to see. Since I knew it would make me feel terrible for ripping away from Edward those young years with Masen.

"It's really you." He grinned. I would have fallen again if I hadn't been leaning against my truck right then. "I was wondering when I would see you."

I was hoping never.

But then again that was too soon.

"You're back in town?" I sounded like an idiot and not a thirty-two year old mother. I sounded like the young girl from back when I first started speaking to him. Completely and totally taken by his looks, his voice, the way he stood, that smile. Everything.

"Yeah, I figured it would be a good place to raise my daughter." His voice started out proud but faltered a little on 'daughter.'

"Well, that's great!" I said a little too loudly.

God, I desperately needed to get out of there.

"I think so." He nods bouncing this little girl a little. This time I see her face. She's gorgeous, and looks a lot like Masen did as a baby. Her hair was much lighter then my sons was, though.

"It was great seeing you Edward, but I should get going." I tried to turn around but he caught my arm. There went my breath again.

"I was wondering if we could have coffee some time or dinner. To catch up." He was trying to dazzle me. I could tell.

"That'd be great." I nod taking my arm away from his grip. I knew I wouldn't really take him up on that coffee or dinner offer. No it was too risky.

Everything was too risky now. Maybe him meeting Masen was inevitable. Forks isn't exactly a large town, sooner or later he'd hear something or see Masen around town.

"Good, I've really missed you Bells." He gave me that crooked grin that I had fallen in love with all those years ago.

He couldn't be back.

This couldn't be happening.

"Yeah, well I'll talk to you later. Bye Edward. Bye…I never got her name." My voice was breaking, I was starting to get more nervous and I really didn't understand why.

"Alexa." He smile at her and then me. I just nodded and quickly got into my truck.

I was now safe.

Safe away from his ways of making me fall for him all over again.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the Alerts and Reviews. I appreciate all of that. I have so many plans for this story.

Chapter 3

I sighed walking into my dark house around 11:30 that night. I was both physically and emotionally drained from the days events.

After running into Edward I headed quickly to work where I was met with Rosalie. She told me about how a patient of ours had come back in just an hour before. He wasn't doing well and she was doing everything possible to get the boy to live through the night.

At seven I walked into his room. His mother was sitting next to his bed knitting and speaking to his sleeping form. I watched as tears just rolled down her cheeks.

Michael had been diagnosed with Leukemia just a year after his birth and has been fighting it ever since. I knew it wasn't a good thing to get attached to patients but I had become attached to the seven year old through the years.

Fifteen minutes after checking on the little boy he was rushed to the OR.

I hadn't been able to think until I heard news on him.

He would live through the night. He was safe for now. All I could hope for is he'd get through this to live a long life.

I think my attachment to Michael is partly because he reminds me so much of my Masen. Then there is the way he lights up when he sees someone enter his room. Or how he comforts his mother when she's crying. He's a great kid and deserves so much more then what he's given.

I don't know how I would have handled if something happened to Masen like this. He was all I had; the only thing I really lived for.

I was brought out of my thoughts with the shuffling of feet. I looked up to see my son.

"Why are you standing in the dark, Ma?" He questioned flipping on a light. Masen rubbed his eyes at the sudden brightness. "Something wrong?" His face fell at the sight of my expression.

"Michael's getting worse." I sighed finally leaning down to take off my tennis shoes.

"What do you mean getting worse?" My sons voice dropped. I had brought Masen in over the years to meet Michael and to sometimes keep him company. Michael had come to adore my boy. Masen had grown an attachment to the child as well.

"He's probably not going to be able to go home for a couple of weeks." I stood straight up.

"Can I go visit him tomorrow?" I looked over at Masen again. His lips were drawn into a frown. I saw the sadness in his eyes.

"He'd like that." I smiled knowing it would give his mother some time to leave his side as well.

"I'll go right after school." He promised.

"You know, you're a great kid Masen." I grinned.

"I owe that to you." He let out a laugh that reminded me so much of his father.

At first it was difficult to look at Masen. Everything he did just reminded me of Edward. The way he smiled. His laugh. The way he said certain words. Even as a little boy with his strange bronze hair. Oh, and those piercing green eyes. To say he was the spitting image of his father just wasn't enough. He looked nothing like me, although Alice said he did have my nose.

I studied his nose. Nope, still didn't see it.

"How was your night with Jake?" I asked finally moving from my spot in front of the door. He followed me towards the kitchen.

"It was alright. He's not that good of a cook." My son snorted. "Uncle Jasper cooks better then he does."

"They really don't know how to cook, do they?" I laughed remembering the numerous times I had tried both of their different dishes to only spit them out when they weren't looking.

"No, not really." He shook his head. "He asked about you, you know." My son snuck in.

"Of course he did." I just rolled my eyes walking over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"I told him that Edward's back in town. He got really tense about that." I bit my lip not sure if I should tell Masen about my run in with his father earlier in the day.

"He never really liked your father, even in high school." I told him instead of relaying the events of earlier.

"Yeah, he told me about that."

I had never had an interest in Jacob in high school. He was a friend of mine but he talked so terribly about Edward that I just couldn't handle being around him at times. You'd think as a friend he would have supported my relationship.

"Oh well, that was in the past." I forced a smile.

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm going back to bed."

"I'm not working tomorrow so you won't have to endure terrible food." I softly laughed.

"Thank God."

"Night kid." I said walking over and kissing his forehead. It was getting to be difficult since he was a head taller then me.

"Night."

I took a deep breath after Masen walked out of the kitchen. I looked around before turning off the lights in my small home before retreating upstairs.

Just as I was about to crawl into be and give myself into sleep my phone rang. I groaned picking it up.

_Alice_.

"It's late." I huffed.

"_I know, I know but I just wanted to see how your day went. I heard about your run in with Edward earlier." _I wondered how she could know this without me telling her? "_Edward came over for dinner." _

"Good thing Masen went to Jacob's then." Was all I said not wanting to get into a conversation about what happened with Edward earlier. "Alice, I'm beat can we talk about this tomorrow? I have off you can stop by whenever."

"_Of course, I just wanted to make sure you were okay_." She sounded really worried.

"I'm fine, really Alice." I tried to sound fine, but my voice disobeyed me.

"_You're not fine but I can wait until tomorrow to talk about that." _

Suddenly I felt curious as to what Edward had said about me.

"Yeah, tomorrow." I said nodding like she could see me through the phone. I heard her sigh and then she said her goodbyes. I knew she wanted to say more, to pry but even Alice knew when to let something go. At least for a little bit anyway.

After clicking the end button on my phone I was finally able to get into bed and shut my eyes.

Tonight I didn't fight sleep; instead I dreamt. My dreams were just as visual as they had always been.

Especially when it came to Edward.

And tonight was no different.

* * *

"I know you want to tell me what he said about me." I looked at Alice as soon as she walked in my front door without knocking, just like usual. She grinned widely before practically skipping to the couch where I was sitting sipping at my coffee.

"Okay, so I saw him in the super market earlier. He said that he had just come from the police station visiting Emmett. I asked if he saw your Dad. He said no but that he saw you. I then invite him to dinner to get more on this meeting. I knew you were working late and that Masen would be at Jacob's instead of my house." She said all in one breath. I just watched her as she spoke. "At dinner I asked how his meeting with you went. Of course Jasper told me not to pry but really would I listen?"

"Of course not." I snorted which earned a glare from her.

"Anyway," She huffed and then went on with her story. "He ended up not saying much about it. He got real shy suddenly and changed the subject. Honestly, Bella, it was pathetic. Now, since he didn't give me anything on this meeting I think it's time you did." She placed her hand excitedly on my knee.

"So, nothing?" I asked.

"He said you looked good, that you hadn't changed one bit." I don't know why I blushed then but I did.

"Oh."

"Yeah, so story. Come on I don't have all day." She urged removing her hand.

"It wasn't anything really." I rolled my eyes but went on. "I fell and of course he noticed. We barely spoke much, but I did meet Alexa."

Alice ended up pouting at not giving her enough details.

"Really, Alice it was nothing."

"Fine, if nothing means you're both still in love with each other." She sat back on the couch.

"It's been too long, Alice. Plus, I've kept something from him. Even if I still loved Edward and he still loved me it's not like it could work. Then there's the fact that he left, like I didn't mean anything to him. He meant everything to me." I looked down into my coffee cup. "It was hard after he left. You should know that better then anyone."

* * *

I shifted from one foot to another as I stirred the sauce in the pot. Alice had apologized for bringing everything back to the surface but I know with Edward being back in Forks, all of that is inevitable.

I heard the front door slam shut. I turned around to look at my son.

He looked rather upset.

"Masen…" I started but his expression made me stop.

"I look just like him but he looked me right in the eye and didn't even acknowledge that I'm him son."

Oh no.

"He was with Uncle Emmett visiting Aunt Rosalie." Was all he said before turning around and walking away from me. I went to follow but he turned back around. "Don't bother mom, I just really want to be alone right now."

I stepped back.

I wanted to make this all better but I knew I couldn't. Nothing I would say to him would work.

Instead I shut off the stove and grabbed my coat.

I wrote Masen a quick note.

It was time I faced what I had done all those years ago. It was time my secret came out, even though I knew it would break me. Possibly even break my relationship with my son, but deep down I knew I had to do this.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again i'd like to thank you all! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 4

It was pouring down rain by the time I stood in front of Edwards house.

I had been so set on getting over to his house that I hadn't even thought about what I would say to him. Now, I was standing there just staring at the front door. I suddenly felt like I could keep Masen a secret for longer.

He hadn't even noticed that Masen looked like him. Maybe he never would. We could live in the same town and he'd just look at my son as if he were any other kid.

Not his kid.

Yeah, I could do that. But then there's the fact that I know my son wants Edward to know about him.

So, I stepped forward and with my eyes closed I knocked on the door. I wanted to run but before I could turn around he was already at the door looking very confused.

"Bella?" His voice sent shivers through my already freezing body. "What are you doing here?"

"I…I need to talk to you." I stuttered out. My teeth were chattering by this point. I wasn't sure if it was my nerves or because I was cold.

"Get out of the rain." He went to reach for my arm but I pulled back so he wouldn't touch me. I wasn't sure I could handle that. I just shut my eyes and shook my head.

"No, if I go in there I'll chicken out."

"What are you talking about? You're going to catch pneumonia, Bella." He tried to get me to come inside again.

"You met Masen today." It was now or never. I went to say more but I heard yelling behind Edward. Then I saw a naked little girl running down the hall towards Edward. A teenager was chasing after her with a towel in her hands. I realized the little girl that Edward had now picked up was Alexa.

Edward let out a chuckle taking the towel from the teenager and wrapping it around the baby.

"Are you being a handful to Lane?" He rubbed Alexa's head with the towel.

"Mr. Cullen, I tried catching her. I put her down for two seconds and she ran right out the door." She nervously told him.

I watched all of this from my spot on his front porch. I was still standing in the rain; I was still freezing.

"On second thought I'm just going to leave." I went to turn around.

"Come inside, Bella." He said and it was like I had to listen to what he said. I wanted to say no. I really did but I just nodded.

Edward gave me a warm smile as I stepped past him and into the house. He told the teenager, Lane, to go get me a towel and some dry clothes from the laundry room.

Oh, no. I couldn't put on whatever the girl would give me. Most likely it would be Edwards clothes. No, I didn't need to smell him even more then I already could.

"You don't have to." I tried to protest but Lane was already out of the room. "Really, Edward I need to get home."

"I'll put Alexa to bed." Lane entered the room again with the towel and clothes. Edward just nodded and handed over his daughter before kissing her on the forehead.

I couldn't watch his exchange with the baby. It hurt for some reason. Seeing him happy having her in his life.

"The bathroom is down the hall." He pointed after Lane had walked up the stairs with Alexa.

I nodded and found the bathroom quickly. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. This wasn't how this was supposed to be happening.

I was supposed to just tell him. Rip the band aid right off. Then he was supposed to get angry with me. Then I'd try to explain. He wouldn't hear it, then I'd leave upset.

No, instead I came inside. Instead I'm putting on his clothes that were two sizes too big for me. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was drenched. I looked tired.

When I walked out of the bathroom I heard the TV going. I walked towards the sound seeing Edward lounging back on the couch watching the screen.

My breath caught in my throat. The sight before me was amazing.

I had to shake away any thoughts of jumping him right then and there.

No, he had left me alone sixteen years ago.

"What are you doing back here, Edward?" I wasn't sure why I had to ask it but I ended up just blurting it out. I needed reasons. Why now, why not four years after he left for college like he promised?

He sat up and ran his hand through his hair.

"I wanted to raise Alexa somewhere nice." He shrugged.

"There are plenty of nice places across the US." I said not moving from my spot.

"True, but none of them are Forks."

"You left. Sixteen years ago you left me. You told me you would be back once college was finished. You never came back, Edward." I shook my head closing my eyes. I really knew I shouldn't break down in front of him but we needed this talk. He needed to know he couldn't just come back here and everything would be okay.

Even though I was the one standing in _his_ living room right now.

"You changed your numbers! How was I supposed to know you wanted me to come back? I called around to see how you were. No one would tell me anything! How was I supposed to know you hadn't moved on?" His voice raised.

"You just were, Edward." I sighed running a hand through my damp hair.

"I can't read minds, Bella." He huffed and sat back down.

"Maybe not, but you knew me. You knew I would wait for you. I promised." I whispered out my voice breaking and betraying me.

"Promises get broken all of the time." He shot at me.

"Obviously."

"What are you doing here, Bella? Did you come over to pick a fight?" He looked upset. Like I was ripping his heart out of his chest.

"I didn't." I shook my head. I should tell him right now. Tell him that the boy he met today at the hospital is his son. That Masen Anthony Swan was all his.

"Then what?"

"His name is Masen." I shut my eyes. It was now or never.

"Who's?" He looked real confused when I opened my eyes.

I went to say something else but I heard feet behind me. Lane was coming down the stairs.

"Alexa's in bed, Mr. Cullen." She was pulling on her jacket.

"Thanks, Lane. I appreciate you watching her."

"No problem, see you later." She waved nervously giving me a slight smile. "Wait, aren't you Masen Swan's mom?" She stopped from walking.

There it was. My stomach dropped.

"I am." I nodded gulping giving her a week smile.

"He's in my English class." She smiled blushing. "It was nice to meet you." She waved again and walked out the door.

"Masen?" Edward's face fell when I looked back over at him.

"Masen Anthony Swan. He's sixteen, you met him today." I took a deep breath.

"Wait, what?" He ran his hand through his hair again.

"Bronze hair, green eyes." I said. "Looks just like you." I suddenly got a little confident.

"What?" I had never seen Edward like this. Not in the years we had been together. Maybe this was something new he'd acquired over the last sixteen years.

He was usually so confident and sure of everything.

"Your son." I watched his face. His look of confusion quickly turned to anger. "I'm sorry."

"You should go, Bella." He didn't stand up. Instead just pointing at the front door.

"Let me explain." I tried but he just shook his head.

"Leave." His voice was cold and hard.

"Whatever you do, don't blame him." I said before slipping out the front door and back into the freezing rain.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Masen demanded as I walked into the front door soaked again. "You didn't take your phone with you."

"I talked to him. You're no longer a secret, Masen." I said walking towards the downstairs bathroom.

"What do you mean?" He asked following me.

"Exactly what I said." I said grabbing a towel and running it through my hair trying to dry myself some how. I looked down. I needed to get out of Edward's clothes. I needed to rid of his smell.

"Mom…"

"You don't deserve to be a secret, Masen. You deserve so much more then that. He's your father and he should know about you, now he does."

"You didn't have to…" He started but of course I interrupted.

"Yes, I did." I gave him a small smile. He just nodded. "I'll order some pizza." I said.

"I'll do it." He said and left me alone. I shut the door and sat down on the closed toilet. I let my head drop into my hands before I let myself cry.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Friday night dinner hadn't been so bad. Our conversations were mostly kept to small talk. I didn't mind that at all.

Masen had brought Seth over for dinner but I didn't mind so much. I had already expected that he'd be with Masen since it was the start of the weekend after all. Sue had come a little late but it hadn't been so bad. I was strangely nervous, it was as if I was meeting her for the first time. Even though I've known her my entire life.

Once everyone had left I sunk into my sofa. Masen and Seth had gone over to Masen's girlfriends house. I would much rather them over there then the snotty girl at my house.

I decided to call Alice. I hadn't talked to her since I had called her to get directions to Edward's house. I was surprised she hadn't called by now to find out what happened with that.

"_Finally." _My dark haired best friend huffed into the phone.

"Jeeze, I don't even get a hello anymore." I laughed.

"_Not when you call me for directions to your ex-boyfriends slash father of your son's house. Then not even tell me why you needed to go over there or call me afterwards to tell me what happened."_

"I just figured you would call me first." I shrugged as if she could see me.

"_I figured you'd call when you were ready to talk about it. You sounded distraught on the phone." _

"I told Edward about Masen." I shut my eyes waiting for yells on the other end of the line. But, I didn't hear anything all I got was a 'wow' and then silence. "Say something."

"_I'm coming over." She said and hung up. I sighed and leaned back into the sofa._

Alice was at my front door not fifteen minutes later with two tubs of ice cream. Rocky Road for me and Chocolate chip cookie dough for herself. I smiled, she really knew me far too well.

"I figured we'd need these." She laughed as I rushed to the kitchen to grab two spoons. I returned to find her already sitting on the sofa flipping through channels on my TV. I was surprised she didn't press for information about my talk with Edward.

I then decided to just tell her what happened. I ended up taking the next hour to explain a thirty minute visit to his house. Alice hadn't interrupted much, only when I got to the part that Edward made me leave his house did she get angry.

"That bastard." She growled.

"I expected as much. I mean after sixteen years of not speaking I show up at his house to tell him he has a sixteen year old son." I shrug. "How would you have reacted? I'm sure I wouldn't have been too happy either."

"Does Masen know that you told Edward?" She asked. I nodded. "How'd he take it?"

"He hasn't really said much about it." I sighed looking away from her.

"Oh. I think you should speak to him. This is basically a really big deal. Wait, what happens now? Edward knows. Is he going to be in Masen's life? Is he going to help you out? Is he even going to speak to you again?" She questioned all in a hurry. I just looked at her. I didn't have any answers to those questions.

"I have no idea."

"Don't you think you should talk to him?" She urged.

"Yeah, like I'm going back over there." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever happens next with him and Masen then that's his business. I'm not going to stop him if he wants to get to know his son."

Deep down I wanted the two of them to know each other. I wanted my son to know that even though he's spent the last sixteen years without a father he does have one. I also need him to know that he shouldn't hold a grudge against Edward. It wasn't Edward's fault that he didn't know him.

I wondered if Edward would ever forgive me. I know I sure wouldn't forgive me. Not with something like this.

As I was about to say something else to Alice there was a knock at the front door.

I wasn't sure who it could have been. I groaned thinking that it could possibly be Jacob. I really wasn't in the mood for that man.

"Please don't be Jacob." I mumbled. Alice must have heard since she giggled. I shut my eyes before reaching for the door knob. Who ever it was wasn't very patient since they kept ringing the door bell.

"You would think you'd get to the door quicker. I mean after all you're skinny and not pregnant." Rosalie scowled at me as she kept her right on her large stomach. I swear she looked like she was having twins.

"Thank God." I laughed opening the door wider so she could step through. "Where's Katherine and Emmett?" I questioned walking towards my living room. Alice was sitting on the couch flipping through channels again. She looked up and grinned when she saw Rosalie walk into the room. The two of them had become friends not long after I had met Rosalie.

"I left them at home." She said with a wave of her hand before she walked over and sat down next to Alice. "So, what's the latest?" She asked taking the bag of pretzels Alice was holding and stuffing a few into her mouth. I sure didn't miss that part of being pregnant. Or any part actually.

"Edward's back in town. He knows about Masen and he kicked Bells out of his house." Alice told Rosalie quickly.

"Why's he in town?" Rose asked.

"Wanted to raise his daughter here." I shrugged.

"Wait, his daughter?" She looked between the both of us.

"Alexa." I said sitting on the other side of Rosalie. "She's thirteen months and looks a lot like Masen did as a baby." I sighed sadly.

"Where's the mother?" She asked. I just shrugged and looked at Alice. She knew much more then I did about that.

"She wasn't ready for a kid." Alice said simply then went on. "Her name is Tanya and she was a one night stand. Eight months later she showed up pregnant. She said she didn't want the baby and asked Edward if he wanted her. He said yeah, so when she had Alexa she gave up all her rights."

I took a deep breath. What kind of mother could do such a thing? Then again some women just weren't cut out to be a mom. I guess I was. It's been the best experience of my life.

"See, I could never do that." Rosalie spoke up.

"Me either." Alice and I both said at the same time. Then we looked at each other and just burst out laughing.

I loved that I had these two in my life. They've brought me out of terrible places.

Like two years ago when my Mom died of cancer. I don't talk about it much, if at all. It's not something I like to think about. We had an amazing relationship before she passed away. She loved Masen with all her heart.

It was hard for Masen as well. It left a huge hole in the both of our hearts.

Rose and Alice seemed to help me out the most. Masen wasn't doing much better then I was at that time. It was possibly the worst year of our lives. But we managed, together.

"What are you going to do now, Bella?" Rosalie brought me out of my thoughts.

"No idea. I doubt I'll do anything." I shrug.

"You need to do something." Alice glared at me.

"Like I already told you Alice. The ball is in Edwards court now." Just as I finished that sentence my doorbell rang again.

It could only be one person. Jacob Black. Charlie and Masen would both just walk in.

"It sure is a busy night." I said tiredly. I quickly decided that if it was Jacob then I would tell him that I was having a night with the girls. No guys allowed unless their name was Masen and they were going right to their bedroom.

I turned the door knob. What I saw next was sure not what I was expecting.

"What…what are you doing here?" I stumbled on my words a bit. There was no way he was here. No possible freaking way.

But here he was. Beautiful as ever with his gorgeous little girl in his arms. She appeared to be sleeping. It was an amazing sight to see. I started to imagine how he would have looked holding Masen as a child.

"Jasper told me where you lived." He wouldn't look me the eye. That was really bothering me. I wanted to stare into those green eyes, but he wouldn't allow it.

"Why would he do that?" I said making a mental note to chew Jasper out later.

"He owed me." He shrugged. "Can I come in?"

"Well, Alice and Rosalie are here…" But just as I said that the both of them met me at the door.

"We're leaving." Alice smiled then gave me a hug. "Good luck." She whispered in my ear. I grabbed her arm.

"I can't believe you're leaving me." I whispered back. She just smirked and pulled away from me giving me a wave. Rosalie followed behind her whispering the same good luck in my ear.

"You can come in now." I said after they left.

"Is there anywhere…" He motioned towards Alexa.

"Oh yeah, she can lay down in my bed." I sighed wishing he wouldn't want to talk. I hoped he'd just decide to leave. I didn't know if I could handle being around him.

After he laid Alexa in my bed we walked towards the living room. I heard the front door open and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Masen's home." I whispered a little horrified. I didn't know what would happen.

"Bella, how do you spell his name?" He gulped from behind me.

"M-A-S-E-N" I said shutting my eyes before taking a deep breath and walking quickly through the hall.

Masen and Seth were already on the sofa engaged in a video game. Neither of them had even noticed that we entered the room.

"Masen…" I was terrified and I knew everyone could hear it in my voice.

"Hey, Mo-" He stopped when he noticed that his father was standing behind me. I shut my eyes again for the millionth time. "Oh, I…uh…"

"Maybe I should go." Edward sounded nervous when he spoke up.

"No!" Masen said that awfully quickly. "I mean you don't have to leave." He slowed down his voice.

"I was just coming by to talk to Bella…" I turned around to see Edward run his hand through his amazing hair.

"Then talk." I folded my arms across my chest. "Edward, if you don't want this then you don't have to do it. You don't have to be in our lives. We've managed without you for the past sixteen years." I looked at him sympathetically. I wasn't sure if he was ready for this. Sure, he had Alexa but she was so young. Masen was a full grown teenage boy.

"Bella…" He finally looked me in the eye. I could feel my knees buckle. How is it possible that this guy could be away from me for so long but still evoke my old feelings of love for him.

"She's right." Masen said from behind me. I turned around then to look at him.

"You're my son." Edward spoke out. A shiver ran through my body for some reason. It was as if he was realizing it for the first time.

"Obviously." I snorted.

"Here I thought Alexa was my only child."

"Wait, Alexa?" Masen looked at me.

"She's Edward's thirteen month old."

"I have a sister?" Masen's eyes brightened a little. He had always wanted siblings.

I asked him on his eighth birthday what he wished for when he blew out his candles and he simply said a brother or sister.

I'd thought about more kids but I didn't want to do it without someone by my side hat time around. I'd already done it mostly alone and I couldn't do it alone again.

I gave him a sad smile.

"Can I meet her?" He asked standing up and turning off the video game. Seth stood up too and said he was going to bed.

"She's sleeping, Mase." I told him.

"I can wake her up." Edward said from behind me. I turned back around to see him already heading towards my room. Masen quickly followed him and I wasn't too far behind them both.

"Lex." Edward shook her. Alexa popped her eyes opened and gave Edward a sleepy grin. "I want you to meet someone." He scooped her up into his arms, practically making me swoon. "This is Masen."

Why was I so nervous for Masen meeting Alexa. They were siblings after all. They should know each other.

"Masen?" She looked at Edward at them at my son. She reached for Masen.

"Hi." Masen whispered taking her from Edward. She giggled then laid her head down on his shoulder. I started to imagine what it would be like once Masen was a father. Hopefully I wouldn't have to know how it would be for a very very long time. I wasn't ready for that. Nor did I want Masen to go through what I had.

"She's beautiful." I smiled over at Edward. He didn't look at me.

"Can you watch her while I talk to Bella?" He asked Masen. "I'm sure if you put her in the bed she'll go right back to sleep." Masen nodded and Edward grabbed my arm.

I wasn't ready for this talk. Nope, not at all.


	6. Chapter 6

So; this is up sooner then I thought. I just might update again tonight if i'm feeling up to it. :) reviews help that! Thanks everyone who has reviewed this story!

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Chapter 6

We walked to the living room in silence. I was more then nervous by that point.

"Why'd you do it?" He turned to me the second we reached the living room and far enough away that Masen wouldn't hear us.

"You were in New York. I didn't want you to give that up." I shrugged not wanting to look at him. So I looked away instead.

"I would have done anything for you." He let out. I sighed and nodded my head. I knew that. "Masen too."

"I knew that. Which is why I made the choice in keeping him a secret. You would have moved back here to be with us and regretted not finishing up college or maybe you would have left us anyway, I don't know Edward. I was so young…"

"I would have never…"

"Edward, I did what I did. There's no excuse for it, I know that. Can we just leave it at that? If you want to be in Masen's life then by all means be in his life but that doesn't mean you have to be in mine." I said finally looking at him with confidence.

"If I'm in his life it's inevitable that I'll be in yours."

"It's your choice." I whispered looking down at my feet.

"Look at me, Bella." He said it sternly. I couldn't help but look up at him. "I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for this but I understand you thought you did the right thing. I disagree but we can't turn back the past. If I'm in Masen's life then I want to be a part of yours. As a friend."

Friends. Yeah, maybe I could do that.

I nodded my head at him.

"Why didn't you come back for me?" I then asked.

"I thought you moved on." He kept his eyes directly on me. "I already told you that."

"I can't believe you'd think that. Really, Edward." I put my hands on my hips. My Mom stance as Alice called it.

"What about Jacob Black?" He asked coldly.

"We didn't do anything until ten years passed. " I told him. I really didn't know why I had to explain this to him. I mean after all he had moved on. With his one night stand and all. I highly doubt the guy was celibate through the years of us not being together. "What about Tanya?"

"Alexa's mom" He adverted his eyes away from me then.

"See, you can't accuse me of moving on. Obviously you moved on too." I rolled my eyes.

"You're right." He nodded.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him that I hadn't moved on. That I only kept Jacob around because I was lonely. I wanted him to know I would have waited on him forever.

But he didn't need to know that.

Because he moved on and there was no way that he had any feelings for me right now.

Especially after learning about Masen.

"I should go now."

"You can say bye to Masen. I'm sure he's still up there with Alexa. He's always wanted a sister." I ran my hand through my hair.

"Oh. I really want to get to know him. I can't believe I hadn't noticed how much he looked like me when I met him at the hospital."

"He couldn't believe it either." I smiled.

"Yeah, well I'm going to get Lex." He said turning and walking back towards my room.

I slumped down on the sofa after he left the room.

Masen came down the stairs with Edward behind him. .

"Goodnight, Alexa." I smiled.

"Bye-bye." She waved excitedly. I laughed.

"She's wide awake now." I said to Edward.

"Unfortunately." He sounded tired. "I'll see you around, Bella."

I gave him a small wave as he left my house.

Maybe that talk wasn't as bad as I had anticipated.

"Can we talk, Mase?" I thought maybe after my talk with Edward that having a talk with Masen would be a good idea.

"Uh, sure." He ran his hand through his hair just like his father did. I smiled at that.

"Well, uhm how was school?" I decided to start out with something small. I don't know why I felt nervous talking to my own son. I mean I've always been able to talk to Masen and vice versa.

"Is that really what you want to talk about?" He rolled his eyes shifting from one foot to another.

"Answer the question, Masen. I'm your mother. I just want to know how you're doing." I said calmly. He just sighed and walked over to sit down next to me.

"School was school, nothing interesting to say about it really." He shrugs but goes on. "Now that's over can you just cut to the chase."

"He left me. He told me after four years he would return to me and we'd be together. I'd finish up college and he'd find somewhere to go to graduate school. Then we'd come back to Forks and start our life together. Two weeks after he left I found out I was pregnant. I decided to not tell him and told everyone else not to say anything to him. I guess that worked because he didn't even have a single clue." I stopped to take a deep breath. Masen was just watching me with interest. I never really told him the whole story. He knew bits and pieces but that was about it. "I thought that maybe after four years he'd come back and then I'd introduce the two of you. I figured that he wouldn't be so angry about that with you still being so young. But the years passed. Four years turned into ten and then the next thing I know ten turns into sixteen."

"That's still not an excuse, Mom…" I started to wonder if Masen resented the life I had given him. If it wasn't enough for him. Even after everything I'd done for him. Maybe Tanya had the right idea, but what would I have done without my son? Would he resent his life if he had been with Edward and not me. Would things have been easier for all of us.

Probably not. I'd be a total wreck wanting to be with my son. I had gotten far too attached to him when he was in the womb.

Maybe Tanya could easily give up Alexa because she hadn't gotten close to her daughter. Even after carrying her for nine long months.

"I know, but it's the only one I have for you." I look away. I was feeling hurt.

"I'm sorry that I'm acting like I don't appreciate everything you've done for me Mom. I do. You're the woman who raised me and I'll always love you for that. It's just…knowing I have a father out there who didn't know about me…and then finding out I have a little sister. It just…it hurts. Especially how Edward looked at me and had no freaking clue I was his kid."

I gave him a sad smile as I placed my hand on his knee.

"He's a good guy, Masen."

"He seems like it. I know I want to get to know him it's just that I've lasted this long without him…I don't know if I'll be able to get used to the idea that I actually have a dad." He said to me.

"Give it time, kid."

"Does he even want to be in my life?" Masen looked at me hopefully.

"He does. You're his son even if he didn't know before now. You're still a part of him."

I realized a long time ago that it was easy for me to be without Edward because I had a part of him. A little bit left. My son. Our son.

"So, my last name would be…?" He quirked his eyebrow.

"Cullen. Did I ever tell you how I got your name?" I smiled and he shook his head.

"Masen is Edward's actual last name. The one he was born with. He was adopted by the Cullen's when he was still a baby since his is parents died in a car accident. Esme and Carlisle were really close friends of the Masen's so they took your father in. They raised him as their own and he added Cullen on to his last name. I knew when you were born that you'd be a Swan even if you were a Masen-Cullen through and through." I smile wrapping my arm around his shoulder and bringing him close to me. "So, I figured that the name fit you perfectly. And Anthony is Edward's middle name."

"I always wondered why it was spelled with an e and not an o."

"You're just special." I smiled happy that I had my son sitting next to me.

"Of course I am, I am your son after all." He laughed making me giggle. "Is Edward married or anything? I mean who's Alexa's mom?" He asked me after we had both stopped laughing.

"No, he's not. I guess you could say he's raising Alexa on his own just like I raised you."

"So, the woman just left?"

"As far as I know." I shrugged.

"Thanks for not leaving me, Mom." He said kissing my cheek and standing up. I swear I felt tears in the corner of my eyes at that moment. "Night Mom."

"Night, kid." I said watching him exit the room.

I knew I would have to call Alice and Rosalie both in the morning to tell them what happened but for now I was going to bed.

My long and tiring day finally seemed to be over.


	7. Chapter 7

So; i hope i did this justice. i'm more then nervous about this chapter! review; please? :) they are to me like crack is to an addict.

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EdwardPOV

Chapter 7

I was in another state of mind when I walked out the door of Bella's home. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I was just getting used to the idea of having Alexa in my life. Now here I was sixteen years after I had last seen my ex-girlfriend and I find out we have a sixteen year old son.

He looks a lot like me. If you didn't know Bella then you'd think he was my spitting image. Except he had her nose.

My heart couldn't handle seeing Bella long. I missed her every second of every day.

I still loved her and I knew this when I saw her the other day at the police station.

I had just made it seem like I was over her. Obviously she was over me. She had Jacob Black now.

Then there was the fact I had a sixteen year old. He was almost grown, he didn't need me. Bella seemed to have done a fine job raising him. He seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders.

I'm still shocked that I have a son and that Bella kept him from me.

She could have written me. Emailed me. Given me a call. She could have let Jasper tell me. Anything other then finding out all these years later.

She still smelled the same. She was still her beautiful clumsy self. Nothing seemed to change except for the love she showed for her son. Our son. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that.

I want her to tell me how she made it through all of these years alone. Did she have help? Did her parents disown her?

Then I wanted to know about her relationship with Jacob. If they were just friends or more then friends.

I wanted to know what she did for a living.

God, it seemed like I wanted to know everything about her. The person she was now. I knew the person she used to be. I needed to know about this older Bella. The mother Bella.

Sixteen years ago I left the old Bella. I left her pregnant and alone. But, she wouldn't have been alone if she had just told me about our son.

College was miserable for me. She changed her phone numbers. Everyone I talked to refused to tell me anything. My parents hadn't stayed in Forks after I left so the only reason I would have ever gone back was for Bella. I thought maybe I was too late. Maybe I wasn't. I could have gone back to her.

She would have taken me back.

We would have had a son together.

Now, Too much time has passed for us to ever be able to get past all of that. She didn't love me anymore.

I ran my hand through my hair after placing Alexa in her crib. I watched as my daughter closed her beautiful eyes.

It's been a ride having Alexa.

Alexandra Elizabeth Cullen had become my life the moment I looked into her eyes. I hadn't been sure at first. I had been alone for so long. I never thought I'd find the girl for me. Besides Bella, but when Alexa came into my life I found the girl for me. My little girl.

Having Alexa on my own had been difficult at first.

I wonder if it was that difficult for Bella with Masen.

Masen. I was surprised to learn how she spelt his name. I hadn't expected that. I remember feeling upset that he didn't have my last name. If he was my son then I just figured Bella would have given him the last name of Cullen.

Meeting him was weird.

But at the same time it felt right. It felt like I belonged in their lives.

I needed to belong with them.

Even if it was just as Masen's father and Bella's friend. I could do that.

I could be a friend, or at least I would try.

Nothing more would happen.

But I couldn't help wishing that something more would happen. I should be more mad at her for this. I shouldn't want to speak to her or be around her but right now I'm feeling the opposite. I want to touch her. Hold her. Kiss her. Be with her.

I want her to help me raise Alexa. I want to get to know Masen like I had known him his entire life.

"Dada?" Alexa popped open her green eyes. I could have sworn she had been sleeping.

She looked a lot like her mother but on the other hand she looked more like me.

"Hey, baby." I leaned over her crib. She reached her small hand out and touched my cheek. I watched as her eyes drooped closed again and then her hand fell from my face. She must have felt me watching her.

I smiled and smoothed back her light curls. Her hair was much lighter then mine but darker then her mothers. I guess you could say it was a mix between the two of us.

I shut her light off as I left her room. I heard a knock at the door and hoped it wouldn't wake her up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened the door to the guy who had been my best friend in high school.

"Rose said you were at Bella's earlier. Figured you'd be home by now." He walked past me before I could invite him in.

"Yeah." I shut the door.

"I didn't know he'd be at the hospital that day. Rosalie told me Bella was off so…" He started but I interrupted.

"She works at the hospital?"

"Yeah, she's worked there for about ten years as a nurse in pediatrics. That's how she met Rose." He told me sitting down on my couch.

So that's how she made a living. I couldn't help but smile and try to picture Bella as a nurse. Not the first career that came to mind for her. Blood had never been something she could handle.

"Sorry for not telling you, man. Rose would have killed me and Bells has always been like a sister to me."

"It's fine." I said walking around and sitting on the couch with him.

It was Jasper that I figured would have told me. He was family even if I had been adopted by his aunt and uncle.

"I just wanted you to know that. I better get home, it's getting late and Rosalie refuses to sleep without me there…something to do with her hormones. I can never understand the woman. Be glad you didn't have to go through that with either of those women…" I think he caught on to what he said before he gave me a sympathetic look. I would have loved to know what that was like. To know all of the feelings my baby evoked in her. "I'll see you later." He waved before stepping out of the house.

I retreated to my bedroom to only have to go and open the front door again.

She had tears in her eyes. She looked like she had something to tell me. I noticed that once again it was raining and once again she was the one soaking wet at my front door. Seemed a little like déjà vu.

"Bella…?"

"I can't be your friend, Edward." Was what she said to me. She did exactly as Emmett had done and stepped right into my house. I turned around to look at her.

"You should invest in an umbrella." I can't believe I'd say something so stupid.

"I have tons. Masen gets me one every year but I never use them." She throws up her hands.

"Do you need…?" I started.

"No, I just have one thing to say to you." She said and before I knew it she had her legs wrapped around my waist and I was getting soaked. "I've missed you." She broke apart from our kiss.

I didn't want to speak. I just wanted to keep kissing her. This was probably wrong but she was here in my arms and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to let her go.

"Let's get these wet clothes off of you." I broke away from the kiss that I wanted to last for ever.

"Yeah, you're right. We should get you out of yours too." Her voice had turned husky and I couldn't help but hear the desire for me in it.

"Good idea." But in the back of my head it was telling me it was a bad idea. A very bad one. One that I could possibly regret or she could regret.

No, I wouldn't regret this but I knew she might.

"My room or…" I started but she interrupted.

"I don't think we'll make it." She started to kiss down my neck. She was right. We probably wouldn't. Not with the way things were going right now.

God, I wanted this for so long.

I would have had this sooner if I had just come back when I promised I would.


	8. Chapter 8

If you want to give me some suggestions for more questions Bella should ask Edward or Edward should ask Bella then go for it. If you review this chapter then i'll send you a reply with a question pertaining to the furture chapters!

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Chapter 8

Oh, God. No, no, no! I didn't do this. I couldn't have.

No!

But I did. I woke up with the sun shinning in my face. I was in a strange bed. A bed that wasn't mine.

A bed that held another sleeping person.

I knew who it was. I had after all been the one to initiate everything. I was the one who came by. I had the plan.

Everything was coming back to me.

It felt just like it had all those years ago. I felt alive again. Or I did the night before.

Right now I was just feeling shitty for what I had done.

Edward hadn't stopped me so I knew he must have wanted it too or maybe it was just heat of the moment.

I told him the night before that I couldn't be his friend.

I needed more then that. I wanted more then that.

I knew that it was a possibility he would turn me down but I was feeling brave and I needed to take that chance.

I felt hands on my back. They were soft and felt amazing against my skin. I had moaned at the feeling.

I quickly turned around to see a smiling Edward. He was just as naked as I was underneath the sheet. He reached out and pulled me close to him by my waist. Maybe he didn't regret the night before. He might have wanted it just as much as I had.

But there was so much between us. So many things needed to be discussed. We might fit together sexually but could we fit together outside of the bed? We used to be able to but both of us were bound to have changed over the years.

He nuzzled his face into my neck and then I felt his warm breath as he spoke. "I never want to leave."

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Then I realized that I had stayed the night and my sixteen year old was probably up and awake wondering where I was. I hadn't left a note the night before because even though I had it planned in my head I hadn't actually thought I would go through with it…but seeing Edward standing there, I couldn't not go through with my plan.

"I need to call Masen." I decided and pulled the sheet around my body. I laughed when I looked at Edward laying there naked. God, he was still as perfect as ever. I almost lost myself in him again but soon had to remind myself that I had responsibilities.

I hadn't lied to Masen. Although I didn't tell him that I had sex with his father, I just said that I had come over here to talk some more and I fell asleep on his couch. He didn't need to know anything more.

For one that would be just too much information to share with him. For two I didn't want to get his hopes up. Not like I had with Jacob.

Jacob. I had to end whatever was going on between the both of us. Even if Edward decided he didn't want to see me. I couldn't pull him along anymore. He deserved so much more. I would always love Jacob Black, just more as a friend.

"Was that Masen?" Edward was behind me. I nodded as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned back against his chest. "He knows you're here?"

"Yep." I let myself relax in his arms. This felt amazing. "We have so much to talk about, Edward. But right now I just want you to hold me. I want to live in the moment and somehow block out the world. We'll figure everything out soon enough." I turned around to face him. He smiled and kissed me on the tip of my nose.

"Lane can come by and get Alexa. We can spend the entire day in bed if you please."

"She wouldn't mind?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck causing the sheet to fall. Edward let his eyes sweep down my body. He licked his lips and smashed them into mine. I guess that was a no. "Call her, now."

"Will do, but first…" He lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I couldn't believe that I was actually in the arms of Edward Cullen after so many years.

This is where I belonged. I had always belonged here it just took a little while longer then I thought it would to be back here.

We were torn apart by Alexa's screams from upstairs. I just laughed and lowered myself from him.

"I'm going to take a shower. You call Lane, I'm sure Masen wouldn't mind if they went over to our place if she wants." I smiled grabbing the sheet and wrapping it around me again.

"Sounds good." He mumbled kissing my lips again. I almost asked him to join but I knew it would probably be a bad idea.

Once I was in the shower and the water was running down my body I got to thinking. Was this too quickly? Did I give in too fast? Was I supposed to hold out longer?

God, how was he not flaming mad at me for what I had done. How could he just let me back into his arms like nothing had happened, as if the past sixteen years hadn't happened. But being in Edward's arms it was as if they hadn't happened.

They did, and I knew that.

I'd deal with that later. Right now I was just going to live in the moment and let whatever happened next happen.

I walked downstairs fully clothed to see Lane bouncing Alexa on her hip. I smiled at the teenager.

"Oh, hi Ms. Swan." A blush crept across her cheek. I couldn't help but see myself in this girl.

"It's Bella, Lane. Did Edward tell you that you could go to my place?" I asked standing next to her. Edward wasn't in the room. I started to wonder where he could be.

"Yeah, he was just calling your house now." She pointed. I walked towards where she was standing to find Edward talking to Masen on the phone. I wasn't sure how he got my house number.

"Yeah, uhm bye kid." He hung up and I watched him run his hand through his hair. I wasn't sure why he looked so nervous. It was just a phone call.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled my face into his chest. He smelled amazing. Exactly the same as he had when we were dating as teenagers.

"I hope it's okay, I got the number from your cell phone." He said waving my phone.

"Of course. What'd he say?" I asked him.

"He was okay with her bringing Alexa over. Wanted to know why we needed to be alone all day."

"I swear sometimes that kid acts like my father." I rolled my eyes.

"He's just protecting you. Someone has to, especially since I haven't been around. For that I am more then sorry." She whispered and kissed the top of my head.

"Mr. Cullen, we're leaving now." Lane walked into the room. Alexa had somehow gotten out of her arms and was now running towards Edward.

"Okay." He picked Alexa up and kissed her small cheek. I smiled as she returned the kiss. It was so adorable to see the two of them together.

Lane walked over and took Alexa saying goodbye to the both of us. I swear I saw the girl wink at me.

I wished my son could date someone like her, not the girl he was currently with. Her name was Alyssa and she reminded me so much of Lauren Mallory from high school.

"That's the kind of girl Masen needs to be with." I said out loud.

"She's a life saver. She lives right next door and I hadn't lived here a day before she came by to ask if I needed her help." He tells me.

"Edward…" I looked into his eyes biting my lower lip.

"Yeah?" He looked nervous, probably thinking I was going to want to leave.

"I want to be in your life and Alexa's. But I'm scared. I'm scared that too much has happened…"

"Hey, I thought we weren't going to talk about this today." He put one of his hands on my cheek.

"You're right. Live in the moment." I sighed and gave him a smile.

"If you really want to talk, we can."

"No, not yet." I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Come on, I need a shower." He said picking me up. "And to think of it you smell a little." He scrunched up his nose. I had to laugh at that.

"I just took a shower…"

"Well, I think you need another one."

"You know, you might be right." I grinned.

There were so many things I should be saying to him instead right now. So many things we needed to talk about. I was probably getting in way over my head right now. But God he was a beautiful creature and so amazing.

* * *

"How about we play twenty questions." Edward suggest as I lay in his arms. He intertwined our fingers since our bodies were already that way.

"Okay, you first." I smiled.

"Alright, What'd your parents do when you told them you were pregnant?" I thought maybe he'd start out with an easy question.

"My dad wanted to kill you, and my Mom moved up here to help." I said looking away after I mentioned Renee. "My turn," I grinned happy that I got to change the subject. "How many women were you with after me?"

He coughed.

"With as in…?" He sounded nervous, I just giggled.

"As in how many you've dated." I rolled my eyes knowing he thought I was asking how many he had slept with.

"Five or six. Didn't really keep count. I was…different in New York, Bella. I wasn't really a one woman man." He tells me. "Now it's my turn." He seemed just as happy to change the subject as I had been. "Same question."

"Not fair." I pouted but answered the question anyway. "I didn't really date much. Never really had the time. Masen was the only boy I needed in my life. Then there was Jacob but our relationship was purely friends with benefits." I wasn't sure if he would have been okay with me saying that but I quickly asked him another question. "Where are your parents?"

"Chicago, Mom said there wasn't anything here for anymore." He said sounding a little down. I hoped it wasn't because of what I had just said. "Why weren't you anything more with Jacob?" I sighed sitting up and facing him.

"Never felt right. I'm not in love with him. I didn't feel that spark…" I look away then back at him. "What do you do for a living?"

"Magazine Editor. I work from home." He tells me. I just nod. "Emmett said you work at the hospital, how did that happen?" I was happy he asked me something that wasn't pertaining to my personal life with Jacob. Although I knew that I probably needed to tell him, I just wasn't ready to go into all of that.

"I don't know really. I just needed a job and it seemed like a good idea. I love working there, with the little kids and stuff." I smiled. "I know you're wondering how I got past all the blood. I just got used to it." Edward of all people knew how I was about blood. He should have seen me when I hemorrhaged after Masen was born. "I'm tired of all these questions, let's finish later." I smiled crawling up his body and planting a kiss on his lips.

"Yeah, later." He nodded and flipped me over so he was now on top.


	9. Chapter 9

I am terrible when it comes to dates or anything to do with numbers really so it's possible I got the years wrong in this chapter. Sorry if you see mistakes in that. Thank you to my reviewers and those on the alert list for this story!

Chapter 9

Seventeen years ago to the date I gave myself to Edward Cullen for the first time. Yes, I actually remembered the exact date, exact time and the exact location. I know that may seem a little strange but it was my first time and it was special to me.

I was only fifteen and he was seventeen but I knew I was ready. I didn't know that a year and a half later I'd be giving birth to our son, alone.

But giving myself to Edward felt like the only right thing to do. I wanted to be his first and I wanted him to be mine. I admit the first couple of times were more then awkward but over time things just fell into place.

Just like things fell into place for us right now. Last night we didn't have that awkward feeling like we had the first time we were together physically. Somehow it still brought me back to that first time. It was like I was having my second first time with Edward all over again. As crazy as that sounds…

Edward and I had started dating when I was fourteen and he was sixteen. I couldn't believe either of us had waited that long to have sex, but it was always there in the back of my mine. Just at fourteen I wasn't ready. But being fifteen felt like a totally different story.

I don't regret any of it. I most certainly don't regret the last time we had sex, which was the day before he left for New York. That night was when we conceived Masen, the best thing that we could have ever done.

I hope Edward knows I never regretted loving him. I hope he knows I don't regret having Masen. I just…I want him to know that no matter what he's been there in my mind, in my heart, all along.

Over the years I recorded all of Masen's firsts through video. There's two shelves in our living room that hold videos of Masen's life. I figured that if Edward did ever come back then there was a way that it would be like he was there. That he would be able to share in what I had experienced first hand.

I also knew that nothing would replace that feeling in him that he didn't get to see all of Masen's first firsthand.

It wouldn't replace it in me either. For that I am forever in his debt.

I watched as Edward slept beside me. His face was of an angel and I couldn't help but stare at him. It was already past four pm and I knew I should be getting home. Plus, my phone hadn't stopped ringing since we had first entered his bedroom after Lane left with Alexa.

I hope she didn't mind watching her all this time. I also hoped my son was being nice to her, I could just tell she liked him or at least I hoped she did.

I would hate for my son to get any more involved with Alyssa, although I knew if my son loved her then I would just have to grin and bear it.

But Lane seemed like she would be such a wonderful daughter-in-law.

Oh dear God, I did not just think that. My son was barely sixteen and I was already thinking about him getting married.

I shook my head getting rid of those thoughts.

"You're awake." Edward's hand brushed aside my bangs as he stared deep into my eyes.

"I have been for awhile." I tell him scooting closer.

"You should have woken me." He sighed breathing in deeply.

"You looked far too peaceful for me to wake you." I smiled up at him. His eyes sparkled as he leaned down to kiss me.

"What time is it?" He looked over at the digital clock on his night stand.

"Two hours until we had sex for the first time seventeen years ago." I instantly regretted what I said to him. I felt him chuckle rather then hear it.

"You remember?" He lifted my chin up with his index finger. I just nodded weakly. "I remember too." He whispered against my lips after he placed his on mine.

I let out a whimper. I was ecstatic that he remembered. I almost couldn't believe it.

"I would love to stay longer and celebrate that little anniversary but I really should be getting home to Masen." I pulled away from him reluctantly. I wanted nothing more then to stay in his arms, but the both of us had responsibilities such as our children.

"You're right." He nodded as I sat up and began pulling my clothes on. "Bella?" He stopped me from standing up from his bed.

"Hmm?" I turned around to look at him.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night? I mean, we still need to have that talk." I love how comfortable he sounded as he asked me. I gave him a smile and nodded. "I'll pick you up seven if that's alright."

"Sounds good, but I have work at nine the next morning so we can't stay out too late." I laughed after I finished what I said. I sounded like such a mother right then.

"Then let's make it six." He leaned across the bed and kissed me fully on the lips. It took everything in me to pull away.

"Bye, Love." He said this as I was halfway across his room, almost to the door. I stopped dead in my tracks upon hearing this. My heart was beating quickly and I felt like I was going to pass out any second. It had been so long since he had called me that.

Instead of running back to him like I had in my head I just smiled to myself and kept on walking.

* * *

After I got home Lane had caught me sneaking in. She just gave me a smile and picked up Alexa. She said her goodbyes before walking out of my house. As soon as the front door slammed shut Masen came running down the stairs.

He just had this grin on his face. I have no idea what was going through that boys head.

Once I had dinner on the table I thought we would talk but all through dinner he hadn't said a word. Not until he stood up from his chair and told me he was going over to Seth's to spend the night.

I tried to say something about what happened or why I was with Edward all day but he just said we'd talk later. Why was it that all these talks had to wait so long? I was already nervous about my talk with Edward now here I was having to be nervous about my talk with Masen.

Sometimes I wish I could just do things without having to think or talk them through. But with a kid and a past it's difficult to do that, almost impossible.

After Masen left I realized I needed to talk to Jacob. I knew if I invited him over then he'd think I wanted to do more then just talk. If I went over to his place he'd probably think the same thing.

I decided that it would be easier if I just went over there. I wasn't quite sure why but all I knew is I needed to talk to him.

He was surprised to see me standing there. A smile spread across his face and I started to hate myself for what I as about to do. Cleary Jacob loved me more then just in a friendly way. He had tried to express that over the past few years but I just wouldn't have it.

Because even though we fooled around I still just couldn't fall for him.

"Are you going to let me in? It's freezing out here." I pulled my jacket closer to my body. Jacob just swung the door wide so I could step in. His house was tiny. One bedroom and only one bath. The kitchen flowed right into the living room. "Look Jacob, there's some things we need to discuss." I turned to face him after he closed the door.

His smile suddenly faded.

"This is about Edward, isn't it?" His voice was cold and harsh.

"Jacob, you know I love you but…"

"You don't love me the way you love Edward." He interrupted. "Jesus, Bella he left you! Alone and pregnant! How could you possibly want him back in your life? How could you let him?"

"He didn't know I was pregnant." I returned.

"He still left you, pregnant or not. But me, I was there. Though everything."

"I know you were, Jacob and for that I more then grateful but as I've always told you I don't see you as more then a friend. I haven't meant to string you along all these years, and I'm sorry for that."

"But you did." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry." I looked down at my feet suddenly feeling ashamed for dragging him along like that. I didn't feel ashamed for still loving Edward, though.

"So, you've never felt like I do?" He tried to walk towards me but I took a step back. I just shook my head. "Nothing?"

"I love you as a friend, Jacob. That's it. That's all I've ever felt for you."

"All this time. All this fooling around meant nothing to you?" Oh God.

"Jacob…"

"I need to be alone right now, Bella. Please just go." He turned and walked towards his room slamming the door shut behind him.

I just sighed as I looked at his door one last time.

I felt sorry for how I treated him but I didn't feel sorry for ending this. I knew all along it shouldn't have ever started.

* * *

"Isabella Marie Swan, I am going to hurt you if you do not answer this door." I heard yelling coming through my front door. I had fallen asleep on the couch after I got back from Jacob's. I hadn't even heard the knocking until I heard Alice's yells. I groggily stood up and walked over to the door. I opened it to only find my very pissed off best friend.

"You have a lot of explaining to do." She huffed shoving past me. I just groaned and followed her to the kitchen. She plopped down on a chair with her arms folded across her chest and a very determined look on her face. "How come when I called today Masen answered and said you were at Edward's? Hmm? And how come when I called your cell phone you never picked up? Heck, I even called Edwards and I got nothing."

"My phone must have died…" I trailed off knowing full well I heard each time she had called.

"That's a terrible excuse Bella and I know it's not true." She rolled her eyes. "Now what were you doing at Edward's?"

"Nothing." I shrugged flashing her a smile. I heard a gasp as it seemed realization hit her.

"You didn't!" She shrieked.

"Yeah, I did." I said shyly.

"Oh my God!" She shrieked again. I didn't understand why she had to shriek so darn much. "So does that mean you two talked everything through?" She lowered her voice.

"Well, not exactly." I looked away.

"Bella…"

"What? I didn't know when I went over there last night that we'd have sex multiple times and end up spending the entire day together!" I threw my hands up into the air.

"You spent the night?" Her eyes widened.

"Yeah." I wrung my hands together nervously.

"And in all of that time you two were together you never thought to talk about everything?" She raised her eyebrow at me.

"We were living in the moment." I shrugged.

"Oh Bella…" She sighed giving me sad look.

"I don't regret what happened, Alice. I even ended things with Jake today…And Edward and I will talk about this. We're going out to dinner tomorrow night." I said.

"How'd Jacob take it?" She asked.

"He seemed pretty upset. I'm sure he'll never speak to me again…"

"He loves you far too much to do that, Bells. Even if it's Edward you want he'll always support you." She reached across the table to squeeze my arm.

"I hope you're right." I bit down on my lower lip.

"So, what's Masen think of all this? He does know right?"

"He knew I was at Edward's but he didn't want to talk about anything when I came home. He said we'd talk later. I know that if he's not okay with this then I won't get into anything more with Edward." I say. I will always put Masen first, even if I have to sacrifice my happiness.

"I'm still mad that you didn't call me or answer my calls." She glared at me. It was so Alice to be stuck on something like that.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't really wanting to have any contact with the real world." I sighed thinking back to the night and day I had spent with Edward. Pure Bliss.

"You owe me." She pointed a finger at me.

"Just as long as it's not shopping." I said groaning knowing that's exactly what she would want to do.

"We won't be shopping for you, Bells. We'll be shopping for the baby." She patted her barely there stomach.

"I can handle that. But don't you think you should wait a bit."

"I didn't say we'd be going anytime soon, I just said you owed me." She rolled her eyes. "Now that I know you're alive and aren't dead somewhere in a ditch I can go home and sleep." She stood up then asked me what time I was going out with Edward.

"Six."

"I'll be over at four." She waved. I should have known not to tell her. She was going to make me into her own personal Barbie. I've always hated telling Alice I was going out anywhere. She'd make such a big fuss about what I would wear or how I would do my hair. Make-up was what we fussed about the most. I loved Alice but those were the times I regretted having such a person as her as a friend.

I just sighed and flipped all of the lights off in my house before going upstairs to my own bed.


	10. Chapter 10

I decided that I am going to take this story further then I had intended in the beginning. I hope you all stick with me through it!

Chapter 10

I wanted to hit Alice by the time five thirty rolled around. There was really no need in taking an hour and a half to just get dressed and fix my hair. I'm sure if I wore a paper sack then Edward would still think I looked good. That made me blush. I never liked to admit that he thought I was beautiful but every chance he got he was telling me.

"Are we done here yet?" I pouted like a child.

"Stop being so impatient." She grumbled behind me.

"Aunt Alice, you know how Mom hates when you do this." Masen must have entered the room. I went to turn around to look at him but Alice turned my head back around. "Where are you going tonight that you need to dress up?"

I can't believe I forgot to tell him about my date with Edward. He hadn't gotten home until a couple of hours ago from Seth's.

"Well, I…er…have a date with your father?" I hadn't meant for it to sound like a question. Alice actually let me turn around to look at Masen.

"I'm going to leave you two to talk now." She said and quickly got out of my room.

I smiled when I saw the smile on Masen's face.

"That's awesome, Mom." He walked over and sat on my bed. "I like Edward and I can tell you're still in love with him."

"So, you're okay with all of this? Because if you aren't you need to tell me now before I get any more involved in his and Alexa's life." I said to him.

"I'm more then okay with it. I mean it'd be easier to get to know him this way. I want to know him, I've lived so long without a father…" He trailed off but kept his eyes on me. I really did have an amazing son. "Plus, I like that I have a sister."

"I'm glad, Masen." I stood up and hugged him. He returned the hug. "I couldn't have asked for a better son." I told him kissing his forehead.

"Aww, ma." He groaned. "I need to get downstairs. Even if he is my father I have to make sure he's good enough for my Mom." I just rolled my eyes there was that father thing again.

"Tell Alice she can come back up and torture me some more if she pleases." I groaned wishing I hadn't subjected myself to Alice's torture but she was my best friend and she always knew what was best for me.

---

He looked amazing when I walked down the stairs. Masen was sitting across from him, it seemed I had interrupted them talking. I saw a smile on Edward's face as he watched our son. I really hope things would work between them. I wanted Edward in my life, Alexa too.

Edward glanced up then stood up from his spot. Masen turned around.

"You look great, Mom." He gave me a smile.

"Thanks, kid." I said walking over to them.

"I want her home by eleven, got it?" Masen said to Edward sounding stern but still with a lightness to his voice. I just giggled and Edward promised him that I'd be there at eleven and no later.

"I am a grown woman, Mase."

"Yeah, but you're my Mom. I have to protect you." He said.

"Here I thought that was my job to protect you."

"You need it more then I do. Judging by those heels Aunt Alice put you in I can already picture you falling. Make sure you catch her." He pointed a finger at Edward, once again using that stern but light voice.

After we had said our goodbyes to Masen we got into Edward's Volvo. I couldn't believe he was still driving this brand of car. After so many years of better vehicles being made.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"There's only one semi-fancy restaurant in this town, Bells." He said looking over at me.

I smiled. I knew where he was talking about. It was the same restaurant where had shared our first kiss. I was happy that he actually told me but I should have already known where we would be going.

We were seated and had already ordered our food when he decided to talk.

"Bella, I want you to know that I never forgot about you over the years. I need you to know that. I need you to also know how I imagined our life together. Just you and me and the many kids I knew we would have. I had that whole white picket fence fantasy, you know the one girls usually have." He chuckled then went on. "I never imagined that I would spend all these years without you. I honestly thought you had moved on. I was heartbroken. I used women, even Alexa's Mom. I never found anyone that could replace you. After all you are irreplaceable." I hated when he made me blush but honestly I loved it all the same.

"What I'm trying to say is…I need you in my life now. I can't go back to being without you, Bella. I can't even go back to not having Masen in my life. I want to be with you and him. I want Alexa to have a brother and a mother…like she deserves. I want her to have a family, Masen too." He reached across the table to take my hand.

I couldn't believe that all of this was happening so quickly. We had a past. One that I would never forget but maybe we could start over, start new. All four of us together.

"I don't want to forget our past. I know I won't be able to and I know you won't either but I want to get past it."

"I do too, Edward. I want all of that. I want it more then I've ever wanted it before." I shifted a little.

"Let's try this. Let's try being something more then friends." He says squeezing my hand. I squeezed his back and gave him a wide smile.

"We should finish that game of twenty questions." I declared.

"Who's turn was it?"

"I think it was mine." I said trying to think of something to ask him. "How come you changed? I mean you were such a different guy with me then you were in New York, or so you said."

"I didn't have you. I was alone most of the time and it got to be too much. So, I found whatever I could to get rid of that loneliness. It never worked, it'd take it away just a little but never enough. Not like it is with you." He sighed and looked away and then back at me. "Why Jacob? In High school you always told me how you hated how he talked about me."

"I guess I had that same reason as you. At first I tried to just focus on Masen and nothing more. Sure there were other guys…but nothing that was worth holding on to. Not even Jacob, he's still my best friend but I don't see anything more with him." I said and looked away from a second just as he had before. I didn't even know what number question we were on, but I knew that even after the twenty question game I'd keep telling him anything he asked me. "What's Alexa's full name?" I needed a lighter question.

"Alexandra Elizabeth." He says. "Was Masen easy to care for as a child." Now that was something I could talk about for hours. Masen's childhood.

"He was. As a baby he rarely cried, and I had Alice and Jasper's help plus…Moms and my Dads." I couldn't meet his eyes when I mentioned my Mom he seemed to notice that so I went ahead and asked my question. "Have you told your parent's yet?"

"I called them last night after you left. They were confused at first but then delighted to know that they had another grandkid. I'm sure they were already planning a trip here." Just as he was about to ask another question our food came. We ate in silence letting go of each other's hand. My hand felt empty without his in it.

I was home by 10:45. I walked into my house after my small make-out session with Edward. I knew Masen was already in bed so I walked my way up the stairs. I felt pure bliss as I collapsed on my bed. I was happy, happier then I been in awhile.

I woke up the next morning with a smile still planted on my face. No normal person should ever be this happy, but I was and I wanted it to last forever but I knew that wasn't possible. Something bad had to be around the corner. I didn't want to think about that though. I just wanted to think about how happy I was. How I was finally going to have a full family. Me, Edward, Masen and Alexa. I wondered how it would be raising a little girl. I was proud of myself that Masen was such a wholesome boy. I hoped I could do just as good a job with Edward's daughter.

It felt nice to think that she could possibly become my daughter one day. She was an adorable little girl and I would want nothing more then for her to call me her Mom.

I sighed happily then and hopped out of bed.

I was ready to face my day.

I could just tell it would be as good a day as last night had been.

We had a talk, at least a little bit of the talk. I'm sure there was more we needed to discuss but we would get to that along the way.

I went to my phone to see that Alice had already called me. Her pregnancy must cause her to wake up early. I hadn't had morning sickness with Masen so I had no idea how that felt.

"Good Morning, Alice." I said into the phone after she picked up.

"_You seem to be in good spirits this morning." _She didn't sound as awake as I was.

"I am."

"_I take it the date went well." _She yawned.

"Yep." I smiled pulling slipping my shoes on.

"That's really great, Bells. You deserve this." She said yawning once again.

"You sound tired, Alice."

"_No shit, I haven't been able to sleep in the last few days. This child of mine seems to want to keep me up. Not sure why though." _She mumbled.

"I need to get to work but I'll call you later with details. You should really get some sleep, it's not healthy for the baby to not sleep." I tell her. I was an expert on carrying a child, or so I wanted to believe.

"_Yeah, yeah."_ I could tell she was rolling her eyes.

After our conversation I rushed out of my house. I only had ten minutes to get to work before I was late. I hated being late for anything. Being late wasn't good. The last time I was late for something I was pregnant with Masen. I laughed at that thought.

I was terrified staring at that pregnancy test. I was missing Edward like crazy and I was feeling irritable. Everything made me angry or sad. Alice had waved it off to me as stress. Sure I thought that could possibly be it. I was stressed with school starting and with Edward being gone. But it wasn't stress. It was in fact a baby growing inside of me. My wonderful little boy.

I had wanted a boy from the beginning. I wasn't sure I'd be able to care for a girl, but with a boy I knew I could handle it. I loved him from the second I felt little flutters in my belly. I've never stopped loving that boy.

He could murder someone and I would still love him. Although I wouldn't want that for him…I'm just saying how much I love my son.

Rosalie had finally gone on maternity leave which left pediatrics in a tizzy. I wasn't sure I liked her stand in doctor. She was a lot more strict then Rose was.

She didn't like me much, that I could tell from the beginning. But I had worked there for ten years and there was no way her opinion would matter to anyone about me.

I walked in Michael's room, the little boy who suffered from Leukemia. He gave me a wide smile before showing me the new truck his mother must had bought him.

"Masen had one just like that when he was your age." I said taking his vitals.

"I like when he visits." He tells me simply. "He tells me all kinds of stories. Mom likes him too." He glanced over at his mother who was smiling at me. She wasn't crying today, she was trying to be strong for Michael. It seemed to be working because he seemed to be in good spirits today.

"He's always been able to tell a good story." I said remembering all the one's he had made up as a little boy. He would tell me these off the wall stories that surprised me to no end.

"Can he come visit me soon?"

"Of course he can. I'll be sure to talk to him once he get's out of school." I say with a smile.

"Thank you, Ms. Bella." He drifted off to sleep after I put some pain medicine through his IV. This disease really took a lot out of the young boy. It was rather painful and sometimes got to be too much for him.

"You are truly an amazing woman, Bella." Michael's Mom smiled at me.

"You are too. You are much stronger then I would be." I say to her checking Michaels chart one last time making sure that I added everything correctly.

"After awhile you have to be. There's no reason to not be." She gives me a slightly sad smile. I just nod at her and leave the room.

I took a deep breath before finishing my rounds.


	11. Chapter 11

Review and tell me what you think!

Chapter 11

The doctor filling in for Rosalie stopped me while I was on my way out of the hospital. Edward was waiting for me at the end of the hall and I couldn't help but be excited about seeing him.

"Nurse Swan is there any possible way you could do a double shift tonight?" I frowned and then looked up at Edward. He started to walk towards me. Once he reached me he silently asked me what was wrong. "Oh." Her face brightened at the sight of my…er…my boyfriend? Lover? What am I supposed to call him? "I'm Victoria." She went to shake his hand but he wasn't paying attention to her. I watched as she got angry and put her hand down.

"Is there anyone else you could ask?" I bit down on my lower lip. "My son…"

"No, there isn't and I really don't like when it's short staffed around here." She grumbled like she had been here for a long time. She knew nothing about this hospital. I couldn't help but get enraged.

"I'll make sure Masen has dinner, if you want to stay." He wrapped one of his arms around my waist.

"Are you sure?" I glanced up at him biting on my lip again. I knew I didn't really need the hours but for some reason I felt like this would be good. Letting them have alone time. It made me very happy on the inside. "I don't have to…"

"Swan, can you please hurry. We have patients that need to be taken care of." Victoria huffed from beside me. I just looked over at her with a glare.

"If you don't mind I would really like to discuss this with my boyfriend." I felt Edward's hand squeeze my waist at the word boyfriend. It felt natural saying it.

Victoria rolled her eyes and scoffed. I could tell she wanted to say something but she didn't. I looked back up at Edward. He wasn't looking at her still, both of his eyes were still on me.

"It's alright, Bella. You work and I'll take care of Masen. Don't worry." He kissed my forehead. I wasn't worried, not at all.

"Thanks." I sighed running a hand through my hair. I knew they needed this alone time but I really waned to be with them.

"When will you be home?"

"I'm not sure but I'll call you before I leave her." I smiled.

"Alright, Love. See you later." He kissed my forehead again. I watched him walk away. He had a really nice butt.

I blushed thinking about this. I should probably get to work before the bitch Victoria decides she wants to send her wrath on me.

---

The house was quiet by the time I got home. I had called Edward's phone and my house phone but no one bad picked up.

All of the lights were turned off but I knew Edward was there because his car was in my driveway.

I noticed someone sleeping on my couch. I smiled to see that it was Edward with Alexa sleeping soundly on his chest. I didn't want to wake them so I went and pulled a blanket over their bodies. Edward stirred but didn't wake up.

I just stood there watching them.

This was my family, or at least two of the people in my family. The other person was probably upstairs sleeping.

I walked towards the kitchen and flipped on the light. I groaned when I realized that I hadn't gone grocery shopping in awhile so there was nothing for me to eat in the fridge. The I noticed the Chinese food sitting on the counter. I quickly sat up on the counter and started stuffing my face. Sure it was cold but I hadn't eaten all day. The hospital had been pretty busy, especially after four.

Victoria had left around nine and asked me to stay a few extra hours. I really wanted to scream but I knew that I would stay.

My feet felt like they were going to fall off if I didn't sit down somewhere. It felt nice to have them dangling off the counter.

I couldn't believe I had worked from 9 am until 11 pm. I was beat and I knew if I didn't go to bed now then I wouldn't wake up tomorrow. Thankfully Victoria granted me a day off since I had worked for so long. I had threatened her with telling someone since she seemed to be slave driving me.

My bed felt empty, somehow I felt like Edward should be laying next to me.

I felt the bed shift thirty minutes later. I wasn't sure why I hadn't fallen asleep yet. The body next to me pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

"Mind if I sleep in here?" Edward's voice was soft and loving. I just shook my head and let my body get closer to his. I closed my eyes and that's when I finally fell asleep.

----

"Bella, Love?" Edward was shaking me. I just groaned not wanting to wake up yet. I was comfortable right where I was. "Bella, it's past two."

I quickly sat up in bed. I couldn't believe I had slept away most of the day. But then again I hadn't gone to bed since midnight and I worked that very long shift…

"You've been here all this time?" I asked sleepily.

"I have." He nodded.

"Did Masen get to school? Where's Alexa?"

"Yes, he did. He's visiting Michael at the hospital after he gets out and Alexa is sleeping in the guest bedroom." He says pushing my hair out of my face.

"How'd dinner go last night?" I asked biting down on my lip nervously.

"Good, you have raised a good son, Bells." He smiled kissing my forehead. He went to stand up but I just pulled him back up. There was no way he was leaving my side yet. I needed to fully wake up first.

"That means a lot, Edward." I kissed his lips lightly. "Downstairs to the right in the living room there are two shelves full of tapes. Watch those."

"All of them?" He raised an eyebrow at me. I nodded. "Mind if I take them home and watch them? I need to get Alexa in the bath and feed her."

"Of course."

"Are you hungry? I could make you something."

"You, cook?" I let out a laugh. The last time Edward cooked for me I couldn't stop puking the next day. It was a terrible thing but I made it seemed like I liked it. Until he asked if I wanted him to cook again. I had to tell him no.

"I've been on my own all these years, I had to learn somehow. Grilled Cheese sound okay?"

"Sounds perfect, but Edward please don't burn it." I giggled. He tapped my nose and promised me he wouldn't.

I decided that I needed a shower since I had been far too tired the previous night. My body ached all over and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to walk down the stairs. I hadn't felt like this since I first started out at the hospital. That felt like death.

I walked down the stairs after my shower to find Edward sitting at the table. I suddenly wondered how he found the bread and cheese, I hadn't had any the night before.

"I went grocery shopping earlier. I saw you had nothing in this kitchen…that's okay, right?" I just laughed and plopped down on his lap.

"Thank you, but I should really pay you back."

"Nonsense, Bells." He said wrapping his arms around my waist. I picked up the sandwich and bit into it. It tasted almost like Heaven. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

"This is amazing, Edward. Are you sure you made this?" I glanced at him.

"I'm positive, Love." He stole a bite of the sandwich.

"Oh, no Mister. This is all mine." I pulled it back so he couldn't eat any more of it. He tried to take it away from me but I pulled it far enough away he couldn't take it.

"Fine. You eat it." He pecked my cheek. I started eating it again.

"You are amazing, you know that?" I said raising an eye brow at him.

"So I've been told."

"Conceited much?"

"No, I just know you can't resist me. You never have been able to." He whispered in my ear. "You used to always tell me I was amazing."

"It's the truth and yes, Edward I can resist you." I pouted.

"Don't think so." He shook his head.

"Want to test that theory." I said looking at him seriously. His face fell and he shook his head.

"No, not at all. I believe you." He said in quickly before he nuzzled his face into my neck.

"Good answer." I kissed his lips on last time before hopping off of his lap.

"I should get going now." He sighed. I could tell he really didn't want to but I knew he was right. He had spent all day here with me just sleeping. I wonder if he watched me like he used to.

I gave him a pout.

"I'll call you later." He pulled my body close to his and kissed my lips with force. I wanted to keep at that but I knew if we did then it would turn into us running up the stairs to my room and I don't think that was something I want Masen to come home to.

---

Masen walked in the front door just as I had put dinner on the table. I found that my fridge and pantry were both fully stocked with foods I had loved. I wonder how he knew me so darn well.

"How was your day?" I asked him. He pulled his book bag off and threw it in the living room.

"It was good. I stopped to see Michael this after noon. His mom says he's getting better. I really hope this chemo works for him." He sighed taking a seat. "Did you get some sleep?" He asked me in that fatherly tone again. I really wished he'd stop treating me like I was the child and he was the parent.

"Yeah, I slept all day actually. Surprisingly Edward was still here when I woke up." I placed a glass of water in front of him.

"I really like him, Mom. He's a great guy. Last night we actually talked. I thought it'd be awkward but it really wasn't. I'm happy he came back and I'm happy that I get to know him. Lex too."

"Me too, Mase." I smiled at him. "Talk about anything important?" I pried.

"He said he was sorry for leaving you and that he wished he had been around when I was growing up but other then that not really." He shrugged stuffing his mouth with chicken.

"Oh." I shifted wishing there was a little more.

"What time do you work tomorrow?" He asked changing the subject.

"From eleven until seven." I say.

"Okay, I might be a little late getting home. Grandpa wanted me to stop by and watch some game with him." He shrugged. I knew Charlie liked the alone time he got with Masen. Since I had lived with him for the first five years of Masen's life.

"Okay. Masen, can I ask you something?" I wanted to know what happened when Lane was over here. I knew it was possibly not something he would share but I was his mother and it was my job to butt into his life. He nodded. "What were you so happy about when I got home Sunday? Lane had that same goofy smile on her face too…"

"She's a cool girl, I can't believe I hadn't talked to her before. We have a lot in common and…" He looked away. "I think I might like her."

I was surprised he was sharing this with me.

"What about Alyssa?" I cringed at her name.

"We just aren't working…she's too high maintenance." He shrugged finishing up his dinner.

"So, you're breaking up with her?" I said wanting to know a little more.

"Mom." He groaned.

"Sorry, Mase, I'm just curious." I shrugged taking a sip of my water.

"I'll let you know when I figure everything out, but right now I'm tired." He yawned. I was happy that he said he'd tell me when he figured everyone out. That made me happy that he felt comfortable talking to me. I wondered if he would ever feel comfortable talking to Edward like that. I hoped so.


	12. Chapter 12

This was planned all along so pleaseplease don't hate me.

Chapter 12

I spent my next day walking around like a zombie. I'm really not sure how I could still be so tired after spending my day before sleeping and sleeping through the night last night.

Victoria and I never crossed paths today which really made me feel better. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her bitching me out.

Once I was home I went straight to bed. It was only seven o'clock. I left a note for Masen and some cash for him to get take-out.

"Mom. Michael's Mom is on the phone." Masen shook me awake. I mumbled something but buried my face back into my pillow. Once I realized what Masen had just said I quickly sat up grabbing the phone from him.

"Vivienne?" I nervously asked. I had given her my number awhile back for emergencies. She had never called me before, so I knew something had to be wrong.

"_Oh, Bella." _She was crying. This couldn't be good.

"What's wrong?"

"_He…he…" _She didn't have to finish. All of the blood felt like it had left me at that moment. I couldn't breathe.

"No." My voice was barely above a whisper I doubt she heard me. The tears were threatening to escape but I couldn't let her hear me crying. That's not what she needed right now. I looked up to see that Masen was standing there just as pale as I probably was at that moment.

"I think I'm going to be sick." He declared and ran off towards the bathroom. I felt the same way but I couldn't move.

"_Bella, he's my baby!" _She was screaming now. _"He can't be gone!"_

I knew I needed to say something. Anything to comfort her but there were no words to help what she was going through right now.

All of this brought me back to the phone call I got from Renee's husband, Phil. He was telling me the exact same thing. She died. She died of the same disease as Michael. Like I said, I don't talk about it much, but this situation…It's too much.

"Vivienne, do you need me to come there?" I didn't know where she was but I felt like I needed to be with her.

"_I'm still at the hospital."_ She had to choke out between sobs.

I found her sitting in Michael's room. His body was gone and my heart instantly dropped. She was curled up on the bed with her eyes closed as tears still spilled down her cheeks. I walked over and lay next to her. I pulled her close to me.

"This can't be happening to me. He was all I had. His father wasn't around much…Bella what am I going to do?" She sobbed into my chest. I wasn't sure what to tell her. I had no answer. All I did was sit there and hold her close to my body.

Over the years I had gotten close to Michael's mother. She was the strongest person I knew, but right now all of that slipped away and I couldn't blame her.

When Renee died I did the same thing.

I had rushed to the hospital after Phil's call but she was already gone. I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye. I remember curling up in the bed and pulling her pillow towards my face. I could smell her still but it wasn't enough. Alice had been the one to comfort me then, holding me just like this.

I needed to return that towards Vivienne.

Masen was leaning against the door frame as he let his crying get the best of him. I could tell he was hurting, this was killing him and I could see that too.

He had that same look on his face when I told him his grandmother had passed away.

I don't know how long I had been there when Rosalie had shown up. She seemed to have expanded since I had seen her last but she still found a way to hold both me and Vivienne close.

Rosalie, Masen and I were the closest thing Michael and Vivienne had to family. Hers had abandoned her long ago, making this situation even more tough for her.

Rosalie had been his doctor for all these years and I could tell this was tearing her apart as much as it was me.

"We're going to help you through this, Vivienne. I promise." I whispered to her. She just nodded but kept on crying.

* * *

I felt miserable. I just wanted to crawl into bed and never leave but I still had Masen to think about.

I had lost another loved one to this terrible disease.

Masen was a zombie the next few days. He had skipped school and I couldn't blame him for that. I knew we had to move past this but right now…

I hadn't seen nor talked to Edward since the day before Michael had died. He called, he even stopped by a few times but I never answered the phone nor had I answered the door.

Rosalie and I were helping Vivienne get the arrangements together for Michael's funeral. I couldn't believe I was saying that. How had this happened?

She didn't want anything big, just us and Michael's father. She hadn't wanted to call him but she knew it was for the best. Even if he wasn't in his son's life there was no way she could deny him coming to Michael's funeral.

He was being buried on Sunday and it was already Saturday. Rosalie had tried to get me to call Edward but there was no way. I knew he would be there for Masen and I but…I also knew I'd have to tell him about Renee. I wasn't up for rehashing that story.

"Mom." Masen stood in my doorway. I looked up at him and bounded over towards me. He wrapped his arms around me. "Come on, you need to take a bath."

It was so like my son to be worried about me, but wasn't I the one that should be worried about him? He had lost a friend, even if the boy was younger then he was. Michael was like a brother to him.

"I can't lose you." I cried and switched to where I was holding Masen close to me. "You're all I have."

"You have Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie, Mom. Edward too." He whispered but I could tell he was starting to cry again by the break in his voice as he spoke.

" But you mean the world to me, Mase. You're the only one that matters."

* * *

Sunday came too quickly for me.

I slipped on my black dress and tried to comb my hair but I felt far too weak. I grabbed a pair of black sunglasses and slipped them on my face. Rosalie was standing in my living room with her hand on her stomach. She didn't look much better then I did.

She was the one that always kept her hair nice, made sure she was wearing make-up, dressed in the latest fashion but this Rosalie…this was totally different. This was the Rosalie I remembered when Renee died.

Masen was sitting on the couch. Alice had his hands in hers trying to comfort him. She had met Michael a few times while visiting Rose and I at the hospital.

"I guess we should…" I stopped and motioned towards the front door. All of them nodded.

Vivienne had been too hurt for there to be an open casket so we stood outside as the preacher said a few words. I was in the middle of Vivienne and Masen. I was holding her up with her arm looped through mine as Masen just stood there. Rosalie was on Vivienne's other side and Alice was on Masen's. Michael's father hadn't shown up which I knew hurt Vivienne a little more.

I told her he didn't matter. I told her that that we were her family and that's all that mattered.

I hadn't heard a single word the man in front of us was saying. I looked back behind me and saw the various other nurses and doctor's from the hospital in their black dresses and suits.

I hadn't registered that they were putting the casket in the ground until Vivienne's grip tightened.

"There's pie at my place." Rosalie spoke up just as we were leaving. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh, even if this was the appropriate place. I heard Vivienne let out one too.

"Pie sounds good." I sighed as we all went towards the cars. Vivienne had thanked everyone for coming. They had all told her sorry for her loss but their words were useless towards her. At least she knew they cared.

* * *

We were all sitting around Rose's table eating the pie she had promised us.

Vivienne looked up at my son after picking at her pie. The thought of the comfort food sounded good but once we were actually down to eating it, it just didn't feel right.

"He worshipped you. When he couldn't sleep sometimes he would go on and on about you. He said he wanted to be just like you when he grew up." She said it with so much confidence that everyone in the room had to look over at her. Jasper and Emmett had joined us soon after we got there. They had both asked me if I had talked to Edward but I told them that I hadn't. I said that right now I needed to be alone. They both tried to protest but Alice jumped in and said to not utter another word about it.

She knew how this was on me, she knew how I had lost my mother. She was there. She was the one crying with me. She was the one forcing food down my throat. She was the one who threw me in the shower even though I still had my clothes on.

I knew if I had to I would do the same for Vivienne. I would be there for her and I knew Rose and Masen would be too, even Alice.

"He was a good kid." Masen wouldn't meet anyone's eyes.

"You used to tell him stories. Stories that he truly believed in." She said next. I gave them both a small smile. "I can't thank you enough for that." She stood up and walked over to my son.

She pulled him close and I heard the sobs coming from them both. No one in the room uttered a word as we just watched them.


	13. Chapter 13

I'm surprised that I actually wrote a chapter without dialogue. Hope you guys like it. :)

EdwardPOV

Chapter 13

My heart was aching to see her. I wanted to hold her and help her forget what was going on right now. Alice just told me that something happened, that someone she was close to died. Rosalie just shrugged it off and told me not to worry that'd she'd come around eventually. Jasper and Emmett weren't much help either.

I couldn't let her push me away. I had spent the last sixteen years without her and I don't plan on doing that ever again.

I needed her like an addict needed drugs.

She was my drug, my heroin.

Three weeks. Three long and tiring weeks that she hasn't spoken to me. I wake up, take care of Lex and try to get in touch with her but it never works.

I've stopped by her house everyday but no one ever answers the door. Her cars in the driveway and so is Masen's. I stop by the hospital but every time she just waves me off. And every time I can see that she's not doing good. She looks more pale then usual, she looks as if she hasn't eaten a thing, and her beautiful brown eyes have a dullness to them now.

I didn't know what could have happened, or who this person was that she had die. I knew it wasn't Charlie, Emmett worked at the police station and I visited him often. Charlie was there every time I was giving me the cold shoulder.

I tried asking him what was wrong with Bella but still got no answer.

I then thought maybe it had to do something with Renee but no one ever mentioned her and when I said something to Emmett about he stiffened and said Renee was long gone. I didn't know if he meant dead or just left. If he meant dead…then I hate myself for not being there for her. For not being the one that helped her through it. I should have been by her side.

I was stupid to not come back when I promised, I see that much now but I truly thought I was doing the right thing.

I picked Alexa up from where she was sitting in her highchair. She was squealing and banging her hands on the tray trying to get my attention.

It was past seven so I figured now would be the time to bathe her and put her to bed. My little girl loved taking baths. I let myself wonder if Masen had loved baths. If Bella had a hard time with him…but I'd never know.

After I had put Alexa to bed I finally got around to watching those tapes. I wasn't sure why over the past three weeks that I hadn't but now I figured it was a good a time as any. Each tape was labeled with something and there had to be about thirty here.

_Masen Anthony Swan's Birth._

I read off the first one and my heart stopped. I reached for another.

_Masen's First Birthday._

These were all the things I had missed and they were all on these tapes.

I grabbed the first tape and popped in the VCR.

My beautiful Bella looked in pain once the video started. I could faintly hear Alice squealing in the background but I kept my eyes on her.

The way she twitched when a contraction hit. How she was yelling out her hatred towards me. The way she took Jasper's hand and squeezed it so tight that I thought she would surely break it.

That should have been me. I should have been the one holding her hand. I should have been with her welcoming our son into the world.

I wasn't sure if I could keep going with this but once I heard the doctor telling Bella it was time, I was hooked.

Alice hadn't shot all of the gross details but kept the camera on Bella's face while she pushed and screamed.

The doctor declared that she only needed one final push.

That push looked like it took a lot out of her.

I felt for her then.

Then I heard the crying. The crying that I wish I had heard for the first time standing next to Bella. Alice put the camera on the bloody baby as the doctor's cleaned him up. It shot off and then turned back on to show Bella holding the tiny infant in her arms.

I wish I had held that infant.

Alice asked Bella what his name was and Bella with a proud smile told her. She zoomed in on Masen's face, at that exact moment he opened his eyes. I always thought babies had blue eyes when they were first born, Alexa did, but not Masen. They were as green as they are now.

I watched the rest of the tape while a tired looking Bella hummed to our son. It sounded familiar but I couldn't quite place it.

Once the tape shut off I walked over and grabbed the next.

Masen's face popped up on the screen. I heard Bella's voice saying it was his first birthday. I couldn't help but smile at that.

He giggled and was swooped up by Emmett. I should have been the person that did that.

That should have been me.

But I wasn't there. Bella hadn't told me.

I couldn't hold it against her, but who was I supposed to hold it against? She had been the one not to tell me…

I spent the next four hours watching those tapes. I had a total of five to go until I was finished with them.

I was tired but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen.

I had learned so many things in those four hours. How Masen lost his first tooth. His first day of school. Every single one of his birthday's. I saw how happy Bella was with him. I saw love in her eyes each time she popped up on the screen.

I still couldn't help but wish I was there, but wishing won't turn back time and I just had to keep telling myself that.

I was watching him get ready for his first dance now. Bella had tears in her eyes while Alice stood behind the camera. It moved a lot so I figured that was Alice being excited.

Once he was gone the camera turned to Bella.

She had tears in her eyes while her hand kept at her mouth. Alice asked what was wrong and all Bella said was 'my baby.' Then it shut off.

I spent the rest of the night finishing up those tapes. The last one was his sixteenth birthday. Jacob was there and I couldn't help but be jealous, actually Jacob had been at every one of his birthdays. He seemed to show up a lot on the videos.

Standing next to Masen was a girl. She was holding onto his arm as he blew out the candles. I wondered if this was his girlfriend. If I had been around his whole life then I would have known these things. I wouldn't have had to ask, he would have told me. He would have come to me looking for advice, we wouldn't have an awkward relationship.

I wonder who talked to him when he hit puberty? If it had been Bella who had to have that awkward conversation or was it Jacob?

I missed so much.

I'd be damned if I missed any more.

Once the last tape finished I ran up the stairs to grab Alexa. It was five am at this point and I didn't care if I was waking anyone up.

She wasn't too happy about me waking her up but I handed her a bottle and she stopped whining.

She fell right back to sleep on the drive over to Bella's, which could have been a good thing or bad. Good because she'd sleep right through whatever happened or bad because she'd wake up again and be in a much worse mood.

The old Bella would yell at me for waking her up so early on her day off, I hoped to God she'd yell at me. Then I knew there was still hope there.

She wasn't going to push me away anymore. I wouldn't have it. I would make her talk to me, tell me why she was so upset, tell me why she wouldn't let me in.

I froze when I got to her front door. It was already opened and Bella was standing there. She had her shoes on and had her keys in her hand. I wasn't sure where she was going but I could tell she was crying again.

She didn't say a word but her eyes sparkled a little.

When I tried to speak she just shook her head and opened the door wider so I could step in.

She pointed for me to take Alexa up the stairs. When I came back she was in the kitchen with her shoes off and her keys laying on the counter.

She handed me a cup of coffee as I sat down. Then she stood up and walked over towards me. She sat down on my lap like normal and buried her face into my chest. I put the coffee down and wrapped my arms around her trembling body.

I kissed the top of her head and somehow I knew she was going to let me back in.


	14. Chapter 14

Don't worry everything will work out in the end. :)

Chapter 14

I wanted to tell him everything. About how hard it was for me when I was pregnant with Masen. How I missed him so bad that I would cry myself to sleep at night. I wanted to tell him about the time Masen tripped and fell and had to get surgery on his knee. I wanted to tell him how when he was six he had to get his tonsils out. I wanted to tell him about Renee and how her death affected our son and I so much. I wanted him to know why I was so upset about Michael dying.

But I didn't say a word. I just clung to his shirt and let the tears wet his shirt. He didn't mind, he told me so when I backed away a little. He just kept his arms around me and soothed me.

I was going to see him when he showed up. I felt relief seeing him standing there. I had a terrible night and hadn't slept a wink. I stayed up thinking about all of things I had in my life. I thought about Masen, Alice and Rose. I let my mind go to Edward next. I knew he cared, he had tried to get in touch with me every single day for the past three weeks. I was being stubborn. I just thought he'd want to know things, he'd want an explanation and at the time I wasn't ready to tell him anything.

I know for our relationship to be stronger that I would have to let go and just tell him everything. He deserved that much.

I lifted my head off of chest and looked into his green eyes. Those eyes held so much love that I couldn't help but crash my lips into his. I was vulnerable and maybe this was the wrong thing to do but it just felt so right.

Before it could get any further he pushed away. I was a little upset but knew it was probably better that way. He caressed my cheek and told me that right now wasn't the right time. He said he loved me and would always be there for me. He also said I didn't have to tell him what was going on right away. He would be there when I was ready.

"Mom? Edward?" I turned around to see Masen standing at the doorway rubbing at his sleepy eyes. He shuffled through the kitchen. "You do know it's seven in the morning right?" He grumbled. He seemed upset that Edward was in our house so early.

He hadn't been doing good these past three weeks. My son had changed and he built up this wall that I was afraid he wouldn't let anyone get through. He stopped talking to his girlfriend, not that I really minded that, he even stopped talking to Seth. It was as if he didn't want to be close to anyone, afraid he'd lose them.

He pulled the milk carton out of the fridge and took a swig of it. I frowned, but didn't say anything. I would usually tell him to get a glass.

"I have to get ready for school." He mumbled shuffling back out of the kitchen. I sighed and buried my head back into Edwards chest.

"How's he doing?" Edward then asked. I lifted my head up.

"He's hurt." I said simply. Edward just nodded and I knew he didn't want to pry.

"Do you work today?" He then asked and I shook my head. I had cut down my hours at the hospital to spend more time with Masen hoping that the togetherness would ease some of the pain. That only seemed to push him away even more.

"I have to finish some editing, but I'll be back later. Okay?" He stood up with me still in his arms. I didn't want him to leave. Ever.

"I'll miss you too much." I croaked out. My voice was unsteady and I knew he could tell.

"You can come with me to my place."

I smiled and told him that I wouldn't want to intrude. He ended up going home without me taking Alexa's sleeping body with him.

I waited in the living room for Masen to come back downstairs hoping that I could catch him in a good mood and he was say something to me.

He just walked over to where his book bag was and slung it over his shoulder. He mumbled a goodbye. I tried to stand up and follow him but he was gone before I could even get off the couch.

Was this my fault? Did I cause him to pull away like this? Did this have to do with Michael's death or Renee's? I wish he would just talk to me. Then I thought what normal teenager would want to talk to their mother? Maybe this was normal, maybe every mother of a teenaged son went through this.

I had to make myself believe that.

I laid down on the sofa in a fetal position until I fell asleep. My dreams were of Edward and how our life could have been would I have just told him about our son. I then dreamed of our wedding and me being Alexa's real mother..

I was jerked awake by the doorbell.

It was Edward and somehow I knew I was ready to talk.

Once inside he was inside and had Alexa playing on the floor he spoke. I was happy that he started the conversation.

"I watched those tapes. I hadn't thought to watch them until last night…" He looked away and I grabbed his hands. I was almost afraid he would jerk away from me.

"I made sure I taped all of the important events in his life."

"Thank you." He whispered and pulled me close to him.

I took a deep breath before telling him everything. I told him everything on my mind. Masen's childhood. How I cried myself to sleep. How I hated myself the first time I slept with Jacob. I told him all about Renee's death and how it affected me. I told him how Michael died of the same thing. I told him how Masen was acting lately. I finished off with telling him how sorry I was for not letting him in, for not letting him take care of me the way he wanted.

I had been independent for so long that it was difficult for me to just let someone in like that, to let someone take care of me instead of me taking care of someone.

I fell asleep again with his arms wrapped around me. It felt nice.

Before I knew it Masen was slamming the front door.

"You're here again?" He shot at Edward. I wondered what had changed, at first Masen was happy that Edward was in our lives…now…he seemed to despise him.

"Mase…" I tried standing up but lost my balance. Edward had been the one to steady me.

"We don't need you, Edward. We've done just fine without you." Masen surprised me when he snapped at Edward.

"I…uhm…guess I should go." Edward stood up with a painful look on his face. I tried to stop him but he was already scooping Alexa up and rushing towards the door.

Once he left I turned to my son. He had a smirk on his face and went to walk upstairs.

"What's gotten in to you?" He abruptly stopped.

"Getting close to people is a bad idea, Mom. They just leave." He growled at me and then rushed up the stairs.

My heart hurt.

My son was different, not the same kid that I had raised.

----

I wanted to go to Edward's and tell him that we did need him. That he was what could possibly save us.

I stopped myself and instead went to Alice's.

She instantly brought me into her arms without saying a word. It was as if she could read my mind.

"Jasper!" She turned around yelling for her husband. He came into the room looking as he were ready for something bad. "Can you run to the store? We need ice cream, Rocky Road."

He didn't protest, instead just saying he would be back soon.

We walked into the den and Alice popped in movie. Breakfast At Tiffanies. I smiled, it had been the movie we watched when we were in highs cool every time something was wrong. Like the time Edward and I broke up over nothing, we were back together four hours later.

Jasper wasn't long. He brought the ice cream in the room and quickly left knowing if he stayed he'd be stuck watching the movie.

"Masen yelled at Edward." I said simply after the movie was over and the ice cream had been eaten.

"So, you're talking to Edward now?" She quirked an eyebrow. I nodded and told her what happened. She told me that it was a phase Masen was going through and soon enough he'd realize that not everyone he got close to would leave.

I hoped she was right. I wanted my son back.

After leaving Alice's I went back home and buried myself in my bed. It was the first night since Michael's death that I hadn't cried myself to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Masen's acting out. It happens alot. But like i said everything will work out in the end. :) have faith in me.

Chapter 15

Charlie was sitting across from me at my kitchen table. It was the day after Masen had snapped at Edward. I wanted to ask my dad what I should do.

I realized that he had no idea how to deal with a teenage boy.

"Is he doing drugs?" He asked. My eyes widened. I hoped not, but around Forks drugs weren't a big thing. I shook my head. "Where's he at?" This was awkward. I just shrugged and said he wasn't home when I got back from work. I told him I tried calling him but it just went straight to voicemail. I had left five messages in the past two hours.

"I'm hovering aren't I?" I winced at my own voice.

"You're his mother, it's what you do." He gave me a small smile. I wasn't sure how I was like this. Charlie never hovered and sure Renee did but it wasn't as bad as I thought I was being.

"I should just back off. Give him time." Charlie just shrugged and stood up telling me he had somewhere to be. Apparently Sue was dragging him around to look at different locations for their wedding. He was almost to the front door when it opened. Masen stood there drenched. I hadn't even noticed it was raining outside.

He shot me a look and didn't even glance at Charlie.

Charlie tried to get his attention but Masen just went straight upstairs.

"That's how he always is." I sighed.

Charlie left and once again I felt alone. In the last sixteen years I can honestly say I have never felt like this. I always had Masen around to keep me company.

I called him for dinner later but he just told me he wasn't hungry. I told him I'd leave his food in the microwave if he got hungry later. He grumbled something but his voice was too low for me to hear.

The doorbell rang as I descended the stairs.

_Edward._

I smiled and instantly jumped into his arms. I was almost afraid he would reject me. He didn't. He just wrapped his arms around me and held me close.

"I'm sorry." I whispered showering his neck with kisses. I heard him moan and I couldn't help but smile. He was trying to say something but I was distracting him. Then everything stopped because I heard Masen behind us. I let unwrapped my legs from around Edward and looked at my son. He looked hurt.

"I hoped you wouldn't come back." He grumbled and walked stiffly towards the kitchen. I went to go talk to him but Edward stopped me and said he would. I wasn't sure about that but the look in Edward's eyes made me agree.

I paced the living room waiting for some sort of blow out from the kitchen. Then I heard it.

Masen yelling at his father. My heart sank and I hoped that whatever he was saying wasn't hurtful towards Edward.

From the way Masen stalked out of the kitchen I knew he said something bad. Edward wasn't far behind him. He just gave me a smile and kiss on the forehead.

"I don't want to cause problems, Bella. I think it'd be best if we didn't see each other." I couldn't believe his words. What was he thinking? Did he really think I could live without him again. I wasn't sure what to say but when I went to speak he put a finger over my lips to stop me.

"Maybe one day this will work but right now he needs you more then you need me." He placed another kiss on my forehead and left me standing there shocked. Just moments before we were wrapped in a heated kiss. Now he was telling me he didn't want to see me anymore.

My heart broke. I wondered if I did the wrong thing in not speaking to him for the past three weeks. But I didn't want him to see me so broken, so vulnerable.

I wasn't going to sulk. I wasn't going to let this get to me, even if on the inside I was broken I wasn't going to let it show.

I cleaned the kitchen before walking into the living room and cleaning it too. It helped me keep occupied so I wouldn't think so much.

I was more then tired when I fell into bed that night.

I fell instantly to sleep.

-

I wasn't in the mood to be at work but I plastered a smile to my face anyway. One of the nurses asked if that was my fake smile and I couldn't help but laugh. I told her she shouldn't know that smile. She just laughed with me and it felt good to be able to laugh like that again.

Rosalie showed up a couple of hours later showing off her almost nine month belly. I couldn't believe she was so big.

"Bella, I know you're going through a lot right now but…Emmett and I haven't had any alone time in months and I was wondering…" She bit down on her lip. It wasn't like Rosalie to choose her words so carefully.

"Of course I'll watch Katherine." I told her. She gave me as much of a hug as she possibly could before telling me she'd drop her daughter off at six.

Watching Katherine seemed like a good way to spend my evening.

Once again Masen wasn't home when I got there and once again he wasn't answering his phone. I gave up after the third try.

He still wasn't home by six o'clock when Rosalie got there with Katherine. I couldn't believe someone could look so amazing being that pregnant.

"Where's my favorite nephew?" Rose asked before leaving. I just shrugged and told her I had no idea. She looked at me strangely because she knew that wasn't like Masen to not tell me where he'd be. He used to never want me to worry, how had that exactly change?

She gave Katherine a kiss and said they wouldn't be too late, they were only going out to dinner. I nodded and told her to have a good time.

The three year old sat down on the floor with her toys. I switched on cartoon's and sat down on the couch watching her. She looked so intense playing with her toys that I couldn't help but laugh. She started to yell at one of her baby dolls and I asked why. She said that Molly was being mean.

I raised an eyebrow. I wondered if I could have handled a daughter. Talking to their dolls seemed a bit odd to me, but I just had to think that it was possible that I used to do that at her age.

"I hungry." Katherine looked up at me. I gave her a smile and asked what she wanted. She said grilled cheese. That suddenly made my stomach drop. I thought of Edward and…no I wasn't going to do that. I would happily agree to make the little girl some grilled cheese and push Edward to the back of my mind.

She sat happily at the table and ate the sandwich.

"Where's Masen?" She said in a sweet voice.

"He should be home soon, Sweetie." I smiled at her. She nodded her head. She started to sing Itsy Bitsy Spider which I couldn't help but giggled at.

By eight Rosalie and Emmett were walking through my front door. I figured they'd be out a little longer. I also knew that Rose was probably tired, being pregnant took a lot out of you.

Emmett scooped Katherine up and blew a raspberry on her stomach. She giggled. I thought of how he used to do that when Masen was her age. Mase had the cutest giggle when Emmett did that.

"Thanks, Bella." She smiled rubbing circles on her stomach. "Is he back yet?"

"Who?" Emmett asked.

"No, he's not answering his phone either." I sighed.

"Masen?" Emmett looked at me. I nodded. "That's not like him." He frowned.

They left soon after. I told them not to worry about Masen that I was sure he would show up.

He did. Way past midnight.

My son stumbled through the front door.

He was drunk. I couldn't believe this.

I stood up and asked him where he had been. He wouldn't answer me but I kept asking questions. I could not freaking believe this.

This was not my son.

He didn't say a word to me instead just stumbling up the stairs. I yelled after him but it didn't work.

I called Emmett. I didn't know who else to call. I didn't want to wake Charlie and well I couldn't call Edward.

He answered the phone sounding tired but he said he'd be on his way.

I pointed towards the stairs when he walked in.

I was freaking out just like I had been the day before waiting for yelling coming from Masen. I didn't hear anything. Instead I saw Emmett come down the stairs with Masen behind him.

"We're going for a drive." Emmett told me and I just nodded.

I had no idea what else to do. I hadn't had time to be like this as a teenager. I grew up so quickly…so this was all new to me.

They were back two hours later. It was almost two by that then. Masen just walked up the stairs under Emmett's glare.

"I think he's going to be alright." Emmett sighed.

"What'd you do?" I asked.

"Took him to the station. Showed him what happened to people when they drank. Then talked to him about how he's been treating you."

"Thanks Emmett, I appreciate it but…is this something I did? I mean did I do something wrong in raising him?"

"No, Bells. You've done everything right. He's just hurting right now, he's just acting out."

I knew Emmett was right but I couldn't help but still feel like it was my fault_._


	16. Chapter 16

Edward's POV starting with his fight with Masen ending with Masen's drunken mistake. I started writing this chapter and I couldn't seem to make myself stop but I think it ended at a good point. :)

Chapter 16

I had to see her. I had to make things right with Masen. I wasn't going to give up this time. There was no way I could let them get away from me again.

I had called Lane to come watch Alexa. Then rushed as quickly as possible to Bella's house.

I was almost expecting her to reject me. I was surprised when she jumped right into my arms showering me with kisses.

She kept saying she was sorry over and over again.

I had everything planned in my head what I would say to the both of them but after hearing Masen's cold voice saying that he hoped I wouldn't come back…that's when I lost all words.

The look on his face. The way he looked disgusted with me. It hurt but could I really blame him? I shouldn't have expected him to let me into his life so quickly.

Bella had started to follow him to the kitchen but I stopped her saying that I would talk to him. She shook her head at first but told me to go ahead.

I kissed her forehead.

Masen was sitting on the counter drinking from a glass.

"Did she send you in here?" His voice was just as cold as before.

"No, actually I came in here to talk to you myself." I kept my distance. He didn't move from his spot on the counter which I took as a good sign.

"That was stupid." He replied.

"Masen, I know what you're going through is hard…"

"Don't. Do not say my name like you know me or this situation. You know nothing." He jumped off of the counter. "We've done just fine without you, Edward. My mom doesn't need you and neither do I. You left her, you'll just do it again."

"Masen, I will never leave you two ever again." I tried but he snapped his head at me.

"That's a lie and you know it. You'll leave when you find something better or you'll die just like everyone else!" He was now yelling at me but I wasn't going to let him leave without him understanding everything.

"Do you really think that?" I asked.

"It's the truth and the sooner you and Mom realize it the better."

"You're my son and…" I was going to say that I wanted to be in their lives, even if I hadn't been before. I was going to say how sorry I was and that I wanted to help him and Bella through this time in their lives.

"I am not your son, you were just the sperm donor."

"Don't say that." I ran my hand through my hair taking a deep breath. This wasn't the Masen I had met over three weeks ago. This was a totally different kid.

"Go away, Edward!" I stepped back from the look on his face. He stormed past me and that's when I started wondering if he was right. If I should just go away. I would just go so Masen and Bella could get through this together. Maybe he was right they didn't need me, not like I needed them. After all they had made it for so long without me.

That's when I walked back to Bella. I kissed her on her forehead taking in her smell one last time.

"I don't want to cause problems, Bella. I think it'd be best if we didn't see each other." I couldn't believe I was saying this and from the look on her face neither could she.

This was killing me but for some reason I felt it was the only thing I could do for them right now.

"Maybe one day this will work but right now he needs you more then you need me." I kissed her forehead one last time trying to keep any tears I felt from falling. I had to do this.

I couldn't help but want to wrap her in my arms and be selfish. I wanted to tell her we'd figure it out together. I had to stop myself. This was something she needed to do on her own. Something that even I couldn't get her through, or so I made myself believe.

I had to push myself to turn away from her.

I felt empty once I got into my car. I had left her standing there looking so hurt.

She would realize it soon that right now Masen needed her and soon enough we could work together again, but not until our son was better.

I don't think I'll help matters in him getting any better.

Lane was sitting in the kitchen feeding Alexa some yogurt when I walked in. Alexa was giggling wildly and I couldn't help but crack a smile at my little girl.

As much as I was hurting she could somehow make that all go away from just a look at her.

"How's Masen doing, Mr. Cullen?" Lane asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

"He's been better." I ran my hand through my hair not wanting to rehash the nights events.

"He won't speak to me anymore, said that he cared too much about me to let me be in his life." She sounded sad. I didn't know what to say and I was thankful when she stood up not waiting for me to answer her. "Well, Mr. Cullen, Lex has been fed and washed." She smiled.

"Thanks, Lane."

"Anytime, Mr. Cullen. I love watching Lex. And the money's not bad either." She smiled before turning around leaving my daughter and I alone.

"How about we get you to bed?" I turned to Alexa and picked her up out of her highchair. She giggled again before snuggling into me. Before I even made it upstairs to her room she was sleeping.

"Night, angel." I whispered and kissed the top of her head after placing her in her crib. She didn't stir a bit just drifted further into her sleep.

I walked out of her room and took a deep breath. I was alone with my thoughts again and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.

I went back downstairs to clean up the kitchen before I went to bed.

I couldn't believe what was happening. I was finally getting my Bella back. I leaned all of my weight against the counter gripping it tightly. I was angry at myself.

I couldn't handle being awake any longer. I thought I'd fall right to sleep but it was quite the opposite. Tossing and turning until two hours later, but my dreams weren't much better.

* * *

I woke up with someone hovering over me. I rubbed at my eyes before registering who it was. My first instinct was to jump up and start yelling. I had stopped when I realized it was Jasper's wife Alice.

"Edward Cullen, you are a very stupid man." She glared at me with her finger pointed in my face. I was far too tired to protest or even care that she was yelling at me.

"Why are you here, Alice?" I mumbled hoping she'd just go away and let me sleep longer.

"I'm here to let you know how dumb you are. Do you really believe you're doing the right thing?" I knew what she was talking about but I wasn't wanting to talk to her about it.

"Go away."

"Not until you tell me why you're doing this to my best friend! You didn't see her the past sixteen years Edward. You weren't around to see how depressed she would get some days. You weren't there through her pregnancy to know how difficult it was or how broken she and Masen were after Renee died. They needed you then and they need you now. This is your chance to make up for all those years and here you are blowing it by acting like a five year old!" She hadn't taken a breath the whole time she was yelling at me.

"They need to work this out without me." I said not looking at her.

"You believe that? If you really do then you are a lot more dumb then I thought you were." She snorted.

"You didn't see him, Alice. You didn't hear the things he was saying. He's hurt and Bella needs to completely focus on piecing him back together." I sat up.

"You need to be there too, Edward. Show them both that no matter what you wouldn't leave. They need to know that you're here to stay and when things get tough that you aren't going to flee like you're trying to do right now."

"I am not trying to flee, Alice. I am giving Bella time…"

"I think Bella has had plenty of time, Edward." She growled.

"She blocked me out for three weeks…"

"You still tried every single day of those three weeks, Edward. You had her believing you would always be there and then you just take it away like this?" She sure liked to interrupt me.

"Alice, I think he's had enough." I heard Jasper. I looked behind Alice and saw my cousin standing in my doorway holding Alexa.

"I don't think so, Jasper. I'll know when he's had enough." I've never seen her snap at him like that before.

"You shouldn't get so upset with the baby…" Wait, baby? Alice is pregnant? "Just calm down and then in an hour you can jump on his case again." He reasoned. I rolled my eyes. Alice seemed to take this and hopped off of my bed walking angrily past her husband. Jasper shook his head watching her leave the room. "She's a very determined woman."

"She's always been that way." I ran my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, but she's right. They need you." Jasper walked over and handed me Alexa. She snuggled under my covers and before I knew it she was fast asleep. I wondered what was making her sleep so much.

"Do they, Jasper?" I turned back to him.

"They always have. They always will." He shrugged. "Get up and get dressed. Alice will be back to hound you in an hour." He chuckled.

I groaned and fell back into my bed. Alexa hadn't stirred. I sighed and let my eyes close.

Before I knew it Alice was back in my room. She wasn't yelling at me instead she was holding Lex. My daughter seemed to be sleeping still.

"I think she's sick." Alice whispered. "She has a fever." I watched as my cousin-in-law cradled my daughter. She would make a good mother, even if she was a bit nutty at times. "And don't think our little talk is over with." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Here, let me see her." I hopped out of bed and she handed Alexa over to me. She did seem to have a fever. I wasn't sure what to do, I'd never had to deal with Alexa being sick before. She was always such a healthy baby.

My first instinct was to call Bella but I had to stop myself. Instead I asked Alice what to do.

"Give her some medicine, you do have baby Tylenol right?"

"There should be some in the cabinet, but she's never been sick before." Alexa sniffled and coughed. She opened her eyes. She looked downright miserable. I cuddled her close to me.

"I'll go check. We have to keep her hydrated and it'd be a good idea for you to take her to the doctor's." Alice stayed calm. I wasn't feeling as calm about this. She was my baby girl and it hurt me just to see her with a little cold, I sure hoped this was just a cold.

"Oh, yeah good idea." I nodded. I took Alexa downstairs with me. She was crying now and I wasn't sure what to do about that. Alice held out her arms and took Alexa upstairs to give her a warm bath. I was thankful for Alice but I wanted more then anything for Bella to be by my side through this. I wonder if she was a mess whenever Masen got sick?

"Alice said you have no baby Tylenol. I'll run to the store, need anything else?" Jasper asked grabbing his keys.

"Not that I know of." I shrugged. I didn't know what to give a child when they were sick. Alexa was the first baby I had ever been around. Which made me even more scared when she was an infant. I felt like I was going to break her and sometimes I still felt that way.

How had I not noticed that she wasn't feeling well? She seemed to be happy and giggling the night before.

A few hours later we were at the doctor's. Alice had joined but she kept reminding me that this wasn't for me, that she was worried about Alexa. She also kept reminding me that I wasn't going to get out of another talk. More like another session of Alice yelling at me and me trying to keep calm.

The doctor came in and said Alexa had the flu. He assured me that children get sick like this all the time. I told him she had never been sick before. He prescribed her some medicine. I still wasn't feeling right about it even after we left the doctor's. Something else seemed to be wrong.

At home Alexa had finally been able to get back to sleep. Alice had gone home to eat. Jasper had stayed behind with me saying that my TV was bigger then his and there was a really interesting show coming on the History Channel.

I didn't mind, the company kept me from worrying so much. It also kept me from letting my thoughts drift to Bella and Masen.

* * *

I was woken by a phone call later that night.

Alexa was sleeping soundly due to the Tylenol. I hoped that the sound wouldn't wake her up.

_"Edward, I think you should get down to the station."_ Emmett hadn't even given me time to say hello.

"Why, what's wrong?" I hadn't registered what he had said at first.

_"You get down here, I'll explain everything and you'll see why."_

"Lex is sick, I can't just leave her here."

_"Rose is on her way."_ I still wasn't sure but from the sound of Emmett's voice something was wrong.

I threw on some clothes and by the time I was ready Rosalie was standing at my door with a sleeping Katherine.

"I am risking my health and my babies health for you, Edward. I am also giving up my sleep." She grumbled at me. I thanked her and said I should be long but she snorted and told me to hurry up.

I got there as fast as I could.

I still wasn't sure what the urgency was.

I walked in. I could hear Emmett's booming voice. I noticed that what he was saying was directed towards Masen. I took a deep breath walking over towards the both of them. Masen looked just as miserable as Alexa had earlier.

"I need to puke." He said as I approached. Emmett glared at him and grabbed a trashcan and thrust it towards him.

"What's going on?" I asked Emmett.

"Well, your son here thought it'd be a good idea to drink an excessive amount of alcohol." I saw Masen flinch at Emmett calling him my son.

"What? Why?" I still kept my questions directed towards Emmett. I wondered if Bella had seen him like this. She must have been scared to death if she had.

"He thought it would erase his problems." Emmett snatched the trashcan from Masen after he was finished hurling. The smell was awful. "He needs to know that it doesn't. People die from shit like this. Drunk driving and I know that he drove like this since his truck wasn't there when I went over there earlier." Emmett looked at me before glaring back over at Masen. Masen had his eyes closed.

Once again I was at a loss of what I should do.

"I'm not that drunk." Masen slurred.

Emmett snorted. "You are and you know it."

"Why'd you do this, kid?" I asked him. Masen opened his eyes and glared at me.

"Don't talk to me." He snarled. I just shook my head and brought a chair up to sit in front of him.

"I want to talk to you about the way you've been treating your mother. Then I'm showing you pictures of what this could do to you. Then I want you to tell me how you got the alcohol." Emmett brought a chair over too. His voice seemed to get louder every time he spoke. "And don't talk to your father like that."

"He's not my father, he wasn't there." Masen snapped again causing me to feel like a failure.

"So, why are you taking all of this out on Bella?" I asked him.

"I'm not."

"You sure about that?" Emmett asked him. "You think coming home drunk in the middle of the night, on a school night, is not taking this out on her?"

"She'll get over it." I widened my eyes. I couldn't believe he was talking about the woman who raised him.

Emmett stood up and grabbed his shirt. He picked Masen up from his chair causing the boy to widened his eyes and choke.

"You are an ungrateful brat, you know that? She's done everything in her power to make your life perfect and you repay her like this?" Emmett let him slump back into the chair. Emmett stayed standing up hovering over Masen. I couldn't help but think that was my job. I should be the one getting on to him like that. I stood up next to Emmett.

"I…" Masen adverted his eyes. He looked like he was going to be sick again. I made a quick dive for the trashcan before he could throw up all over himself and us. He took the trashcan.

The next two hours were spent with us grilling Masen about everything. He still didn't seem to be any better even after Emmett's yelling. I had finally gotten out of my daze and started yelling at him too. I felt a little guilty about it at first but then I thought of Bella. I thought of how she must be feeling at that moment.

The pictures Emmett showed Masen made me sick. I couldn't think about that kid getting hurt like that. I had this sudden urge to protect him and for the first time I actually felt like his father.

He wouldn't tell Emmett where he got the alcohol and after awhile Emmett gave up on asking him.

Masen kept glaring at me still through his drunken state. Once we were leaving the station he seemed the alcohol seemed to be wearing off.

"Thanks, Edward." Emmett sighed once he put Masen in the back of his police car. I felt a pang in my chest seeing him in there.

"No problem, he's my son…I should have been here to begin with." I sighed running my hand through my hair.

"I think he'll come around but in the meantime I think it's be good if you stuck around with them. He might be rebelling right now but you need to show him that you are there. He needs a father in his life even if he doesn't think he does right now."

Emmett was right. This side of Emmett was strange to see. I was used to the fun loving Emmett, this mature Emmett was something totally different but not in a bad way.

I went home thinking about Masen, thinking about my Bella.

I had to make this better. Everyone was right, they did need me even if I was too stubborn to realize that. They had always needed me and here I was letting them down.

I went home to find Rosalie and Katherine passed out on my couch. Rosalie looked like she was having a terrible sleep. She opened her eyes as soon as I shut the front door.

"She slept the whole time. You owe me, Cullen." She growled. I went over and picked Katherine up for her and brought her out to Rose's car. "I hope you have opened your eyes now." She said before taking off towards her house.

I'm pretty sure I did.

I hoped to God I could make this better.


	17. Chapter 17

I know this is short. To make up for how short this is I will be posting another chapter tonight and then possibly another tomorrow. Once again sorry for the shortness.

Chapter 17

I held my head in my hands as I looked down at the calendar in front of me. Almost five weeks since I had made love with Edward. During those five weeks I should have had my period. I took a deep breath.

I wasn't pregnant, I couldn't be. It was just the stress that had me skipping it.

Just as I thought this I had to run to the bathroom. Morning sickness.

_No. _I was just scared, that's what this was. People throw up when they are scared.

I left the bathroom to be met by my son. Suddenly I became nervous, I wasn't even sure why. He was holding his head with his eyes shut.

"Hangover?" I quirked an eyebrow. I started to feel terrible for saying that. He had gone through so much…but was it really that bad to get drunk the night before?

This is another reason why I can't be pregnant. I already had one kid that I needed to fully focus on.

Then there was the fact that once again I would be having this baby and raising it alone. Without Edward.

What am I thinking? I don't even know if I am pregnant.

"Is it supposed to hurt this bad?" He grumbled out. I let out a small laugh watching him squint against the sunlight coming through the hall window.

"I have no sympathy for you, kid." I sighed patting him on the shoulder and walking away. After leaving Masen in the hall I rushed downstairs and out my backdoor with my cell phone in hand.

I had to call Alice. She had been the first person I called over sixteen years ago upon realizing the same thing I had just realized moments before.

"_Hey, Bella." _She sounded cheerful. I was about to ask but I figured I'd ask her later. I needed her to do me a favor right now.

"Alice, can you do me a favor?"

"_Of course."_

"I need a pregnancy test." I shut my eyes. I spoke those same words all those years ago.

"_Oh no, Bella." _She sighed. _"I'll be there in half an hour." _

* * *

"This is just stress, right?" I glanced up at Alice as I sat on the closed toilet seat in my bathroom. Alice looked just as nervous as I did. "I can't be pregnant, right?"

She wasn't answering me. She just kept glancing at the timer that sat on the sink. I then looked over at the five tests that sat next to the timer. I wanted to check so badly but the timer said another two minutes.

"Alice, say something." I looked up at her once again. She just stood there twisting her hands together. I remember that same look on her face when I took these tests almost seventeen years ago.

We sat in silence until the timer went off.

I needed to know but I couldn't bring myself to look.

"You do it." I said getting off of the toilet and walking close to the door. Alice nodded and walked slowly over to the sink.

I watched as she looked at each test carefully. She turned towards me.

"It's positive. All of them." She whispered. In the next second Alice had crossed the room and gathered me in her arms.

I wasn't going to be sad about this. A child was a gift, even if it wasn't the right time right now. I couldn't help but cry though.

Alice held me close trying to sooth me.

"This feels familiar." She laughed pulling away from me a little. I nodded and wiped at my eyes. "What are you going to do, Bells?"

"I don't know yet." I shook my head.

"Can I ask you something Bella?" She bit down on her lower lip. I nodded. "Is it Edwards?"

It had to be. I hadn't had sex with Jacob in months. I would have already been a couple of months pregnant at this point. Plus, I had my period the month before.

"I think so." I nodded. "Jake and I…we haven't done _that _in months." I told her.

"Oh, alright. You should make an appointment with your doctor, that way you can really know for sure." She said. I nodded and we both left the bathroom.

Two days from now I would truly know if I was in fact pregnant or not. Even if each of those tests said I was there was a still a possibility that I wasn't. They could have all been wrong.

_Yeah right._

After Alice left I found myself curled up in the fetal position in my bed.

How was I going to do this without Edward, again? I wasn't sure I was strong enough for this again. I needed him to be in this with me. I needed him more then I've ever needed him before in my entire life.

I wanted him to go through this with me. I wanted to share this experience with me, the experience he should have already had years ago.

* * *

It only took ten minutes for me to realize that he needed to be the next person I told.

If things were different he would have been the first, but things weren't different. They were exactly the same as they had been when I was pregnant the first time. Except Edward was in the same town as me and not miles away.

I hopped into my truck and found myself driving towards Edward's place.

I hesitated at his front door. I had so much confidence before but now…it all seemed to drift away.

I turned away from the door and jumped back into my truck.

I couldn't do this yet. Not until I really knew for sure


	18. Chapter 18

The only thing i know about pregnancy is from the Discovery Health Channel and movies. So it's possible that I got this all wrong, sorry about that. Anyway, I wanted to know what you guys thought of a chapter with Masen'sPOV. Thanks to everyone for the reviews and alerts! You guys are awesome.

Chapter 18

I let my legs dangle off of the edge of the exam table as I waited for my doctor come into the room.

Two days ago I took a pregnancy test. Two days ago my life instantly changed.

Masen's been speaking to me a little more the past couple of days. I had to tell him about the possible pregnancy. There was no way I'd keep this from him. He hadn't said much just asked if Edward would be an idiot this time around, if this kid would have the father he didn't have. I had just given him a smile and tried to put my hand on top of his but he wasn't having it. But I couldn't help but think that maybe my son was coming back. There was something in his eyes that hadn't been there for the past few weeks. I could only hope.

"Ms. Swan." Dr. Henderson walked into the room with a bright smile on her face.

"Please call me Bella." I said nervously. This woman held my fate in that folder.

"Alright, Bella." She smiled again. "You've taken a home pregnancy test I take it?" I nodded. Once I got here a nurse had made me pee in a cup. Now I was just waiting on the doctor to give me the news. I really hoped she would just cut to the chase now. "Your suspicions are right on, Bella. You are indeed pregnant."

I took a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" I asked. Dr. Henderson let out a laugh.

"I am sure." She nodded. Then she began telling me about all of the precautions, of course I already knew everything. She asked me if this was my first child. I told her all about Masen and how he had changed my life.

Two weeks from now I would get to see the baby for the first time. I had always loved ultrasounds when I was pregnant with Masen.

After the appointment I realized I really liked this doctor, I hoped she'd be the one to deliver my new baby.

_New baby. _

I think for the first time it just all clicked. I am pregnant.

_Five weeks pregnant._

Dear God, what am I going to do now?

-

I usually love Fridays but today I just couldn't get into the swing of things at work. My mind was constantly on the baby I was carrying.

Victoria seemed to be extra bitchy, if that's even possible. She was barking orders at me like there was no tomorrow. I was tired before the first hour was even up.

"Bella, room five." Victoria came behind me scaring me to death. Room five. Michael's room.

"Victoria, I can't go in there." I told her shaking. "Can I get another nurse to cover that room for me?" I asked her.

"Just do what I say." She turned around and walked off.

"Bella, I'll get it." Angela Webber smiled at me from the nurses station. She had worked at the hospital as long as I had. She was possibly the sweetest person I had ever met.

"Thanks, Ange." I sighed giving her a smile.

"No problem." She smiled brightly walking off towards the room.

I walked over to the nurses station and sat down. My whole body was aching, possibly from the exam the doctor had to do on me.

"Bella!" I looked up to see a smiling Rosalie. She was only three weeks away from having her baby. She looked as if she were ready to pop.

"Hey Rose." I smiled standing up and walking over to her. "Can we take a walk? I can go on break."

Rosalie nodded and I told one of the secretaries that I'd be back in ten.

Rose seemed to waddle more then walk. I couldn't help but imagine how eight months from now I'd be in that same position.

"I need to sit." She grumbled walking over to a bench. I just laughed and sat down beside her. "What's going on, Bells? You look like shit." I rolled my eyes. Alice said the same thing earlier when I visited her before I went to work. I told her that I was indeed pregnant, she then jumped up and down saying how exciting it was going to be being pregnant together. I wondered how her mood seemed to change from when I was taking the pregnancy tests, but I didn't question it. I just smiled at her and nodded.

"I'm pregnant." I blurted out. I didn't look at Rose instead just keeping my eyes in front of me.

"You're joking, right?"

"Nope. I'm five weeks pregnant with Edward's child, once again. Now, I just have to tell Edward and hope to God he wants to help me through this, even if we aren't together. At least I want this baby to have a father." I touched my stomach lightly. I couldn't believe all of this. I was still in complete and total shock.

"Wow." She breathed out. "Edward's sperm is very persistent." She laughed.

"It seems that way." I laughed with her. "Rose, what am I going to do?" I stopped laughing and looked at her seriously.

"You're going to be a grown up about this and actually tell Edward this time. You're going to get through this, Bella. I can promise you that." She took my hand and squeezed it. "Plus, since I'm naming my little baby after you then you have to have a girl so you can name her after me."

"Is that so?"

"Unless you want to name your son Rosalie, then by all means go for it."

"I think I'll pass on that one." I smiled before standing up. "I need to get back."

"I need to check on my patients and see this bitch of a doctor you keep telling me about." Rose laughed.

"You should go home and rest, you know that right?" I furrowed my brow at her.

"You'd understand why I need to do this if you lived with Emmett twenty-four seven." She grumbled and started waddling back towards the hospital. I just shook my head and followed her in.

"Bella!" I heard my name being yelled from behind me. I knew that voice. Rosalie turned around before I could. Her face brightened. I knew it could only be one person. I finally turned around to be faced with the man I've always loved.

"I'll tell them you're going to be a little later." Rose said before leaving us alone.

I nodded at her then turned back towards Edward. He had a smile on his face. I didn't know what he was doing here. He was the one that didn't want to be with me. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be looking at me the way he is right now.

"What are you doing here?" I folded my arms across my chest. I knew that I'd have to tell him now that I was pregnant. I couldn't hold it from him any long, I wouldn't.

"I needed to see you, Bella." He stepped forward but I stepped back.

"For what?"

"I'm sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that you and Masen really needed that time alone but after seeing him down at the station the other night…" Wait, he was down at the station? Emmett hadn't mentioned that Edward was there and neither had Masen.

"You were there?" I choked out interrupting him.

"Yeah, I was. Emmett called me." He was out of breath so I pointed towards the bench that Rose and I had just been sitting on. "Bella, I need you in my life. You need me. Masen needs me. I need to be in Masen's life, too."

"That might be true, Edward but how do I know that you're going to just leave again? Three days ago you told me you didn't want to be with me because you thought that both Masen and I didn't need you. We do, Edward. You were completely and totally wrong. How could you not see that?"

"I can see it now, Bells." He reached for my hand and took it in his. "I want to try this again, I promise you I won't leave. I promise I'll show you and Masen both that I'm there for you two."

I just sighed and ran my other hand through my hair. I wasn't sure what to do. I loved this man and I wanted nothing more then to forgive him for the other day.

I couldn't though, not yet.

"I need to tell you something, Edward." I shut my eyes before speaking again. "I'm pregnant and it's yours." My voice wavered a little. I kept my eyes closed as I let him digest what I just said.

"You're…you're…pregnant?" I opened my eyes to see a bright smile on his face.

"Yes, and I want you in our lives, Edward but right now I just want our relationship to be about the kids. I still want you and me but right now I think this is best." I said trying to sound confident in my choice. This was the right thing to do, sooner or later I'd be able to trust Edward enough to have a relationship with him other then just our kids.

"If that's what you want, I won't let you down. Bella, look at me." He put his finger under my chin to lift it up so I would look into his eyes. In that moment I wanted to kiss him so bad but I had to stop myself. "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked confused.

"For letting me share this with you. I promise not to let you down. I will show you I won't leave again." His eyes looked so sincere.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." I whispered.

"This promise I intend to keep, love."

I hoped he would keep his promise to always be there for us. I needed him to keep it. I didn't know if I'd be strong enough to go through with this pregnancy if he didn't.

I knew that if I really had to I would raise this baby alone just like I had with Masen but I hoped that I wouldn't have to.

With the way Edward was looking at me right now I knew I wouldn't have to.

Before he left he hugged me and thanked me again. He was more excited about this baby then I had ever seen him in his life.

Seeing him like that got me excited.


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you for the reviews. :) I just want you to know that right now Edward and Bella are going to be in the just friends stage, although they were never and could never be _just friends_. Edward still has to show Bella that he won't leave. That will take some time.

Chapter 19

I walked through my front door later that night and threw my keys on the coffee table. The light was on in the kitchen so I walked towards it.

"What took you so long to get here?" Masen stood up from the table. Sitting next to him was Jacob. I didn't remember seeing his car in the driveway. Then again Jacob only lived five minutes from us so he could have just walked like he normally did.

"I was working." I raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing here, Jacob?" I looked at him. I saw Masen shrug before leaving me alone with Jake. I really wished he hadn't left. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Jacob Black right now. I had a long day and I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep.

"Bells, I thought we could talk." He gave me a grin as he stood up from the table.

"About?" I sat down in a chair. I started taking off my shoes.

"Us." My eyes widened at this. Us?

"Jake, there is no us." I sat up straight forgetting about my hurting feet.

"There could be. Just take a chance with me, Bella. Edward left you once how do you know he won't leave you again?" I could not believe him.

"Jacob, I'm having Edward's baby. There will never be an us. I already told you that we'll always just be friends." I sighed watching his face as he took in my news.

"Baby?" He sat down and put his head in his hands. "Are you sure it's not mine?" He lifted up his head with hope.

"I'm sure, Jake. I'm only five weeks along." I leaned forward and put my hand on his arm. "And as for Edward leaving again, I have a feeling he won't. There's too much for him to leave now." I sighed and took my hand back.

"He's stupid if he does leave again." He sighed. I gave him a sad smile. "There's nothing I wouldn't give to have this life with you."

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"It's fine, Bells. I just want you to be happy." He stood up. "I just hoped it'd be with me." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "Bye Bella." He gave me a small wave.

"Bye Jacob." I returned the wave. I watched as he walked away. I took a deep breath and resumed taking off my shoes.

After my shoes were off I looked up to find Masen standing in front of me. He looked as if he had something to say so I sat up straight and prepared myself for whatever my son was about to say to me.

"How'd the doctor's go?" He asked looking me in the eye and then looking away.

"Well, you're going to be a big brother in eight months." I sighed leaning back feeling a little bit of relief that he wasn't yelling at me.

"So, it is Edward's?" He asked sitting in the chair at the other end of the table. He looked calm, that reassured me even more that he would be okay with this.

"Yes." I nodded resting my hand on my stomach. I felt weird being pregnant again, but a good kind of weird.

"Mom…are you getting back with Edward now?" He asked a little nervously.

"No, not yet. I want to focus on you and this baby, Alexa too." I gave him a smile. He just nodded his head. He got up from the table and walked towards the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water and hopped up on the counter. I watched him intently.

"Do you mind if I go out?" He asked. "I'm sorry about how I've been acting…"

"You're grounded until next Friday." I sighed.

"I can take that." He nodded hopping off of the counter and walking out of the kitchen.

"Masen, wait." I called after him getting up from the chair. I walked up to him and pulled him into my arms. I hugged my son with everything in me. No matter what he did I would always love him. "I love you, kid."

"I love you too, Ma." He kissed my cheek before giving me a smile and walking away.

There was hope after all. I smiled and put my hand back on my stomach.

I could do this. We could do this.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling better then I have felt in a long time. My life felt like it was all falling into place. This is the way everything was supposed to be, minus me not being more with Edward. There was time for that later.

He still had so much to prove to me.

I pulled on a t-shirt and some shorts before making my way downstairs. I could smell something cooking before I even reached the kitchen.

Edward and Masen were in the kitchen making breakfast. The sight before me almost made me cry. Alexa was sitting in a highchair that I figured Edward brought over for her. I didn't want this moment to stop so I just stood there until Alexa noticed me.

She started wailing and flailing her arms at me. I walked over and picked her up kissing her small cheek.

"Good Morning, Lex." I whispered. Edward turned away from the stove to look at me. "Morning, boys." I smiled at them keeping Alexa in my arms.

"You're up." Masen turned around then with a strange expression on his face. "Go back to bed." He pointed sounding stern.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Just go back, Love." Edward chuckled.

"Fine but Lex is coming with me." I huffed. I could hear Masen and Edward talking as I left the kitchen. I smiled to myself. I loved this more then anything.

I sat Alexa on my bed before crawling in next to her. She crawled into my lap sticking her thumb in her mouth. I ran my hand through her soft curls. She just snuggled closer to me. Before too long she had fallen back to sleep.

The door of my bedroom opened with Masen carrying in a tray. I couldn't contain my excitement at how great the two most important men in my life were getting along.

Edward walked over and scooped Alexa out of my arms. Masen sat the tray on my lap. Sitting in front of me was a stack of pancakes, orange juice, a muffin and a vase holding a rose.

"You two did this?" I smiled.

"Yes, now eat up." Masen sat down on the bed.

"Thanks." I smiled before digging into the food. Edward returned moments later without Alexa.

"You like it?" He quirked an eyebrow at me. I just laughed and told him I loved it. He bent over and kissed my forehead. "Masen's agreed to watch Alexa today. Lane's got something going on and I have to head to Seattle." I scooted over a little so Edward could sit down next to me.

"For what?" I questioned.

"I have some things to do there."

"What kind of things?" I pried. He chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, you just enjoy your breakfast and before you know if I'll be back." He kissed my forehead again before standing up. "Thanks, Mase." He smiled at our son. My heart skipped a beat at this.

After Edward left I looked intently at Masen.

"Alright, kid. Spill." I pointed my syrupy fork at him. Masen gave me a smile and took my fork from me. He took a bite of my pancakes. "So, you're not going to tell me what happened? Just days before Edward was your enemy."

"The other night, you know when Uncle Emmett took me to the station. Well, Edward showed up and for once in my life I realized that I had a father. I wasn't sure at first if I wanted to let him in my life. Lately things are just…a lot to deal with. Any way he came over this morning and asked if I wanted to help him with breakfast." He shrugged. "And I realized that I have to accept him in my life whether I want to or not."

"Despite some of your choices, you're a good kid you know that?" I leaned back against the headboard. I was full and could barely keep my eyes open. I hadn't had such a good breakfast in so long.

"Just because I'm letting him in my life doesn't mean I have to like him." He furrowed his brow then his face smoothed out and he gave me a smile.

"You'll like him soon enough. He's not leaving us again, Mase."

"I can't believe that yet." He sighed.

* * *

"Bella!" Alice's voice rang though my house. I groaned and walked out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I glanced at the clock on the wall realizing that It was past three in the afternoon and Edward still hadn't returned yet.

Alexa was a very happy baby. She played alone wonderfully, not at all like Masen. My son had to be entertained constantly besides when he was sleeping. Good thing Alice and Jasper were around a lot. If not I would have been constantly exhausted.

"God, Bella when do you not look a mess?" She rolled her eyes at me. I looked down at myself. I was wearing jeans and a tank top, there was nothing wrong with that. My hair was down like normal, I hadn't bothered with any make-up. I had no one to impress today.

"Hello, Alice." I gave her a smile. I heard Alexa yelling. Masen was walking down the stairs behind me. The little girl reached her arms out to me. I happily took her. She snuggled her face into my neck.

"That is the cutest thing ever!" Alice squealed. I just laughed. Alexa pulled away from me and giggled. "Jasper and I are cooking tonight. Just thought I'd let you know that you need to be at my house by five. Rose and Emmett will be there and be sure to tell Edward he's invited too." Alice smiled talking fast.

"I'll be there." I smiled knowing that I really didn't have a choice in the matter.

"Oh and I've invited Charlie and Sue as well." She smiled. I nodded. Good, that way I could tell them both about the baby, they could also meet Alexa. Charlie would probably wouldn't be happy about me letting Edward back into my life but I would just have to remind him that this was my choice and I was a grown woman. "I'll see you guys later." Alice waved enthusiastically.

"Do I have to go?" Masen groaned. I laughed and turned to him.

"Of course you do. You're grounded you have to do what I say." I grinned.

"But since I'm grounded you should let me stay home." He tried.

"No way, if I have to deal with Alice then you have to as well." I smiled again before taking Alexa to the kitchen with me. I heard her small stomach growl. Apparently Edward had left a note saying what she liked to eat the most. Apparently she was allergic to Strawberries. "Masen makes good Mac 'n' Cheese." I told her. Alexa smiled and nodded her little head. Masen walked into the room and agreed reluctantly to cook his little sister something to eat. I had to remind him he was the one that agreed to watch her, although I was happy she was here today.


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry this has taken so long to get out. I just haven't been inspired to write lately. Reviews are like crack is to an addict. :)

Chapter 20

"_Bella, Alice called me and said you were going over to her place for dinner tonight. Just take Lex with you and I'll be back as soon as possible. Love you."_

I deleted the message and picked Alexa up. I looked at the front door and found her car seat. Edward had thought of everything. He really was a good Dad.

"Where's Edward?" Masen asked when I yelled for him to get in the car.

"He's meeting us at Alice's." I told him handing over Alexa so I could put her car seat in the back of my vehicle. "Did he tell you why he had to go to Seattle?"

"He just said he had a few things to take care of." Masen shrugged. I put the seat in and then took Lex from him strapping her in. She smiled at me then I handed over her bottle. She sigh contently.

I walked around to the other side and got into the driver's seat. Masen hopped into the passenger side. I savored those moments when Masen actually rode with me. Since he had gotten his own truck he had taken to driving himself everywhere even if we were going to the same place.

On June 15th, Masen's sixteenth birthday, Charlie and I gave him the truck. It was a joint present even though I wanted to refuse his money more then anything.

The three of us drove in silence to Alice's house. In the rearview mirror I could see that Alexa was fast asleep. I looked over and Masen had his headphone's on listening to his iPod. The silence felt nice but lonely. I wondered how much longer we'd have a quiet life. After all we would be welcoming another being into our family in months to come.

I parked the vehicle and tapped Masen on his shoulder. His eyes had been closed, he hadn't even noticed that we were at Alice's. I gave him a smile as he wiped the sleep away from his eyes. He was a truly handsome boy, even when he had the tired look on his face. Just like his father.

Alexa clung to me as I pulled her out of her car seat. She let out a few whimpers as she tried to wake up.

"It's alright." I whispered smoothing down her wild hair. Alice was already standing on her front porch as we walked towards her house. She had lunged herself at Masen. I heard him groan but I could see the smile on his face as he hugged her. "You're going to suffocate him." I laughed at Alice.

"Don't be so dramatic, Bella." She rolled her eyes letting him go. He quickly walked past her and into the house. "Where's Edward?" She asked with her hands on her hips. Alice was two month further then I was but you could still barely tell she was even pregnant. She was a freak of nature because I had a feeling I wouldn't be that lucky, I hadn't been the first time around.

"Seattle, he had something to do there." I shrugged. "He'll be here later." I told her and walked past her just as Masen had.

I walked into the house to find Rosalie, Katherine and Sue all in the living room. I walked over to join them. Alexa had finally woken up and got down to play with Katherine. I figured Masen was with the guys in Jasper's den. Jasper wouldn't let Alice step foot in there scared that she'd try to change up his manly décor.

I had asked Alice if she needed any help but she refused it immediately. Sue was telling us about the location she and Charlie had finally agreed on for the wedding.

Fifteen minutes after we got there Edward walked in. I jumped off of the sofa to meet him at the door before anyone else saw him. He pulled me into him and kissed at the top of my head.

"I missed you." He whispered and then slid his hand down to rest on my stomach. "And you."

"We missed you too." I grinned letting myself relax into his touch. Friends did this sort of thing, right? But then again normal friends weren't having a baby together. "How was Seattle?" I asked hoping he'd give me details on what he was doing there.

"Fine, it was just something I had to do for work." Somehow I felt as if he were lying but I decided to just let it go for the time being. He asked me how Alexa was and I told him she was perfect. I told him how amazing Masen was with her and how I had taken to the little angel. He just smiled as I relayed our day to him. This felt comfortable.

We were pulled out of our safe bubble with Alice yelling that dinner was ready. Edward walked into the living room to scoop Alexa up off of the floor. She giggled and hugged herself to him. He kissed her cheek and told her he missed her.

As the rest of the guys walked into the living room I spotted Charlie. He looked at me and then at Edward. I just gave him a slight nod. Tonight I would have to tell him about the baby. I just hoped he wouldn't be furious that I was once again pregnant with Edward Cullen's child.

* * *

I hadn't been this nervous since I told Charlie I was pregnant with Masen. I shouldn't be this nervous, I am not a sixteen year old high school Junior. This time around I'm older and much wiser. Granted I'm not married nor am I in a serious relationship. At the moment Edward and I are only friends, even if that seems absurd to our friends and family.

Then there is the fact that I don't think Charlie has quite forgiven Edward for leaving me all those years ago and not returning when he promised.

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I'm a grown woman. I can do this.

After dinner and a half hour of conversation I asked Charlie if I could talk to him in the other room. I asked Alice if she would tell Sue while I was talking to Charlie.

Edward had followed close behind me after handing Alexa over to Masen.

I decided that Jasper's den would be the best place for us to talk. Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed.

I looked up and he gave me a reassuring smile.

"Either you're pregnant or you're getting married." Charlie didn't even give me a chance to speak first. I just blinked my eyes a couple of times. "Come on, which is it?" Charlie asked impatiently. Ok, this is not how I pictured this moment to go.

"If I were marrying Bella, I would have asked for your permission Chief." Edward spoke next. I shivered next to him pulling my hand away from his. I wrung my hands together and bit down on my lower lip.

"I'm pregnant, Dad." I whispered. At first I thought the look on his face was anger and then the next thing I knew he was pulling me into a hug. I was both surprised and relieved.

He let go and then turned to Edward.

"I take it you're the father." His face turned hard. Edward nodded not looking scared at all. "Listen here, Edward. That's my little girl and that's my grandson in there. If you hurt either of them again or this new baby then I will haunt you down and bury you."

Edward grabbed for my hand again. "I can promise you that there is no way I will ever hurt them again. They are my life now."

I gave him a smile as he pulled me into his side.

Charlie let out a breath and then nodded.

"Very well. This doesn't mean I have to like you." Charlie pointed a finger in Edward's face. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Congratulations, Bells." Charlie whispered before leaving Edward and I alone.

I pulled away from Edward and we both walked back towards the dinning room where everyone was still sitting. The little girls and Emmett were missing. I sat down back in my chair.

"Emmett put the girls to bed. Katherine was falling asleep in my lap and not five minutes after you left the room Alexa was out." Rosalie explained.

I looked at Masen. He had his headphone's on ignoring the conversation going around the table. If dinner weren't over I would have made him take them off but since we were just now sitting around I figured I'd let him keep them on.

Emmett returned not much time after. He told us how Alexa wouldn't pull her hands away from his neck when he was trying to lay her down. Apparently she was more comfortable in Emmett's arms then on the bed.

As soon as we were pulled back into a comfortable conversation we heard a scream erupting from Rosalie. I had never seen Emmett jump up so quickly.

"I thought it was just Braxton Hicks contractions but my water just broke." Her eyes widened. Rosalie still had three weeks before Isabelle was supposed to be born. Not long after she finished her sentence she screamed again.

Emmett was panicking. I figured he'd be calm seeing as he had been through this once before.

Alice had taken over the situation completely. She, Jasper and Masen would stay with the girls while Edward, Emmett and I went to the hospital with Rosalie.

Charlie and Sue had left after Edward and I told him about the baby.

* * *

The hospital was crowded but thanks to the fact that Rose worked here she was able to skip through all of the waiting and the paperwork.

She was only three centimeters dilated. This could take all night.

Edward was sitting outside the room slumped in a chair. I sighed and sat down on his lap. He pulled me to his chest.

"In eight months that will be us." I whispered glancing at the door of Rosalie's room and then looking back into Edward's eyes.

"I can't wait." He smiled.

"Oh, I can." I snorted. "You have no idea how bad that hurts!"

"Isn't it worth the pain?" He questioned.

"Of course it is." I smiled cupping his cheek. I wanted to kiss him so bad but I had to stop myself. We were just friends. For now.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Isabelle Louise McCarty has her father's hair, blue eyes that match her mother's and possibly the cutest nose I have ever seen. She was born five hours after Rosalie had gone into labor with her.

She was lucky. I went through a ten hour labor with Masen. It was the most painful ten hours of my life. Then I saw him and instantly forgave him for whatever pain he had caused me. He was too perfect not to.

I just hope to God this baby wants to come out faster then it's brother did.

I laugh lightly and put my hand on my abdomen.

My baby is in there. My beautiful baby that I made with Edward.

It's bittersweet to think that both of my kids will have the same father. It's nice but at the same time I feel for Masen. This baby gets Edward and he didn't. How fair is that?

I can't worry about that now. There's no going back on what I did or this baby.

I was beat coming home from the hospital. Rosalie insisted I be in the delivery room with her. I had never seen it from that end. It wasn't much better.

I could feel her pain. Emmett got the job of holding her hand and I was the one who kept telling her she could do this even though she was yelling that she couldn't. I must say it was quite an experience.

Edward had taken me back to Alice's so I could get my vehicle and Masen. I didn't want to leave Edward when it was time to go but I wasn't should I would be able to control myself around him if he stayed over. Although I was far too tired to do anything more then sleep.

The next morning was when the morning sickness really kicked in. I didn't miss this at all.

I braced myself on the tub trying to stop myself from getting sick again.

The door swung open.

"What's wrong?" He sounded as panicked as he looked. If I wasn't feel so disgusting I would have laughed.

"Just morning sickness." I sighed when he handed me a towel.

"Is that normal?" He questioned.

"Yeah, kid. It's normal." I nodded shutting the toilet seat so I could sit down on it.

"Oh, well Edward's on the phone." He tossed me the house phone. I hadn't even noticed he was holding it. "I am going back to bed. Don't wake me up." He grumbled leaving me alone.

I took a deep breath and put the phone to my ear.

"Good Morning, Edward." I smiled into the phone.

"_You alright?" _He asked. _"I heard Masen ask if something was wrong."_

"Nothings wrong." I rolled my eyes. These boys in my life were sure over-protective. "Just a little morning sickness. It comes with being pregnant."

"_I should have been there." _He let out a breath.

"Edward, I threw up in the toilet. It was nothing big."

"_Well, I should have at least been there to hold your hair back." _I couldn't help but smile. He really wanted to be involved in everything with this baby.

"It's fine Edward. Plus, I'm sure there will be plenty more times for you to hold my hair back." I smiled into the phone again.

"_Are you hungry?"_

"We just had this whole conversation about me puking my guts up and you want to eat?"

"_Are you hungry or not, Bella?"_

"I might be." I bit down on my lower lip. I wasn't exactly sure. On one hand I was hungry but on the other hand I wasn't sure I could put any food in my stomach without regretting it later.

"_You're impossible." _He laughed. _"Be ready in ten minutes." _Then the line went dead.

* * *

"I don't want to go anywhere." I pouted meeting Edward at the front door. I had gone into my room to get dressed but nothing seemed to fit or feel right on me. "I'm fat." I huffed.

"You're not fat, Bella. How about I just make something for us here?" He sat Alexa down. She toddled through the house and into the living room.

"You know I am capable of cooking my own food." I raised an eyebrow at him. He stepped all the way into the house and walked past me. I followed him to the kitchen.

"I know, I just like to cook for you." He turned around and smiled at me. "I never got to do this for you before."

I went back into the living room to sit with Alexa. I looked up to see Masen coming down the stairs. He still looked tired.

"That didn't work out how I planned." He yawned and plopped down next to me. "What are they doing here?" He nodded towards his little sister.

"Edward is cooking because apparently I'm not capable of doing for myself."

"That's cool. I'm hungry anyway."

"Have you talked to Lane lately?" I asked. He didn't say anything. Instead he just leaned back and ignored my question. I would have pressed if Edward hadn't asked for his help. I tried to say I'd help but he wouldn't let me even utter the words. I folded my arms across my chest and pouted like a child.

I decided to get on the floor and play with Alexa. It's been awhile since I've actually sat down and played with a little kid. Well, since Masen was little.

She was playing with a set of blocks with a serious look on her little face. She was stacking them, then they'd fall. She kept doing this over and over again until she gave up. She looked up at me with a wide smile on her face. She was truly a beautiful little girl. Those dimples on her cheeks were to die for. Then there were those amazing curls that rest atop her head.

She crawled into my lap and stuck her thumb in her mouth. My hand went to her hair and I started running my fingers through it. She just sat there quietly letting me play with her hair.

Masen used to let me do the same thing with him when he was her age. Some nights the only way he'd fall asleep is if I rubbed his head. I remember feeling wanted and needed on those nights.

"Food's ready." Edward walked into the living room. I looked up to find him in sort of a daze watching Alexa and I together. I gave him a smile before going to get up. Before I could even move he was by my side helping me off of the floor. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"I am capable of getting up on my own." I went to bend down to pick Alexa up but he already had her in his arms. I scowled at him. "I can hold her, you know."

"I've got her. Come on, food's getting cold." He sighed and placed his free hand on the small of my back guiding me towards the kitchen.

I sat down and grimaced at the food in front of me. I clutched at my stomach as a wave a nausea hit me. I went for the orange juice instead of picking up the fork. Edward sat Alexa down before eyeing me. I just shrugged and kept drinking the juice. I looked over at Masen to see him stuffing his face. I just laughed. Growing teenage boys ate anything and everything. Over the summer it had been difficult for me to even keep food in the house.

Once they were all finished I looked down at my uneaten food. There was no way I would be able to eat that, even with Edward begging me to at least eat a little. I really didn't want to puke it back up. I knew that was what would happen.

After he kept riding me to eat I picked up the fork and stuck a bite of my pancakes in my mouth. I gave him a smile and got up from the table. I swallowed the food and that wave of nausea came back.

After the table was cleared and the dishes all washed I walked into the living room and plopped back on the sofa. Alexa was down for a nap so Edward came into the living room and sat down at my feet.

Masen sat on the floor playing a video game. It was nice to just sit around with my family like this.

_My family. _

I've been waiting years to be able to say that.

"I've got an ultra-sound in two weeks." I spoke up. "Can you go with me?"

"Of course, love. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Edward smiled at me. I nodded and turned my attention to Masen's game.

I had no idea what was going on. He even tried to tell me a few times but it went in one ear and out the other.

"I had complications with his birth. That's why they are doing one so soon." I told Edward looking back over at him. He cocked an eyebrow at me. I lifted my shirt and traced the scar. I wondered how he hadn't brought it up before. That's where my son was taken out. I hemorrhaged while he was still inside me. That was possibly one of the scariest things I had ever been through. I was scared that I would lose my son, the last part of Edward that I had at the time.

Edward leaned over and followed my fingers with his own.

"He was worth it all though." I whispered seeing the pain in his eyes.

"I should have been there." His voice cracked a little. "I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with myself for leaving."

"You're here now, that's all that matters." I grabbed his hand and gave him a smile. "We're going to get through this pregnancy together this time. You and me." He kissed my stomach lightly.

I couldn't wait to share this whole experience with him. Maybe I should warn him that I'm kind of a bitch when I'm pregnant. Nah, I'll just let him _figure that one out on his own._


	22. Chapter 22

I have this sudden urge to write and on top of that I really have no life which is why you're getting two chapters tonight. Then again they aren't very long. :) reviews are like crack.

Chapter 22

Edward's leg was bouncing up and down which in turn was making me more nervous then I already was. I tried to calm myself down, telling myself that there was nothing wrong with this baby and everything would check out perfect.

Over the past two weeks I've come to the conclusion that I want this baby more then anything. I looked down at my slightly round stomach. I was already showing a little and I was just seven weeks. It was strange since with Masen I was at least 12 weeks before I started showing.

Edward grabbed my hand and stood up. I hadn't even heard them call my name. There was a nurse standing at the door with a wide smile on her face. I took a deep breath and Edward led me through the door.

The nurse was overly excited. I wanted to hit her a few times when she was gushing about how wonderful pregnancy was. The end product was better then what I would have go through these next seven months.

The doctor went over the normal procedure and before I knew it I could hear the heartbeat of my baby. It sounded like an echo. I glanced over at the doctor. She had this strange look on his face as she watched the screen carefully. That did nothing to calm my nerves.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a slight panic. Edward

"Nothing." She shook her head and turned the screen so I could look. She pointed carefully at what he was looking at.

Oh God, please don't tell me that's what I think it is.

"Congratulations Bella, looks like you're having twins."

In the next second there was a thud coming from next to me.

Edward had fainted.

* * *

I huffed as we walked through the front door of my house. Edward was trailing behind me. I had been angry with him ever since we left the doctor's office. He was supposed to be the strong one here and I was supposed to be the one that fainted.

He did nothing to comfort me after we left.

Twins? I couldn't have twins.

There was no way this could be happening. I had just gotten used to the idea of having one baby, not two.

"Stop being mad at me, Bella." He followed me to the kitchen. I whipped around and faced him. He stepped back a little.

"You fainted, Edward!" I yelled. Then I noticed that Alice was standing at the doorway. She was holding Alexa in her arms. Thankfully she had been free to watch Alexa that afternoon so Edward could go to the doctor's with me. "Alice, if you found out you were having twins do you think Jasper would have passed out?" I folded my arms across my chest. Alice's eyes widened.

"You're having twins?!" She blurted out.

"Yes." I barked out. Wasn't that obvious? Why would I ask such a question if I wasn't?

"And you passed out?" She looked over at Edward. He ran his hand through this hair nervously. He looked between us both.

"I wasn't expecting that." He shrugged.

"I wasn't either, but did you see me pass out? No!" I walked past him and up the stairs. I could tell that Alice was following me so I didn't slam the door like I wanted to.

I sat down on the bed waiting for her. She walked in without Alexa.

"I can't believe this." She sighed and sat down on the bed next to me.

"I can't either." I let out a deep breath. I started to think that maybe I was a little harsh about Edward passing out. If I would have been standing I'm sure I would have done the same thing.

Alice grabbed my hand and we just sat there for half an hour in silence. I let my other hand travel to my stomach.

There wasn't just one baby living inside of me but two. Two babies that were both relying on me to nourish and care for them.

Masen came home a little later from school. I gave him a small smile before walking over to him.

"Everything go alright?" He asked putting his bag down.

"Everything went perfectly. Well, expect for the fact that your father passed out when the doctor told us we are having twins." I rolled my eyes. After Alice left I had gone downstairs to apologize to Edward. He accepted and told me that he was sorry for passing out. I told him I was scared, but he assured me we could do this. Together.

"Wow, twins?" He ran his hand through his hair like his father did.

"Yeah." I nodded.

He nodded back. He gave me a quick hug before running up the stairs to his room. He was finally going back to his old self.

I just hoped he would let other people in again, besides just his family. He hadn't talked to Seth in weeks. The poor kid seemed depressed every time I saw him. Both he and Lane asked about him whenever I saw them. I kept telling them he'd come around. I wanted to believe that more then anything.

I needed to get ready for work but I really wasn't in the mood to go in this afternoon. I knew that Victoria would bitch me out if I didn't, so I reluctantly went up stairs to get ready.

I left Masen some money for pizza before rushing out of the house.

* * *

I walked in my house at 11:30 that night to find three boys sprawled out across my living room and two empty pizza boxes sitting on the coffee table.

Masen was on the couch, Seth on the floor and their friend Harry in the recliner. I smiled to myself and picked up the boxes and brought them into the kitchen. I was happy that they were here even if Masen didn't ask if they could stay over. I walked over and stood in the doorway.

I watched Masen sleep. There was a slight smile on his face, at that moment I realized I had my boy back.


	23. Chapter 23

:) You guys are all beyond amazing!

Chapter 23

Every Thanksgiving is the same. Masen and I bake pies and take them over to Charlie's where we have dinner with him. After we are finished there we swing by Alice's and my son proceeds to shove more food into his mouth. By the time we get to Rosalie's we are both looking for some place to crash.

We've come to perfect our little tradition.

Two days ago I figured we'd be doing the exact same thing. That is until Edward decided to finally tell me his parents were coming into town. He then went to say that he's known for the past two weeks but it must have slipped his mind to tell me. I panicked. I hadn't seen Esme and Carlisle in years. I had no idea what they thought about me or if they even knew I was pregnant again.

Not only were they visiting but they were visiting on Thanksgiving which meant they expected dinner which in turn meant I would have to actually cook.

Needless to say I was pissed that Edward hadn't told me earlier, so I ignored him the rest of the evening.

Now I'm standing in my kitchen nervously next to Esme. She had hugged me as soon as she walked in the front door asking me when I was due. Then she asked me where Masen was. She met her grandson and I have never seen a smile that big on her face.

She told me how much he looked like Edward's biological father. Somehow I felt like crying when she said that. I wasn't even sure why. When we were younger Edward always used to tell me how he wished I could have met his parents. He told me that they were wonderful people and would have adored me. We used to talk about our future children and how they would have spoiled them rotten.

Carlisle looked equally as proud meeting Masen. Masen looked a little tense at first but soon I saw my son relax and enjoy their company. They really were great people but none of that eased my nerves.

I'd never really cooked Thanksgiving dinner. One year I thought I could but ended up burning everything and ordering Chinese food.

Charlie was having Thanksgiving with Sue's family. I had hoped he'd join us and maybe ease my nerves a bit.

Esme insisted on helping me while the guys and Alexa stayed in the living room watching a football game. I wanted to protest and tell her I could do it on my own but she had this look on her face that was just pleading me to let her.

Five O'clock rolled around and we were still trying to get everything together.

I wasn't as nervous anymore. We eased into a conversation. We didn't talk about anything of importance, though.

Esme brought me out of my thoughts when she said the turkey was finished. I took a deep breath and watched as she took it out of the oven. It looked perfect. Nothing like the one I had burnt five years ago.

Dinner was silent at first. All of my nerves came rushing back to me as we ate. Alexa was the only one who spoke even though none of us could understand a word of what she was saying.

"Will you two be coming back when the twins are born?" I needed to break the silence and I figured what better topic then the babies.

Esme and Carlisle's eyes widened at this. I just looked at them confused and then over at Edward. He slumped down in his chair a little and let out a fake cough.

"You didn't tell them?" I glared at him.

"I was waiting until they visited." He answered.

"Of course we'll be back! There is no way I am missing the birth of my newest grandchildren!" Esme gushed jumping up and hugging me close. It felt strange hugging her. It almost felt like hugging my mother.

Thanksgiving wasn't as bad as I had prepared it to be. It was actually enjoyable once I let go of the nerves and relaxed. The guys cleaned up the table and the kitchen while Esme and I lounged in the living room.

"Have you thought of names?" She asked. I shook my head. It felt too soon for that. "You're due June 21st?" She asked. I nodded. "When's Masen's birthday?" I wasn't bothered by all of her questions. She had every right to ask each of those.

"June 15th." I let out a small laugh. I then realized that I got pregnant both times in September. I'll be sure that the next September or any September after that I won't have sex with Edward since obviously that was my most fertile month when it came to him and his sperm. I bit down on my lower lip. I wondered if Edward wanted more kids after the twins. I was getting ahead of myself. I was only ten weeks along, there was no way I should be thinking about another kid right now. Then there was the fact that we weren't even together in that sense for me to be thinking about possibly more children.

"He seems like a great boy." She looked adoringly at the picture that sat on the end table. It was taken at his sixteenth birthday party.

"He is. He has his moments but other wise he's got his head on straight." I said trying not to think about the weeks he was in his rebellion stage.

"All teenage boys have their moments. Edward had his and I thank God they didn't get out of hand." She smiled. "He was sixteen when he came home drunk. I'd never been so scared in my life." I gave her a strange look. I had no idea that had happened. She went on. "The next morning Carlisle woke him up bright and early. He took him for a drive and to this day I still have no idea what went on." She shook her head. I sighed and wondered if I should tell her about Masen coming home drunk but I decided against it instead wanting to know why Edward had come home drunk. "He said you two had gotten in a fight." She shrugged. I nodded. I knew exactly what fight she was talking about.

I was fourteen and scared to death of a physical relationship. He never pushed me but I knew he wanted more then just kissing after all he was two years older then me. I figured his hormones were a little stronger then mine. So, one night I thought maybe I could go further with him. He ended up realizing that I was too uncomfortable. We got in this huge fight about me not being ready. I was mad because he had no right to tell me when I was ready for more or not. I wasn't but that was beside the point. Two days later we made up and I told him that I wasn't ready, which he already knew. That was the longest we had gone without speaking during our entire relationship back then. I had no idea that he got drunk though so this was all news to me. I'd have to ask him about that later.

Masen walked out of the kitchen not long after and plopped down in the recliner. I smiled as he closed his eyes. He's changed back into his old self these past three weeks. It's been a relief to not him act so cold towards everyone. He was letting people back into his life. I wasn't sure what changed his mind about everything, what made him realize that letting someone in didn't mean they were going to leave or die.

Alexa curled up in my lap. I stroked her hair as she kept her thumb in her mouth. She quickly relaxed and fell asleep. I had gotten closer to her over the weeks. She was an amazing little girl and Edward has done a great job with her so far. But, I can see that she needs that mother figure in her life. Which is where I step in. I'm happy that I get to be that for her.

"Love, you look tired." Edward came out of the kitchen. I gave him a small smile. I was tired, today had been extremely long. "We'll get going." He sighed and took Alexa from me. I frowned. She stirred awake and stretched her small arms back towards me.

"Mama!" She wailed. My eyes widened at this but I took her back from Edward and held her close to me. I looked up at Edward to see his reaction. He had a warm smile on his lips. I mirrored his smile as I stood up. Alexa had a death grip on me by this point. I rubbed small circles on her little back soothing her.

Edward leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Are you okay with that?" He whispered so no one else could hear. I nodded. I was more then okay with that. After awhile Alexa let Edward take her to the car. Esme had tears in her eyes as she said good-bye. They were staying at Edward's and would be leaving early in the morning. Carlisle hugged me and told me that I had done an amazing job with my son. I appreciated that very much.

As soon as my head hit the pillow an hour later I was out.

-

"I like them." Masen told me groggily at breakfast the next morning. I hadn't wanted to get out of bed but I had to push myself.

"Esme and Carlisle?" I asked taking a bite of my toast. He nodded taking a bite of his cereal. "They were like my second parents when I was with Edward before." I told him.

"Why'd they leave? I mean after he went off to college? Normally parent's stay…" He looked away. He knew as well as I did that if they would have stayed then they would have been in his life, and it's very likely Edward would have been too.

"There was nothing left here for them." I shrugged. "That's what Edward told me at least."

"Oh." He nodded turning his full attention to his cereal. Then he looked back up at me. "Can I go over to Lane's?" I gave him a grin and nodded. Of course he could. He told me he hadn't talked to her in awhile and he was actually missing her. I knew she'd love to see him. Then the conversation quickly turned to my relationship with Edward.

"Why aren't you two in a relationship?" He asked. I took a deep breath. "I mean you've got kids together so what's the problem?"

"You'd be okay with that?" I asked.

"Of course." He nodded.

"I don't know, I wanted to take things slow." I bit my lip. He nodded and the conversation was over. I was relieved. I really didn't have a clue any more as to why we weren't in a more romantic relationship. I had seen him every day since I told him I was pregnant. I had fought the urge or numerous occasions to kiss him or pull him into my bedroom.

Masen got up from the table but I sat there thinking about what I would do next.

I wanted to further the relationship again. I wanted more. I wanted everything.


	24. Chapter 24

Don't fret my dears, Bella will change her mind. :)

Chapter 24

"Edward." I twisted my hands together nervously. It's been a week since Thanksgiving and I was finally getting up the courage to talk to Edward about my feelings. He glanced up at me from his computer screen. Earlier in the week he had given me a key to his house. At first I felt a little strange just walking in but I knew he'd be working today so I wasn't going to make him answer the door. So, for the first time I used my key and just walked in.

He gave me a wide grin before patting his knee. I bit down on my lower lip before walking over and sitting on his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face into my hair.

"I've missed you." He whispered. I had seen him the day before. "Alexa's been calling for you all morning."

I perked up. I went to jump off of his lap to go see her but he held me in place.

"She's sleeping." I frowned. I really wanted to see her. To hear her call me Mama again. I looked back at Edward remembering the whole reason I was visiting.

I was nervous, even though I knew I shouldn't be.

He sighed and placed his hand on my stomach. I loved when he did this.

"How are my babies today?" He asked me.

"I haven't had to throw up yet, so I'd say good." I smiled. He nodded keeping his hand on my stomach. I reached down to rest my hand on top of his. "I love you." It felt so natural to say it. Honestly, I hadn't meant to say it out loud but in that moment it just felt right. I bit down on my lip before looking at his face. He was smiling at me.

"I love you too." That's when I took the opportunity to attack his lips.

* * *

"So, does this mean what I think it does?" Edward whispered into my hair. We had somehow made it from his desk chair to the couch. I don't even remember us moving only that I never let my lips leave his. It felt far too good to be kissing him.

"I think so." I nodded rubbing his chest lightly. His grip around my waist tightened. "I love you and I know I want to fully be with you."

"Marry me." My hand stopped rubbing his chest and I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing altogether.

He was joking, right? He had to be. I sat there waiting another five minutes hoping he'd chuckle and say he was just kidding. He didn't, so I took a risk and looked into his eyes.

He was serious about this.

"You're serious, aren't you?" I sat up.

"Of course I'm serious." He stayed laying there on his back. He tried to pull me back down but I fought against it.

"No, you can't just ask me that!" I got off of the couch. I stood there in front of him. He sat up. He stood trying to take my hands into his. I wasn't having it. "Edward, you can't ask me that."

"And why not?" He ran his hand through his hair frustrated. "I love you, you love me, we're about to have two more kids. Bella, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Don't you want to spend the rest of yours with me?"

"Of course I do. I just…can't…marry you." I shuddered saying the word. I loved him more then anything, I knew that I couldn't marry him though. I wouldn't put more strain on our relationship then there already was. Marriage changed things. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

"How is it not?" He sighed as he tried taking my hands again.

"For one we just got back together like five minutes ago and two I don't want to get married. I never have and you know that." I let him take my hands this time.

"Bella, we were teenagers at the time. Of course you didn't want to get married. This is different, this is everything."

"Is it not enough to just be together?" I asked staring deep into his eyes. He looked defeated but he nodded.

"It's enough." He looked away from me.

"No, don't look away." I grabbed his face and made him look back at me. "I love you Edward Cullen, and I want to always be with you, forever. You, me and our four kids. What does it matter anyway? It's just a piece of paper."

"Then why is it such a big deal? If it's just a piece of paper? If that's all it is then why can't you marry me?"

"Edward…" I took my hand away from his face. "Let this be enough, please." I grabbed his hands again and pressed my body into his. "Please…"

"I won't give up." He smirked. "You'll give in eventually."

"Don't be so sure of yourself." I laughed letting my body relax fully into his. I loved this man and one day I might change my mind about marrying him but right now…right now I know I can't.

Just as he was about to say something else we heard Alexa's screams coming from upstairs. I pushed away from him and gave him a wide grin before dashing towards the stairs. I could hear him behind me as I ran up them as quickly as possible. He kept telling me to slow down but I wanted to see my little girl.

She was sitting up in her crib crying. I walked over to her and brought her into my arms. I kissed the top of her head trying to soothe her.

"It's alright, Lex. Mama's here now." I smiled against the top of her head.

"I'm going to make some lunch." Edward said from the doorway.

"You don't have to, you can get back to work. I've got her." I hugged her closer.

"How about I make lunch and then get back to work?"

"Fair enough." I smiled. He nodded before leaving us alone.

I changed Alexa and then took her downstairs to Edward. I watched him as he stood at the stove looking to be lost in thought. I sat Alexa in her highchair before walking over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. He seemed to relax when I touched him.

"What'd you make for us?" I asked taking in his amazing scent. I couldn't get enough of his smell.

"Grilled cheese." He shrugged. I grinned. I had come to learn that Alexa's favorite food. I pulled away from him and walked over to the kitchen table bringing Alexa's chair closer to me. "Hungry?" He quirked an eyebrow when I bit into my sandwich the second he put it in front of me. I nodded. Alexa didn't take long to start eating hers either. Edward chuckled watching the two of us. "Need anything else?" He asked.

"You're not going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." He shrugged.

"Oh, well you can get back to work now. Thank you for this." I smiled. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head then walked over and kissed Alexa on her forehead.

"No problem." He sighed leaving the room. I had decided to spend my off day with the two of them. Then around three I would head home to spend some time with Masen.

The day went by far too quickly. Before too long it was three and I needed to get home. I walked into Edward's study to find him entranced in his computer screen.

"I need to get home." I interrupted. He glanced up at me and frowned. I walked over and handed over Alexa. She cried for me to take her back.

"Mama, no!" She wailed flinging herself away from Edward's grasp. He held her close as he stood up. He set her down and she toddled away from us forgetting all about wanting me to take her back.

"Do you want me to come by later?" He asked me. I shook my head telling him that I wanted to spend the afternoon with Masen. He then brought up the marriage thing again. I just shook my head and just like before I said no. He never looked hurt, not once did I see pain in his eyes from me turning him down. I wasn't sure if I liked that or not.

* * *

When I got home Masen was in the living room watching TV. He looked tired so I sat down and started asking him about his day. He shrugged and didn't tell me much. He did say that he and Lane had a date Friday night which in turn made me giddy and press him for details but just like any teenager he rolled his eyes and refused to say anything more about it.

"Have you talked to Jacob lately?" My son asked. I just shook my head and told him I hadn't spoken to him since the last time he was over here. "Is he coming for Christmas dinner like always?" He asked.

"I don't know. I think it'd be too awkward." I sighed.

"But it's tradition. Everyone comes over and we exchange gifts. You can't mess with tradition Mom." He folded his arms across his chest.

Christmas consisted of everyone piling into my house. Alice and Rose would cook dinner over at their places and bring it over since I always refused to cook. They were happy to do it anyway. Everyone would come over and we'd all exchange gifts. Jacob was always included in this. But this year I wasn't so sure. I was scared that it might be a little too awkward with Edward there. Maybe I'd suggest we'd go over to Alice's instead of over here.

After contemplating this I decided I'd deal with it later. There was still three weeks to figure it all out.

I then asked my son what he wanted for Christmas. He wasn't sure which meant that whatever I got him he would like. I wasn't even sure what to buy for a sixteen year old. He already had everything he truly needed. I decided I'd ask Edward. He was sixteen at one point, I'm sure he would know.

Masen and I sat in a comfortable silence watching TV until I got up to order pizza. It was after all my specialty.

When the pizza came I popped in a movie and once again we fell into a comfortable silence. Before too long I heard soft snores coming from next to me. I nudged him and told him to go to bed. It was only eight but he looked severely tired.

I cleaned up from dinner before sitting at the table and calling Edward.

"_Hello?" _He answered. He must not have looked at the caller ID because usually he'd answer with 'Hello, Love.'

"You sound tired." I shifted in the chair.

"_Hello, Love." _That was more like it.

"How's my Lex?" I asked.

"_Sleeping. She cried for you again before she went to sleep. It's really starting to get difficult with us living in two different houses." _I took a deep breath. First he asked me to marry him now I was getting the feeling he was asking me to move in with him. I had to stop him. I needed a little more time.

"Give me until the babies are born and we'll bring this up again."

"_That long?" _He groaned.

"There's no need to rush, Edward."

"_First you won't marry me now you won't live with me. Is there something I should know, Bella?" _I could hear the playfulness in his voice. _"So, you're still set on not marrying me I take it." _

"Are you ever going to let up on that?" I rolled my eyes as if he could see me.

"_Not until you say you will."_

"I won't, so I guess you'll just have to keep asking." I laughed.

"_You'll say yes eventually but for now I'll leave it alone." _

"Thank you." I knew before too long he would ask me again and once again my answer would be no. I loved him far too much to marry him. I wouldn't put that on our relationship. Sooner or later he'd figure out that marriage didn't mean we wouldn't always be together.

"_Do you work Friday?" _He asked.

"10 to 4, why?"

"_Because we're going on a date. I already talked to Alice. She's going to take Alexa for the night since Lane said she had plans already." _I smiled and wondered if she told him who her plans were with.

"Sounds good to me." I sighed happily. "Did Lane tell you who her plans were with?"

"_No."_

"Turns out she and Masen are going on a date."

"_I should have known. She'll be good for him." _Of course I already knew that. I've known it since the first time I met her. _"Well, love I'm tired. I will talk to you tomorrow." _

"How about we don't see each other until Friday. I'll call you tomorrow night and we'll talk."

"_That's torture." _He groaned. _"But if that's what you want. I love you, sweet dreams." _

I did indeed have sweet dreams that night.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

It seemed as if Friday couldn't come fast enough. I wasn't sure if it had to do with not seeing Edward or from nerves. I sighed as I pulled a brush through my hair as I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom. I looked as if I hadn't slept in days, work took a lot out of me lately. These babies inside of me were already kicking my butt. Truthfully I would have rather crawled into bed with Edward holding me instead of going out on some fancy date.

I put my hand on my slightly round stomach and sighed. As tired and nauseas as I felt lately I knew they were worth it. I couldn't wait until I could see them for the first time and hold them in my arms.

It was almost six and Masen had already left for his date. I gushed over how cute he looked. He tried reminding me it wasn't his first date but I told him it was the first date I actually approved of. He only rolled his eyes and left before I could say anything more.

I put the brush down when I heard the doorbell ring. I had told him plenty of times to just come in or use the key I had given him but for some reason he wouldn't use it. I guess that was normal since I hadn't wanted to use the key he had given me either.

I opened the door and without a moments hesitation he wrapped me into his arms. He started planting kisses all over my face telling me how much he missed me. I just giggled and let him keep doing what he was.

"I missed you too." I smiled as he finally released me.

"I don't think we should do that again." He closed the door behind him.

"Do what?" I asked confused.

"Go days without seeing each other." He put his hands on my hips and brought me closer to him.

"I agree." I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck. "So, where are you taking me?" I asked. He knew I hated surprises so I hoped he wouldn't say that I'd just have to wait and see. It'd be best if he just told me now.

"My house." He said simply pulling away from me and grabbing my hand. I was surprised that we were going over there and not to some restaurant. I couldn't help but be happy that we weren't.

* * *

His house was dark when we arrived. Edward had the biggest grin on his face when he helped me take my jacket off. He flipped on a light before taking off his own jacket.

The whole ride over Edward refused to not have some sort of contact with me. He was either holding my hand or had his hand on my thigh. I didn't mind at all, it felt nice.

"I want to show you something but you have to promise to not be mad at me." He said turning me to face him. I just nodded unsure of what to think. He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the house and into his study. He told me to sit down on the couch and he would be right back.

Nervous was an understatement at that moment.

"We don't have to move in until after the twins are born but I wanted to show you this to get the okay to start building it." My hands were trembling as he handed me over the prints he had left the room to get. I shut my eyes before opening them up in front of me. I gasped at what I was looking at.

It was a blueprint. Of a house. I glanced up at Edward and he looked nervous.

"Is this…?" I choked out as the tears welled up in my eyes. This was amazing, I hadn't expected this at all. I thought that when we finally moved in together we would be moving into his house.

"It's _our_ home." He kneeled down in front of me. He started explaining everything to me. I could help but sob as I listened to him. The house was amazing, it was beyond perfect and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

"When will it be finished?" I asked quickly. I suddenly didn't want to wait until after the twins were born to move in with him. Edward's face brightened.

"I wanted to talk to you first to get the okay. I know I should have come to you before but I wanted it to be a surprise, even though I know you hate them."

"I love this one. You didn't have to do this, you know? I would have been happy with anything." I said to him and then looked back down at the plans. I was in awe.

"I wanted us to have our own place. Not yours and not mine. This is ours." He said taking the plans away and then grabbing my hands. I finally let the tears roll down my cheeks. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, Edward! This is beyond anything I could ask for." I sighed. "I hate that you're spending all of this money…won't you let me help pay for some things?" I asked biting my lip in hopes he'd agree but he just shook his head and I knew not to say anything more about the money situation.

"I've already got the land and now I have your okay. It should only take three or four months but like I already said we don't have to move in until the twins are born."

"No, I want to move in as soon as it's finished." I told him. "I love you and you're right it is hard living in two separate houses, I want to live with you." I said. I hadn't planned on telling him that but over the past couple of days I had been thinking about it. He had been right but I was too stubborn to see that. He stood up and then pulled me up from the couch. He wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back. I surprised him when in the next second I asked what was for dinner. I had to remind him that I was eating for three.

He pulled me into the kitchen where he pulled out some takeout menus and asked me to choose. I smiled and told him he knew me all too well. He said that he figured I'd like this much more then actually going out. I thanked him with a kiss and then set on deciding what I wanted to eat.

After much contemplating I decided on Chinese. He seemed to be happy with my choice.

* * *

An hour and a half later we were laying on Edward's couch in his living room. The food was eaten and I was beyond tired. It had been a perfect evening. It was everything I could ask for. Just being with him made me happy.

"I wonder how Masen's date is going." I said tracing circles on the palm of Edward's hand.

"Hopefully as good as ours." He said. I nodded. "Bella, have you had the talk with him?" I wasn't expecting Edward to ask that. I shook my head.

"Emmett did. I was too afraid and I figured it'd be less awkward with Emmett." I told him.

"Oh, so I don't need to talk to him about it?" He sounded a little disappointed.

"It never hurts to remind him." I said. Edward chuckled and said that no boy wants to go through 'the talk' twice. "More then one talk seems like a good idea to me, Edward. I mean I have no idea what Emmett told him, what if Masen has completely the wrong idea about it? What if he ends up getting some girl pregnant while he's still sixteen? I don't think I could handle that. Maybe you should have talked to him earlier before his date..."

"Whoa, Bella, calm down." Edward placed his hands on my shoulders. "If it would make you feel better I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"It would." I nodded.

"Honestly, I don't think Masen would make that mistake." He shrugged. I glared at him.

"I didn't think we would make that mistake either but here we are!" I threw my hands up in the air angrily. "And Masen is not a mistake." I snapped pulling away from him and stumping out of the living room. Edward was right behind me though.

"I didn't mean it like that, Bella." He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. "You know that's not what I meant. Masen is nowhere near a mistake, neither are these two babies inside of you." He said placing his hand on my stomach. I completely relaxed into him forgetting why I was even upset in the first place.


	26. Chapter 26

Just thought I would give you some insight into Masen's mind. I am really nervous about posting this chapter. It is in Masen's POV and it was fun to write and sort of just wrote itself. I'm happy with it I can only hope you guys are too! By the way you are all amazing. :)

* * *

Chapter26

I was nervous. No, I was way past nervous at this point. My palms were sweaty. I felt like I was going on my first date all over again. Lane was the third girl I had gone on a date with, but she was different then the other two.

My first date ever was with a girl when I was in Middle school. It had been to some dance that I can't even remember. It was horrible, needless to say we never spoke again. She had also been my first kiss, which happened to be the worst kiss I've had in my entire life.

My first date with Alyssa was at a party at Harry's, now that I think about it every date with Alyssa was at a party. That whole relationship had been a disaster, I should have ended it the second my Mom told me she didn't like her. I don't know what I was thinking during that whole time but I felt relieved when I dumped her only six months after we started dating.

Sure, my reasons for dumping Alyssa sounded stupid at the time but I think I was just trying to find an excuse to leave her. It had never worked between us and I knew it never would.

I realized I couldn't be with her anymore the day Michael died. I went over to her house expecting some sort of comfort but she just rolled her eyes at me and told me to suck it up. I think that's when I decided I didn't want to get close to anyone ever again.

Of course now I know that I was dumb to think I could go the rest of my life without being close to others. It took one stupid drunken night and a talk with Uncle Emmett and Edward to pull me out of that. I realized it was killing Mom and that was the last thing I wanted.

That night I realized for the first time that I actually had a father. Not just some sperm donor, but an actual Dad. It made me feel like an ass for treating both he and my Mom the way I had.

That was also the night I decided I couldn't push Lane away anymore.

It was at a party that I got the alcohol. One of Harry's infamous party's. I don't even know why he was having one on a school night but I really didn't care. I thought that in that moment that alcohol would drown out everything that was happening in my life. Lane was there and I remember her trying to talk me out of drinking so much. I wouldn't listen to her, I remember I made her cry that night. I never wanted to see her cry ever again. So, the next few weeks were spent me making that up to her.

Then there was Seth. He had been my best friend since I was a kid and here I was pushing him away. He seemed to understand though. His Dad had died when he was younger and it took a lot of him, I remember because for weeks he wouldn't come near me.

It was different with Grandma died then it was with Michael. With Grandma I needed people around me. I needed my Mom to comfort me and tell me things would all work out okay.

Michael died and I realized that I could lose anyone at any time just like I had lost him and Grandma. I thought it would hurt less if I didn't care about anyone then when they died or left I could just move dodge the pain. I knew now that it just didn't work that way.

Lane's Dad was scary. It didn't help my nerves at all when he let me into the house to wait for his daughter. Alyssa's Dad hadn't been around much, I only met him a couple of times. He didn't really care much about her so he didn't care about who she was dating.

But Lane's Dad was different. I sat down on the couch and he sat down in a chair across from me. He was staring me down. The silence was getting to me but I knew if I talked then my voice would crack and show how nervous I really was. So instead I decided to focus on where Lane and I were going tonight. I quickly realized that wasn't going to work because his stare just got more intense.

He was a large guy with a mustache and he screamed intimidating. The only smile I saw on his face was when he daughter came into the room.

"Daddy, please tell me you are being nice to Masen." I watched the beautiful girl in front of me roll her eyes at her Dad.

I took that moment to take in all of her beauty. Her long blonde hair was down in curls that reached right to her waist. She was wearing jeans and a purple sweater that I remember her wearing on the day she first came to my house.

I stood up and tried to make myself walk to her but my legs wouldn't move.

"I just have to make sure he's good enough for my baby girl." He said to her.

"He is, Daddy." She grinned at him and then over at me. In that moment her blue eyes had never looked so bright. I mirrored her smile finally letting my feet move.

She quickly approached me and pulled on my hand. I hadn't been expecting that and I briefly wondered if she could feel the sweat on my palms. I had to push this out of my mind as I spoke to Mr. Johnson. He just grunted at me when I said I would have her home before eleven. Lane had told him one last time he needed to be nice before we left.

"You look amazing. You are truly beautiful, Lane." I whispered into her ear as we walked towards my truck. She blushed and let out a small thank you. I couldn't help but be happy that I caused that blush on her cheeks.

We decided on pizza and then a movie. I sat across from her in the booth at the pizza place. She hadn't taken her smile off her face since I had picked her up.

My heart skipped a beat when I realized I was the one causing that smile.

We fell into easy conversation. It was easy to talk to Lane. I had never been this comfortable talking to someone besides Mom or Uncle Emmett ever before. I never even felt this comfortable talking to Jacob.

"Masen, does this date mean we are together?" I hadn't expected that. I just smiled and looked away from her. I sure hoped it did.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I shocked her. It felt good when I looked into her blue eyes and saw her smile reach them completely.

"Of course, but you have to promise me two things."

"Anything." I nodded a little nervously.

"No more drinking and no more pushing me away." She looked at me sternly. It was cute seeing her look like that. That was the first time her smile went away but she was still beautiful without it.

"I promise." I reached across the table and took her hand. This girl was amazing and I couldn't ask for anyone better to be with.

* * *

My nerves came back once the lights went out in the movie theater. Alyssa and I had only gone to the movies once the entire time we were dating. She insisted on me not touching her the entire time and I wondered if Lane was the same way.

That was all pushed away when she grabbed my hand.

I had no idea what the movie was even about. The entire time my thoughts were only on Lane and her hand that was in mine. I couldn't concentrate and I felt like I was in middle school all over again. I hoped to God when I kissed her that I wouldn't mess it up. I wondered if she would let me kiss her when the night was over. I really wanted to but I knew not to push my limits. Sure she was my girlfriend now but I didn't want to push her into doing anything she didn't want to do.

My Mom did teach me how to be a gentleman after all.

Then my mind wandered to how my Mom's night was going. I liked Edward, I just wasn't sure if I could accept him as my Dad fully just yet. I didn't want to rush that but I knew sooner or later I could accept him fully as my Dad. I'd always wanted a Dad, but I gave up hope around the time I was thirteen. I decided I'd settle on my Uncle's and Jacob. Now that was different. It felt weird but at the same time it felt nice.

I never hated Mom for not telling him about me. I know it broke her heart to look at me everyday. Aunt Alice said I looked so much like him, almost as if I barely had any part of my Mom in me.

I realized she was right when I saw him for the first time. Mom never kept pictures around of him, so I'd never seen what he looked like before but the second I saw him I just knew that was him. It could have been the fact that I had never seen my natural hair color on anyone else in Fork's before.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt Lane squeeze my hand again. She whispered to me that the movie was over. I hadn't even noticed.

We walked out of the theater and into the cold December air.

"You have no idea what even happened do you?" Lane smiled as we walked towards my truck.

"Not a clue." I told her truthfully running my other hand through my hair. Mom told me once that Edward did that often when they were together.

"What's got you so caught up in your head?" She asked me.

"Just thinking about some things." I said reaching the truck and opening her door for her. She scowled at me and I knew that wasn't the right answer. "Mainly you." I said once I got into the other side of the truck.

"Good thoughts I hope." She smiled.

"Of course." I smiled back. "Then I thought of Mom and Edward." I told her.

"I can't believe that your Mom is pregnant with twins." She gushed. I just chuckled because I couldn't believe it either. I figured Alexa would be the only sibling I ever had. Honestly at first I wasn't sure what to think about it but now I know it'll be good for us.

I hope.

* * *

I kissed her.

I kissed her and now I'm on cloud nine and I know that I won't be able to sleep tonight. I'll be too busy thinking about her lips and the way she giggled after we pulled apart. It wasn't much but it had been perfect for our first kiss.

I didn't expect Mom to be home when I got there so I was surprised when I walked in the front door. Both Mom and Edward were sitting on the couch. Mom had a smile on her face as Edward flipped through channels on the TV.

I groaned knowing that she was going to ask my how my night was.

"Before you ask it was perfect. That's all I'm saying." I told her quickly. I knew she wouldn't be satisfied with that but it was all I was giving her.

"Go now!" I saw her slap Edward on his knee. I looked at them both strangely before walking into the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and hadn't noticed that Edward had followed me into the kitchen.

"Hey, can we talk?" He looked nervous. I lifted an eyebrow and pulled out a bottle of water offering him one. He just shook his head and sat down at the kitchen table.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked sitting down next to him.

"Um, your Mom said that…she said that…you had the talk with Emmett…but she wanted me to talk to you again…" I groaned not wanting to go through that again. It had been bad enough talking to Uncle Emmett about it. He had encouraged me to have sex but then he told me to not be stupid like Edward in the process.

At that point I was only thirteen and sex was far from my mind.

"I think I've got everything I need to know." I told him. He nodded. "There is something I wanted to ask though…" I looked away unsure if I could ask him this. I didn't want him to tell Mom.

"I won't tell your Mother what we talk about." He said. I nodded happy that he realized I wouldn't want her to know.

"When is it the right time?" He looked a little confused then his eyes widened.

"When she's ready." He told me. "Of course you need to be ready too." He adds. I nod. I wasn't even sure if I was ready for that but somehow I knew that it was Lane I wanted to be with first. That is if she's let me. "So, you've never…?"

"Never felt right." I shrugged.

"Oh, good." Edward nodded. He seemed to relax a little.

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much." I said. Then there was an awkward silence and I wasn't sure if I should be the one to break it first or not.

Luckily Edward broke the silence first.

"I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I know there is some stuff you can't talk to Bella about…"

"Yeah, I know." I told him not sure if I was ready for that yet.

"Your Mother did a good job raising you. I just hate that I wasn't the one to give you the talk the first time." He let out a huff.

"Me too." I agreed. "It would have probably been better then what Uncle Emmett told me."

"I can only imagine what he said." Edward chuckled. I let out my own laugh.

"I'm going to be now." I stood up.

"Goodnight, son."

_Son._

_Son._

_Son._

He had called me his son.

I wasn't sure what to think about that but I liked it.

"Goodnight, Edward." I sort expected him to flinch that I hadn't called him Dad but he didn't seem to mind at all.


	27. Chapter 27

I hate asking this, really I do but do you guys think you could get me to 300 reviews? :) that would totally be amazing. If so, then i'll post two chapters tomorrow. :)) You guys are amazing, btw!

Chapter 27

"So, what did you two talk about?" I raised my eyebrow at Edward as he left the kitchen from his talk with Masen. Edward just smiled at me and shook his head. "You're not going to tell me?" I pouted.

"Of course not, it's between Masen and I." He said proudly sitting down next to me on the couch. I just rolled my eyes. I stood up from the couch and started walking towards the stairs. "Where do you think you're going?" Edward was right behind me with his hands on my hips.

"Bed." I laughed trying to get out of his grip.

"Only if I can join you." He whispered in my ear. I nodded dumbly. "You don't mind me staying the night?" He asked. I shook my head. Of course I didn't. I wanted nothing more then to wake up next to him in the morning. I smiled before finally getting out of his grasp. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs with me.

We crawled into my bed together minus our clothing. It just felt nice to lay skin to skin with Edward. He started rubbing invisible circles on my belly. I giggled a little as I let my forehead rest on his chest.

"I can't wait until they are here." He whispered.

"Me either." I whispered. I wanted nothing more then to hold them in that moment. I moved my hand to place it on top of Edward's. "Let's not wait until the house is built. Move in here now." I surprised myself with saying this but I had been thinking about it since leaving Edward's earlier. I didn't want to spend another night away from him. I wanted to lay like this every night him and I didn't want to wait months from now for that to happen.

"Are you sure?" He pulled away a little. I looked up into his eyes and smiled.

"Very." I said confidently. "And, I might rethink the marriage thing." I mumbled hoping he hadn't heard but I knew he did. Along with living together I had been thinking about his marriage proposal too. "But, if you're going to ask me to marry you. You need to ask me properly." I laughed placing my hand on his chest. Edward didn't take a second to capture my lips in his.

"I'll ask when you least expect it." He whispered against my lips. "I'm just happy you're thinking about it."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and if marriage is what it takes then I'll do it. I'm not afraid, Edward. I know you're in this for the long run, you're not going to leave me again. That's what I'm most afraid of." I sighed.

"I'm never leaving you again. Never." He wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I love you too much to let you go again."

"Good." I smiled and then started to place small kisses on his bare chest.

* * *

The next morning I found myself being subjected to shopping. Alice had reminded me that in five weeks Charlie was getting married. I tried telling her that by then I'd be huge and whatever dress we picked out now probably wouldn't fit me then. She just rolled her eyes and said that we'd get something big enough. I would have gladly waited until the last minute to go shopping for the dress. I knew shopping was inevitable since none of my other dresses would fit by that point.

"Here, put this one on." Alice thrust a dress at me. I just rolled my eyes and found myself in the dressing room.

The dress was purple and two sizes bigger then I was at that time. I groaned knowing that in five weeks I'd look like Barney in the dress.

"Not happening, Alice." I pulled the dress over my head not even bothering to show her how hideous I looked. Another dress flew over the top of the door. It was light and long. There were no sleeves and I wondered exactly why Alice thought It'd be a good idea to wear no sleeves in the middle of winter. I slipped the dress over my head glanced in the mirror. It was perfect. I couldn't believe Alice had actually picked it out. "Isn't it too cold for this?" I stepped out of the small room. Alice had a huge smile on her face.

"That's what coats are for, silly." She clapped her hands together. "This is the dress!" She jumped a little. I just rolled my eyes happy that this didn't take longer then necessary. I just wanted to get back home to my family. Edward was spending the day figuring out what he'd do with his place while Masen and Lane watched Alexa at the house. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave those two alone but Edward assured me that they wouldn't do anything, especially with Alexa around.

After leaving the maternity store we ended up walking into a baby store. Alice rushed around pulling me along with her. She was going insane over all the baby things.

"Jasper wants a boy." Alice sighed holding up a blue onesie with 'I love my Daddy' written on it. "I really don't care as long as our baby is healthy but I wouldn't be apposed to having a girl." She laughed.

I hadn't really thought much on the gender of my babies. I hadn't even started thinking about names. I had already had Masen's picked out by the time I found out that he was a boy. He would have been named Alison Elizabeth if he was a girl. I hadn't even talked to Edward about if he wanted to know the gender's of the babies before they were born. I wanted to know so that I could prepare for them better.

"Are you going to find out what it is?" I asked Alice as we walked out of the store. I was surprised that she didn't buy anything.

"I think so. You?"

"I don't know yet, it's up to Edward really." I shrugged. We walked to her car. My cell phone rang.

_Edward _flashed across the screen.

"Hello, Edward."

"_Bella, where are you?" _His voice scared me.

"Leaving the mall, why? What's wrong, Edward?" I demanded.

"_Can you get to my house right now?"_ He asked hurriedly.

"Yes of course." I said before glancing over at Alice. I had no clue what was going on but I couldn't help but be panicked.

* * *

Alice refused to let me go inside with out her. She was nosy and wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong. I didn't argue. I was too freaked out to worry about it.

Edward was pacing in his living room.

"What's going on?" I rushed towards him.

"It's Carlisle, Bella. He's had a heart attack." Edward could barely speak. Instead of saying anything I just wrapped my arms around Edward and crushed my body into his. His arms wrapped around me and I let him cry. I needed to do this for him. "Masen and Lane are on their way over here with Lex." He choked out. I just nodded keeping my eyes shut.

Alice had left the room to call Jasper. Edward and I just stood there holding each other. I wanted to ask him how Carlisle was doing.

"He's alive, but I need to go to Chicago." Edward whispered breaking the silence.

"I'm going with you." I told him.

"What about work? What about Masen?" He didn't pull away from me.

"He can stay with Rose or Alice. They won't mind. And work is really the last thing I'm worried about right now." I said to him keeping my face pushed into his chest. I'm sure my voice was muffled. I was surprised he could even hear me.

"Thank you, Bella." He kissed the top of my head.

* * *

We left the next morning. The flight was intense especially with a crying Alexa. Masen had wanted to come along but he really didn't need to miss the school. He would be staying with Rose and Emmett while we were gone. I wasn't even sure how long we'd be in Chicago so I took two weeks off of work. I rarely ever took off from work so it was time for me to take some sort of vacation even if I'd be on maternity leave before too long.

Esme picked us up at the airport. The poor woman looked a wreck. She pulled the three of us into her and let her tears flow. Edward hated seeing his mother cry but I knew she needed to let it out.

"He's looking forward to seeing you three." She whispered pulling away from us. Esme told us he was still at the hospital and would be for another day or so. Edward asked Esme how it happened, Carlisle was the healthiest man he knew. Esme just shrugged. The doctor's had told her but she said she was too upset to hear a word they said.

The grey haired man looked so fragile laying in the hospital bed. He hadn't looked that old during Thanksgiving. I let out a sob upon seeing him. I couldn't handle it.

"I'm going to step outside." I told Edward. Esme followed me with Alexa leaving Edward to talk to his father. "Too many memories." I whispered to Esme. Alexa reached her small arms for me. I took her and she snuggled her body into me. "He's going to live isn't he?" I croaked out.

"He better." She let out a small laugh. "I'm not ready for him to leave me yet." She sighed as we found our way towards the cafeteria.

I bit down on my lip. I couldn't imagine losing anyone else. I had already lost too many important people in my life. Carlisle had to live.


	28. Chapter 28

:))) so you guys are basically amazing. i can't descirbe how happy you have made me with your reviews and story alerts and favorites. :) I promised this and you'll get the second one later. and possibly since i'm in such an amazing mood you'll get another later tonight or early tomorrow.

Chapter 28

I watched as Edward held Carlisle's hand and talked to him. Carlisle had a big smile on his face talking to his son. Esme had taken Alexa back to her house so she could lay down. I decided I wanted to stay at the hospital with Edward. I wanted to be there for him. I needed to do that for him. Even if sitting in that room made me feel like I lost Renee all over again.

"Why so quiet, Bella?" Carlisle turned his attention to me. He motioned for me to sit next to him. I just gave him a small smile before making my way over to his side. Edward pulled me onto his lap releasing Carlisle's hand.

"Just thinking about my Mother, sir." I told him truthfully. He took my hand just like he had Edward's. I smiled as the older man gave me a smile.

"Edward told me she passed away a couple of years ago." Carlisle whispered. I just nodded unsure if I could actually speak without my voice breaking. "Renee was a wonderful woman, Bella. You remind me a lot of her." He smiled. I nodded a thank you.

My stomach decided to speak for me. I hadn't eaten much since the day before but the babies weren't happy about that too much. I turned to look at Edward. He was frowning.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asked seriously.

"Breakfast." I sighed glancing at the clock on the wall. Four o'clock.

"Come on, let's go get something." He sighed pushing me off of his lap a little. I just frowned but knew he wouldn't let me spend another minute without eating. So, I decided to not say anything. Edward told Carlisle we would be back in a couple of hours. I could tell he didn't want to leave his father's side but he didn't want me to go anywhere alone either.

We walked down to the cafeteria but ended up leaving since none of the food looked edible. My stomach lurched at the sight of it. We walked out of the hospital and down the street to a small whole in the wall pizza parlor. I didn't know how hungry I really was until I started stuffing food in my mouth. Edward had chuckled at me but barely ate anything. I asked him why but he just said he didn't have much of an appetite. I couldn't blame him, if it weren't for the twins I was sure I wouldn't either.

"How'd you handle Renee being sick?" Edward asked me as we walked back to the hospital.

"I didn't handle it. I ignored it." I shrugged. Not until after she was dead did I really accept the cancer.

"How did that work?"

"Terribly. I wasn't prepared when she died. I know I wouldn't have been either way but it would have probably been better if I didn't ignore it." I sighed. "But, Edward, Carlisle isn't going to die."

"You don't know that." He mumbled. I squeezed his hand that was placed in mine. He squeezed mine back. We ended up walking the rest of the way back to the hospital in silence.

* * *

Two hours after we got back to the hospital Esme was calling telling us that Alexa was calling for her Mama and Daddy. Edward didn't want to leave but Carlisle told him that he'd still be there in the morning, Edward wouldn't miss much in just eight hours. I had watched as my boyfriend struggled with this but he ended up going to Esme and Carlisle's with me.

That night we brought Alexa into the bed with us. I ran my hands through her beautiful hair as Edward hummed for us. Alexa was trying her hardest to fight her sleep but it was getting to be too much for the little girl.

"Good night, sweet baby." I whispered placing a kiss on her forehead. Alexa let out a content sigh before fully closing her eyes and letting the sleep take her.

"She's lucky to have you, Bella. We both are." Edward whispered as he stopped humming.

"I think I'm the lucky one." I laughed reaching for Edward's hand. I intertwined our fingers together. "Carlisle is going to make it, Edward. I just know it. Please believe that." I tried. He sighed and looked away from me. I knew he didn't want to talk about it but it'd be better if he did.

Edward shut his eyes tightly. I knew he was about to cry but I also knew he didn't want to cry again not like he had the day before.

"I never thought in a million years that Esme would call me to tell me Carlisle had a heart attack. He's so healthy and careful. I worry about them being here, I was thinking about talking to them about moving to Fork's." He said to me. I just nodded. That sounded like a good idea. I'd love to have them in Fork's and I knew Masen would like it as well. He wanted to get to know his grandparents.

When we left that morning we had left a very worried Masen. I just hoped he wouldn't block any of us out after this.

"Maybe he's too stressed out." I said.

"It's possible. He's been talking about retiring. He feels he's done his job at the hospital all these years. I told him I thought It'd be a good. Idea." I could tell Edward was getting tired. I sighed as I decided to let my body fully relax. It was strange being in a different bed but I was at least happy that Edward was sharing this strange bed with me. "I love you." He whispered and I watched him drift off to sleep. Much like his daughter I could tell he had been fighting it.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to the smell of breakfast. I groaned when I realized I was alone in the bed. I had been expecting to wake up to Edward and Alexa but instead I woke up to an empty bed.

"Mama!" My beautiful little girl was standing in the doorway. She ran as quickly as possible. I hopped off the bed and pulled her into my arms. I looked up to see that Edward was right behind her with a tray of food. "Hungry?" She questioned. I nodded picking her up and setting her on the bed. Edward went to the other side and sat down with the tray in his lap. I climbed in next to him pulling Alexa with me. I sat her between us. Edward handed her over a piece of toast and I watched as she happily ate it. I couldn't help but laugh.

I snuggled in close to the two of them as we ate breakfast in bed as a family. It was beyond perfect.

* * *

"Good Morning, Dad." Edward said to Carlisle when we walked into his room. Carlisle gave us a nod before sitting up. Esme went over to his side and kissed his cheek. He scooted over a little so his wife could sit down next to him.

I sat down with Alexa in my lap in the chair across the room. Edward sat down in the one next to me. I sighed contently as everyone in the room started a peaceful conversation.

Carlisle was telling us how much better he felt. He looked it, too. I could tell that Edward looked a little less stressed. I think he realized that Carlisle was going to be just fine.

"Um, I wanted to talk to you two about something." Edward leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and clapping his hands together. Everyone looked over at him.

"What about, son?" Carlisle sat up more in his bed.

"Moving back to Fork's." Edward came right out and said it. Carlisle looked to be in thought. Esme had a huge grin on her face. "I'm moving in with Bella soon and I'd love it if you guys moved back. You can take my house, that way you can be closer to your Grandkids."

"I like that idea." Esme beamed. I looked at Carlisle and I could tell that Edward didn't have to say any more on the matter, he was already sold.

The next hour was used talking about Esme and Carlisle's possible move. I could tell that Esme wanted to terribly but there was just something in Carlisle's eyes that seemed to hold him back from fully saying yes. I wondered if Edward saw it but judging by his face he held no sign of seeing it. I decided to just push it back and deal with it when it came up.

* * *

"_When are you coming home?" _Masen asked when i called him later that night. We had spent the entire day sitting at the hospital with Carlisle. The doctor's had said that he would be released tomorrow. Edward had mentioned staying a few more days but we hadn't really discussed how many more.

"I don't know, kid." I sighed leaning back on Esme's couch. She was still at the hospital with Carlisle. Edward and Alexa were upstairs sleeping already. "How's everything going up there?"

"_Okay, I guess. Nothing's really changed. Aunt Rose is about to drive me nuts with Katherine." _He groaned. I just laughed. _"Do you have any idea how annoying a three year old is?"_

"I think I have some clue." I chuckled.

"_I'm sure I wasn't like Katherine at three." _He huffed.

"You'd be surprised, Mase." I couldn't help but let out another chuckle. "Edward's talking to Carlisle and Esme about moving to Fork's."

"_Really? Are they going to?" _This seemed to peak his interest. I smiled knowing my son probably had a smile on his face.

"I'm not sure yet, but I hope so."

"_That'd be awesome." _I just laughed and agreed with him. He decided to remind me that Christmas was only in three weeks. I groaned and told him that I'd deal with that when I got back home. Christmas was really the last thing on my mind at the moment. _"Oh, yeah that crazy lady that took Aunt Rose's spot at the hospital called for you today." _I just rolled my eyes.

"What'd she want?" I asked.

"_Wanted you to come in to work. I told her you were on vacation. She actually started yelling at me."_

"I'm not surprised. Victoria is not a nice woman." I told my son.

"_I've gathered that." _He laughed. _"Well, Ma, I'm heading to bed now." _He yawned. _"Love you_."

"Love you, too. Sweet dreams, baby boy." I hadn't realized until that second how much I missed my sixteen year old.


	29. Chapter 29

I'm sorry! I reallyreally am! I know I promised this days ago but writer's block and life interrupted that. I know this chapter doesn't make up for that but please forgive me. :) I'll write more as quickly as possible but I won't make any more promises because it seems I don't keep them too well. You guys are amazing, btw. I can't thank you enough for all the of your reviews and alerts. As much as I hate filler chapters, this is one of them.

Chapter 29

I woke up to feather light kisses all across my face. I let out a content sigh as I opened my eyes with a smile on my face. I wanted to be woken up by him every morning, just like this.

"Good Morning." I grinned up at him stretching.

"Good Morning." He whispered back before placing his hand on my stomach and pulling my shirt up slightly. I heard him take a deep breath before looking back up at me and smiling. "You're beautiful."

I just blushed. There was no way that I looked beautiful right now. I had just woken up, my hair probably looked like a rats nest. There was nothing beautiful about me at this point in time.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked next when he noticed that I hadn't jumped up to go to the bathroom.

"Pretty good." I sighed looking down at his hand that was laying gently on my slight bump. "Where's Lex?" I asked him when I noticed our little girl wasn't in the bed with us.

"Well, Esme wanted to spend some time with her granddaughter plus she figured we'd want some alone time." He grinned. That sounded really good. I felt like I hadn't had much alone time with Edward in so long but really it'd only been a few days that we had been constantly surrounded by our family. I just pulled on the collar of his shirt to bring his lips up to mine. I smiled before attacking his lips. He seemed a little surprised at first but he quickly started moving his lips in sync with mine. "I love you." He pulled back again and whispered against my lips. I just giggled and whispered it back before hungrily taking his lips into mine again. I felt like I needed to be closer to him so I pulled him down more but he stopped and pulled away.

"What?" I asked when he just stared at me. He gave me a grin before laying back beside me. I groaned at the loss of contact. I hadn't wanted him to move. I just wanted him closer to me.

"If we keep doing that we'll never get out of bed today." He kept his eyes on the ceiling. I frowned.

"That was the whole point." I laughed wishing my voice sounded sexier. I realized then that Edward and I hadn't had sex since when we conceived the twins. That was too long. So, instead of saying anything else I just sat up and straddled his waist. In this position there was no way he would deny me now.

I was right, he couldn't and he didn't.

* * *

Esme still wasn't home by three so I walked down the stairs in my pajamas and rummaged through the kitchen. Edward had kept me busy most of that day that I had forgotten about eating. The babies didn't forget though. No, they reminded me. Very loudly I might add.

I bit my lip and realized there was nothing I wanted to eat. I decided to walk back up the stairs and demand for Edward to go out and buy me a cheeseburger. He refused, telling me I needed to eat something healthier.

It was possible that in that moment I threw a slight fit. I wouldn't call it bad but…Edward's face had this scared look on it.

Esme had come home during my slight fit. She had only chuckled and told Edward he should go buy me the cheeseburger I wanted or she'd get on to him too. I thanked her and asked about her day with Alexa. I was happy to home my little girl in my arms, even if she was acting strange. She was a lot or whiny then she normally was.

"Carlisle called. He's getting released at five." Esme grinned. I smiled back at her trying to calm Alexa down but at that point she was screaming and trying to get down. "So, I'm going to head up there now." She sighed. I had a feeling Alexa had been like this all day. I was about to ask Esme but she had quickly grabbed her keys and left us alone.

I reluctantly let Alexa down. She had tears streaming down her face but she had finally stopped screaming.

"I wan dada!" She wailed after a few minutes. I just widened my eyes. Alexa usually let me comfort her but now she was crying for Edward. I just bit down on my lip and tried to tell her that he'd be back soon. I started to regret sending him out for my cheeseburger but I really wanted it.

Masen had done this plenty of times when he was a baby. He screamed whenever I would leave him alone. Alice and Renee would refuse to watch him most of the time. The only person besides myself that could usually calm him was Charlie. I wasn't even sure how he managed it but I was thankful that I could at least leave him with someone. College would have been a no go if I couldn't. I took night classes so that way Charlie could watch Masen after he got off of work. I felt terrible but Charlie didn't seem to mind at all. Masen was four when I could leave him with anyone else. Charlie had seemed a little disappointed but I knew he didn't mind the nights he got to spend alone.

Alexa was toddling out of the kitchen and into the living room. I hadn't even been paying attention. I jumped up to follow her. She seemed content to be left alone so I let her do her own thing. I wanted to wipe her face but I knew that she'd probably get upset if I tried. I decided to just sit down on the couch.

I had been in such a daze watching my little girl that I hadn't even noticed that Edward had come in. Alexa's eyes widened as she ran with everything in her to her father. I smiled at Edward and told him thank you for the burger. He just nodded and tended to Alexa.

I walked into the kitchen with Edward following me.

"Esme's gone to get Carlisle." I told him after swallowing my first bite.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Edward set Alexa in her highchair but Alexa wasn't having it. She was once again screaming.

"I'm not sure." I shrugged taking my attention away from my family and back to my burger. I wasn't sure why but it tasted like Heaven in that moment. Even if it was probably the last thing I needed to be eating. I was craving and there was no way I wasn't going to finish this.

I finished my sandwich quickly not even noticing Edward and Alexa had left the kitchen. I sighed contently getting up from the table. I walked up the stairs and into the bathroom. A shower seemed just as Heavenly as that cheeseburger had tasted.

* * *

Carlisle and Esme were at the house by six. Esme sent her husband right up to bed even though he was trying to tell her felt fine and he wanted to spend some time with his family. She wouldn't have that.

She wouldn't let Edward or I make dinner either. She told me to go play with Alexa and told Edward to go keep his father company. I sighed and did as I was told. I hadn't felt like that much of a child since I was sixteen.

Alexa didn't want to play with me though. She wanted to do her own thing still. Every time I'd go near her she'd tell me no and scoot away. I wasn't sure what to think about that.

Dinner was quiet and I really wasn't sure what was going on with everyone today. They just all seemed a bit off, even Edward. Carlisle was just happy that Esme let him come down to eat dinner with us. She had made soup and salad much to Carlisle's dismay. He had wanted something else but Esme was putting him on a strict diet and whatever else he wanted wasn't on that diet.

Alexa wouldn't eat the salad but I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't have at her age either. She loved the soup though and she actually let me feed her.

"So, Bella, how's that grandson of mine?" Carlisle spoke up through the silence.

"He's doing alright." I smiled over at the old man.

"Is this the longest you've been away from him?" Esme asked me.

"It is." I sighed not wanting to think about it. It only made me feel worse for being away from him for so long. They seemed content with that answer. Esme had nodded in understanding but neither of them said anything more about it.

After dinner Carlisle was sent back up to his room, Esme had joined him reluctantly. She had insisted on washing dishes but I beat her to it.

I felt arms wrap around my waist suddenly. I smiled and leaned back into the body behind me.

"I talked to Carlisle about moving back to Forks." Edward whispered in my ear. I nodded in a way to tell him to go on. "He's rather attached to the hospital but he's agreed that Forks will be less stressful for both of them."

"Is he going to retire?"

"He is." I felt Edward's chin rest on my shoulder. I kept a smile on my face as I washed the rest of the dishes with arms around me. He had offered to help but I told him I would much rather him hold me. He had chuckled but kept his arms around me.

After the kitchen was clean we walked up to the bedroom. Alexa was fast asleep in the middle of the bed.

"She had a bad day." I sighed climbing in next to her after changing my clothes. "I've never seen her cry so much." I smoothed her hair back away from her face. She stirred a little but didn't wake up.

"I don't know what was wrong with her." Edward shrugged climbing in on the other side of her. "Esme seemed exhausted after coming back with her earlier, maybe something happened."

"I'm sure Esme would have told us." I said keeping my eyes on the beautiful little girl.

Edward's hand found mine, that's when I looked up at him.

"Is this really the longest you've been away from Masen?" He asked me. I groaned trying to take my hand back but he wasn't allowing it so I just nodded. "I'm sorry Bella."

"I just miss him. It feels weird not having him in the next room. I've never stayed away from him for more then a day." I confessed. "I talked to him last night, though. He seemed okay."

It upset me a little that he was okay with being away from me for so long. Then again I had to remember he was sixteen and he didn't need his Mom around all of the time. That made me frown and wish he was still my little boy. He wasn't though. He was a teenager now and soon he'd be going off to college. Then he'd be getting married and possibly starting a family of his own.

I shook my head trying to get rid of those thoughts. I wasn't ready to let my baby go, I'd hold on to him for as long as possible.

"I was thinking we could go back on Saturday. I wanted to spend some more time with Carlisle and Esme but if you want to go home sooner we can." Edward interrupted my thoughts.

"No, Saturday is just fine." I assured him. I smiled one last time at Edward before closing my eyes and letting sleep take over.


	30. Chapter 30

I'm no doctor, so the information I have here is from what I googled. It could possibly be wrong but please overlook that. :)

Chapter 30

I was shaken awake Saturday morning much to my dismay. I hadn't been able to sleep the night before because my stomach had been so queasy but I knew that I needed to get up now since our flight was at noon.

I was happy to finally be going back home. I missed my bed, I missed my son and strangely I missed my job.

I could see in Edward's face that he wasn't wanting to leave his parent's just yet, but he knew we had a life to get back to in Fork's so Saturday morning we said our goodbyes to Carlisle and Esme. They had agreed to come up for Christmas to make plans to move back to Fork's. They wanted to sell their house first, and Carlisle wanted to square everything away with the hospital.

Alexa had seemed to wake up in another bad mood that morning. It was tiresome having to deal with her on the plane, but thankfully she fell asleep an hour into the flight.

"I'm so ready to be home." I sighed once we were stepping off of the plane. Edward who was standing in front of me looked back and smiled. Alexa had woken up and she wasn't as fussy.

I was like a little kid on Christmas when I spotted my son in the crowd. I was happy that he had agreed to come pick us up from the airport. I pulled Masen into a hug kissing his forehead. He groaned but hugged me back.

"I missed you." I pulled back finally. Masen gave me that crooked grin of his before telling me he missed me too.

Edward handed over Alexa so he and Masen could go get our luggage from baggage claim. I stood at the entrance of the airport waiting on my two men. Alexa was wide awake and gurgling about something or other in my arms. She was playing with my necklace. I was just happy she was in a better mood then she had been in earlier.

"Let's go home." I told Edward and Masen when they walked up to us. Masen had brought my truck so we could fit in it since his truck was only a single cab.

"How's Carlisle?" Masen asked when we got into the truck. Edward was driving and I was sitting in the back with Alexa while Masen sat in the passenger seat. I decided to let Edward answer our son. He knew more about it then I did.

"He's doing pretty good. It doesn't even seem like he had a heart attack. He's back on his feet like always." Edward tells him.

"That's good." Masen nodded. "So, did they decide to move to Fork's?"

"Yeah, it'll probably be around the first of the year before they do though." I watched as Edward and Masen talked. Their conversation stayed mostly about Edward's parents but then Masen started talking about his week without me. I just listened on letting the two of them talk with each other. I was happy that Masen felt so comfortable with Edward to talk to him like he was.

* * *

I flopped my body back onto my bed that night sighing contently. I crawled under my covers after pulling my clothes off. I had really missed sleeping in my own bed. The bed at Esme and Carlisle's just wasn't the same as this one.

Edward had just given Alexa a bath and was laying her down in the guest room that would be turned into her room shortly. We were just going to put some of her things in there and put everything else in storage for when we moved into the new house.

"You look exhausted." Edward smiled from the doorway. I just patted the spot next to me. He pulled his shirt and pants off sliding into the bed next to me. I snuggled my body into his. "I love you." He kissed my temple.

"I love you too." I said before placing a kiss on his bare chest. "I can't believe I get to fall asleep with you like this for the rest of my life." I whispered closing my eyes.

"Me either." His arm wrapped around me and he placed his hand on my stomach. I loved when he did that. It was so endearing and somehow made me feel even safer. It was like he was protecting both me and our babies at the same time. "I can't believe you're in my arms again." He sighed. "I've wanted this for so long."

"I have as well." I said placing another kiss on his chest.

* * *

I woke up Sunday morning having to run to the bathroom. The entire time we had been in Chicago I hadn't had morning sickness. I started to curse Fork's for making me feel this sick again. I'd rather blame it on Fork's then on my precious babies.

I hated starting my mornings like this. Edward had followed me. He had held my hair back and helped me stand back up from my spot on the floor. I sighed walking over to the sink and brushing my teeth. I was still as exhausted as I had been the night before. I wasn't sure why I was so tired. I hadn't felt this tired in awhile.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Edward asked rubbing circles on my back trying to soothe me. I just shrugged and spit the toothpaste out of my mouth. I grabbed a washcloth and washed my face quickly.

"I think I need a shower." I groaned suddenly feeling even worse. I felt like I was going to pass out so I reached out towards Edward to steady myself. "Oh, that's not good."

"Bella?" Edward pulled me into his arms to keep me upright. I felt without him I would fall. My eyes felt heavy in that second. "Bella?" Edwards voice go louder. I just groaned and shook my head. I didn't want to speak. I felt so heavy, I just wanted to sleep. Yes, sleep was good.

-

There was a beeping noise and I could faintly hear someone talking but I didn't want to open my eyes. I knew the light would be too bright for me so I kept them shut. I tried listening to the voices but they weren't loud enough for me to hear. Then my mind registered that someone was holding my hand. I twitched my hand a little and then I heard more voices.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" The voices were louder no. I couldn't quite point out this voice but it sounded familiar, it sounded like home. "Open your eyes, Bella. Please, I need you to open your eyes." The voice was begging.

I opened them.

Where was I? This wasn't where I was when I fell asleep earlier. This wasn't my bathroom and Edward's arms weren't what I was laying in.

"Oh, Bella." The voice now had a face. Edward. I choked and someone brought a cup up to my lips.

I wondered why everyone was looking at me like that. Then I noticed a doctor start to examine me. He was telling me to take deep breaths but I didn't want to. I wanted to know what was going on and why I was in the hospital instead of at home.

Edward told me that I passed out after throwing up. He had brought me right to the hospital and I'd been out for a few hours.

"My babies, are they okay?" I panicked when I could finally talk.

"They are fine." Edward tried to assure me.

"What happened, then? Why did I pass out?" I asked.

The doctor then started to explain to me that I was anemic. I asked him why I hadn't known before but he said that he wasn't sure. I had experienced it after giving birth to Masen but I was able to get my iron level back up and I hadn't had it since. He asked why I hadn't been tested at my first prenatal appointment but I told him I really wasn't sure. He said anemia was common in women with multiples. He was increasing my iron supplements hoping that would help, along with giving me a stricter diet.

He wanted Edward to keep a close watch on me during the rest of my pregnancy. I just groaned knowing Edward would try to never let me leave his sight. That was going to be hell. Sure, I loved Edward but he was going to be way too protective and I could already tell just by the look on his face.


	31. Chapter 31

:) Those of you reviewing are amazing. But, it seems with each chapter the reviews get less and less. I'm not going to beg for reviews or stop writing this story. I just like to know that people are still reading and liking it.

Chapter 31

I was going insane. I hadn't been able to leave the sofa since I got out of the hospital two days ago. The doctor said to be careful but I didn't think he meant for me to just sit like a bump on a log. Edward wouldn't let me do anything but get up to go to the bathroom. He'd stand right outside the door and ask me if I was feeling alright. And at night he'd let me go to our bedroom to sleep. By then I wasn't even tired because I'd been laying down all damn day.

I was feeling smothered and I was suddenly regretting asking him to move in. I needed my space. Now I knew how Carlisle was feeling when he got out of the hospital with Esme doing exactly what Edward and Masen were doing to me.

Alice was sitting on the couch with me flipping through a magazine while the guys brought in some of Edward's things. I asked Alice if she would please try and convince Edward I would be fine but she told me she already tried but he wasn't budging. Rosalie walked out of my kitchen holding her infant. She looked beyond tired as she sat down on the love seat.

Katherine and Alexa were on the floor playing. It wasn't keeping Alexa very occupied but I had to do something to keep her out of the guys way. She kept trying to stand up and walk over to me but Edward would just pick her up and sit her back down in her previous spot. I tried to tell him she was too young to listen but he just wouldn't stop putting her back. I asked him to bring her to me once. Of course he refused telling me she was just fine playing on the floor with Katherine.

She was standing back up again and thankfully Edward wasn't in the room. I quickly got off of the sofa and bent down to pick her up. It felt so nice being able to walk without Edward or Masen trailing behind me.

Alexa seemed more then content to be in my arms.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward didn't sound too happy to see me standing there in the middle of the living room holding our daughter. I turned around slowly to face him and gave him a big smile. "You know you shouldn't be…"

"I'm going to go insane if I stay on that sofa another second longer, Edward." I interrupted. "It's not going to kill me to get up and hold Alexa. I'm fine, I don't feel weak or anything. I promise."

"But…" He started but I didn't want to hear any more. I refused to sit back down. "Fine, you have fifteen minutes." He said to me. I raised an eyebrow at him and asked when he became in charge of me. "I just want you to be careful." He sighed walking over to me. I clutched Alexa tighter to me not wanting him to take her. I hadn't been able to hold her in three days, there was no way I was giving her up now.

He didn't take her though. He didn't even try. He just wrapped his arms around the both of us and planted a kiss on top of both of our heads.

"I promise I'm being careful, Edward. If I feel the slightest dizzy or nauseous you'll be the first to know." I reasoned. Edward nodded reluctantly and left me to go back to helping the other guys.

"Finally." I laughed turning my attention back to Alexa. I blew a raspberry on her cheek. She let out the most adorable giggle. "I've missed you baby girl." I hugged her tightly as she let out another giggle. I could listen to that giggle for forever and never get tired of it. It was one of the most amazing sounds I had ever heard.

"Katherine was that cute once." Rosalie spoke up for the first time she had gotten to my house. I looked over at her and Isabelle was knocked out in her arms.

"They already set everything up in Lex's room you can go lay Isabelle in her crib." I told Rosalie knowing that she was getting tired of holding her baby. I smiled knowing that she knew as well as I did that it was all worth it.

Rosalie left the room and Alice closed her magazine. I bit on my lip wondering what I wanted to do next. I now had the freedom to walk about as I pleased as long as I was careful.

Alexa started to squirm in my arms so I set her down. She toddled right back over to Katherine and started playing with her again. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You're not supposed to be up." Masen walked into the living room frowning at me. I just rolled my eyes and told him that I was a grown woman and I could do as I pleased. "Please, Mom, just sit back down." He groaned. Lane came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Mase, your Mom is fine." Masen turned his head to look at her. He just sighed and shook his head.

"Fine." He gave in. He walked back outside with the other guys. Lane happily walked over and sat on the love seat that Rosalie had previously occupied. She had the widest grin on her face and I couldn't help but walk over and sit next to her. I wondered if maybe she'd tell me more about her and Masen's relationship. Masen wouldn't say a thing only that they were together and he was happy. That just wasn't enough information for me.

She seemed to tense up once I sat down.

"I'm not going to bite, Lane." I laughed. "I just wanted to ask how things were going with my son." Lane relaxed and turned her face towards me. Her smile was back and a dreamy look was in her eyes as she thought about my son.

"Things are going great." She told me simply.

"Oh, that's good." I said trying to figure out what else I could say to encourage her to tell me more.

"Oh! Girl talk!" Alice jumped up a little in her seat on the sofa. She clapped her hands together and smiled at us. I just rolled my eyes and once again Lane stiffened.

"Alice don't scare her." Rosalie walked back into the room and sat down next to Alice.

"Uh, there's nothing really to tell." Lane said nervously. "Oh, look there's Masen! I bet he needs me." Lane stood up and walked quickly towards the front door. Masen hadn't even come inside yet from going out there earlier.

"Thanks, for scaring her off Alice." I glared at my best friend.

"You can't tell me you didn't want to know more about their relationship."

"I did but I didn't want to scare her like you did." I laughed.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked before the pizza arrived for everyone. The guys had just finished helping Edward bring his and Alexa's things, so I decided to order them some pizza as a thank you.

"I am feeling just fine, would you stop asking me?" I frowned at him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest.

"I'm sorry that I'm being so overprotective, I just don't want you to exhaust yourself. I can't handle you fainting on me again." He sighed placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"You can't expect me to just sit on the couch for the next six months. I've got work and you won't always be around to help with Lex." I huffed stepping back from him a little. His arms stayed around my waist. He wasn't letting me go.

"I know that…I just…you scared me, Bella. For a split second I thought…" He didn't finish his sentence and I knew by the crack in his voice what he was going to say.

_For a split second he thought he lost me. _

He pulled me back to him and rested his head on top of mine. I just sighed and let myself relax into him.

The doorbell rang. Edward pulled away from me, but not before placing another kiss on top of my head. He grabbed the money off of the coffee table and went to get the pizzas. I just sighed and watched my man walk towards the door. I couldn't help but stare at his butt. I bit down on my lip, these pregnancy hormones were going to get the best of me because right at that moment I wanted to pull Edward away from everyone and into our bedroom.

_Our bedroom._

I smiled at that thought. I couldn't believe I was finally able to say that. I'd been waiting for so long…

"Bella, do you want a salad?" Edward pulled me from my thoughts. I shook my head. No, I wanted some pizza but by the look on his face I knew he wasn't going to allow me any. I'd ask Alice to sneak me a slice later, it just smelled too good to pass it up.

"Sure, make me a salad." I grumbled and sat down at the table between Masen and Emmett. I pouted watching everyone enjoy the cheesy goodness while I got to chow down on rabbit food. Edward put the salad in front of me, I thanked him with a smile and pretended I was happy about eating healthy.

Emmett began to tease me about not being able to eat what they were eating. Edward growled at him and told him that wasn't nice. I tried to get Alice to just give me a bite of hers but she just shook her head. I reminded her that she was pregnant too and needed to eat just as healthy as I did. She gaped at me and told me not to say that too loud in case Jasper heard.

"You're anemic, I'm not." She stuck her tongue out at me ending our argument.

I got up from the table before everyone else was finished. I hadn't even finished my salad but I suddenly didn't have much of an appetite.

Edward walked into the kitchen after me with Alexa on his hip. He sat a bowl in the sink. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not going to make you eat healthy alone." He sighed. I just grinned at him and thanked him.

"But, you don't have to do that." I tried.

"I know." He said simply. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Alexa was giggling about something. I gave her a strange look and then attacked her with my hands. Edward began tickling her too. She was gasping for air and giggling like crazy.

"No! No!" She cried still giggling. We stopped tickling her soon after because I could tell she was about to get upset.

* * *

That night Edward and I brought Alexa up to her room soon after everyone had left. I helped him dress her in her pajamas and then lay her in her crib. I kissed her forehead and smoothed back her hair. Edward did the same, then wrapped his arm around my waist as well told our little girl goodnight.

"This is…beyond anything I could imagine." I sighed when we got to our room.

"What is?" He questioned looking confused. He pulled his shirt off and once again I had to fight to keep myself from jumping him.

"This…us…our family." I whispered trying to not let my eyes land on his chest. I climbed into bed quickly and turned off the lamp on my nightstand.

"I know what you mean." He whispered back getting into the bed and pulling me close to him.


	32. Chapter 32

:) sorry this took so long. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do for this chapter until yesterday. I hope it's good enough. and I'm excited that i'm almost to 400 reviews. You guys are all amazing!

Chapter 32

Christmas came all too quickly. I wasn't ready for it but I knew I had to be. I was sixteen weeks by that point and Edward just seemed to get even more overprotective. I didn't even think that was possible. I thought that maybe after the day he moved in that he would ease up a little but there had been a small moment where I felt a little dizzy.

The one thing I refused to do for him was take time off of from my job so soon. It was my only out from my overprotective home life and I enjoyed every second of it. Rosalie was starting back after being gone on maternity leave. She told me that the time she spent away from the hospital was miserable, that having her girls was the only reason she liked being home. Apparently Emmett was only an added bonus at times. I knew she was joking of course. I remember asking her if Emmett was as overprotective as Edward was being. She told me that with Katherine he was since she was their first but with Isabelle he let loose a little more.

She also told me that Edward was probably acting this way because this was the first time he'd been around a woman pregnant with his child. I had forgotten that he hadn't known Tanya was pregnant until she almost had Alexa. He hadn't even been there for her birth.

Even though Rosalie was probably right there was no way I could spend the next twenty-four weeks like this.

I was now sitting in my bed Indian style as I flipped through a magazine. I didn't even bother reading the articles, instead just looking at the pictures for a second and then turn the page. It was boring me but Edward was home since it was Christmas Eve and there was no way he'd let me leave this stupid room. He was in the kitchen making dinner for everyone coming over tonight. I had insisted on helping Edward but he refused which only made me angry with him. We'd decided to have Christmas Eve dinner here and then Christmas dinner at Alice's where we would exchange gifts.

I'd threatened him every day with sleeping on the sofa. He'd just hang his head and nod. He'd take a pillow and blanket into the living room and not an hour later I would be standing in front of him needing him to come lay down with me because I couldn't sleep. This happened pretty much every night. It had sort of become a routine.

"Is he ever going to let you leave this room?" Alice bounced in. I smiled happy to finally have some sort of company.

"I'm beginning to think not. If we don't show up for dinner tomorrow night then I'm sure you'll know why." I huffed.

"You better be at dinner tomorrow! I will threaten that boyfriend of yours with bodily harm if you are not there!" She hopped onto my bed mimicking the way I was sitting.

I smiled knowing that Alice would do just that but there was no way he could talk me out of not going to Alice's. We always spent Christmas day together, ever since we met. Before she married Jasper she would stay the night and we'd get up early in the morning to watch Masen plow through his many gifts. Charlie and Renee went nuts every year when he was younger. None of my gifts seemed to add up to the expensive things they got him. I never minded them spending money on my kid as long as they didn't spend it on me. Masen deserved everything he got and if Charlie and Renee wanted to spoil him I wasn't going to get in their way.

"Oh, Alice I forgot to ask." I bit my lower lip. I'd completely forgotten that a few days before Phil had called me and asked if he could spend Christmas with me and Masen. I had happily agreed knowing he hadn't seen Masen in years. Masen had always thought of Phil as his other grandfather since he hadn't met Carlisle yet. "Will it be alright if I bring Phil to dinner tomorrow? He's coming over in the morning and wants to spend the day with us."

"The more the merrier." She grinned excitedly. "And I might have invited Jacob."

"Alice!" I groaned. I knew that Jacob spent every Christmas with us but it somehow didn't feel right anymore.

"Bella, we can't just push him out now! Plus, he doesn't have anywhere else to go and I hate seeing people alone on Christmas!" She was bouncing in her spot now. I wondered how a woman 19 weeks pregnant could be as excited as Alice was right now. Pregnancy hadn't changed her one bit.

She was right of course. I just hoped that it wouldn't be as awkward as I had a feeling it was going to be.

There was a knock on the door. Rosalie poked her head in and smiled at us. I smiled back at her telling her to join us. She was holding a sleeping Isabelle in her arms.

"Can I hold her?" I asked. Rosalie nodded and handed the sleeping baby over to me. "She looks so much like Emmett." I laughed. Katherine looked more like Rosalie then Emmett but this baby seemed to be all her father. When she was first born I could see more of Rosalie's features but not anymore.

"True but maybe she'll have more of my personality then Katherine." Katherine might look like Rose but everything else about her screamed Emmett. Emmett couldn't have been more proud. "So, Alice you find out the sex next week?" We both turned our attention to our pixie-like friend. She beamed at us and nodded. She was excited to finally know what she was having. She had warmed up to the idea of possibly having a boy, I figured Jasper had something to do with this.

Edward came in soon after to tell me Charlie was there. He hadn't even protested when I quickly handed Isabelle back and jumped out of the bed. He knew how much I missed Charlie. Although he did tell me to slow down when I reached the hall. I just scoffed and told him to shove it.

Charlie was standing in the middle of the living room waiting for me. Upon seeing him I smiled and hugged him tightly. He was never one for hugs but he hadn't hesitated to hug me right back. He kissed my temple and told me how much he missed me. He asked about the babies and how I had been feeling lately. I told him about Edward hovering. He just laughed telling me that he would have probably been doing the exact same thing if I had become anemic when I was pregnant with Masen.

"Where's Sue?" I asked him.

"Spending time with her family, she'll be at Alice's tomorrow though. Seth and Leah too." He told me. I just nodded.

"Ready for the big day?"

"For the most part." He chuckled. "How about you? Are you ready for your big day?" He asked reaching out and placing his hand on my stomach.

"Actually, I am more then ready." I smiled. He took his hand back and nodded. "But I am also completely terrified." I said honestly.

"You'll do just fine, Bells."

"You too Dad." I laughed. He gave me a one arm hug before going into the kitchen.

I took that moment to walk outside. Edward was in the kitchen with everyone else. I doubt he'd even notice I wasn't in the house. I opened the front door and smiled feeling the cold air on my face. I knew Edward would freak out knowing that I walked outside in this weather. I pulled on my jacket and closed the door. It felt nice being outside, even if I hated this sort of weather.

"Hey." I hadn't even heard the door open behind me. I knew that voice. I groaned internally knowing he was about to tell me I needed to go inside. He was right but I wasn't ready just yet.

"Edward, I've got cabin fever." I grumbled crossing my arms across my midsection. "Just a couple more minutes and I'll be inside. Promise." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He approached me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder. I relaxed into him.

"You know you could get sick out here." He ruined my moment. "But, I won't tell you to go inside just yet. Just I'm begging you to not get sick." I couldn't help but laugh at the pleading in his voice, as if I had any control over it.

For the next ten minutes we stayed like that, not saying a word to each other. It felt nice. I was starting to freeze so I decided I was ready to go in. I'd gotten enough air for now.

* * *

My kitchen was busy. Everyone was digging into the food Edward had made, and for the first time in what felt like forever he actually let me eat what I pleased. As long as I promised to go back on my diet after the holidays, of course.

"Hey Ma." Masen walked into the kitchen where I standing alone. Just moments before everyone had seemed to migrate towards the dining room and living room. I was contemplating if I wanted to start cleaning up or not.

"Hey kid." I smiled at him. He leaned his back against the counter facing me. "What's up?" I furrowed my brow when I realized he had a very serious look on his face.

"Nothing." He shrugged. "I thought Carlisle and Esme were coming for Christmas." I sighed. That was the original plan, but something got in the way and they couldn't make it. Edward had seemed a little down about it, of course he wouldn't out right tell me this. I had to guess. I told Masen why Carlisle and Esme couldn't make it, honestly I didn't even know the reason so I just told him what Edward told me, which wasn't much. All I got from him was 'something got in the way.'

I decided not to tell Masen that Phil would be spending Christmas day with us. I figured I'd let it be a surprise.

I noticed Masen's face was still serious. There was something he wasn't telling me. I wasn't sure if I should push the subject or not.

"I miss her." He took a deep breath. I wrapped my arms around my son and smoothed back his hand. "She should be here." He was sobbing into my shoulder now. I knew exactly what he meant. I missed her too. I tried not to think about Renee. Most days I'd do good but other's I didn't. I wanted her here right now, I wanted her to see how amazing her first grandson had gotten and see how happy I am with Edward after all these years of waiting for it. I wanted her to be here for the birth of my babies.

I shut my eyes and let my own sobs take over my body as I held my oldest kid close to me.


	33. Chapter 33

Took me awhile, eh? Sorry about that you guys! Hope you like this chapter. :)

Chapter 33

I lay in bed that night unable to sleep. Edward lay next to me snoring softly unaware of my lack of sleep. Part of me wanted to wake him up and make him suffer with me but the other part of me wanted to let him sleep so that at least one of us wouldn't be cranky on Christmas day.

I was just about to turn over and try to fall asleep again when I heard a loud knock coming from downstairs. I looked over at Edward and he hadn't heard a thing. I pushed him gently to wake him up but when that didn't work I gave him a rough shove. I really hadn't meant to push him off the bed but that's where he ended up at.

"There's someone at the door." I whispered when he stood up looking at me strangely. There was another knock followed by the doorbell. Edward just stood there scratching his head like he had no idea what was going on. I frowned and hopped out of bed. I pulled on my robe and made my way downstairs.

Who in the world would be at my front door at four o'clock in the morning? I could feel Edward close behind me as I walked down the stairs. There was another knock before I reached out and unlocked the door.

"Wait." Edward stopped me from turning the knob. I looked back at him confused. "Let me get it. You don't know who it is." He said sleepily. I nodded and stepped back. Edward ran his hand through his hair one last time before opening the door.

Edward gasped audibly at the stranger. I quickly reached him and peaked past him to see who our visitor was. Standing there in front of us was a strawberry blond woman I had never seen before in my life. She looked like she hadn't bathed in weeks. Her clothes were completely torn to pieces and she looked as if she'd fall over any second. She wobbled a bit before leaning against my doorframe for support.

"Tanya? What are you doing here?" Edward hissed at the woman. Tanya? Where had I heard that name before? It sounded all too familiar.

"Oh, Eddie-bear." She slurred almost losing her balance. "I've missed you." She went to fall backwards but Edward reached forward and caught her. He steadied the woman again.

I was just about to start demanding Edward to tell me who this woman was when he turned to me.

"Bella, go upstairs." I widened my eyes. There was no way in hell I was going upstairs and leaving Edward with this woman. I shook my head no at me. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair again.

"I want to see my daughter!" Tanya slurred loudly.

Oh God.

This was Alexa's mother? This drugged out woman gave birth to that beautiful angel sleeping upstairs?

"Bella, can you please go upstairs?" Edward turned to me. I glared at him and shook my head again. He had to be kidding me if he really thought I would go upstairs and leave him down here with her. "Fine." He huffed turning back towards Tanya.

Tanya gave Edward a smile that I assumed was meant to be sexy but actually made her look like she was constipated. I bit down on my lip waiting for Edward to say or do something. I wanted her out of my house. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't even know where we live.

"You need to leave, Tanya." Edward finally spoke up to her. I wondered now why he wanted me to go upstairs if he was just going to send her away.

"Not until I see my baby." She replied keeping her body glued to the doorframe. "Please, Edward! Just let me see her!" She was begging now. I quickly put my hand in Edwards as he took another deep breath.

"Tanya, you're not in the right state of mind to see her right now." Edward tried.

"She's my daughter! You can't deny me my daughter!" She was screaming now trying to stand up straight but it just wasn't working well for her.

"Actually, Tanya, you have no rights towards Alexa so yes I can deny you from seeing her." Edward was starting to get angry at Tanya. I just wanted her to leave. She might have given birth to Alexa but she gave her up. I'm more Alexa's mother then she will ever be. Thinking over all of this I started getting angry. She really had no right to be here! "You promised me." I looked at Edward strangely when he said this. "That day I came to visit you in Seattle you told me you were doing better. I thought rehab was helping."

Wait, the day he visited her in Seattle?

"Just let me see her and I'll get clean again! I promise, Edward!" She tried hanging on him but he pushed her off. "It's just so hard." She shut her eyes. "I just want to sleep." And with that she lurched forward and passed out. Edward reached out and caught her before she hit the ground.

"Edward, what is going on?" I demanded. He just shook his head and carried Tanya towards the sofa. I followed frowning. He really had some explaining to do. First though, he needed to get Tanya out of my house and away from my children. There was no way in hell she would ever get to see Alexa again if I had anything to do with it.

Edward grabbed the phone and started calling someone. He left the room and came back looking even angrier then he had before.

"She escaped rehab. How in the fuck did she do that?" He growled running a hand through his hair. I hadn't expected that tone of voice coming from him. I was just about to say something when he stopped me. "Later, Bella. Let me just get her back to the rehab center." He exhaled.

"You're driving her there?" I asked him frowning.

"I'll be back in a few hours." Edward went to grab for his keys.

"Wait, why don't you take Masen with you?" I bit down on my bottom lip.

Edward ran upstairs to get our son. I watched as the two of them carried Tanya out of the house.

"You better be ready to start telling me what is going on as soon as you get home." I kissed Edward's cheek.

"Of course, love." He sighed kissing my forehead. Masen groggily got into Edward's Volvo. I could tell he really wasn't ready to be awake yet.

I couldn't believe this was happening. And on Christmas of all days!

---

After they left I sat down on the sofa and flipped on the TV. There was nothing on so I went upstairs and pulled Alexa from her crib. She whined a little but when I laid her down in my bed with me she went right back to sleep. I just laid there and watched her slumber. My body was overly tired but I just couldn't sleep. I knew I would really regret it later.

Hours later I heard the front door open and then slam shut. I peaked at Alexa before rushing down the stairs. Edward looked tired. Masen laid back on the couch and shut his eyes.

I walked up to Edward and he tried to wrap me in his arms but I shook my head.

"You and me. Talk. Now." I frowned. Edward hung his head then nodded. "Masen, get to your room and catch some sleep." I turned to him.

"I'm not tired." I sat up. "I want to know what is happening too."

"This isn't the right time, Mase. Go upstairs." I was quickly starting to get annoyed. "Now!" I had to press it. Masen started to grumble but listened. I turned back towards Edward and pointed towards the sofa.

"Bella, maybe we should get some sleep and we can talk about this tomorrow or maybe after Christmas." He sighed.

"No way." I shook my head. "You tell me now or leave." I didn't want to say I was suddenly feeling hurt. I wanted the truth and I wanted it right now. I wasn't even sure I would go through with that plan but it sounded right as it slipped off my tongue.

"Alright. I'll tell you." He cast his eyes down. He sat on the sofa and tried to pull me down on his lap. I sat in the chair across from him not wanting him to distract me. "I wasn't completely honest about my relationship with Tanya."

"Okay. Be honest now." I gritted my teeth.

"She…Bella I was lonely and I needed to fill that hole that you left."

"Which was completely not my fault!" I interrupted.

"Just listen." He raised his voice a little. "She worked at the strip club a friend of mine owned. I was drunk off my ass that night. I didn't want a one night stand with her. I had seen her before and I wanted more but I figured I would take what I could get. To this day I don't know exactly what I was thinking. Being in a relationship with someone like her? That would have never worked and I knew I could never love her. She told me on day one she wouldn't quit her job. But back to what I'm trying to tell you…I slept with her one night. She doesn't sleep around. She might do other things but fucking random guys is not something she did back then."

I glared at him. I couldn't believe what he was saying to me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hit him. How could he have not told me this before? How could he have kept something like that from me? I just…I don't know what to say to him.

"I never saw her again after that. She stopped working at the club and my friend had no way to get a hold of her. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I just wanted…" He looked away. I just took a deep breath and told him to keep going before I screamed. "Alright. Almost nine months later she showed up on my doorstep. She walked into my apartment and not two minutes later did she go into labor. I was sick to my stomach when she said she wasn't keeping Lex. So, I took over full custody and Tanya gave away all her rights. I know Alexa is mine even though on the drive to the rehab center Tanya told me that Alexa was someone else's…"

Now I felt sick to my stomach. That little girl upstairs was Edwards. She looked so much like him, so much like Masen did as a baby.

"Edward, I need you to tell me where you really were that day in Seattle." Edward widened his eyes. He got off the sofa and got down on his knees crawling over to me. His hands rested on my knees as I tried to push him away. He wouldn't budge so I gave up.

"Bella, we were so fragile then. I didn't want to tell you something that would make you not want me. I wanted you so bad…"

"So you lied to me?" I was getting so much more angrier by the second.

"I didn't plan on it, Bella! I promise I meant to tell you the truth." He sounded as if he were begging. "Tanya was going through a hard time after I left with Alexa. I know I shouldn't feel sorry for her. The way she's treating my daughter. The child she gave birth to. The little girl that I raised until now on my own. I just…I wanted her to get clean. I needed her to. Even if she had no rights to Alexa I don't want my daughter one day to ask me where her biological mother is and I have to say she's dead. You're her mother in everyway but one, Bella. I would never ever take that away from you but one day we will tell Alexa. One day I know it will somehow come up and I won't lie to her." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I needed him to go on.

"That day I told you I was doing something to work…I didn't. I picked Tanya up from the airport in Seattle and talked her in to getting help. It took longer then I thought it would but I managed to get her there. I didn't know until tonight that she had gotten out. I was sure that it would clean her up…"

"How did she get my address, Edward? How in the fuck did she know to come look for you here?" I growled.

"I…sent her a letter last week." He looked away.

"Get out!" I stood up screaming.

"Bella, don't do this." He stood up too. I shook my head.

"Edward please leave right now before I shoot you." I wouldn't really do that but I couldn't control what I was saying any longer. I just wanted him out of my face. Out of my house. "Go!" I stumped my foot when he didn't move. Edward was pouting and trying to tell me to calm down and just let him explain everything to me. That wasn't happening. Not now. Not after he lied to me. Not after all of this he just told me…right now wasn't the time for his excuses.

Edward turned away from me and grabbed his keys. He started walking towards the stairs.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Getting some clothes, Bella." He huffed. There was no way he was going to get angry with me right now. This is not my fault.

I thought maybe he was going to take Alexa. I knew she wasn't my daughter…but that would just kill me. I didn't know what was going to happen after today but there was no way I'd let her out of my life now.

-

Edward had been gone three hours now. It was almost nine in the morning and I knew I should be expecting Phil soon. I needed to go upstairs and wash away my tears. I wasn't going to do this in front of the people that mean the most to me.

"Mom, where's Edward?" My now awake son descended the stairs.

"Gone." I choked out.

"Gone as in never coming back?" He frowned.

"I don't know right now." I told him honestly.

"You're making the biggest mistake, Mom! Despite what I've made myself believe these past couple of months we do need him. He completes this family and you know that as well as I do." I widened my eyes at Masen's words. I tried to explain to my son that what Edward did wasn't something I could just let go. "Whatever he did probably doesn't compare to the lie that you kept from him for sixteen years." He had never thrown that in my face.

I was about to start saying something when the doorbell rang. Masen walked quickly to answer it. I knew it was Phil. I didn't need him to see me like this.

"Papa Phil?" I heard Masen gasp. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to visit you, of course." I heard him tell my kid. "Now come on, I've got gifts for you. Where's your mother?"

"In here." I croaked out. Masen happily walked into the room trailing Phil. I hugged my step-dad. "You didn't have to bring gifts." I said looking at the few in his arms.

"It's Christmas, of course I did." He grinned. "You haven't opened gifts yet have you?" He asked. I shook my head and excused myself to get Alexa out of bed.

Her hair looked like a haystack when I picked her up. She must have had a hard deep sleep. She smiled and giggled when she saw me.

"Dada?" She asked.

"Dada isn't here right now, Princess." I tell her. She frowns at me sticking her tiny lip out. "But you've got Christmas presents downstairs from Santa." Alexa looked at me curiously. I brushed back her hair and walked out of the room and down the stairs with her.

I hadn't heard the doorbell but Charlie was sitting on the couch when I came down the stairs.

All he had to do was look at me and he knew something was wrong.

"Come on, let's open some gifts." I gave them the best smile I could muster. I knew Charlie was going to ask me where Edward was so I mouthed 'later' to him. He just nodded and took Alexa from me.

This felt wrong without Edward but I was going to stand my ground on this one.


	34. Chapter 34

Since this chapter is so short and skips pov's i'm going to send you the letter edward wrote Tanya. but ONLY if you review. If I get a good response I've been thinking about writing small moments from Masen's childhood, Bella's life without Edward and Edward's life without Bella. :) they won't be long. the letter is only 427 words. even if you don't review i will be posting the different small moments after the story is finished. Oh, you guys are amazing. and no edward was not under the influence at the time in the situation below.

Chapter 34

EPOV

I can't believe I've done this to the woman I'm in love with. I should have just told her. I could have prevented all of this if I had just been honest up front.

Everything I told Bella tonight had been true. Even the part that I wanted a life with Tanya. I was just missing my Bella and I thought if I replaced her then I could get over her completely but I knew that I would never be able to replace her. Bella was the love of my life. The one person I was meant to be with.

I didn't want to mess up everything when we had just started to fix our relationship. I knew that if I told her then she would be upset that I was still in my past. I knew I needed to let that go but Tanya is the mother of my angel. She might not be in Lex's life but no matter what that was her mother. I don't want Alexa to ask me one day where her real mom is and I have to tell her she's dead. That was my whole reasoning of helping Tanya.

I knew that in every way Bella would be Alexa's mom. I knew that she would love Bella the way a child loved their mother. We'd make sure of that. I just…I'm stupid.

I'm stupid for doing what I've done.

So, I guess that's why I'm sitting at a bar downing beer after beer. Drowning those sorrows. I just need to forget it right now. It's killing me.

I want to rip my hair out right now. I've ruined everything.

I sat there on the stool just staring down at the counter. Somehow I seemed to be hoping I could find some sort of sign on it. Maybe it could tell me what I should do next. I knew I needed to get my family back but part of me felt like Bella wouldn't forgive me too easily for this.

I lied to her. The one thing I promised myself I would never do.

Bella hadn't really lied to me. She had kept a secret. I guess that was just about the same as what I did but I promise I didn't do it to get back at her. I was trying to protect her. Sort of like she was trying to protect me from not having everything I wanted in life because of our son. I would have gladly given everything up for them. I hoped she knew that much now.

My seventh beer was finished by now and I wasn't sure if I could take anymore alcohol. I was ready to go but I didn't know where I would be going. I had no other home anymore then the one that I had with my Bella.

I pulled out my cell phone and tried to concentrate on dialing a number. I tried to call Emmett but he wasn't picking up. Jasper wasn't either. I couldn't think of anyone else to call.

It looked like I would be driving myself. I reached in my pocket and put some bills on the counter for the bartender. I didn't even know how much I gave the guy but that didn't matter.

I stumbled through out of the bar but was stopped by the bartended saying he called me a cab. I thanked him and sat down on the ground outside. I couldn't stand any longer. I knew I'd pass out if I did.

I was no better then Tanya right at this moment. I was doing exactly what she did minus the drugs. Bella wouldn't want me now after this. She wouldn't want a boyfriend or husband that acted this way. Right now that's all I really knew.

The cab driver groaned when he saw how drunk I was. He ended up being silent the entire ride to the address I had given him. I wasn't even sure if I gave him the right one.

He pulled up in front of the house and rattled off to me how much the drive had been. I threw a couple different bills his way before sloppily getting out of the cab.

I stumbled up the walk and knocked harshly on the front door. I heard mumbles on the other side. I heard Emmett curse a few times before swinging the door open.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" He rubbed at his eyes.

"Bella kicked me out." I slurred to him.

"You're drunk. Jesus, Edward are you really that stupid? Did you drive here?" He looked past me to see if my car was here. I shook my head. I would have driven here if it weren't for the bartender. "Get in the house." He pulled on my shoulder roughly pulling me into the house.

"I'm sorry, Emmett, I didn't know where else to go." I told him sitting down on his couch and resting my head in my hands.

"You could have gone home and made whatever happened tonight better with Bella. Instead of coming to my house at such an ungodly hour on Christmas." He sat down across from me. "Now what did you do to mess up this relationship with Bella again?"

"Why do you think I had messed it up? How do you think it couldn't be Bella's fault?" I raised my head up.

"Because Bella's not that stupid." He told me. "Now tell me that I'm wrong." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"It was my fault. I kept things from her and it all just blew up in my face tonight. I was stupid and I regret not telling her about Seattle and visiting Tanya. I just…didn't know…I still don't." I tell him.

"You're an idiot, Edward." He laughed. I just shook my head. He wasn't telling me something I didn't know. "But you're going to sleep off this alcohol and then wake up and go be with your family. I'll bring you to your car after the girls open gifts in the morning." Emmett stood up. I nodded as he threw a blanket at me. He mumbled something underneath his breath before going back upstairs to bed.

I shut my eyes once I was alone in the dark.

I'd do exactly what Emmett told me to do in the morning.

BPOV

I clutched the phone in my hand before I sunk down to the ground. Tears were already running down my cheeks. That's where Charlie and Phil found me not long after the phone call.

Charlie picked me up off the floor and demanded to know what happened. I just looked up at him and shook my head. I started blubbering thrusting the phone at him.

"Mom, what's going on?" Masen came into the kitchen now.

"Charlie, Phil stay with Alexa I need to get to Edward. Get in the truck Masen." I spoke clearly. Charlie and Phil both nodded as I rushed towards the front door still in my pajamas.

"Mom?"

"He got in a car accident this morning, Masen. He might not make it." I choked. Masen's face fell as he took the keys from me. He helped me into the passenger seat before we took off towards the hospital.


	35. Chapter 35

Wow, I'm in awe. Over 50 reviews last chapter which makes that chapter the one with the most reviews. So, that means I'm going to stick with sending you guys different sort of oneshots going along with this story when you review. Chapter 34 was the letter to Tanya. This chapter you will get a minichapter where Bella finds out she's pregnant with Masen. Now, pleasepleaseplease don't hate me! I'm begging you to not hate me. Oh and I'm not much of a doctor so anything i've said here pertaining to anything medical is just what i've heard on the health channel which i sort of watch religiously. anyhow, next will be edward's pov because I feel the wreck is better explained through his eyes. don't hate me!

Chapter 35

I bit down on my lip as Masen helped me out of the truck. I instantly started in a run towards the front entrance of the emergency room.

"Mom, slow down." I heard my son behind me. I just shook my head. There was nothing going to stop me from seeing my Edward. I choked back a sob thinking about the fact that I had just gotten a call from the hospital telling me he was in an accident. They told me that he wasn't doing good, after that I didn't hear anything else. All that mattered was the fact that they told me he was in an accident and he was hurt.

"Where is Edward Cullen?" I demanded of the clerk at the front. She gave me a strange look before checking her computer.

"Mr. Cullen was just brought in. He's in surgery right now. I'll have to ask you to sit in the waiting room until we know anything more." She gave me a smile. It took everything in me not to snatch that woman up and punch her in the face. How could she look so calm at a time like this?

This was the father of my children we were talking about! The man I planned to marry one day despite everything that seemed to get in our way. I knew I overreacted the night before but it just hurt to know he lied to me about what he did in Seattle. It hurt even worse that he was still in contact with Tanya.

I couldn't think about that right now. I needed to focus on getting this lady to tell me something more then the fact he was in surgery.

I started to yell when I felt someone behind me. Masen pulled me away from the counter and towards the waiting room.

"Let me go!" I screamed. Masen just kept pulling me back. I was kicking and screaming probably making a complete fool of myself. I didn't care. I just wanted to see Edward. I wanted into his eyes again and know he was alright. I needed him to be alright.

"Come on Mom, there's nothing you can do screaming at the desk clerks." He pushed me down in a chair taking my hand and making sure I didn't make a run for it.

I felt reassured with my sons hand in my own. It still wasn't enough. I wanted Edward's hand to be in my other. I would stop at nothing until that happened.

I anxiously tapped my foot. Every time a doctor would come into the room I would jump up and ask them if they had any information on Edward. Each time they told me no. Each time I would slump back into my chair and pout.

"He's going to be alright." Masen muttered after awhile. I had just sat back down after calling Esme and Carlisle. Masen had handled calling everyone else to let them know Edward was hurt. The strange thing was Rose told him Emmett was supposed to be dropping him off at his car earlier but hadn't returned home yet. She was going to call him and ask if he had seen the wreck. I was even more nervous by this point. According to Rose he should have been home over an hour ago.

"You don't know that." I said a little too harshly to my son. I looked over at him to see that he was about to start crying. "Masen, I'm sorry! I didn't mean…"

"It's true, Mom. I don't know. None of us know! And honestly I'm blaming all of this on you." I widened my eyes. I hadn't expected that to come out of his mouth. I just…wasn't expecting that.

Masen was right though, this was all my fault. If I hadn't kicked Edward out then he wouldn't have been out and about this morning and he wouldn't be laying in the OR right now. I did this. I ruined everything.

"I'm going for a walk, be back in a little bit to check up." Masen mumbled and walked briskly away from me. I felt sick to my stomach as I let my sobs take over my body. I was on the floor when the doctor walked into the room and asked where Edward's family was. I had jumped up and noticed Alice and Jasper were entering the room behind him. Alice instantly went to my side as the doctor spoke to me.

"Mr. Cullen is just out of surgery. There were a few minor problems during his surgery. There is a possibility that Mr. Cullen has lost all feeling in his legs…" That's all I heard. The rest was just gibberish. The rest was too much for me to handle. He would probably never be able to walk again. My Edward was going to be confined to a wheel chair the rest of his life. "Now do any of you know an Emmett McCarty? He was the driver of the car."

At that I saw Rosalie run through the doors of the hospital. Tears were running down her face as she joined us.

"That's my husband!" She screamed.

"Mr. McCarty is just fine. Mr. Cullen was on the passenger side where the car hit. Mr. McCarty is just getting a few more tests done and he will be released. You can see him if you want." I fell to the floor at this. How could this be? Emmett was fine but Edward would never walk again? How…how?

"Can I see Edward?" I gasped out.

"He's sleeping right now but I'll come out here and tell you when you can come see him." He smiled at me.

"How can you smile!?! You just told me the love of my life lost his legs! Do not smile!" I screamed. This time it wasn't Masen holding me back but tiny Alice.

"We were able to save his legs, Ma'am. He just will not have any feeling in them." He spoke calmly.

"Same difference!" I threw my hands in the air. "I don't care if he's resting or whatever. I want to see him. Now!" I shouted. The doctor just nodded and told me to follow him. I told Alice to tell Masen what happened when he got back in.

Rosalie had followed us but was directed in a different direction then me. She held her little girls in her arms as she rushed to her husband. I shut my eyes as the doctor told me Edward was already in a permanent room on the fourth floor. I nodded and he gave me the room number.

I took a deep breath before entering room 513. It was dark and I could hear different beeping noises coming from inside. I tried to calm down before I let myself look at his sleeping form. He looked so banged up laying there. His left arm was in a cast. His poor face looked as if he had been beat to death. I gasped when I saw the huge gash across his cheek. I couldn't hold my tears in. It was killing me just looking at him.

I went to turn around to leave but I was brought back by a light whisper.

"Bella?" I turned around to see those beautiful green eyes. I sobbed and rushed towards him.

"Oh Edward!" I sat down in the chair next to the bed. He had tried to reach out to me but we both knew that wouldn't work. "Never do this to me again!" I cried out.

"Bella." Was all he said as his eyes shown with guilt. Why was he guilty? He had nothing to be guilty over. He couldn't have prevented this. No, this wasn't his fault. It was mine. What I did was something I could have prevented.

"I'm so sorry, Edward! I'm sorry for everything I've done to you! I'm so sorry!" I cried into the blanket on the bed.

"Bella, I love you." He let out. I just nodded. He was sounding out of breath so I hadn't expected him to say anything more.

I reached my hand out to touch his legs. I looked into his eyes and asked him if he could feel what I was doing. He couldn't. I asked if the doctor told him why. He nodded and apologized.

"I love you, Edward Cullen. Even if you have no legs. I will always love you." I whispered as I let the tears roll down my face. I looked to see Edward crying just as hard as I was.

My heart was breaking just looking at him. I could have lost him today. So what they he can't use his legs, he's still alive. He's breathing. That's all that matters any more.


	36. Chapter 36

I know, I suck at life but please don't give up on me with this story. So, thank you all for reviewing. If you review this chapter you will get the minichapter i wrote of bella after she had masen. chapter 34 was the letter and 35 was bella finding out she was pregnant. would any of you want to see a minichapter from edward? and any moments you'd like to see? Anyway, this is Edward's POV. He's all mixed up right now.

Chapter 36

It all happened so quickly that I can't exactly explain everything. All I remember is getting in the car with Emmett so he could take me to my car. After that it's all blurry and then all I can hear when I think about the wreck is the screeching of tires and the terrible sound of metal clashing together.

I had only stayed awake for a few seconds after the impact. I just wanted to sleep so terribly that nothing else matter. Nothing but my family. I knew closing my eyes I was risking death but if I kept my eyes open a second longer I'd die anyway. Or at least that's how I was feeling. Flashes came across my eyes as soon as I closed them. Alexa growing older. Bella having the twins. Masen growing up and having a family of his own. In the entire picture there was no me. Only a very upset Bella. A broken Bella. I realized that's what would happened if I died. I started praying to the God I wasn't sure I even believed in that I would make it through this so my family wouldn't have to go on without me. Bella would never be able to handle losing me. This would literally kill her.

So, I vowed to myself right then and there that I would live through this. Even if I couldn't stay awake any longer I was going to fight this.

That was my last coherent thought. Then the complete blackness took over.

* * *

I came to when I was in ambulance. They hadn't expected me to wake up but they were calmly telling me I was alright. I tried to shake my head but I realized that I had a brace on in case I had broken my neck. Oh God, I hope I didn't.

Wait, where's Emmett? Is he alright? Is he hurt. I wanted to ask but I couldn't speak. I was breathing heavy. Then I realized I couldn't feel my legs. No pain, no anything. I tried wiggling my toes but I didn't even feel the sensation from that.

What was happening? My legs were just numb, right? I couldn't lose them. There's no way. I've got a family. I've got children to raise, I can't lose my legs. I decided to just calm down and deal with that later. The EMT's started going on about a punctured lung and apparently my spleen needed to be removed. I also had a few broken ribs.

I quickly lost consciousness then.

* * *

I didn't wake up again until after my surgery. The doctor decided then was the right time to explain to me my condition. I was paralyzed from the waist down and it was completely possibly that I'd never be able to walk again. He explained everything to me. He told me that the car had hit directly on my side causing my legs to get trapped under the dashboard that had caved in from the impact.

He waited until the end to tell me Emmett was alright and would be able to walk away with hardly any injury. I felt jealous then. I knew this wasn't his fault but…why me? Is this all pay back for what I've done to Bella?

How can she love me now that I won't be able to use my legs? Heck, there's a possibility sex isn't even possible again. But that's the last thing on my mind. Right now I'm trying to focus on how to tell Bella everything. I decide it's best if the doctor handles that because I can't really speak right now anyways. He agrees and sets out to talk to my beautiful Bella.

I shut my eyes for a second. I didn't see or hear her enter the room, but I felt her. I could smell her, too. When I opened my eyes she was turning to leave.

She was apologizing for something that wasn't her fault. She was crying and I wanted to comfort her so terribly but with a cast on my left arm and my ribs all taped out I could barely move.

I told her I loved her. I did love her, but now I was thinking that I wasn't good enough anymore.

What if the doctor was right? What if I never got my legs back? How could I help Bella raise our kids? I'd forever be the dad stuck in a wheelchair. Everyone would pity me and my kids probably wouldn't even like me anymore.

I wanted to tell Bella so much. I wanted her to know so many things but I couldn't speak. Considering my lungs weren't doing too good.

Then she told me she'd always love me despite the fact that I was paralyzed. I started crying then. I felt like I was losing everything.

How could this be fucking happening? My family deserved better then this!

* * *

Alice had come into the room an hour later to drag Bella home. She had promised to be back later with Alexa. I nodded knowing I wanted to see my daughter so terribly. After Bella had been removed from the room Masen stepped in. He was looking at the floor as he shuffled towards my bed. He sat down in the chair and finally looked up at me. I tried to give him a half smile but with the gash in my cheek and the bruises on my face it was kind of difficult.

"You alright?" He asked after a little bit of silence. I just took a deep breath and decided to tell my son the truth. Or I at least shook my head. "Aunt Alice told me about your legs." He nodded towards my legs. I coughed a little. "Are you…I mean…will you be able to walk again?" He asked worriedly. In that moment I saw that he looked so much like Bella. The way he held himself, The way he spoke and his facial expressions.

"I don't know." I was able to rasp out. Masen just nodded and then turned his attention back to the floor. I wished I could assure him that everything would be alright but that's not something I know for sure.

"I told her I blamed her for this." He didn't look at me but I turned my head slightly giving him a confused look.

"Who?"

"Mom." He spoke sadly. I widened my eyes. This wasn't Bella's fault. He shouldn't blame her. "I was just upset and I felt like I needed to place blame and she was the first person I thought of." He tells me. I just nod. "I'm scared, Edward. Our family needs you more then I thought we did before. We're not whole without you."

"I'm not going anywhere." I spoke as clearly as possible. I'd never leave my family, I was too selfish for that. I loved them far too much to let them all go.

"That's good." He nodded. "I just…I wanted to apologize for the way I acted after Michael died…I don't know what was going on with me then. But right now I feel like slipping right back into that person." He told me honestly. I wished I could say more then just a few words. I wanted to tell him so many things in that moment. But I couldn't, and that was killing me.

A nurse came in soon after to take my vitals. Masen had just sat there quietly watching with interested eyes. I wondered if he ever thought of working in the medical field. Then again he would beat himself up if he ever lost a life.

Masen left a little bit later to go talk to Bella and apologize.

* * *

An hour later a banged up Emmett walked into my room. His eyes were downcast and he had a frown on his face.

"Edward, I'm so sorry!" He quickly looked up. I just shook my head. This wasn't his fault. The car had hit us. Not the other way around. "It's all my fault that you're in this bed, Edward. I shouldn't have…"

"Stop." I croaked out. I didn't want this. I didn't want anyone to blame themselves for this. It was no one's fault.

"You…Edward, you shouldn't be here. You should be with your family." He sat down on the chair next to the bed that everyone else had seemed to do when they came to talk to me.

Today had been a stressful day and I wanted to do was sleep. I just wanted everyone to stop talking and let me rest. Just for a little bit. That's all I needed.

Emmett spent the rest of his visit just apologizing. I didn't want to hear it. It wasn't his fault. I wished I could just tell everyone to stop feeling sorry.

Visiting hours were over which meant Emmett had to go. I was thankful, I couldn't take any more of his apologizing.

The doctor came in one last time after Emmett left.

"Mr. Cullen, how are you feeling?" He looked through my file. I just shrugged. I wasn't sure how I was feeling. With the pain killers running through my body constantly I barely felt anything. "Let's see here…" He flipped through the file a couple more times before looking at me. "We'll need to keep you here at least another week, we'll see how you do after that but I must say Mr. Cullen you are already healing wonderfully." I wasn't sure how that was possible. Seeing as the wreck was just this morning.

"I'll be by tomorrow to talk about your legs some more." I didn't want to wait. I wished he would just tell me now. I just wanted to get that part over with.

"Will I be able to walk again or not?" I was able to get out.

"Right now, there's no telling." He sighed.

"But there is a possibility, right?"

"We'll have to see, Mr. Cullen." He tried to give me a smile. The way he spoke to me pushed away all hope I'd get to walk again. I felt sick to my stomach quickly after.

After the doctor left me I shut my eyes hoping I could block everything out. I just wanted to forget that I was basically going to be an invalid the rest of my life. I'd never be able to run around with my kids again. When Bella and I got married I'd be sitting in a wheel chair as she walked down the aisle. I wouldn't be able to walk Alexa down the aisle at her wedding. God, how was I going to deal with this?

* * *

I woke up in a cold sweat. I was panting and felt like I needed to throw up. My ribs were killing me as I pressed the button for the nurse to give me some more pain medicine.

I leaned back and took a deep breath.

That had been the worst dream I'd ever had. It was of Bella walking down the aisle towards Jacob. It was of Jacob raising my kids. All because I couldn't walk anymore. Bella didn't need me after that. I wasn't going to have this.

I'll be damned if Jacob Black becomes Bella's husband or the father to my children. Fuck no.

I'd do anything I could possibly can to keep my family. I'd get my legs back and fight. I'd fight for my family before I let them go.


	37. Chapter 37

You know the drill, Minichapter if you review. :) Also I put a tiny sneak peak of Ch. 38 at the end of this chapter. I love you guys btw. All of your reviews are amazing.

Chapter 37

I looked out the window at the scenery passed us by on the way to my house. Alice had just pulled me away from Edward's side to make sure I got a shower and ate something. I could have cared less if I showered or ate. Then again I did have my babies to think about still. That was the only way Alice or Edward could get me to leave. I promised I'd be back later with Alexa but as I let my head rest against the window I decided I couldn't see him again today. I couldn't physically or mentally handle it again. I felt weak and sick. I was in a constant state of dizzy but kept my mouth shut. I wasn't going to freak Alice out for nothing. I knew I was probably just over-stressed.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice broke the silence in the car. I didn't answer her but inside my head I was screaming at her. How could she ask me something like that? Of course I'm not okay! Edward's suffering because of my stupidity. "It's not your fault." She said as if she was reading my thoughts.

"I don't want to talk about it." I croaked out and wiped away at the lone tear that ran down my cheek.

"It would be good for you."

"I don't care, Alice. Just shut up." I snapped. I shut my eyes quickly wondering why I had just snapped at my best friend. This wasn't her fault. She was just trying to help me. "Oh Alice, I'm so sorry!" I opened my eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. You've had a long day." She said giving me a sad smile. I just nod and turn my attention back towards the window.

Alice pulls up in my driveway but I can't seem to make myself move. I just want to sit there. I hear Alice talking to someone outside of the car but I'm not really paying attention. I don't even look up when the door opens. I can feel someone picking me up bridal style.

"Mom, I'm sorry." Masen whispered. He had been the one to pick me up and bring me into the house. My son gently laid me on the bed and pulled back the covers. "It's not your fault, none of it is." He says quietly. I just nod keeping my eyes closed the entire time. I'm not sure why I've kept them closed but I just can't seem to make myself open them. "Want something to eat?" I just shook my head.

"Bella, sit up. You are going to eat even if I have to shove this food down your throat." Alice threatened. I just sighed and let my eyes open. Masen looked as if he had been crying and Alice was standing in my doorway with a trey in her arms. I sit up and Alice places the trey on my lap. I start to pick at my grilled cheese sandwich. I just don't feel like eating but I pop a piece in my mouth hoping to satisfy the two people glaring me down right now. "You're going to finish your dinner then go take a shower. I'm taking the kids to my place, Charlie's staying here with you. Phil's going back to his hotel room and he's leaving for Jacksonville in the morning." Alice tells me. I just nod trying my hardest to listen.

"I love you, Ma." Masen leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I give him a sad smile before he leaves Alice and I alone.

"I'm going to keep them overnight if that's alright?" Alice asks sitting down on the bed next to me.

"Of course. I think I'm going to get up in the morning and go sit with Edward." I tell her. I knew I needed to go back and talk to him. I just wasn't sure if I could handle it again.

"Just swing by and pick them up after you leave the hospital?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Take care of yourself, Bella. Those babies are innocent in all of these. They need you to keep up your strength. If you can't do it for yourself do it for them." She pats my knee before standing up and leaving my room.

I push the trey to the side and climb out of bed. She's right, but when is Alice ever wrong? I walk into the bathroom and hop into the shower.

I'm not sure why but my entire body feels dirty. I start scrubbing roughly as my skin turns a bright red. I didn't care, I just wanted to get clean and if that's what it took then I'd scrub until my skin was coming off.

I still didn't feel clean when I stepped out of the shower but my body just couldn't handle anymore.

I climbed into my bed and pulled Edward's pillow close to me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Sleep overtook me quickly.

* * *

I bit down on my lower as I stood outside Edward's hospital room.

I had dragged my tired body out of bed two hours before. Charlie had offered to make me eggs and toast. I really tried to eat his food. Needless to say I ended up throwing those away and making my own.

Placing my hand on my full stomach I reached my other hand towards the door handle. I opened the door slowly. I peaked past it to see Edward's eyes closed. His face looked just as bad as it had yesterday but I knew I shouldn't have expected him to get much better in only a day.

"Bella?" He croaked out. He didn't look at me but kept his green eyes on the white ceiling.

"Hey." I breathed out walking slowly towards his bedside. "How are you feeling, baby?" I asked once I reached him. I reached my hand out to smooth back his unruly hair.

"Just as shitty as I look." He said with no emotion. I just nodded and sat down in the chair. "I thought you were coming back last night with Lex?" I realized that he was talking much better then yesterday.

"I wasn't feeling too well once I got home." I told him truthfully. I took my hand away from his hair and laid it on his hand. I squeezed it lightly.

"Have you eaten? Did you pass out again? Are you okay?" He finally looked at me with worry in his eyes. I sighed getting a closer look at his face. Instead of answering him I leaned over and kissed his lips. I loved him so much. Even though he was the one laying in the hospital bed possibly paralyzed he was still thinking about my health.

"I'm fine. I'm just worried about you." I whisper. Edward nods. I half expected him to turn his head back towards the ceiling but instead he held my gaze.

We sat there for the next five minutes in complete silence just looking at each other. It felt nice to be able to look into those beautiful eyes again.

"I'm going to walk again, Bella. I promise you I will." He broke the silence. I just nodded finally letting the tears I had been holding run down my cheeks. "And even if I don't I'll do my best to be enough for you and our kids. Please don't give up on me."

"Never." I shook my head leaning closer to him. He had to be insane to think that I'd give up on him.

* * *

"Mama!" Alexa cried when I walked in the front door of Alice's house half an hour after leaving the hospital. I had spent three hours just sitting there talking to Edward.

"Hey baby girl." I laughed leaning down and picking her up. I winced when I felt a sharp pain go through my back. I just shook my head and decided to ignore it.

Alice walked into the foyer where Alexa and I were.

"How is he?" She asked me.

"He's…going to make it." I tell her. Alice just nods leaving it at that.

"Thanks for watching her, Alice. I really appreciate it." I say to her. Alice smiles and tells me it was a pleasure watching Lex. I kissed the little girls rosy cheek happy that she was good for Alice. The three of us walked into the living room where Masen was spread out on the couch reading a book. He put his book down and gave me a smile.

"How's dad?" My heart flipped when he said that. I wasn't sure if he noticed it. Judging by the look on his face I suspected that it just came naturally to him.

"He's fine right now, but he really wants to see his kids so how about I take you two to see him." I smiled at him then Alexa. I knew she didn't understand any of this. I just hoped she wouldn't freak out when she saw Edward laying there in the bed all banged up.

We said our goodbyes to Alice before getting into my truck and driving towards the hospital. Alexa sat in the back dancing along to the music that was playing on the radio. I couldn't help but smile at her. I heard Masen chuckle beside me. I glanced over at him and saw that he was turned around in his seat slightly.

I loved those two kids with all of my heart. They were what was keeping me sane through all of this. They were the reasons I was smiling right now, and that was saying a lot. I felt like I'd never smile or be happy again but those two…they just put so much joy in my life and heart that it was difficult to not smile or laugh around them.

* * *

Sneak Peak of Ch. 38

"It's Daddy, Lex." I whispered in her ear. She turned her head towards me then and gave me a strange look. I wished I knew what was going on in that tiny head of hers right now.

"Dada?" She finally spoke with a broken voice. She looked as if she were about to cry. I looked over at Edward. He sighed and I knew he wished he could hold her and assure her that everything was alright. He didn't want her to be scared of him.

Masen stepped up and took Alexa from me. He walked closer to Edward and sat down on the sliver of the bed Edward wasn't occupying. Masen whispered something into Alexa's ear. Alexa reached her tiny hand out to touch Edwards.


	38. Author's Note

AN- I'm terribly sorry for not posting a chapter lately. I've had writer's block and then on top of that I've got a terrible ear infection and a sore throat.

BUT I plan on posting the new chapter by this weekend. I've got it halfway done but after that I'm pretty much stuck.

I'm not sure if you some of you know but the minichapters now have their own story page. Be sure to check out the extra's. There are two new ones that had not been sent out to anyone yet.

Once again I'd like to say I'm sorry and I feel terrible for not having a new chapter out.

Please forgive me?

-Sunshine


	39. Chapter 38

Be sure you check out the Into Your Arms extra's page since the minichapters will not be sent to you via review reply anymore. :) I still hope you guys will review!

Chapter 38

Alexa watched her father like he had grown two heads. She kept frowning and then furrowing her brow. I couldn't help but laugh at her little facial expressions. I knew it was killing Edward, though. He didn't want his baby girl to not remember him.

"It's Daddy, Lex." I whispered in her ear. She turned her head towards me then and gave me a strange look. I wished I knew what was going on in that tiny head of hers right now.

"Dada?" She finally spoke with a broken voice. She looked as if she were about to cry. I looked over at Edward. He sighed and I knew he wished he could hold her and assure her that everything was alright. He didn't want her to be scared of him.

Masen stepped up and took Alexa from me. He walked closer to Edward and sat down on the sliver of the bed Edward wasn't occupying. Masen whispered something into Alexa's ear. Alexa reached her tiny hand out to touch Edwards.

"Dada?" She looked hopeful. Edward nodded wrapping his large hand around her tiny one. "Ouchie?" She pointed towards the white bandage on his cheek that covered a large gash. Edward let out a shaky laugh.

"Yeah, baby, Daddy's got an ouchie." He answered her. Alexa tried to get closer to Edward but Masen kept her back to avoid her hurting Edward's ribs. Alexa then turned her attention towards the needles in Edward's arm. She reached for one but I quickly reached out and pulled her grubby little hand away.

"No, sweetie." I sighed. Masen stood up with Alexa and announced they were going to get a soda. I nodded and watched the kids leave us in the room alone.

"She's scared of me." His voice broke. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I sat down on the bed where Masen had occupied moments before. "I fucking scare my own daughter!" He half growled. "What's she going to think when I come home in a fucking wheelchair, Bella? She's going to be scared to death!" I wanted to reassure him that everything would be okay but I just couldn't open my mouth and speak. It just wasn't happening.

I sat there just watching him as he sat there staring straight ahead of him. We didn't say a word to each other the entire time. I suddenly felt like any progress we had made earlier had now crashed down around us.

"I love you with all of my heart, Edward but I refuse to sit here and listen to you feel sorry for yourself." I tell him truthfully. "Lex loves you no matter what, so stop worrying. I promise you everything will be just fine." I'm pretty sure I was trying to convince myself of the same thing.

"You have no idea what I'm going through." He snapped not looking at me. I just sighed and shook my head.

"Do you think I'm not hurting as much as you are right now?" I tried to keep my voice even. "The father of my fucking children is laying in a bed after almost dying yesterday. The man I'm in love with just might never be able to walk again. So, don't you dare tell me I have no idea what you're going through because believe me Edward, I do." My voice raised but overall it was steady. I couldn't let it waver. I had to be strong right now.

Edward was just about to say something when he looked past me. I turned around and standing in the doorway was Jacob Black. I wasn't sure what was about to happen right now but I had a very bad feeling about him being here.

"What are you doing here?" I didn't mean to make my voice sound so hostile.

"Uh, Charlie told me what happened." He stuttered slipping his hands into his pockets. "But I can see this is a bad time so I'll go…" He went to turn around but Masen stood behind him and stopped him from leaving.

"You don't have to go, Jake." I said against my better judgment.

"She's right, stay. Bella, can I talk to Jacob alone?" Edward shocked me. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to leave them alone or not. I looked over at Masen and he just shrugged. I then looked at Jacob who wore the same look of shock that I did.

"Uh, yeah sure. It's time for Alexa's nap anyway." I said a little nervously. "I'll be by later." I leaned over and kissed Edward's cheek lightly. He gave me a half smile before I left the room.

"Mom?" Masen looked over at me while we walked towards the exit. I glanced over at him. "Was that such a good idea?" He asked biting down on his lower lip. "From what I heard they don't exactly get along."

"I don't know, Mase. I can only hope they both come out alive." I tried to joke but in the end it was a serious statement.

* * *

EPOV

I was shocked to see Jacob Black come into my room. It was definitely something that was unexpected. Asking Jacob to stay hadn't even been my plan. I could tell by the look on Bella's face that she was worried about leaving us alone together.

I just had some things to say to him that I felt Bella didn't need to hear. Even though I knew she'd come back later and demand me tell her what happened.

"So, what's going on?" Jacob sat down in the chair next to the bed. I looked over at him and frowned. I had seen the way he looked at Bella when he walked into the room. I saw how he licked his lips and checked her out.

"She's mine, Jacob. I don't give a fuck if I can walk or not but over my dead body will you take her from me." I growled out. Jacob chuckled.

"What good are you now, Edward? You won't be able to run around with your kids, you won't even be able to help Bella out. I can." He leaned forward. This had to be some joke.

"She doesn't want you." I say lowering my voice but keeping as much venom in it was possible. "She's never wanted you."

"Is that so?" He raised an eyebrow at me then leaned back in the chair smirking. I wished I could stand up right then and beat the shit out of him. I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. "We'll see." He shook his head.

There was no way in hell he'd get my Bella. There was no way my nightmare would come true. I wouldn't allow that. Bella loved me, not Jacob. She could be with him right now if she really wanted to. She could already be married to him, but she's not. She waited for me and I know for a fact that she wants me.

"Don't mess with my family, Jake." I growl at him.

"What are you going to do about it, Edward?"

"Jacob, don't…" I started to yell but heard a sob come from the doorway. I looked up to see Bella standing there. My heart broke seeing her like that. I wanted to rush to her and pull her into my arms. I needed to hold her. "Bella…" I whispered but Bella just shook her head at me and turned her attention towards Jacob. My heart fell right then because I had no clue what she was going to do next.

* * *

BPOV

I got as far as the exit doors of the hospital before I turned back around and ran back to Edward's room. I just had this terrible feeling about leaving them alone. I just couldn't walk away like that.

I could hear their raised voices from down the hall. I wondered why none of the staff had gone to quiet them down. I could hear Edward tell Jacob not to mess with his family. Then I heard Jacob ask what he'd do about it. I got to the door when Edward was about to say something else. I couldn't hold back a sob when I saw the look on Edward's face. I had never seen him look that angry.

"Bella…" He whispered but I shook my head at him. I had a few words to say to Jacob before I calmed Edward down.

"Outside, now!" I pointed towards the door getting angrier with Jacob by the second. He had no right to come in here and treat Edward like this. I stalked out of the room knowing Jacob was following me. I turned towards him before shutting Edward's door.

"Bella, baby. Don't look like you're mad at me. You know as well as I do that we belong together. I can…" He started. My eyes widened with disgust. There was no way in hell he believed that I wanted to be with him. I didn't, that was the last thing I wanted right now.

"You need to leave before I hurt you, Jacob." I shut my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. "Stay away from Edward, stay away from me and stay away from my children."

"You'll change your mind, Bells. In due time you'll realize you need me." He smirked before walking off. It took everything in me to not start a scene out here. I had so many things that I wanted to say to him but I couldn't if I didn't want to be kicked out of the hospital.

I turned back around and walked back into Edward's room. He had his eyes shut not looking as angry as before.

"I can't lose you, Bella. Please don't leave me." He whispered in the silence of the room. I quickly rushed to him and climbed on the bed carefully. "I love you, I'm so sorry that I'm like this but please Bella promise me you won't leave me." He was begging now.

"I promise you a million times over that I will not leave you, Edward. I love you far too much to leave you. You're everything to me, believe that." I peppered kisses across his face. I had to show him that I meant exactly what I was saying.

"Even if I never walk again?" He finally opened his eyes.

"Yes. Edward, please believe me when I say that I will love you no matter what." I stopped kissing him and put my hand on his cheek making sure I was looking directly into his eyes as I spoke. "You're the only man I will ever love. You're it, Edward Cullen."

"I know this isn't exactly the right place to be asking you but…" My breath caught in my throat as I saw him reach over to the nightstand next to the bed with his good arm. "Will you marry me, Isabella Marie Swan?" He held the ring in front of my face. I just nodded. I couldn't speak but I didn't have to.

"Finally!" I was caught by surprise by the voice coming from the door of the room. Masen was standing there holding Alexa with a wide smile on his face. "I thought he'd never ask you again." He laughed.

"I was just waiting for the right moment." Edward shrugged before slipping the ring on my finger. I knew this ring. He had shown it to me when we were younger. It's the ring his father gave his mother. It fit perfectly on my finger and I couldn't help but lean in and kiss Edward passionately. I heard Masen groan. I laughed and pulled away. Alexa was passed out with her head on Masen's shoulder. "I love my family." Edward whispered.

"Me too."


	40. Chapter 39

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE EXTRA'S PAGE!

Chapter 39

I let my hand fall down to my now eighteen week belly. I already feel like a whale but Edward refuses to believe that. I glance behind me to find Edward buttoning up his shirt. He looks even more depressed then he did the day I bought him home from the hospital. That was two weeks ago. The doctor's still weren't sure if he'd ever walk again. They had given us hope by telling us that with possible surgery's and intense physical therapy he might be able to walk again. That hadn't been good enough for him. Nothing I said or did seemed to pull him out of his funk.

I wanted the old Edward back. I wanted the Edward who would pull me into him and kiss me just because he felt like it. I miss the Edward who would rock our little girl to sleep. I wanted that Edward back. Not this empty shell of a man I was looking at.

I was really starting to get annoyed with all of his self pity. The past few nights had ended up with me yelling at him. He would just nod. He never fought back. I just wanted him to yell back at me. I needed it because if he said something back then there was hope after all that I'd get him back.

I twirled my engagement ring around my finger after I turned back towards the bathroom mirror. I glanced up and found that I didn't look much better then he did. All of this was really stressing me out. I would usually end up dizzy after eating, then I'd throw everything up. I kept this from Edward because I knew he didn't need to worry about me right now. We had to focus on him plus I'm sure it's nothing. Having two babies inside of me feels so much different then just having one.

"We should get going." I spoke out through the intense silence of the room. Today was Charlie and Sue's wedding day and I wanted to get to Charlie's as soon as possible. The wedding would be in their small backyard. Alice and Rose had taken over the arrangements for the small reception. It would be inside the house since there was only a handful of people attending. That's the way Charlie wanted it. He hated people fussing over him as much as I did.

"Give me a few minutes." He said without any emotion. I turned around fully to look at him. It was an awful sight to see. Seeing him in that wheelchair got to me every time. I felt the overwhelming need to break down and cry.

"Fine, I'm going to check on Lex." I stated before leaving the room. I walked towards my girl's room finding Lane trying her hardest to get Alexa in her dress. I chuckled watching Alexa shake the tiny head in a no motion.

I walked towards Lane and told her I'd handle getting Alexa dressed. She looked relieved saying she needed to make sure Masen wasn't wearing his converse. I just laughed telling her good luck with that.

"Come on, Lex. Let's get dressed so we can go to a party!" I held the adorable dress up. Alice had been the one to pick it out. She ran to me and let me dress her. I was happy that I didn't have as much trouble as Lane had.

After dressing Lane I took a brush to her insane curls. She wasn't too happy about having to sit still. I finally finished and took her downstairs. I handed her over to Masen as I walked back towards the bathroom Edward and I had been using before. Edward moved downstairs after coming back from the hospital. It was just easier for him to get around that way.

Edward was throwing things around the bathroom when I walked in. I yelped when a hairbrush flew past my head. This was ridiculous. His stupid tantrums were really starting to piss me off.

"Go without me!" Edward yelled making me want to start throwing things at him. He had no reason to talk to me like that, I had done nothing wrong.

"Why did you take off your shirt?" I demanded. I realized the buttons had been torn off the front of the shirt. "What happened?"

"Nothing." He tells me.

"Nothing? So you just throw things and tear up your clothes for no reason?"

"Exactly."

"I'll get you another shirt but you are going to this wedding if I have to drag you there myself." I fold my arms across my chest. Edward ran his hand though his hair sighing.

"I'm not going, Bella." It's the first time he's spoken my name in so long. I sigh and walk over to him. I start to take off his shirt with no help from him. I got the shirt fully off before going to get another one. I slipped that one on and buttoned it up for him. "You're doing this for nothing."

"Please, Edward. Do this for me. I want you to be there, please." I was begging now. Edward looked defeated when our eyes fully met. I knew that my pleas hadn't done much but make him feel worse. He wasn't going but I was. I'd put on a smile and pretend everything was just fine. I'd tell my family that Edward wasn't feeling well. I'd lie to them so they wouldn't worry about me.

I walked into the living room leaving Edward behind.

"Where's Dad?" Masen asked grabbing Lane's hand.

"He's not coming, he's really not feeling well." I say grabbing Alexa's diaper bag off of the kitchen table. Lane carried Alexa out to the car on her hip. I glanced at Masen. He knew that I was lying. I just shook my head in a way to tell him not to bring it up again.

* * *

The wedding was beautiful. I had never seen Charlie look so nervous in all my life. Sue was beaming. She was truly happy marrying my father. I couldn't blame her, Charlie was a good guy. They both deserved this happiness.

"Would you like to tell me where Edward really is?" Charlie asked after the wedding. I shook my head no but that didn't seem good enough for him.

"He's sulking in the bathroom. I don't understand, Dad. He's alive and he has us. Why does the rest matter?" I was starting to cry again. "I don't know if I can do this much longer." I whisper.

Charlie pulled me into a hug making sure not to squish the babies. Charlie just held me there not saying a word. He didn't need to.

I finally pulled away from him wiping at my eyes.

"You should get to your party. I'm really happy for you, Dad." I give him as much a smile as I can muster. "I love you." I kiss his cheek.

"I love you, too." He kisses my forehead before walking back towards the front of the house. I wander off towards the backyard and to the tree that Edward and I had carved our names in eighteen years ago. I traced the letters.

_E + B = Always._

It was our sixth month anniversary. I woke up that morning to find Edward outside carving it into the tree. I had run out of my room still dressed for bed. I hopped on his back making him tumble forward. Thankfully he had finished and the knife was safely secured in his pocket.

"I loved you as much then as I do now." I jumped hearing his voice behind me. I quickly turned around to find Edward there. I smiled and walked towards him. I hadn't expected this. "Always, Bella." He whispered reaching out and taking my hand.

"Always." I repeated. He smiled and for the first time in awhile it actually reached his eyes.

"I've decided to get the surgery. I'll do physical therapy, too." He says. I nod happily. "I haven't been good enough for you since I got home and I'm sorry for that. Bella, I'm trying so hard. I just hate myself right now which is making me act like this towards the five people I love more then anything." I looked at him confused. He chuckled and pointed towards my belly.

Just as I was about to saying something to him I felt a kick. I gasped and grabbed Edward's hand. He looked up at me as he realized what was happening. I let the tears fall. It was the first time I felt such a hard kick. Usually I just felt light flutters but this was completely different.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered towards my stomach. "Daddy is going to change, I promise."

"They forgive you." I laugh.

"Does that mean you forgive me, too?" He looked up at me. I just nod. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

"How about we head back inside, it's a little chilly out here. Wouldn't want my girls to get sick." I look at Edward strangely. Girls?

"They are both girls." He tells me.

"You know this for a fact?" I raise my eyebrow at him. "What if they are boys?"

"They aren't." He shrugs.

_

* * *

_

"We haven't gotten to talk much." Alice comes over to my house after the wedding. She's right. We really haven't since Edward got into the wreck.

"I'm sorry." I say. There's no excuse for it. She's my best friend. I shouldn't even go a day without speaking to her.

"It's fine, Bella. I know this is hard for you." She says. "I wanted to show you something, though." She started to squirm. I laugh as she pulls something out of her purse. She hands it over to me and I realize it's a sonogram.

"You're having a boy?" I grinned at her.

"Cason Andrew Hale. I can't believe it." She squealed. I couldn't believe it either. I always pictured Alice with a girl. "Jasper is so proud. He can't wait until Cason is born."

Alice and I sit there for an hour just discussing everything that has happened in the past few weeks. We talked about Edward and how Jasper got a promotion at work. She told me that Cason's room was pretty much already decorated. She had gone out the same day that she found out what she was having.

After Alice left I gave Alexa a bath. She splashed around the entire time. She looked so excited to have bubbles surrounding her. She was having so much fun that she screamed when I pulled her out. Edward had wheeled into the bathroom. I wrapped a towel around her and handed her over to him.

I smiled seeing him actually play with her for the first time since he came home. I hoped that he would stay like this. I couldn't handle him being depressed again. That was just too much for me right now.

Masen put Alexa in bed that night. Then he helped Edward get into the twin bed that was in the living room. After Masen went upstairs to bed I crawled into the small bed with Edward. There wasn't much room considering I was pregnant.

"Are you sure you're comfortable enough?" He asks.

"I'm sure." I settled my head on his chest. "I just want to sleep with you, Edward. It's been so long." I whisper.

"Only if you're sure." He kissed the top of my head. I felt complete when I fell asleep. I couldn't think of a place I would rather be then in Edward's arms. Even if it meant we were cramped together in a twin bed.


	41. Chapter 40

I can't believe i'm already at Chapter 40. :) I posted a new minichapter today. Be sure to check that out in the Extra's. Review? :) I love you guys insanely.

Chapter 40

My back hurt, my bladder was full and my stomach was growling but none of that mattered. What mattered was that I was laying in bed with Edward. He was the only thing I cared about right now. I rubbed my hand up and down his bare chest. I felt him shudder as he woke up.

"Hey." I smiled resting my chin on his chest.

"Good Morning." He grinned. He looked truly happy. "I forgot how amazing it is to wake up to your smile every morning."

"I want to marry you as soon as possible." I just came out and said it. I had woken up in the middle of the night thinking about it as I watched Edward peacefully sleep. I spent the next few hours dreaming about our wedding and the rest of our lives together. Strangely enough the twins in my dreams were both girls.

"Bella…" He reached up and touched his hand to my cheek.

"You still want to marry me, right?" I asked feeling a little dejected.

"Of course I do, love." He sighed. "But, I think we should wait until after the twins are born. I'll have had the surgery by then and I want to be face to face with you when I marry you. I don't you to have to look down on me." He says. "Then there's the matter of the honeymoon…"

"You know that doesn't matter to me, Edward." I sat up a little. I felt the pain even more now. I clutched at my back trying to hold back the discomfort on my face.

"It might not matter to you, Bella but it matters a lot to me." He frowns a little before reaching out and placing a hand on my back. He starts massaging my lower back. It feels so amazing having his hands on me like that. "I just want everything to be perfect for you." He says still kneading at my back. I just moan without answering him back. We'd talk about this later. Right now I just wanted to feel his hands touch me.

Suddenly I felt my bladder become heavier. I jumped up quickly causing Edward to be confused.

"Bella, what's going on?" I heard him yell as I ran to the bathroom as fast as I possibly could.

I felt relieved once I exited the bathroom. When I reached the living room Edward was lifting himself off his bed and into his wheelchair. I wished I could help him. I hated watching him struggle with this. I knew I could get Masen to help but it was Sunday and I felt he should sleep in before Alexa woke up.

"Are you still getting sick?" He asked once he was situated in the chair.

"I just had to pee." I say not wanting to answer his question. I knew if I did answer I had to tell him the truth. I couldn't lie about my dizzy spells or how much I worshipped the toilet after almost every meal.

"Oh, alright." He nodded. I walked over to him and sat down on his lap. I wasn't sure if it would hurt him but he didn't seem to mind as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I kissed his lips lightly. Then our kiss deepened. I pulled away before I got too carried away with it. Edward groaned but I had a feeling it wasn't from us pulling away. He was looking down at his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I whispered in his ear that it didn't matter. I would love him even if we never made love again. There were other ways to show how much we loved each other.

Masen came down the stairs soon after with Alexa in his arms. He looked extremely tired as he sat her down in front of the TV. He didn't say a word to us as he flipped on cartoons for Alexa. He shuffled into the kitchen flipping on the light. I chuckled looking back at Edward.

"Let's feed my girls." Edward grinned. I hopped off his lap. I walked over and picked up Alexa. She didn't look too happy that I interrupted her cartoons. Edward wouldn't let me carry her all the way to the kitchen so I sat her on his lap. She squealed happily telling him to go faster.

Masen was stirring his coffee when we got to the kitchen. He looked even more tired then he did when he walked into the living room.

He sat down at the table still not looking up at us.

"Long night?" I quirked an eyebrow at him taking Alexa from Edward and sitting her in her highchair.

"I couldn't sleep last night." My son shrugged. I wanted to ask more but I felt Edward's hand on my arm. I looked down at him. He just shook his head. Did he know something I didn't?

"How about cereal?" Edward looked at Alexa. She wasn't paying much attention to him since Masen had given her a milk bottle.

"Cereal sounds good." I walked slowly towards the pantry. My back only seemed to feel worse by the second. I didn't complain though. I wouldn't have wanted to sleep anywhere else last night.

I handed everyone a bowl of cereal before sitting down next to Alexa's highchair. I tried feeding her but she wouldn't have it. She wanted to dig into the bowl herself.

Needless to say I had a huge mess to clean up after she was finished. I made Edward go take a shower while I cleaned up. Masen groaned asking if he had to help this time. I knew he was thinking about the many times he's had to help Edward get in the shower since he got home.

"I can handle it this time." Edward laughed. We had installed a rail and chair in the shower for better access. Now it was much easier for Edward to shower. Although I couldn't help but thinking about how much I'd like to wash him myself.

Once the kitchen was all cleaned up and Alexa was back to watching her cartoons I went towards the bathroom. Edward was getting out of the shower when I walked in. I groaned and stuck out my bottom lip in a pout.

"I was hoping I could help you get clean." My stupid pregnancy hormones were really starting to get the best of me. I wanted nothing more then to jump him right now. I wanted to make love to him over and over again until I couldn't see. Edward laughed at me noticing that I was raking my eyes over his beautiful body.

"Can you hand me my clothes?" He pointed towards the sink. I had to pull myself out of my fantasy.

"Here." I thrust the clothes at him. "I should…go before…" I couldn't breathe watching him try to pull on his boxers. I bit my lip before stalking forward and taking the boxers from him. I knelt down and pulled them up his legs. I had to shut my eyes when I reached the top.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He put his hand in my hair. That just made it even worse.

"No, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's just these hormones." I tell him grabbing his pants and pulling them up his legs much like I did his boxers.

"I should be able to satisfy your hormones." He said defeated. "I'm not a man anymore." He said so low that I figured he didn't want me to hear. I snapped my eyes up and glared at him. I got up from the floor.

"Don't you ever say that again, Edward. You are more of a man then most guys out there. Just because…doesn't mean you aren't a man." I was fuming. I never wanted to hear him say that again. He was a man, sex or being able to walk did not make someone a man.

"I can't make love to you anymore, Bella. Do you realize that you could possibly go the rest of your life without it? Even if the surgery works it's possible I still won't be able to get hard."

"There are so many other ways you can show me your love." I stepped as close to him as possible. I placed a hand on both of his cheeks. I leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips before pulling away but keeping my hands in place. "After all you can still use your fingers and that amazing mouth of yours." I giggled pulling away from him fully before leaving him alone in the bathroom.

I realized after leaving the bathroom that I didn't throw up after eating. I didn't even feel the slightest bit dizzy.

"Aunt Rose called." Masen tells me from his spot on the couch. He's watching cartoons with Alexa just as intently as she is. "Oh yeah, Mom."

"Hmm?"

"Can I go over to Grandpa's?" Masen asked looking more awake then before. I wasn't so sure about that. Seth would have the house to himself for the next week since Charlie and Sue were on their honeymoon. "I promise there won't be any parties. Grandpa already gave us the third degree on that." Masen rolled his eyes. I just laughed knowing they would listen to Charlie. After all he is the chief of police. He's already made it clear to them that just because he's the chief and they are family doesn't mean he won't arrest them or treat them just like every other person in town.

"I guess. Just promise me no drinking and no girls."

"No drinking and no girls." He laughed. "I promise."

"Good, now go. I can't stand looking at your face any longer." I joked with a wave of my hand. Masen chuckled before heading out the door.

"Lexie-bug, promise Mommy that you won't ever grow up." I smiled getting on the floor with her. She crawled into my lap pressing her hand on my stomach.

"Baby?" She looked up at me smiling. I had been spending the last few weeks telling her about the babies. I knew she wasn't even two yet but I wanted her to know she was going to be a big sister.

"There are two babies in there." I place my hand over hers. Once again I feel that kick right at the spot where are hands are. Alexa jumped and removed her hand. "That was the babies telling you hi." I reached for her again wrapping her in my arms.

"Hi." She giggled placing her hand back on my stomach then looking up at me when she didn't feel another kick. "Where?" She asked simply.

"I think they are sleeping." I tell her. I turn around when I hear Edward come into the room. He breaks out into a grin seeing us on the floor. Alexa's hand is still on my stomach. I look down and she's focusing on her hand and how she's going to wake the babies up.

"Mama, no sleep." She frowns at me like I did something wrong. "Wake up." I expected her to hit my stomach but she just poked it. I barely felt her tiny finger.

Edward tells her to not hurt the babies and then takes her from me. She rests her head on his shoulder as she yawns. I glance at the clock and realize it's nap time. Edward seems to realize this too because he starts rubbing her back.

"I should take her upstairs." I said getting up off of the floor for the second time today. It was starting to get really difficult to get myself up.

"We can just put her in my bed so you don't have to carry her up there."

"Good idea." I put a hand on my back.

We got Alexa situated before going in the kitchen to get some lunch. I almost forgot that Rose called. I walk outside with my phone before dialing her number. It feels nice out even if it's extremely cold. I was burning up in that house.

"_I was wondering when you'd call me back." _Rose answered the phone.

"Sorry, what's up?" I asked knowing there was some reason why she was calling.

"_Nothing, I just miss you insanely at work. The new nurse is terrible and has no idea what she's doing." _

"Honestly, I don't miss working." I laughed. "I thought I would but I don't.

"_You suck." _She huffed. "_Now for the real reason I'm calling I was wondering what you think about hooking Jacob up with Vivienne_."

"Michael's Mom?" I asked wondering where this had come from.

"_She's alone. He's alone and face it Jake isn't ugly. If it weren't for Emmett…" _She trailed off. I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. _"Even if Jake smells like wet dog sometimes."_

"He does not." I defended him.

"_Whatever, not my point. I need to know your opinion."_

"I think it's a great idea, Rose. Vivienne is alone now without Michael and I think Jacob would be a perfect fit for her." Now that I think about it it's a great idea. Rose spends the next half hour telling me her plan for getting them to go on a date.


	42. Chapter 41

I'm no doctor so i've got no clue what i'm talking about. I'm no complaining, really i'm not, but last chapter I only got 20 reviews when they are over 450 that have this story on their alert list...Even if you just put a smiley face or a sad face, just please review! I WILL NOT hold back chapters if I don't get alot of reviews, though. Anyway, BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE EXTRAS!

Chapter 41

I pace back on forth in the small room at the doctor's office. I'm a very impatient pregnant woman. I just want them to hurry up with my checkup so I can see what my babies are. I smile as I stop pacing and place my hand on my growing belly. These past two weeks have been amazing. Edward still has his moments but he's getting so much better.

"Ms. Swan." The doctor walked in with a large smile on her face. I glared at her as she motions for me to get back on the exam table. From behind me I can hear Edward chuckle. I turn my head around and give him the same glare but it didn't work. My face instantly softened when I saw his. I reached my hand out and he grasped it firmly before brining it up to his lips. I couldn't help but sigh contently.

She starts asking me a million different questions, most of which involved a yes or a no answer. I answered her truthfully, not caring that Edward was sitting right there and I hadn't even told him some of the things I was telling her. She did the internal exam before telling me it was time to see my babies.

I started crying when they came up on the screen. Their heartbeats were so strong.

"Look at our babies." I gasped out clutching Edward's hand tighter.

"They are beautiful, just like their mother." He whispers in my ear. I just nodded unable to form any other words. I'm not even paying attention to the doctor right now, just the two most precious things in the world.

"That is baby A." The doctor breaks me from my spell. I watch as she points to a baby. "And that is baby B. They are developing wonderfully, Ms. Swan. I'm going to put you on a much stronger iron vitamin and I'm going to need you to be even more careful with what you eat. From what you told me you have had dizzy spells lately and experienced more morning sickness." I nod. I'd do whatever she told me to d for those two little babies on that screen and in my belly.

"So, they are both healthy? I'm doing everything right?" I asked.

"Yes, you are doing everything you are supposed to be doing. As long as you do not stay on your feet for long periods of time and watch your diet I can't see why you won't have two very healthy beautiful babies in twenty weeks." That's all I needed to hear. Well, apart from what we were having. "Now, how about we figure out what you're having." I felt Edward tighten his grip on my hand. I glanced back at him and saw how eager he was to find out. I knew he just wanted to be right about them both being girls.

* * *

I was slicing up a tomato when I heard Edward coming into the kitchen. I looked behind me to find my man with a wide smile on his beautiful face.

"Told you." Edward smirked at me. He just kept rubbing it in that he was right. I just shook my head and turned back to my task at hand. Everyone would be over soon so we could announce the sex of the babies. I hadn't told anyone but Alice that we were finding out today. Masen didn't even know, I wanted it to be a surprise.

I placed the tomatoes in the salad I was fixing. I walked over to the oven and checked to see if the chicken was finished yet. I smiled when the smell hit me. It was definitely finished. I reached for the pan completely forgetting to grab a pot holder or something so I wouldn't burn my hand.

Needless to say that's exactly what I did. I screamed and dropped the entire pan on the floor.

"Bella?!" Edward was right behind me. I was still screaming as I ran to the sink and let the cold water run over my burn.

"I forgot to grab a pot holder." I cried out. It hurt so bad, I couldn't help but cry. "Oh God, Edward. It hurts." I choked out. This wasn't good. I knew I was forgetting something when I took out the chicken. How could I be so stupid and careless?

"Let me see it." Edward stuck his hand out and I laid mine in his. The contact of his fingers grazing it just made it worse. "You're going to have a bad scar here." He sighed then looked up at me. "What were you thinking, Bella?" He sounded angry with me now. I didn't want him to be angry.

"Do I need to go to the hospital? This isn't going to affect the babies, right?" I said quickly.

"I think you'll be fine, just please leave the hot stuff to Masen or me. Masen and I will finish up dinner, you go take a bath or something. You're banned from the kitchen for the rest of the day. On second thought you're banned from the kitchen the rest of your pregnancy." I hoped he was joking but the look on Edward's face told me that he completely serious.

Everyone arrived an hour later. My hand still felt like it was on fire. Edward had given me an icepack and demanded that I keep it on there. He had somehow been able to rescue the chicken since it didn't hit the floor. I still wasn't sure I wanted to eat it.

"So, Bells want to tell us why we're all here?" Charlie didn't waste any time. He had a worried look on his face when he walked through my living room with Sue attached at his hip.

"After dinner." I smiled. I hid my hand behind my back so he wouldn't see the icepack or how bad it looked. Edward and Masen worried enough, I didn't need Charlie to be worrying over me too.

Rosalie seemed to guess what our news was going to be. She wanted to know right away but I wanted to tell everyone together. Alice had bribed me to tell her before anyone else but I didn't find that very fair. She even pulled the 'but I'm your best friend' line.

It was in the middle of dinner when Rosalie noticed my hand. I heard her gasp when I reached for my water glass. I tried to pull my hand back and hide it under the table but since she was sitting next to me she just grabbed it to examine it. I groaned when everyone looked at us.

"It's just a little burn. It's not that big of a deal." I told her.

"Jesus, Bells what were you doing? Playing with fire?" Charlie spoke up.

"I was pulling the chicken out of the oven. Like I said it's no big deal. It barely hurts." I lied. Rose was still examining my hand. She was in full doctor mode right now. She started to rattle off what kind of cream I needed to get for it to make sure it didn't scar up too bad. I hadn't heard but I knew Edward did and he'd remind me later.

Once dinner was over Masen, Emmett and Jasper cleared the table. I tried to help but no one would let me lift a finger. Alice told me to enjoy it while I could. She was sure enjoying everyone doting on her.

Alexa and Isabelle were upstairs sleeping when Edward and I announced that we were ready to tell everyone why they were hear. Alice scooted to the edge of her seat, I couldn't help but chuckle at my best friend.

"Well, today I had a doctor's appointment…"

"Why? Are the babies okay? Are you sick?" Charlie interrupted me.

"You didn't let me finish!" I huffed out. "Now, as I was saying we had a doctor's appointment to find out the sexes of the babies." I smiled and looked over at Edward so he could tell the news.

"Both girls!" He pulled the sonograms out of his pocket and passed them around the table.

"Oh my!" Alice gasped. "You're going to have your hands full."

"Isn't it great?" I hadn't seen Edward this happy in awhile. He was ecstatic about the sex of the twins. At first I thought it was just because he was happy that he was right. Then I noticed that he was truly hoping for two girls.

"Congrats, Bells." Charlie stood up smiling and walked over to me. I stood up and my father enveloped me in a hug. Emmett was next and I had to remind him to not hug me so hard. Rosalie and Alice both hugged me then started asking me about what I was going to do for the nursery. I hadn't even though about that. I figured I'd figure that all out once we were in the new house.

Speaking of the new house we had been able to put in an extra bedroom downstairs of our large home. We weren't sure if he would be able to walk up the stairs even after he was able to gain full control of his legs again. Of course I wasn't so sure if I wanted the twins all the way upstairs. We hadn't quite figured everything out but Edward promised we'd figure it all out by the time they were born. I trusted him.

"You do realize that the genders in this house won't be equal, right? Dad and I will be the only two guys out of four girls." Masen groaned. I laughed at him.

I watched as Edward got that look in his eyes, the one he got every time Masen called him Dad. He was so proud the first time he heard Masen call him that. He had even cried, although he refused to admit that.

I couldn't wait until the morning when I could tell Alexa, even if she wouldn't be able to understand what I was telling her.

It was close to midnight when everyone left. I was beyond tired, and I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to sleep in that twin bed with Edward anymore. It was getting far too small for the four of us. I just hated the thought of having to sleep alone again.

"Why are you looking so sad?" Edward wheeled into the living room when I was looking at the bed trying to figure something out how I could still sleep downstairs with him without having to sleep in that cramped bed.

"I'm sleeping upstairs tonight." I finally said not being able to figure anything else out.

"I understand." Edward nodded but I could tell he was sad about it. "Are you going to bed now or do you want to watch a movie?" He asked. I bit my lip. I knew that I'd fall asleep during the movie but that also meant a little more time with Edward. I nodded. He popped in a DVD before settling himself on the couch. I laid my head in his lap and laid on my side. He ran his hand through my hair the entire movie.

I really do love this man.


	43. Chapter 42

I thought I'd give you guys some not so intense EdwardPOV. Well, not as intense as usual. Plus some Edward/Masen time. REVIEW! woooo, almost to 800!!! I'm excited! :) and I owe it all to all of you amazing people.

Chapter 42

As I watch Bella sleep I can't help but wonder how I deserved such an amazing woman in my life. After everything I've done, I don't deserve this happiness. I don't deserve Bella, but damn it I'm far too selfish to let her leave me. I need her just as much as I know she needs me.

Sometimes I think about if I would have died in that wreck. Would Bella have moved on? Would my children call someone else Daddy? Would Bella have even made it through the pregnancy with the twins? I hated thinking about it but I knew the answer was no, those babies wouldn't have made it.

"Edward." She mumbled in her sleep pulling me away from my morbid thoughts. I looked down at her and smiled. I raked my hand through her soft hair again. I didn't care that I was beyond tired, all that mattered is that Bella was sleeping peacefully with her head in my lap.

I hadn't seen her look so content since she started sleeping in the twin bed with me. I hated that she was so cramped up in that bed with me every night but once again my selfishness poked through. I needed her warm little body next to mine. I needed my hand resting on her belly all night as if I were protecting the babies from harm. I needed all of it and I can't help but be upset that she'd start sleeping upstairs again. I knew it would be more comfortable for her. I just wasn't looking forward to sleeping alone again.

I wished with everything in me that I could stand up and bring her upstairs to bed. I hated not being able to do those simple things for her.

"Edward. I love you." She said it so plainly that I thought she had woken up. I realized she was still fast asleep. Bella moaned out a couple of times before I saw her rocking her hips. I widened my eyes. She was having a sex dream. God, how I wished I could make that a reality instead of her having to find her release in dreamland.

I had no idea what to do. I wasn't sure if I should wake her up and tell her to go to bed so I wouldn't feel like such a pervert watching or if I should just let her lay there. I hadn't made up my mind yet when I felt Bella shift again. I looked down and saw that she had woken up.

"Please tell me I did not say anything while I was sleeping." She groaned putting her hands over her face in embarrassment. I couldn't help but chuckle at the adorable blush that spread across her cheeks. "I did, didn't I?"

"A little. Would you like to tell me about that dream you were just having?" I smirked. Bella groaned again.

"No, I don't think I would." She said sitting up. I felt a loss when she got off of the couch. I was already missing her. Yes, I'm pathetic but who couldn't be when they were with this amazing woman? "You need to get some rest. I'm sorry I fell asleep. I'm just so darn tired lately." She sighed resting her hand on the top of her stomach. I loved that bump. It just made her all the more beautiful.

"Can I at least say goodnight to my girls?" Bella smiled and walked closer to me so my face was level with her stomach. I reached out with both hands placing them on either side. I leaned in and gave her belly a kiss. I nuzzled my nose on it before whispering goodnight. "I love all three of you." I looked up at Bella not removing my hands.

"We love you so much." Bella's voice cracked as she started to cry. I hated seeing her cry. "These stupid hormones." She muttered wiping at her eyes.

"You're amazing, you know that?" I smiled taking my hands away.

"I know." She laughed still crying. "Goodnight." She leaned down and kissed my lips before leaving the room. I couldn't help but watch her walk away. Even in pregnancy she had an adorable butt. I groaned then wishing I could get some sort of release. It was driving me insane that I couldn't make love to her.

* * *

"How about Haley?" Bella stuck the end of the pen in her mouth. She was going through a baby name book trying to figure out what we'd name our girls. The names she kept throwing at me just didn't seem right. "Or Bailey?"

"I don't like either." I shrugged. While she was going through that I was busy reading the through many documents the hospital had given me about my surgery. It would be a month from now and nervous was an understatement. Sometimes thinking about it would make me sick. I just wanted everything back to normal. I needed this to work.

"Then what do you like?" She asked annoyed that I wasn't more into finding a name. I just shrugged. "Stop being so difficult, Edward."

"Can't this wait?" I asked glancing up. She looked just as annoyed as she sounded. I gulped a little scared of her facial expression.

"I don't want our daughters to remain nameless!" She burst out. I was surprised this was such a big deal to her. Then again I should know it would be since everything lately had been turned into a big deal for her. "I need to leave this room before I hurt you." She quickly stood up from the table. Those damn pregnancy hormones were sure getting the best of her.

I heard her yell something after she left the kitchen. Masen walked in soon after with a look of terror on his face. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sure that I was sporting the same look just moments before.

"All I did was ask what was for dinner."

* * *

Around five the house became pre-date central. I hadn't even known about Bella getting Jacob and Vivienne together. She hadn't mentioned it until Rosalie had shown up with a few different bags in tow. Alice came soon after.

"She's here!" Alice squealed jumping towards the front door. She still had so much energy, it was almost scary. Bella quickly introduced us before running upstairs with the other girls. I was happy that she was excited about something instead of crying or bursting out at us.

"I'm not sure what's worse. Mean Mom or excited Mom." I laughed at my son as he sat Alexa down on the floor.

I watched Alexa play on the floor with her blocks. Masen was lounging on the sofa flipping through channels. I was inwardly groaning wishing he would just pick something already, the constant flipping was giving me a headache.

"Dad?" I was still getting used to Masen calling me Dad.

"Hmm?"

"If I tell you something do you promise not to tell Mom?" He sat the remote down. I nodded. "Well…um…God this is embarrassing." He groaned.

"What is it?" I asked giving him my full attention.

"Lane and I…we made love…and um…things are different now…" He trailed off looking away.

"Different how?" I asked. I wasn't sure what else to say. He was confiding in me, something I hadn't even done with my father when I made love to Bella for the first time.

"I don't really know but she acts completely different around me now."

"You used protection, right?" I had to ask, I couldn't have him repeating what his mother and I did.

"Of course." He ran his hand through his hair. I couldn't believe how much that hair looked like mine, or how much he looked like me. Sometimes I felt that I was looking through a mirror rather then at my son. "I love her, and I've already realized I never want to let her go but she's become so distant. I can't help but think I did something wrong."

I really wished I had something to say to him but I didn't. Bella and I had been together much longer then he and Lane. We were both ready for that step, maybe Lane wasn't. Maybe she just thought it was something she had to do just like Bella had at the beginning of our relationship.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"I've tried to a couple of times." He shrugged. "I'm supposed to go over there tonight, maybe I'll talk to her about it then."

"That might be a good idea." I said happy he sort of figured it out for himself. Masen left shortly after. I gave him a good luck on his way out.

Bella came down the stairs before the rest of the women. She looked so tired standing there. She plopped down on the sofa next to me. Alexa got up and walked over towards us. She climbed up into my lap laying her head down on my chest. She yawned but I knew it was much too early for her to go to sleep just yet.

"Remind me to never get pregnant again." Bella groaned. "I mean it, Edward Cullen. If you get my pregnant again I will personally chop off your balls." The tone of her voice told me she wasn't kidding.

There was a knock at the front door. I couldn't understand why I wasn't standing up when I tried. I had completely forgotten that I had no use of my legs. I felt defeated when Bella had to get up and answer the door.

I growled when I heard Jacob's voice. I knew he wasn't here for Bella but I couldn't help it. Bella said a few words to him before inviting him in. She bit her lip looking between the stairs and me. She wasn't sure if she should leave us alone.

Luckily she didn't have to because Alice skipped down the stairs with Rosalie following right behind her. Vivienne looked far beyond nervous when they introduced her to Jacob.

Jacob hadn't said a word to me the entire time he was in my house. I didn't mind it at all, it was way better that way. Now all I had to do was get him to stop talking to Bella.


	44. Chapter 43

There are a few things I want to address before you read this chapter. Sorry for this long AN, btw.

- Lane is NOT pregnant. She won't be in this story. ( But if I decide to write a sequel then who knows what will happen in that!) I refuse to make her pregnant at this age. There's too much going on right now for this family anyway. What happened with her and Masen is explained in an extra on the extra's page.

- Edward gets his surgery in this chapter but that doesn't mean it works. I don't want to get everyone's hopes up. Even if he does walk again he still won't be the same afterwards. His legs won't be the same. I just want you to know that before you completely decide that you want him to walk again. It will be even more trouble for him to walk but Edward's a fighter and we all know he won't stop until he's all back to normal. We'll just have to see what happens.

- I realized that in the beginning of this story I said Alice was three months further along then Bella. Then in later chapters I said she was only three weeks. I'm not sure if anyone caught this. But, let's go with her being three weeks further. Sorry for that. My mind is all over the place these days.

- Lastely, i'm not a doctor so all of this stuff could be completely false. I wish I knew what I was talking about but I really don't.

- Oh and I love you all! I wonder if by the end of this story we can get this story to 1,000 reviews. hmm, we'll just have to see!

Now, go ahead and read. :)

Chapter 43

"Are you nervous?" I whispered to Edward. It's the night before his surgery. The past month has flown by like nobodies business. At 24 weeks pregnant I feel like I'm already going to pop but unfortunately there are still 16 weeks until I give birth to my girls. Edward and I are just ready to meet our miracles.

"Very much so." He breathed out. I snuggled my body as close to him as I could possibly get without crushing him or the babies. The guys had brought in a full size bed so I could sleep in the living room with Edward. It was so much easier for me since I didn't have to go upstairs so much. Those stairs were the devil.

"Everything's going to be just fine." I was reassuring the both of us. I had to believe it. I had to believe this would work, if it didn't then I don't even want to know what it would to Edward. He's relying so much on this that he'd be beyond devastated if it doesn't work.

There was no way I was going to fall asleep anytime soon. Between my nerves and the twins kicking me, I was wide awake. Edward wasn't doing much better then me. We were just laying there quietly in the darkness waiting for six AM so we could head to the hospital.

Jasper would be by to pick us up so that he could help Edward in and out of the vehicle. Alice was going to stay at the house to watch Alexa for the day. Edward didn't want me at the hospital while he was having his surgery. He thought it would be best if I stay home and rest. There was no way in hell I was doing that. For one if I stayed home I'd be a complete and total nervous wreck thinking about him. For two…well I don't know but I'm not staying home. I have to be there. I need to be there.

* * *

"I love you." I whispered squeezing Edward's hand as he lay on a hospital bed. They were about to wheel him into surgery. He just smiled happily to me through the drugs. His anesthetic was working perfectly because in the next second he was out. I felt sick to my stomach when the doctor's asked me to wait for him in the waiting room. It was time.

I walked back towards where Jasper was waiting for me. He was going to sit with me while Edward was in surgery. I couldn't thank him nor Alice enough for what they were doing for us today.

"He's going to be just fine, Bella." Jasper reached over and squeezed my hand once I sat down beside him.

"I know." I whispered. "I'm just nervous that it won't work. Jazz, it has to work. Can you imagine if the doctor's tell him there's no hope at all? He'll be devastated and I'm positive he'll just fall back into his depression. I can't have that. We can't have that." I sighed looking down at my belly. My girls were especially hyper today. They were kicking me like crazy. I was getting used to the force though. Who knew that two little girls could kick so hard?

"All we can do is hope for the best, Bells." He squeezed my hand again. I just nodded towards him.

Noon came around and the surgery still wasn't finished. I knew it would most likely take all day but I was getting more anxious by the second. Emmett ended up coming by with food around then.

"I thought you'd be hungry." He smiled holding up a greasy bag of fast food. I licked my lips knowing I shouldn't eat whatever was in that bag. "One cheeseburger isn't going to hurt." He smiled handing it over.

"Have I told you lately that I love you, Em?" I glanced up at him and then back to the bag. I snatched it open and found a juicy steak burger from the burger place down the street.

"It's the least I could do." He laughed before sitting down next to me. I started stuffing my mouth with the burger not caring for a second how much I would regret this later. It was too good to pass up. "So, any news?"

"He's still in surgery but I'm pretty sure he'll only be in there for another hour or so." Jasper answered for me since my mouth was far too full for me to speak without spitting my food everywhere.

"That's good to know." Emmett nodded. I noticed he was in his police uniform. I suddenly felt bad for him leaving work just to bring me lunch. "I need to get back to work but I'll see you later." He stood up then pulled me up into a hug. He had learned to not squeeze too tightly.

I finished off my burger then leaned back in my chair feeling fully satisfied.

"Jasper." I bit my lip and looked over at him.

"Hmm?" He seemed to have been thinking about something.

"Could you please find me some hot chocolate." I felt terrible for asking but there was no way I was leaving my spot and I suddenly felt the need to drink some hot chocolate. It just sounded heavenly after eating that burger.

"Sure can." He chuckled.

The hot chocolate was just as heavenly as I thought it would be. It was so hot against my tongue but I didn't seem to care when it burnt my mouth. Jasper kept telling me to slow down.

"Ms. Swan?" I was startled when I heard a voice in the almost empty waiting room. I quickly thrust my cup into Jasper's hand and walked towards the nurse that had called for me.

"That's me."

"Mr. Cullen's surgery went wonderfully, he should be awake within the hour. The doctor would like to see you before he wakes, though. So, if you will please follow me." I nodded and then looked back at Jasper. He gave me a smile and a nod for me to go ahead.

I followed the woman through the halls anxiously. We got to a door and she knocked.

"Dr. Hendricks? Ms. Swan is here to see you." She said to Edward's doctor. The nurse ushered me into the room before shutting it behind me. I walked over and sat in the chair that was across from his desk.

"Ms. Swan. It's lovely to see you again." He gave me a smile. "I'm sure you want to know how things went?"

"Of course." I nodded eagerly.

* * *

"Edward!" I didn't care that he had just woken up and then he was probably on pain killers. I walked towards his bed as quickly as possible. I leaned over as much as possible as I could to kiss him on his lips gently. He sighed contently.

"Did you talk to the Dr?" He asked. I nodded. I wondered if Dr. Hendricks had been in here to talk to him as well. "Six weeks before we'll know anything." He sounded defeated. I found a chair and slid it over to his bed. I reached out and smoothed back his hair.

"We've waited this long I think we can wait another six weeks." I smiled at him. His body needed time to heal, which meant it would take six weeks before he could start therapy. By then they would be able to know if the surgery had worked or not. The doctor said Edward might experience some feeling below his waist, which was a good thing.

"You're right." He reached up and took my hand in his. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. "I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled.

* * *

The after effects of his surgery were much more intense then I thought they would be. I wasn't of much help, so we had a live in nurse for the time being. I honestly wasn't too happy about that since she was a woman and I swear she made eyes at my Edward.

He was home after two days in the hospital which wasn't much compared to the time he spent there after he got in the car wreck.

"Mr. Cullen. Do you need anything?" Heidi purred. I shot her daggers from my spot on the couch. If I weren't six months pregnant then you can bet I would beat that bimbo down.

"Can you go get my daughter?" He asked indifferently. I head Heidi let out a huff before heading upstairs to get Alexa. I smiled when I saw her bring down my baby girl. Alexa didn't seem to like Heidi either. That made me happy. She pushed out of Heidi's arms so she could get to me.

"Mama!"

"Morning Princess." I laughed pulling her close to me. Alexa wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed tightly. I laughed again when she pulled away and frowned. My belly had gotten in the way of her hugging me any tighter.

"Good Morning, Lex." Edward spoke from the bed. Alexa turned quickly and climbed down from me. She started to climb into the bed when Heidi stopped her.

"No little girl." I growled when she grabbed Alexa and sat her on the floor. Alexa started screaming and Edward was fuming just as much as I was. I got up from the couch as quickly as possible before bending over and picking Alexa up myself. Edward didn't protest when I sat her down on the bed next to him. Alexa stopped crying and climbed on him placing her head on his chest.

"Don't you dare do that again. If Edward doesn't think he can handle it then he will tell you but Alexa is harmless." I snap at Heidi. Heidi rolls her eyes at me.

I knew then that this wasn't going to work. She had to go. I'd make sure that she was out of my house by the next morning.


	45. Chapter 44

Edward's POV. Sort of short...

Chapter 44

"Bella, where's Heidi?" I wheeled into the kitchen finding Bella making breakfast. The in home nurse should have been doing that. I knew Bella didn't like her much but we really needed her help. Bella was getting bigger and could barely move around.

"Back to wherever she came from." Bella chirped from the stove. She seemed to be in a strange mood so I knew to tread lightly around her.

"We need the help…" I started but she cut me off by turning around and pointing the knife at me. I widened my eyes and wheeled back a little.

"So, you expect me to let some whore into my home?" Her other hand went to her hip. The stance would have been adorable if she didn't have that knife in her hand. "Did you not see how she was looking at you?! Then, she was mean to our daughter! Did you not pay attention to that, Edward? Or did you like her looking at you like that? Did you like that whore prancing around my house in next to nothing?" The more she talked the angrier she got. I could tell by the way she was waving the knife around.

Truthfully, I didn't pay any sort of special attention to Heidi. I don't even remember what she looks like. Plus, with a woman like Bella why would I ever look at another woman? Bella is all I need.

I saw how Heidi handled Alexa but I pulled her aside and told her to not touch my daughter again. I wouldn't stand for that.

"Whatever, don't answer me. I've solved the problem. She's gone." Bella got out before I could fully process everything she had just said to me.

"Bella, we need someone." I tried.

"I've handled that, Edward. Stop worrying." She turned around back towards the stove. I just shook my head and wheeled towards Alexa's highchair where she was sitting playing with her breakfast.

"Morning, baby girl." I reached out and smoothed back her curls. Her hair was getting so much longer now.

I glanced over at Bella and realized how freaking sexy she looked when she was mad. I wasn't really sure why she was mad, I just knew she was by the way she was standing.

"Do you know how sexy you look right now?" I wheeled over to be behind her. I reached forward and grabbed her hips pulling her down on my lap. She was taken by surprise. "I wish I could take you right here." I whispered in her ear. There was nothing more I wanted right now then to make love to her. I wanted her so bad, it was killing me. She reached her small hand behind her and rubbed against my crotch.

I felt it. I moaned before attacking her lips. She pulled away from me with widened eyes.

"Is that…did you…oh my God." She was just as surprised as I was when we both looked down and realized I finally fucking got it up. I could finally make love to my girl. "I'm really happy you got that surgery." She grinned widely sitting across my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pecked my lips.

"Mmm, me too." I moaned when I felt her hand rub against me again. God, it felt amazing. She pulled away and went to get up. I gripped her waist.

"Breakfast is getting cold, Edward." She unwrapped my arms from around her as she rolled her eyes at me. I could care less about breakfast. I wasn't hungry for food, I was hungry for her. It's been months since we made love, what is stopping her now? She's the one that is constantly reminding me how much she wants me. "Plus, I'm really not in the mood right now. How about later?" She pushed on my chest making me roll backwards.

I just sat there confused as hell. She just turned me down. I could finally get hard and she fucking turns me down!

She takes her breakfast to the table and starts eating. I can see the smirk on her face.

"You're serious?" I finally pulled myself out of my daze and rolled over to the table.

"Very. Then there is the fact that our daughter is sitting in here and Masen is upstairs studying with Lane." I couldn't help but let out a laugh. Yeah, studying on a Saturday. Did she really believe that?

Masen told me after I got out of the hospital that he resolved things with Lane. She just wasn't ready for that extra step in their relationship. I told him to not push her. She'd know when she was ready for real this time.

Bella turned around with a confused look on her face. I just shook my head hoping she wouldn't ask.

"How about we get them to take Alexa to the park or something?" I tried.

"How about not? Really, Edward, I'm not in the mood. I feel way too fat to even make an attempt at sex right now." She frowned at me.

"Just yesterday you were whining about not being able to make love!" I said a little too loudly.

Masen and Lane chose that moment to come into the kitchen.

"I really didn't need to hear that." Masen made a gagging sound. "We're going out."

"Alright but be back by two." Bella told him before they left.

"What's at two?" I asked her. Bella just shrugged then got up to clean off Alexa. She left the kitchen to give our daughter a bath.

I was still shocked that she turned me down like that. I really didn't want to have to take care of this myself.

* * *

Bella brought it up that she wanted to wash me in the shower once Alexa was taking a nap. She had something up her sleeve by the smirk on her face when she suggested it.

"Strip." She giggled as she started pulling her own clothes off once we were in the bathroom. I raised an eyebrow at her in confusion. "Just do it, Edward." She rolled her eyes once her shirt was completely off. She wasn't wearing a bra. She complained every morning that didn't fit anymore.

God, she was sexy standing there. Her bump just made her even sexier.

"It's only been two weeks and the doctor said no physical activity for six weeks." She stepped forward and started helping me undress. "I lied earlier. I want you. I want you so bad that it's killing me that I'm turning you down but I don't want to hurt you. And I know for a fact that if we make love right now it will be anything but gentle."

I couldn't help but moan and close my eyes as her hand caressed my chest. I could feel myself getting hard again. I needed a release. Right now.

"Then why are you teasing me?" I groaned out enjoying the feel of her tiny hands.

"Because I can't help it." She sighed as her hands got lower. Then just like that her hands left me. "But, we still have four more weeks." She smiled.

"No way." I opened my eyes and realized she had stepped away from me. I pulled on her hips to bring her closer to me. "You can't just do that and then stop."

"I don't want to hurt you…" She sighed. I could tell she was already breaking down. "You just had surgery, Edward. Major surgery. You need more time to heal…"

"I've had enough time." My voice was growing husky as I let my hand travel up her sides. "Bella, I want you so bad. Please." Yes, I was begging. I wanted this. I needed this.


	46. Chapter 45

I'm so not mean. :) I solved their little problem.

Chapter 45

With Edward's pleas I couldn't deny him any longer. I just didn't want to hurt him. Then again I knew there were other ways to give him his release. But there was a part of me that wanted to be selfish because I really needed my release as well.

I smirked at him when a thought came to mind. If I pleasured him then he could return it. We didn't have to have sex for that.

I knelt down in front of him. Edward look confused when I started unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down his legs along with his boxers. I couldn't help but lick my lips at the sight of him.

"Bella…" His voice was getting huskier by the second. "You don't have to…" Oh yes I did.

"Just stop talking and let me do this so you can give me my release." I grinned. Edward just nodded. "You want this, right?" He nodded again. I got up slightly so I could kiss his lips before getting down to business.

* * *

"You're a Goddess." Edward reached up to pull me down to kiss his lips. I smiled against his lips. We both really needed that. I know I felt so much better now. I could tell he did too. I had to pull away before I let the kiss get too heavy. Alexa would be waking up soon. "Can you tell me what's going on at two?"

"Nope." I smirked wrapping the towel around my body. I was thankful for these large towels that could actually go around my entire body, even my bump. "It's a surprise." I tell him.

After firing Heidi I had to think of something else to do about getting help in our house. I knew we needed it, pretty soon I would be far too big to do anything. I knew just the person to call. They happily agreed without any hesitation.

I walked out of the bathroom to grab Edward and myself a change of clothes. I could hear voices in the living room. I was happy that the closet was in the hall and I didn't have to walk out into the living room. I knew it was Masen and I had a feeling he would want to see that.

"Masen's home." I tell Edward when I return to the bathroom. I hand him his clothes and help him dress before dressing myself.

Before leaving the room Edward wheels over to me and grabs my hips pulling me forward. He lips up my shirt and leans forward to kiss my belly.

"Daddy loves his girls." He whispered. I was about to start crying when Edward pulled away. I blinked back the tears and smiled at him. "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

I was practically bouncing in my seat like Alice when two o'clock rolled around. Masen kept telling me to calm down but I just couldn't. I was too excited to do that.

"Can you tell us who is coming so we can be excited too?" Masen sounded annoyed.

"Just wait and see." I tell him. I don't feel like dealing with his teenage attitude right now. It'd be best if he didn't say anything else for the rest of the day.

When the doorbell rang I quickly jumped up from the couch, or as quickly as I possibly could for being six months pregnant with twins.

I opened the door to find two smiling faces.

"Oh, Bella! You've gotten so big!" Esme gushed quickly coming forward and hugging me. I knew without a doubt that I made the right choice in calling Esme and Carlisle up here to help us out. They were even thinking about moving here, again. I hoped they would. I wanted them here permanently so their grandchildren could grow up with them. "I'm so sorry we didn't come sooner. I feel terrible that we weren't here after Edward's accident." They hadn't even stepped into the house and Esme was already talking quickly.

"Mom? Dad?" I turned around to find Edward behind me. I smiled widely at him. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I told you I'd take care of it." I tell Edward. "Why don't you two come in. I'm sure your flight was long and you would like to rest." I opened the door wider so they could step through. Carlisle kissed my cheek as he passed by me. I could tell Edward was surprised that I called them. I couldn't tell if it was a good surprised or a bad one.

"Heaven's no, Bella. I want to spend time with my Grandkids." Esme gushed picking Alexa up off of the floor. She hugged her tightly before making her way towards Masen. He seemed surprised to see them, too, but I could tell that his surprised was a good one.

* * *

Dinner was hectic. Alice and Jasper joined us filling our house even more. I couldn't wait until we moved into our new much bigger home.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" I jumped slightly at Edward's touch on my arm. I was in an intense conversation with Esme about the twins. She wanted to know as much as possible about my pregnancy since she hadn't been through the nine months of pregnancy.

"Of course. Excuse me, Esme." I smiled at her before following Edward out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the bathroom. I raised any eyebrow. We sure spent a lot of time in here. "There is no way I'm going to give you a blow job when your parent's are in the next room." I tell him still confused by the look on his face. He looks upset.

"No, that's not why I brought you in here." He shook his head like I should know what was going on. "You shouldn't have called them."

"Edward, we needed the help. I don't feel comfortable letting a stranger in our home and around our children. After Heidi I refuse to hire another in home nurse."

"We could have managed without you calling my parent's." He threw his hands up in the air. He was angry with me for calling them. I thought he would be happy to have his parent's here. "I just…I wish you would have talked to me first." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I thought you would want them here…"

"I do, Bella. I just think this is something you should have talked to me about first." He reaches forward and grabs my hands as he pulls me closer to him.

"I'm really sorry, Edward." I started to cry. I thought I was doing the right thing.

"No. Don't cry!"

"I just…I'm trying so hard here! I'm…I can't…I'm sorry." I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I wasn't even sure why I was crying. It had to be my pregnancy hormones. At least I wasn't yelling or pointing knives at him.

"I know, Bella. I don't mean to make you cry."

"I should have talked to you first, I know. I just wanted to surprise you." I sat down on his lap. Pretty soon I would be getting bigger and I wouldn't be able to do this often.

"It was a surprise." He chuckled.

"But not a good one?" I frowned. I messed up.

"I don't know, Bella. Right now, I just don't know. I'm happy they are here but I really don't want them seeing me like this. I'm weak…what will my father think? I know for a fact that Esme is going to baby me and I don't need that. I'm really grateful that you're trying to help, though. Believe that." He cupped my cheek. I just nodded and buried my face in his chest. "We'll just have to see how things go."

I closed my eyes and let his scent overtake me. I was pretty sure it wasn't long until I fell asleep. It was so nice being in Edward's arms.


	47. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

"Edward, please make them stop!" I whined trying to cover my ears from the noises of the squeaking bed on the second floor.

Every night for the past two weeks, since Esme and Carlisle started staying with us, has gone exactly the same. It starts out with her giggle and then he growls. After that you better put on ear plugs because you're in for a long night of their…sex…noises.

Oh God. You'd think after he had his heart attack they would slow down a little. But, no.

"Mom, is this going to happen every single night?" Masen groaned from the couch. He couldn't even sleep on the same floor as them anymore. Poor kid. I'm not even sure how Alexa can sleep through it.

"Seems like it." I grumbled wishing I could just fall asleep. I glanced at the clock counting down the seconds until they finally tire out and go to sleep.

These past two weeks have been…different. Edward was right about Esme babying him. Although, he was wrong about Carlisle finding him weak. Carlisle had been able to transfer over to Forks hospital since they had decided to move to Forks permanently. All of his free time was spent trying to figure out every possible way for Edward to walk again.

As much as I loved them staying with us, I was more then ready for them to find their own place. I could tell my family was ready for them to move as well.

Two days after I called Esme and Carlisle, Edward apologized for how he acted. He knew calling them was the best choice. Esme really was a great help, even if she did treat Edward like a child sometimes. He was her baby and I couldn't fault her on that. I'm sure I would be doing the same if I were in that situation with Masen.

"I'll talk to them tomorrow." Edward finally spoke up trying to get me closer to him. I just slapped his arm away. It was too hot for that. I could barely breathe as it was with all of these clothes on.

"You said that last night!" I cried before realizing that they stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief before closing my eyes.

False alarm. They weren't finished yet.

"This is ridiculous. You think they could be a little quieter about it! God, Edward are we that loud?" I guess I forgot that Masen was in the room because my question earned a loud groan from him.

"Just close your eyes and block them out." Edward tells us. Easy for him to say. He grew up with them, he knows how they are. He can sleep right through it.

They finally stopped at 2:30 AM. I wasn't really sure how they lasted so damn long seeing as they went to bed at eight. Oh God. I don't even want to think about it…

* * *

"Why do you look so tired, dear? Did you not sleep well?" Esme asked me the next morning as she sipped her coffee.

"No, I didn't sleep well." I grumble at her. I'm definitely not a morning person lately.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She reached over and patted my hand that was resting on the table. I gave her a small smile before looking down at my eggs. They had seemed rather appetizing when I was making them but now they just made me sick. I stood up and chucked them in the garbage. "Do you want something else?"

"No, I'm fine. I think I'm just going to go shower." I tell her before leaving the kitchen.

When I walked into the kitchen earlier that morning I had it all planned out to talk to her about her…late nights with Carlisle, but as soon as I started talking to her I chickened out. How does one bring something like that up? Could I even fault them on that? I want my sex like with Edward to be that healthy when we are their age. But, then again I'm seven months pregnant I need my sleep and I can't sleep when they are so loud!

Edward was sitting on the couch in the living room when I walked in watching TV. He didn't look too interested in what was going on. Instead his eyes were on the floor where Alexa was busy stacking blocks. I couldn't believe she was almost two. She would turn 2, two months after the twins were born. They will be born June 21st and Alexa will turn 2 on August 18th. Masen will turn 17 just six days before the twins are born.

Only two more months and the girls will be here. It's crazy to think that it's almost May. It seems like just yesterday Edward was moving back to Fork's with Alexa. These past seven months have moved by so darn quickly. I'm still in awe of everything new in my life.

"Bella, are we ever going to name our girls?" Edward interrupted my thoughts. I smiled at him.

"Take a shower with me first and then we'll talk about names." I tried to be sexy about it but I'm not so sure it worked too well.

"Esme!" He yelled towards the kitchen. His mother quickly entered the room thinking something bad happened. "Can you watch Lex for a few?" He didn't even look at her, instead keeping his eyes on me.

"Of course, are you going somewhere?" She asked.

"No, just going to shower real quick."

"Oh of course." Esme chuckled and then winked at me. My face turned all different shades of red right then.

"Thanks." Edward finally turned around to smile at her. Esme helped him into his chair quickly before he started towards the bathroom. I couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness.

"I guess we aren't much better then your parents." I giggled once we reached the bathroom. Edward's eyes glazed over before he got closer to me and started pulling at the bottom of my shirt.

* * *

"How about Carlie?" I bit my lip looking through the baby book. It was cute, for both Carlisle and Charlie.

"How about Gracie?" I looked up at him and grinned. It was perfect.

"Gracie Renee Cullen." I put my hand on my stomach and felt a sharp kick.

"Well, it seems like they like it." I laughed. "Now we need to figure out a name for our other girl."

It was the first time Edward actually sat down and looked through baby names with me. I tried numerous times to get him to help but each time he just blew it off.

I didn't want the girls to come into this world without names.

"Alison." It was perfect. "Rose."

"Alison Rose Cullen." Edward repeated. I nodded giving him a wide smile. "Then it's settled. Gracie Renee and Alison Rose."

We were sitting on the couch. I turned so I was facing him. I lifted my shirt over my stomach and smiled down at it. I placed a hand on either side. Edward reached out and put his hands over mine.

"I can't believe we're having twins." He breathed out.

"Me either. Two beautiful girls. This house is going to get insane." I giggled when I felt a kick coming from one of the girls.

"I talked to the contractor yesterday, Bella. We won't be able to get into the house until after the girls are born…I tried…" Edward didn't remove his hands as he looked into my eyes.

"It's fine. I'm just happy we can get something bigger then this." I tell him. I bite my lip before bringing up the doctor's. He has two more weeks before he can get checked out to see if he can start therapy. He's getting feeling back little by little. It's amazing to see the progress he is already making.

I have this huge feeling that Edward is going to make a full recovery.


	48. Chapter 47

Yes, this can happen. Yes, I know you're shocked. and yes this is going to create alot of stuff for this little family (or not so little family). Everything will be just fine. Trust in me. :) I'm starting to get sad because this story doesn't have much left...but a sequel is in the works! :) OH AND BE SURE TO READ THE EXTRA'S!!

Oh and this was suggested by a reviewer. i'm not sure which one but over the last few weeks i've been thinking it over...and this is how that worked out...:)

I know what i'm doing. Promise!

Chapter 47

Thirty-six weeks. Thirty-six long and miserable weeks of being pregnant. I'm huge. I feel like I'm bigger then this house and I've shamelessly started stealing Edward's wheelchair when he's out of it. My legs barely hold me up anymore, I feel I could topple over any second. I have no clue what my feet look like anymore or if my shoes even match. All I know is I feel way to big to even be alive right now.

Esme keeps her hand on my arm as we walk through my doctor's office. She's afraid I'm going to fall over if she doesn't keep hold of me. Edward's wheeling behind us. He had fifth physical therapy appointment before we headed to my doctor's appointment.

Edward's doing an amazing job. He's working so hard, the doctor's are sure he'll make a full recovery. It will be difficult along the way but my Edward is strong and we're here backing him up, he'll make it. He's so determined to walk. He's refusing to marry me now if he doesn't get to walk on our wedding day.

"Where is that damn doctor?" I grumble walking into the small room. I hear Edward chuckle behind me. If I could I would turn around and shoot him a deadly glare, but I can't. This damn stomach is preventing that.

"Bella, dear, we just got here." Esme's about to drive me insane with all of her soothing words. She can shove them for all I care. "Or maybe I should just wait in the waiting room." I have a feeling she saw the look on my face. I just sighed and shook my head. She could stay, just as long as she didn't talk anymore.

"It's fucking hot in here." I can't control my words anymore. I have no filter whatsoever and the two people in this room have gotten used to that over the past couple of weeks. They have learned to just ignore me.

Just last week I brought up Esme and Carlisle's late night love making. I told them both how it kept me up at night and I'm sure I used some not so nice words. I haven't heard them since.

"Ms. Swan." I really do hate the smile my gynecologist wears every time I see her. How could a woman who handles pregnant women all day be that happy? I'd shoot myself. "How are you feeling?"

"Like my insides are being ripped apart." I tell her truthfully.

"That's understandable." She laughs a little. I wonder if I'd go to jail for choking her? Maybe I could just give her one sharp kick to chest…

"Can we please just get this over with so I can go home and strip?" I ask. I need this clothes to come off.

"Of course. Let's see how those babies are doing." She tells me to lay back so she can do the ultra-sound. I know afterwards she's going to want to do an internal exam, which I'm not looking forward to.

She's quiet for awhile and it's really freaking me out.

"I'm not sure how we didn't catch this…" She trailed off looking frantically at the screen. Then she turned it slightly. Something about it looked off. I could have sworn the last time I had one of these there was only two heads.

"It's seems that this little guy has been hiding behind his sisters for the past eight months."

"Excuse me?" I try to sit up so I can see the screen better. Sure enough. Three fucking heads. Not two, but three. No wonder I'm so big!

Wait.

Three?

That means…

"Triplets?" I whispered like it was a dirty word. Edward grabbed my hand but I snatched it way from him. "Do not touch me, Edward Cullen. This is all your fault." I seethed.

"This is not uncommon. I'm really not sure how we didn't catch him on your last ultra-sound though."

"You're lying to me. Tell me right now this is some sort of joke." I demanded of her.

"This is no joke, Ms. Swan. You are in fact having triplets."

"Oh God…" Esme gasped next to me.

"There's no way…" I tell her. "I'm only pregnant with twins. I'm only prepared for two babies!" I started to yell. I'm freaking out.

I'm not even ready for one baby. Let alone two. Now, three?

_Children are a blessing. _I keep repeating in my head trying to convince myself that everything is going to be just fine.

Fuck, who am I kidding?

"We're going to need to discuss the delivery. I think it would be best to schedule a c-section for two weeks. The girls seem to be very healthy but the little boy looks much smaller. I won't be sure until he's born but…" I'm still shocked at her telling me I'm having triplets, and now she wants to discuss the birth?

"Look, can you give me a minute to get all of this information in before you start off with that?" She hands me a napkin and I wipe the goop off of my stomach. Esme helps me sit all the way up.

The happy doctor leaves the room for a few minutes so that I have time to think. I haven't even looked at Edward yet. He fainted when he heard we were having twins, thank God he's in his wheel chair.

Oh God, wheel chair. Edward's still in his wheel chair and I'm about to have triplets.

Could life get any more complicated?

* * *

"Three? Are they positive?" Alice came over after I got out of the doctor's to comfort me. She only has a week before she's due but the doctor said she could have the baby any day now. She's so excited. See, it should be Alice having the triplets. Not me.

I'm worrying myself to death over this triplets thing. It just can't be possible. How could they not have seen him sooner?

A little boy. The doctor said she could tell that he's much smaller then his sisters and will probably need more attention then the girls when they are all born.

"Three." I choked handing over the new sonogram. "Three babies." I started crying.

"Oh Bella!" Alice quickly tried to comfort me but between both of us being so big it didn't work too well. "It's going to be just fine. Look at everyone you have helping you. Everything is going to be perfect." She opted to squeeze my hand instead of hugging me.

"Easy for you to say, you're only having one. No, my stupid eggs and Edward's stupid sperm have to show off and prove that they are indeed there. Fuck, Alice. I can't do this."

Edward hasn't said a word to me since leaving the doctor's office. Masen seems to be following his lead. He was sitting on the couch when we got home and I was crying. I had to tell him. He was shocked and he's been up in his bedroom ever since.

Carlisle was the only one of us not surprised. He had mentioned a few times over the last few weeks that I looked like I was carrying more then just twins. It's all his fault. He did this. He wished it upon us.

Good Lord, triplets?

I can't get it through my thick skull apparently because I keep repeating it over and over again.

This has to be some sick, cruel joke that someone is playing on me.

* * *

"_Wow, Bells. I really wasn't expecting that." _Charlie chuckled over the phone when I called him to tell him about the babies.

"Yeah, well me either." I sighed. I've felt miserable ever since I've left the doctor's office. I've also taken over the bed making Edward sleep on the couch, which I know is cruel but I can't stand to be near anyone right now.

"_Your Mother would love this." _He kept chuckling.

"I know. God, Dad, I wish she were here." I started to cry. I cried over everything so this really wasn't anything new.

"_I know, Bells. I know." _

"I'm scared." I whispered so Edward wouldn't hear, but I knew he did because his head shot up from the couch. "I don't want to do this, Daddy…" I was talking like a child, but right now I felt like one. I felt like I did whenever I would have a nightmare, scared and alone.

I know I'm not alone but…I just have this feeling like I am.

I have no idea what it is, maybe it's the hormones. Yeah, I'll blame it all on my sick pregnancy hormones.

The ones that my _triplets_ are causing.


	49. Chapter 48

Thanks to **Katherine Rosalie Hale** for the help with the baby name. Almost to 1,000 reviews...:) I can't thank you guys enough!

Chapter 48

Three days after I found out about the triplets, Alice went into labor. I couldn't be in the delivery room but I stood right outside the door listening to her screaming. I knew it hurt. I had felt that pain once before and pretty soon I would be feeling it all over again. This time three times worse.

The shock of learning about the third baby still hasn't worn off and I'm not sure it will, even after they are born.

"He's beautiful, Alice." I whispered as she smiled down at her gorgeous son. His blond hair and bright blue eyes would win over any girls heart. He was gorgeous and he would for sure be a heartbreaker one day.

"He is." She whispered. Alice hadn't stopped crying since he was born but I knew they were happy tears. She had waited so long for this moment, for this baby, and it was finally here. "Cason Andrew is the most beautiful baby ever born. Well, besides your babies." Alice laughed.

"Of course." I couldn't help but laugh along with her. "As scared as I am about having three babies, I can't wait until they are here." I tell her truthfully. I'm scared out of my mind but I already know I love them. I know that no matter what I want them. They are already mine and whether there are 2 or 3 of them, it just doesn't matter. They are my babies, and I refuse to feel anything but love towards them.

"Did you decide on a boy name yet?" I shook my head. Edward hasn't really said much in the last three days. The shock hasn't worn off just yet. I know he's trying to figure out how this is going to work. He's just as scared as I am. He's shutting himself off, but soon enough I know he'll come around. "I never knew it was possible to love someone I just met so much. I love this little boy, Bella."

"I know how you feel. With Masen…it was like I was opening my eyes for the first time. My heart grew like ten sizes the day he was born. I know babies don't fix things but Masen fixed everything in my life." I reached out to touch Cason's rosy cheek.

Alice smiled at me then looked down at the baby in her arms. She was truly happy. This is what she has wanted since the moment she married Jasper.

"Bella." I turned around in my seat to find Esme holding Alexa at the door. I knew it was time to leave. As much as I didn't want to leave my best friend, Alexa and I both needed a nap. "He is precious, Alice. Congratulations." Esme smiled at her.

"Thank you, Esme."

"Well, I'll see you later?" I stood up carefully. That was a huge task for me. "Take care of my nephew, alright?"

"Of course." Alice laughed as I turned to leave.

Alexa started reaching for me the second I got closer to her. Esme was trying to calm her down but she wasn't having it. I wished I could hold her, but being so far along in my pregnancy it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

"She looks so happy." Esme commented once we left Alice's room.

"She is. I know the feeling."

"I know I didn't give birth to Edward but to me, it's like I did. He's my boy through and through. So, I know the feeling too." She smiled confidently. "Blood doesn't make someone your child."

"You're right." I nodded. She was completely right. Even though I didn't carry or give birth to Alexa, she was still all mine. It didn't matter. I know that the only thing that matter's is that she's in my life and I'm in hers. She's my baby no matter what. I refuse to think otherwise.

* * *

"How's Aunt Alice doing?' Masen asked at dinner that night. We were all sitting around the table in a not so comfortable silence.

"Really good. Cason is adorable, Mase. You should really go see him." I look up from my plate. Edward is sitting across my from me just playing with his food. Esme is feeding Alexa while Carlisle looks through documents.

"I'm sure she'll bring him by soon." Masen shrugged. I just nodded. "Dad, are you alright?"

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Edward looked up at us.

"I was wondering…I know you can so no or whatever but…could I name the baby?" I wanted to jump out of my chair and hug Masen at the moment. Of course he could name the baby.

"Do you have any ideas?" Edward asked. It was the first time he's really gotten into a conversation with us about the third baby.

"Yeah. Uhm, Scott Michael or Michael Scott." He sounded a little shy. "We could call him Scotty or Mikey or something…"

I smiled at him.

"Bella, can we talk after dinner?" Edward asked unexpectedly.

"Of course." I say happily. Finally he's going to talk to me about the babies.

* * *

After dinner I try to clean up the kitchen but Esme sends me to bed instead. She says I need my rest before the babies come because everything is going to get hectic with three newborns and a toddler.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry how I've been acting…I'm just…this is a lot to take in." Edward ran his hands through his hair messing it up even more then it already was. I sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to me. He climbed in and I got as close to him as I possibly could.

"It's scary to think about, I know. I'm freaking out. We don't even have things for a boy. Only girls." I traced invisible circles on his stomach. He was gaining a lot of muscle in therapy. He had so much strength now, it was amazing.

"Esme's taking care of that." He turns so he's laying on his side. He reaches out and lifts my shirt. He leans down and starts planting kisses all over my tummy. "A little boy." He whispers.

"Michael Scott Cullen." I smile. I love the feeling of Edwards lips on my stomach. If I weren't feeling like a dinosaur right now I'm sure I'd like them somewhere else…but no, I'm far too big now for any of that.

"Mikey." He kisses me again. "Alison, Gracie and Mikey."

"Our babies." I start to cry. I can't wait until these hormones are gone. All of these different emotions are really starting to get to me.

I felt something sharp go through my stomach in the next moment. I stiffened and took a deep breath hoping it went away. It did but then moments later it was back.

"Edward, can you get Carlisle?" I said in a whisper. I wasn't sure what was going on but I was sure Carlisle would know.

Edward looked a little confused before he started yelling for his Dad.

The pain went through me again and this time I let it show on my face. It was just getting worse each time.

Carlisle rushed to me and started asking questions. He called an ambulance and the next thing I know, I'm being rushed to the hospital.

I can only hope to God that my babies are alright. Please, just don't let anything happen to my babies.


	50. Chapter 49

Alot of you wanted Edward's reaction. And Edward seems to have alot more to say then Bella. I love doing his POV. Pretend Mike Newton doesn't exist. Mikey is named after Michael, the little boy in the beginning of the story that died. And Scott was a suggestion from **Katherine Rosalie Hale.** I've never even seen the office...

anyway hope you like the chapter. :) sorry that it cuts off where it does.

Chapter 49

I gripped at my hair. Bella was constantly whining about how slow the doctor's are here. Sometimes I can't stand it, but I love her so I'm just going to grin and bear it all.

"Where is that damn doctor?" Bella grumbles as soon as we enter the room. I can't help but chuckle. She's so easy to piss off now. Just one thing sets her off. Masen and I tend to stay away from her. Esme's the only one brave enough to take her on.

But sometimes she has her moments. There's the nice Bella, the one who is constantly telling me she loves me. She's sweet and caring.

Then you have the horny Bella. That Bella is the easiest to please. I must say that one's become my favorite out of the three. I'm a guy, can you blame me?

Esme tries to calm Bella down but Bella's not having it. When Esme tries to leave Bella relaxes her face and tells her to stay.

Bella is tense the entire time we're waiting for the doctor.

When the doctor finally does arrive, Bella gives her the meanest glare ever. I want to laugh but really I'd rather keep all of my body parts in tact. She then starts going off about needing to get home to strip.

That's another thing. She's always naked or at least close to naked as she could possibly get in a house full of people. Before coming down the stairs people have to yell and ask if she's decent. Most of the time she gets pissed off and starts cussing that she has to put clothes on.

She complains about how hot it is in the house and that we're trying to kill her. Some nights I wake up with her entire body exposed with the temperature down to fifty degrees. We've even had to put a fan next to the bed. Esme decided then that she didn't want Alexa to freeze to death like the rest of us, so she went out a bought her a heater for her bedroom. Masen whined about needing one until Esme went out and got another.

"Of course. Let's see how those babies are doing."

I'm pretty sure after that my entire body went into shock.

I really hoped to God the doctor was joking with us. I tried to grab Bella's hand but she just snapped at me.

Triplets.

Fuck, how is this going to work?

I'm already tied up with therapy. I'm having to start back editing again. Then there's the house that I have to make sure if finished really soon.

Now, we go from preparing for twins to having to prepare for triplets.

I know I'll love him or her…but fuck.

It's a boy. He's smaller then his sisters but otherwise healthy enough to live. He's been hiding behind the girls this entire time.

The car ride home is quiet. Not one of us says a word until Bella's in the house and Esme pulls me aside.

"Suck it up, boy." She furrows her brow at me.

"But…" I feel like I might cry. God, this would be so much better if I could just fucking walk already. Sure, I'm getting strength back and I've been able to go a few steps but nothing without help. "Mom. We can't have a third baby." I whisper.

"It's already been done, Edward." She sighs as we hear Bella shut the front door on us. I can hear her talking to Masen. I'm pretty sure he was going to be in shock. He was probably on his way to his room when she caught him. He was usually up there whenever Bella was around. Everything he said or did just seemed to set her off. I knew she loved Masen…but damn, poor kid.

"We've already got the girls room decorated…" I kept my voice low. That was something Bella didn't know. I made sure Alison and Gracie's room was finished first. I even asked Esme to help me decorate it as a surprise to Bella. "And only girl clothes."

"Don't worry about that part. I'm already on it." She grinned. Of course Esme would be excited to be able to do more shopping. Esme made it impossible for Bella to even have a baby shower. She bought everything already. Then again Bella refused to parade around with her stomach as big as it was, in front of _'a bunch of skinny bitch's'_ as she so nicely put it. So a baby shower was off the second it was mentioned.

"I can't thank you and Dad enough." I sighed running my hand through my hair.

"We wouldn't be anywhere else." She leaned down to hug me. I hugged her back. "Oh, Edward. Your father and I wanted to talk to you about after you and Bella move out of this house."

"What about it?" I asked.

"We were wondering if we could just buy this house. We really enjoy living here. It's lovely."

"Of course. I'll just talk to Bella about it." I smiled and nodded.

That was perfect. One less thing I had to worry about. Then again I hadn't even thought about selling the house.

* * *

The plan about talking to Bella about the house fell through because the next three days I couldn't bring myself to speak to her.

I know it was a jerk thing of me to do…but when I really thought about it, I was scared to death. Three new kids in our house. Then there was Alexa who wasn't even two yet. Having a toddler and three newborns was going to be hectic…more then I felt we could handle.

I spent those three days thinking of ways to make this all work for us. Nothing really came to mind. So I guess you could say I wasted those three days on nothing.

Those three days I could have spent talking to Bella and telling her how I felt about everything. I could have been spending those days telling her how scared I was. I was pretty sure she'd tell me the same. I could see it all over her face. Even in the way she spoke.

Sometimes she would be standing in the kitchen just clutching at her stomach as if it would fall any second. She would usually be talking to the babies. It was mesmerizing how much she already loved all three of them. She usually ended her talk with tears. I would leave quietly then. It was the coward thing for me to do. I should have wheeled over there and talked to those babies too. There were so many things I could have done in those three days.

Now, I was finally facing it all.

I spent too long not saying a word to Bella.

It wasn't fair to her. This wasn't her fault.

* * *

Dinner was when I decided to finally say something to her. It wasn't much but it was enough to make her smile.

Masen brought up naming the baby. I hadn't even thought about naming him but then Masen asked if he could name him. I liked that idea, I could tell Bella did too.

After dinner I would tell her which name I liked. I had a feeling we would agree on it.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry how I've been acting…I'm just…this is a lot to take in." I spoke once we were back in the living room. Bella laid down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. Once in I brought Bella as close to me as she could possibly get. I loved having her close to me. I had been sleeping on the couch for the last three nights. I wasn't even sure why.

"It's scary to think about, I know. I'm freaking out. We don't even have things for a boy. Only girls." She worried as she traced invisible circles on my stomach. I couldn't believe how easy it was for her to forgive me. She didn't even yell at me. I had expected so much more…but I realized crazy Bella wasn't in the building. Sweet Bella was the one I was holding in my arms.

I assure her Esme is taking care of that. I don't want her having to worry about that when she needs to fully focus on just giving birth to our babies.

I lay on my side so I can see Bella better. I lean down and lift up her shirt. With her Belly exposed I start placing kisses all over it. I can tell she's starting to tear up as she tells me the name for our son she likes the best. Which happens to be the same exact one I was thinking about.

"Michael Scott Cullen." I knew the attachment both she and Masen had on the little boy Michael that died right before Bella found out she was pregnant.

"Mikey." I kiss her stomach gently again. "Alison, Gracie and Mikey."

"Our babies." Now she's full on crying. Suddenly I feel Bella stiffen. I figure it was the babies kicking her but I saw no movement. It was probably Mikey back there giving her a swift kick to her bladder.

She relaxed just as quickly.

Moments later it happened again. Something was wrong.

"Edward, can you get Carlisle?" She whispered to me. I suddenly got scared. This wasn't right. I started yelling for Carlisle. He was by the bed in seconds.

I could tell it was getting worse by the look on Bella's face.

The ambulance couldn't come fast enough. Bella was trying to not yell but I could tell she was hurting badly.

That's when I saw it. The blood.

I didn't say a word to her, just whispered it to Carlisle.

My heart fell when she was wheeled off towards the ambulance. She hadn't noticed the blood and for that I was thankful.

She didn't need to freak out any more then she already was.

Hell, I was freaked out enough for the both of us.


	51. Chapter 50

I could have gone into more detail here. But, I thought i'd just keep it simple. This story is ending soon. i'm sad. :( okay!

Chapter 50

"She's just fine, Edward." Dr. Henderson smiled at me after she left the OR that they rushed Bella into.

"She is?" My eyes widened as a smile spread across my face. My Bella was just fine. "And the babies?"

"Perfect. All three of them. We're getting her in her own room right now."

Earlier when we got to the hospital they decided to do an emergency c-section since Bella was bleeding out, but they were able to stop the blood quickly.

The only thing that bothered me was that I wasn't allowed in there when it was all happening. They were too afraid I'd get in the way incase something terrible happened. That made my heart drop knowing I wasn't going to see my kids being born. I wanted to be right next to Bella when they took our babies our. I wanted to be whispering in her ear that everything would be just fine. I wanted to kiss her forehead and tell her how much I loved and appreciated her.

But none of that mattered now. Bella was alive and our babies were alive.

* * *

BPOV

I pressed my hand to the glass that encased Michael Scott. He was so much smaller then his sisters. They didn't think he was going to make it when he was born but my boy is strong. All four pounds and 2 ounces of him.

Mikey opened his small eyes showing those blue eyes that were darkening by the second. He had dark brown hair, my hair color. Finally I was going to have a kid that looked a little like me. He was precious even with those tubes in him. I choked back a sob thinking about how vulnerable he seemed.

Now that he's here, I can't imagine how I could have been so upset knowing I was having triplets. I know now that I couldn't go on without him, just like I couldn't go on without his siblings. Now I had them in my life and I can't imagine them not being here.

"Bella." I heard Edward behind me. This was the first time we got to see Mikey since he was born. The girls had been able to come to the room but Mikey had to be watched closely. "He looks so tiny compared to the girls." I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. I turned my head slightly and saw his face merely inches from my own.

"Thank you." I whispered before closing the distance and kissing him with everything I had in me.

"For what?" He asked breathlessly when we pulled apart.

"For everything." I whispered. "You've brought so much joy into my life, Edward. I can never thank you enough." I started to cry. Seems like my pregnancy hormones hadn't left just yet.

"I love you so much, Bella. I'm the one that should be thankful. You're my everything." He cupped my cheek. "I can't believe he made it." Edward whispered turning his attention to our son.

"I know. He wasn't breathing in the OR. They had to rush him down here to the NICU the second he was born." I told Edward. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I hated that he missed the birth. I knew how much he wanted to be there. He hadn't gotten to see any of his children born.

"I can't believe they are finally here." He shook his head as he started smiling then he turned his attention back to me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry for shutting you out lately. I'm sorry for everything I've done wrong these past nine months. I want you to know that I'm not scared anymore. I'm more confident then I've ever been about anything. I know we're going to be okay. I just know it."

I let the tears flow from my eyes. He was perfect. I shook my head at him. None of that mattered now.

-

Alison Rose looked so much like my mother, it was almost scary. She was perfect though.

I let my hand ghost over her face. She squirmed a little and let out a small noise. I smiled and lifted her so I could kiss her rosy cheek.

"I can't believe you have three babies now." Alice chuckled from next to me. I looked over towards her where she was holding Gracie Renee. Gracie had a look all her own. I wasn't quite sure who she looked like just yet.

I knew for a fact just looking at Gracie that we were in for it with her, but I knew we'd enjoy every minute of it.

"I know, it's so surreal." I laughed. My laugh made Alison jump a little. I cradled her in my arms. She fell right to sleep. I took my free hand and smoothed back her hair. She had the most hair. It was so much lighter then I imagined.

"Mama!" I heard Alexa squeal from the doorway. Esme was holding her with tears in her eyes. I knew she had gone to see Mikey first since that's where Edward was right now. Esme got closer to the bed and I handed Alison over to her as she placed Alexa in my arms. Alexa hugged me tightly. "I miss you, Mama." She pouted when she pulled away from me.

"I missed you too, baby girl." I kissed her forehead. "Did you meet your brother?" I asked her.

"Mikey?" She questioned.

"That's the one." I laughed. She nodded happily before hugging me tightly again.

"Would you like to meet your sisters?" I asked her softly. Alexa pulled away from me again and grinned widely. I shifted her to one arm as Alice put Gracie in my other arm. Alison was placed on my lap again.

Alexa looked a little confused at her sisters.

"Baby?" She pointed towards Alison then Gracie.

"Your baby sisters."

Alexa just looked at the girls. She wouldn't touch them or anything, just watched them sleep. It was adorable how mesmerized she was by them both.

Carlisle came by after Esme took Alexa home to nap. He said Charlie would be by soon with Masen. I couldn't wait to see them both. I wanted to talk to Masen about everything.

-

I shifted in my bed so my son could slide in next to me. I winced at the pain I was feeling. Masen went to get up but I grabbed his arm.

"I'm fine. Just a little sore from the c-section." I tell him. Masen nodded. "Did you see your Dad yet?" I asked him.

"Grandpa's down there with him right now. I'll go down there after I see Alison and Gracie." He sighed. The nurse walked over and gave a girl to the both of us. They were hungry. "This is so weird." Masen chuckled as he held the bottle for Alison. "I went from being an only child to having four siblings."

"It is weird." I laughed as I held Gracie's bottle. "You know how much I love you, Masen?" I watched him with his sister.

"I love you too, Mom."

"You're my first baby. I'll never be able to thank you enough for being born." I chuckled. "You saved me and I can't imagine how the past sixteen years could have been spent without you. God, Mase, I was in such a terrible place when Edward left. I thought I'd never recover but I did and it was all thanks to you."

"You could have recovered without me." He sighed.

"No, I don't think I could have." I shook my head.

"I'm lucky that I got you as a Mom." He let out a small laugh.

"Well I'm lucky I got you as a son." I laughed along with him.

"And I'm lucky I got you two as a family." Charlie startled me from the doorway. He had a smile plastered on his face. "Mikey looks like you, Bells." He walked over.

"Well Alison here looks like Mom." I said nodding towards the baby Masen was holding.

"That she does." My father chuckled. "So I'm guessing that one's Gracie?" He pointed towards my other daughter. I lifted her up and handed her right over to him. She grasped his finger immediately. "This one's going to be feisty."

"I believe so." I sighed.


	52. Chapter 51

I wonder if you can guess which two characters the sequel will be about. :) there's a sort of hint in here. Oh, and would you like an extra with the Masen/Lane talk? Be sure to check out the extra's page.

Chapter 51

"Bella?" There was a small knock on the front door. Alison was sleeping in her bassinet while Gracie sucked down another bottle. Mikey was still at the hospital. Edward, Esme and Masen took shifts in being with him. I didn't like to think that he was there alone. My poor strong boy.

"Come in." I said as loud as possible hoping to not wake Alison. It's been two days since we've been home and this is the first time I've been able to put her in her bassinet to sleep. She always wanted to be held while Gracie was independent and just wanted to be left alone most of the time. "Hi, Lane." I grinned when my sons girlfriend entered my room. She walked over to my bed and sat down next to me.

"They are so pretty." She whispered smiling.

"Don't get any ideas." I joked; kind of.

"No, I plan on waiting a very long time before I start having babies." She tells me. I just nod.

"Good."

"Bella, can I talk to you about something? I mean…my Mom died when I was two and I don't have a woman around…and I can't talk to my dad about any of this stuff…" I stopped her before she went on. She was so nervous sitting there not looking at me, instead watching her hands twist together.

"You can talk to me about anything." I assure her. I look down at Gracie and realized she had fallen asleep while drinking her bottle. I held my finger up to Lane before laying Gracie in her bassinet. "So, what's up?" I moved to the couch and Lane followed me. I turned so I was facing her and sitting Indian style. I winced at the slight pain it caused in my belly. I was still sore from the c-section.

"I…I got accepted into this art program for the summer…and I'm not sure I want to take it. It's an awesome opportunity, one that doesn't happen often. I'm lucky to get it…but it's…in Europe…and that would mean leaving for three months…and I'm not sure my relationship with Masen could withstand it…" She sniffled. I reached out and grabbed her hand giving her a reassuring smile.

"Does Masen know?" I asked.

"No, I'm too afraid to tell him…"

"Do you love my son, Lane?" She looked right up at me and got a large smile on her face.

"Oh, Bella, I can't describe how much I love him. He's…amazing. I never thought I could fall in love at sixteen but with Masen…he's so easy to fall for."

"Then what are you afraid of, Lane?" I asked her.

"I'm afraid that…Masen doesn't love me as much as I do him. I'm afraid that while I'm gone he'll find another girl. I couldn't handle that…" She started to cry.

"Oh sweetie." I reached over and pulled her into a hug. "I can't tell you what you can do, but I can tell you that whatever decision my son will support you, because that's who he is. And honestly sweetheart, my son could never find a better girl to be with. I've never seen him this happy." I tell her as I smooth back her hair.

"This is so difficult." She laughed pulling away as she wiped at her eyes.

"I know…being apart…from someone you love, there's nothing like it. That pain…but sometimes you need that to realize how much that person really means to you. If it's meant to be it will all work out in the end."

"Thanks, Bella. I needed that." She sighed.

"Anytime. When do you leave?" I asked knowing that she would take it. If I knew my son like I thought I did then I knew he would push her to go.

"In a week…and I get home two days before school starts again." She looks over at my daughters. "You're a great Mom, Bella. I wish I had a Mom like you growing up. Your kids are really lucky."

"Thank you, Lane." I squeezed the girls hand.

"Well, I should go talk to Masen now." She looked out the window where Masen pulled up in his truck. She hugged me one last time before going outside to talk to my boy.

I sat there and watched my daughter's sleep away. I couldn't wait until Mikey was home so I could just sit and watch his tiny body sleep.

I looked up when I heard someone walk into my house. I expected to see Masen but instead it was Rosalie and she was alone. It was a rare moment to see Rose without her kids lately. After the accident Rosalie held her family so much closer then before.

"Hi." I smiled up at her.

"How are these adorable girls doing?" She asked walking over and looking at Alison and then Gracie.

"Perfect."

"I must hand it to Edward, he has some good genes." Rose chuckled walking over and sitting down on the couch with me. "So, what's going on out there?" She nodded towards the window. We could see Lane leaning up against Masen's truck while Masen paced in front of her clutching at his hair. God, that boy is so much like Edward.

"Lane got accepted into an art school for the summer. She's just now telling Masen." I say feeling like I'm intruding on a private moment between then so I look away.

"Oh, okay, the hair clutching makes sense now." She sighed. "Oh yeah, I brought you this." She handed a cup of coffee over to me. I grinned and accepted it.

"I haven't had coffee in so long." I moaned after taking a sip. It tasted so good.

"I figured as much." She laughed at me. "Where's Alexa?" She looked around the living room confused. Usually Alexa would be sitting on the floor in front of me playing with her dolls.

"Upstairs taking a nap with Esme." I tell her. Esme was so tired after staying up with the girls and me last night. I couldn't wait until they slept all night and I had a feeling Esme couldn't wait either.

Edward did as much as he possibly could from his wheelchair. Sometimes when the girls would cried, I could see how terrible he felt that he couldn't stand up and walk them around like I did. That always calmed them down. Even if he didn't walk the floor with us all night he still stayed up. He said as long as I was awake then he could be too. We found out that Gracie and Alison fell asleep a lot faster in his arms, though. Alison's favorite spot was Edward's chest. Right where his heart was. Gracie just liked him to cradle her.

"I can't imagine how it is with two infants. God, soon you'll have three." Rosalie shook her head.

"It's not so bad. I'm enjoying it." I shrugged.

My kids were worth every night of sleep I missed. I wouldn't trade this for the world, even as tired as I am.

I yawned and shut my eyes for a minute before I heard Alison start crying. I knew it was her cry, it was much more high pitched then Gracie's.

"How about I watch these two while you go upstairs and take a nap." Rosalie suggested. I stood up and walked over to pick Alison up. I bit down on my lower lip unsure if I was ready to do that just yet. "Don't look at me like that, Bella. I know what I'm doing."

"I know that." I yawned again. "Come wake me up in an hour."

I wasn't even sure if I could fall asleep being upstairs with the girls downstairs but as soon as my head hit the pillow of my old bed, I was out.


	53. Chapter 52

I'm sad to say that next chapter will be the last one. I feel like it's a good place to start. Now, if you guessed that the sequel was about Masen and Lane, then you are correct. Of course you'll get alot of Edward/Bella. There would be no story without the two of them.

Chapter 52

After Mikey was finally able to come home I could see how jealous Alexa was getting of the triplets. She was more whiney then usual and always wanted me to hold her. She went back into the habit of sucking her thumb, which she had broken months ago.

"Mama loves you." I kissed the top of her head as I held Alexa in my arms. The triplets were sleeping which meant Esme was upstairs taking a nap. I really couldn't thank that woman enough for the help. She was truly a blessing.

Masen had taken Edward to therapy so I decided to spend a little time with Alexa. She was content just sitting in my arms as she watched cartoons on the TV.

I looked over at the three bassinets where my babies were sleeping. Mikey was home after two weeks, everything was finally complete. He was so much stronger then when he was born. He'd gained three pounds in the hospital. The boy loved to eat.

I spent all of yesterday just holding him after we brought him home. His eyes were now a dark brown, a lot like mine. He was already getting a head full of hair while the girls hair seemed to thin out during the weeks. I couldn't tell yet which color hair they would have.

"Baby cry." Alexa whined when we heard Alison's high pitched cry. I sighed and sat Alexa on the couch. She frowned and got down following me to where the babies were. "Shhh." She told her sister. I couldn't help but let out a laugh when I picked Alison up.

"She's hungry." I told Alexa when I saw her narrow her little eyes at me. "Come on, I'll make you something to eat." I told the almost two year old. I fixed Alexa a bottle first and then two more from when the other two woke up. I laid Alison back down before helping Alexa into her highchair.

"Fishy!" She giggled.

"You want fish sticks?" I grimaced knowing they had become her favorite. She nodded enthusiastically. "Alright."

"Yum yum." Alexa said from her chair.

As I started making Alexa's lunch Esme walked into the kitchen with Mikey.

"I think this little guy is hungry." She sighed. I pointed to where his bottle was already made. She heated it up before sticking it into his waiting mouth.

I gave Alexa her fish sticks then went to check on the girls. Gracie was still sleeping but Alison was just laying there looking around. I was surprised she hadn't cried yet, she usually wanted to be held constantly.

"Sweet girl." I sighed leaned down and kissing her forehead.

The front door opened and I heard Masen saying something to Edward who was smiling widely.

"What?" I asked them.

"He walked across the room today." Masen smiled proudly.

"With crutches." Edward verified. I rolled my eyes at him. "But…I did it."

"Oh Baby!" I walked quickly to him and wrapped my arms around him. He brought me down into his lap before kissing me right on the lap. "I'm so proud of you." I leaned back.

"I love you." He pecked my nose.

"I love you too." I giggled.

Suddenly Masen went back to sulking over Lane. The poor kid was missing his girlfriend already and she had only been gone a week.

I knew that feeling, but at least he and Lane would keep contact. That was better then nothing.

"Has he been like that all day?" I asked Edward.

"Pretty much, except for the car ride here."

"Poor kid." I sighed nuzzling my face into Edward's neck.

* * *

I spent that night walking the floors with Mikey. It reminded me so much of when I first had Masen. This was the only way he would calm down and fall back to sleep at night.

Alison was laying on Edward's chest cooing while Gracie was already sleeping.

"I have a feeling that girl is going to walk to the beat of her own drum." Edward nodded towards Gracie's bassinet.

"I have that feeling too. We'll have our hands full with Gracie Renee." I laughed. "Now, Alison there is already a Daddy's girl so I'm sure we have nothing to worry about."

"Mikey's a mama's boy, which isn't a bad thing." Edward watched me bounce Mikey who was slowly falling asleep.

"I love it. He reminds me of Masen so much." I looked down at my baby boy. "I feel like I'm out of my league trying to raise girls. They are so different then boys. Alexa surprises me everyday and those two…well they never cease to amaze me."

"You're going to do great with all three of our girls. Heck, Alexa had you wrapped around her finger the first week you met her. So, I'm pretty sure you'll manage."

"Yeah." I sighed looking over to where Alexa was sleeping next to Edward. She refused to sleep upstairs in her crib so we compromised. I figured I wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway. "She looks like an angel when she's sleeping." I chuckled. Mikey was fast asleep so I laid him in his bassinet making sure to wrap him tight in his blanket.

I crawled into the bed between Alexa and Edward. I was lucky they were able to fit a king size bed down here, otherwise this wouldn't be possible. Alexa moved constantly in her sleep.

"I can't believe how much I already love these babies." Edward whispered.

"I know what you mean." Edward used his free arm to wrap around me. I snuggled into his side and watched his chest rise up and down with Alison sleeping away. "I never imagined life turning out like this…but it's better then what I could ever dream of."

* * *

"Bella, are you ready to go to the new house?" Edward quirked an eyebrow at me. We were going over there to look over a few things. According to Edward it was almost finished and he had a surprise for me.

"Yeah, let me just say goodbye one last time." I bit my lip. It was the first time I was leaving the house without the babies since they were born three weeks ago.

"Alright." He shook his head and wheeled out to the truck. Pretty soon we would need a new car or van. We weren't sure which one we were wanting to get yet but it was something on the top of our list.

"Mama will be back soon." I kissed the top of Alison's head. She was laying in Alice's arms with her green eyes wide open. I walked over and kissed Mikey and Gracie before turning around and heading towards the front door. I quickly turned back around and started walking back towards them but Alice stopped me.

"Jesus, Bella! Just go, Rose and I can handle this." Alice rolled her eyes. Their husbands had their kids so they were spending the afternoon watching mine while I went with Edward, Masen and Alexa to the new house.

Masen was strapping Alexa in the truck when I finally made my way outside.

"Come on, Bella. They'll be fine." Edward told me. I just nodded as he was able to get himself into the truck. I was so proud of him, he had come a long way since December.

The strength he had in him was unbelievable.

-

It was so much bigger then I could have imagined. I was almost nervous to live in such a large home but once I entered the front door all of that changed.

I quickly gave Alexa to Masen so I could look around.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked. I turned to face him.

"I love it! This is…" I laughed looking around the room. I started imagining how I would decorate the house. I wasn't quite sure yet, of course I'd have to get Alice's help. "Perfect." I whispered.

"Our bedroom is through there." Edward pointed down a hall off to the right. I smiled and walked towards it. It was all the way at the end of the hall.

I took a deep breath before opening the door.

It was…breathtaking.

"Alice, Rose and Esme did this." Edward admitted.

"How…Wow…" I laughed. Along the wall next to the bed set three new bassinets. "Are they not going to have their own room?" I asked Edward.

"Of course they are. This is just until you are comfortable enough for them to sleep upstairs." I quickly walk over to him and bend down to kiss him right on the lips.

"Thank you for all of this."

"There's one more surprise. Now, I won't be able to go up there but I'm sure you'll love it." I gave him a strange look. "It's the first door on the left as soon as you get up the stairs."

The nursery.

I gasped. I hadn't been expecting this. It was beautiful. The ceiling was painted blue with clouds, when you looked down there was green painted grass along the bottom border. It looked like a meadow in there.

Along three walls was a crib. Above each crib was the babies names.

"This was Dad's idea." Masen startled me entering the room behind me.

"I'm…speechless." I started to cry.

"Awww, Ma. Don't start that." Masen groaned.

"I'm sorry…all of this is just so much more then I could ask for. I never thought…" I shook my head.

"You deserve everything, Mom." My oldest son smiled and walked over to wrap his arms around me.

We stood there for awhile while I cried. When we walked down the stairs Edward gave me a tour of the rest of the downstairs.

The house was…beyond words.

It was everything I could ever dream of having.

"Thank you." I turned to Edward.

"So, everything's okay?" He asked nervously.

"Everything's better then okay, Edward. It's…wow. I can't even begin to describe how much I love this house."

"I'm happy."

I turned around when I heard Alexa squealing. Masen was chasing her. I just smiled. I could see all five of my children in this house. Alexa and the triplets growing up being able to run around as they pleased.

Family get-together's were going to be so much easier with the large dining room and kitchen.

"So, when do we move in?"

"As soon as you want to." Edward told me.

"Well, it I had it my way we'd be in it today but…within the next couple of months is fine with me." I shrugged.

"Sounds perfect." I kissed him again, this time adding passion into it.

"Oh yeah, August 27th is our wedding date." Edward pulled away slightly. I widened my eyes. Wedding date?

"Are you serious?" I squealed.

"I was thinking sooner but Alice said she needed more time to plan."

"August 27th is perfect."


	54. Chapter 53

It's over...i'm sad to end this, but this is where this story needed to stop. Although the sequel with focus on Lane and Masen you will see alot of Bella/Edward. Without them the story isn't possible. Between now and when I post the sequel i'll be writing more extra's, so be sure to check those out! The sequel is called Better Together. :) thank you guys for sticking with me for this long! When I started this story I really didn't think it would get far. You guys are amazing, I will never be able to thank all of you enough!

Chapter 53

August 27th came a lot quicker then I imagined it would. Here I am half an hour before my wedding trying to figure out how I'm going to breathe in the dress Alice had put on me. I lost most of my baby weight, which was unbelievable but I'm still not as small as I was before I got pregnant with the triplets.

The triplets. Just thinking about those three babies brought a smile to my face. Gracie was still my independent lady, Mikey was still a mama's boy and Alison…well she would rather be in her daddy's arms then anyone else's. I looked back behind me and saw them all in their carriers fast asleep. The girls were wearing adorable matching dresses, that matched both Alice and Rose's dresses, and Mikey was in the smallest tux I had ever seen.

"Mom." My seventeen year old son walked into the room. "You look amazing."

"You look just like your dad." I let out a small laugh trying not to start crying.

"That's what everyone keeps saying." Masen rolled his eyes but kept a smile on his face.

"Did she make it, baby?" I asked hopefully. It was two days before school started, which happened to be the day Lane was supposed to get back. Masen moped around for the last three months. It was depressing, but he kept in touch with Lane as much as possible. I just knew they were going to make it through this.

"No, not yet. I called her Dad and he was waiting on her to exit the plane." Masen stuffed his hands in his pockets as his smile disappeared.

"She'll make it." I reached out and squeezed his hand.

"Yeah, well…I just came to get Mikey. Aunt Alice said you have ten minutes until she gets back in here and she also told me to tell that you better not have messed up your makeup." My son smirked. I just rolled my eyes, of course Alice would say something about that. "Come on, baby brother." Masen whispered picking Mikey up out of his carrier. Mikey started to fuss but Masen was able to calm him down. Masen was really good with the babies. Sometimes I would catch him rocking one of them and telling them stories. It was adorable. If you asked him he would deny it, though.

"I love you, Masen." I told him before he left the girls and me alone. Just as he walked out the door Alexa barreled through.

"Mama!" She cried out running from Alice. "No, no!" The two year old screamed.

Her dress was the same exact style and color as the other's. She looked downright precious even though she was throwing a fit.

"What's going on?" I asked wanting to pick her up but I knew Alice would freak out if I did.

"She won't let me brush her hair." Alice ran in after her. She clutched at her stomach and then ran towards the attached bathroom. I grimaced when I heard the sounds of her throwing up.

"Are you okay in there?" I started walking towards the bathroom but Alice stopped me.

"I'm fine, now you have only twenty minutes until you get married so only worried about yourself."

"Bring Alexa to Edward, she'll let him brush her hair." I sighed as I heard one of the girls wake up. Rose came into the room in her purple dress. She was going to be holding Gracie at the front while Alice held Alison. Of course Masen would be the one holding his little brother. Alexa was going to sit with Esme but I had a feeling my baby girl wasn't going to have that.

I looked over at Rosalie who was busy feeding Gracie. I was more then grateful that Alison was still passed out.

"Are you ready for this, Bella?" She asked me.

"More then ready." I smiled. I thought I would feel nervous but I didn't. I felt confident and ready for this.

* * *

"You know if you don't want to do this then we can go right now, Bells." Charlie looked nervous, the kind of nervous I should have been feeling.

"No, Dad, I want to do this." I smiled hooking my arm through his.

"You look beautiful." He sighed and kissed the top of my head.

"It's time!" Alice jumped a little hugging me one last time before she went out the double doors with Alison. I took a deep breath as Rose went behind her with Gracie. Alexa was already up front with Esme and I was sure that Masen had Mikey.

"I'm ready." I smiled at Charlie.

The doors opened, I suddenly got nervous. I was going to have to walk in front a room full of people. Even though I requested a small wedding Alice went all out. I wasn't even sure I knew half of the people here.

I just hoped that I didn't trip and embarrass myself today.

I kept my eyes closed for a minute before opening them.

I stopped right in my tracks when I looked up at the front of the church.

Edward** _stood_** there next to Masen with the biggest smile on his face. He wasn't in his wheelchair, I could have sworn just the day before they he was using it.

I started crying, and if I could I would have run up towards the front and jump into Edward's arms, but these damn heels stopped that from happening.

"Come on, Bells." Charlie coaxed me in to moving again. I was in awe of my soon-to-be husband. He didn't have a wheel chair or any type of crutch.

As we reached the front Edward walked towards us and Charlie handed me off to him.

"Surprise." He whispered in my ear. "I told you I'd walk on our wedding day."

* * *

"I've been faking the wheelchair for the past month." Edward whispered to me at the reception. "I wanted to surprise you."

"I can't…I'm…" I couldn't even speak. "How…"

"I don't know, it's some sort of miracle." He chuckled. I rest my head on his shoulder as we swayed to the music with his arms wrapped around me. "I can't wait to get you home so I can make love to my wife." His words made me shiver. I lifted my head and kissed him on the lips.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I was finally able to get out a full sentence.

"Come on." He stepped away from me then grabbed my hand. "We're getting out of here." He told Alice and my Father. Charlie frowned knowing exactly what we were going to do. I couldn't help but blush.

"Oh Bella!" Alice wrapped her arms around me.

"Take care of my girls." I told Alice. She was taking Alexa and Alison while we were on our honeymoon while Charlie and Sue were going to watch Gracie. Emmett begged to take Mikey, after all he only had girls. Masen would be staying at our new house alone.

Esme and Carlisle had stayed in our old house instead of buying a new one. I liked that idea since I was sort of attached to that house. It was the first one I had bought on my own. It was the house that Masen grew up in for over ten years.

"You better not let anything happen to my daughter." Charlie warned Edward. I just rolled my eyes.

"No sir, I sure won't." Edward smiled down at me. He squeezed my hand.

Before we left I noticed that Lane had made it. She and Masen were on the dance floor. My son had the biggest smile on his face as he held his girlfriend close.

They reminded me so much of the love that Edward and I have.

We said goodbye to everyone and then we headed to our house. We wouldn't be leaving for our honeymoon until the next day so Masen was going to stay with Esme and Carlisle for the night.

As soon as we got in the front door clothes went flying, my beautiful dress was the first thing to go.

Edward cupped my cheek before we went into our bedroom.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen." He kissed my lips.

"And I love you, Mr. Cullen." I laughed throwing my arms around his neck.

The End!

Hope to see you at the sequel!


	55. SEQUEL INFO!

SEQUEL INFO!

The sequel will be posted within the next couple of weeks but I was wondering what you thought of my new idea.

Along side Lane/Masen's story (Better Together) I was thinking of writing Bella/Edward's point of view of things. I'm just not ready to let them go just yet.

I'm willing to do the extra writing, it's become the one thing that I enjoy doing.

I thought Bella/Edward's story was finished but…not just yet. I want to show you guys the triplets and Alexa growing up along with Alice and Rose's families.

So, tell me what you think about that!

Also, this is the song that inspired Into Your Arms.

**Into Your Arms by The Maine**

_There was a new girl in town  
__She had it all figured out (had it all figured out)  
Well I'll state something rash  
She had the most amazing...smile.  
_

_I bet you didn't expect that  
She made me change my ways (she made me change my ways)  
With eyes like a sunset, baby  
And legs that went on for days_

_I'm falling in love  
But its falling apart  
I need to find my way back to the start  
When we were in love  
Things were better than they are  
Let me back into...Into your your arms._

_She made her way to the bar  
I tried to talk to her  
But she seemed so far (she seemed so far)  
Out of my league  
I had to find a way to get her next to me_

_I'm falling in love  
But its falling apart  
I need to find my way back to the start  
When we were in love  
Things were better than they are  
Let me back into...Into your your arms._

_Oh she's slipping away  
I always reach when I'm thinking of words to say  
Oh the things she does  
Make it seem like love  
Just a game (just a game)  
And I like the way we play_

_I'm falling in love  
But its falling apart.  
I need to find my way back to the start (x2)_

_When we were in love  
Things were better than they are  
Let me back into...Into your arms  
Into your arms._

_Into your your arms _


	56. SEQUEL IS UP!

SEQUEL IS POSTED!

Things changed just a little on it, so go on over and read **Better Together**!

Thank you all for the support you gave me on Into Your Arms, I can only hope you will like **Better Together** just as much!


	57. Extra's Reminder!

Extra's Reminder!

I'm still writing the Into Your Arms: Extra's! So, if you haven't gone over there you should really check those out and give me suggestions for what you want to see that you didn't get to see in Into Your Arms. If you're reading Better Together then also tell me what you'd like to see that happened during the five years before Better Together started, as long as it doesn't pertain to the plot of the story, just a bunch of fluff.

Thank you all!


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